Proof of Heaven (20 page)

But now there was no mistaking her, no mistaking the loving smile, the confident and infinitely comforting look, the sparkling blue eyes.

It was she.

For an instant, the worlds met. My world here on earth, where I was a doctor and father and a husband. And that world out there—a world so vast that as you journeyed in it you could lose your very sense of your earthly self and become a pure part of the cosmos, the God-soaked and love-filled darkness.

In that one moment, in the bedroom of our house, on a rainy Tuesday morning, the higher and the lower worlds met. Seeing that photo made me feel a little like the boy in the fairy tale who travels to the other world and then returns, only to find that it was all a dream—until he looks in his pocket and finds a scintillating handful of magical earth from the realms beyond.

As much as I’d tried to deny it, for weeks now a fight had been going on inside me. A fight between the part of my mind that had been out there beyond the body, and the doctor—the healer who had pledged himself to science. I looked into the face of my sister, my angel, and I knew—knew completely—that the two people I had been in the last few months, since coming back, were indeed one. I needed to completely embrace my role
as a doctor, as a scientist and healer, and as the subject of a very unlikely, very real, very important journey into the Divine itself. It was important not because of me, but because of the fantastically, deal-breakingly convincing details behind it. My NDE had healed my fragmented soul. It had let me know that I had always been loved, and it also showed me that absolutely everyone else in the universe is loved, too. And it had done so while placing my physical body into a state that, by medical science’s current terms, should have made it impossible for me to have experienced
anything
.

I know there will be people who will seek to invalidate my experience anyhow, and many who will discount it out of court, because of a refusal to believe that what I underwent could possibly be “scientific”—could possibly by anything more than a crazy, feverish dream.

But I know better. And both for the sake of those here on earth and those I met beyond this realm, I see it as my duty—both as a scientist and hence a seeker of truth, and as a doctor devoted to helping people—to make it known to as many people as I can that what I underwent is true, and real, and of stunning importance. Not just to me, but to all of us.

Not only was my journey about love, but it was also about who we are and how connected we all are—the very meaning of all existence. I learned who I was up there, and when I came back, I realized that the last broken strands of who I am down here were sewn up.

You are loved.
Those words are what I needed to hear as an orphan, as a child who’d been given away. But it’s also what every one of us in this materialistic age needs to hear as well, because in terms of who we really are, where we really came from, and where we’re really going, we all feel (wrongly) like orphans.
Without recovering that memory of our larger connectedness, and of the unconditional love of our Creator, we will always feel lost here on earth.

So here I am. I’m still a scientist, I’m still a doctor, and as such I have two essential duties: to honor truth and to help heal. That means telling my story. A story that as time passes I feel certain happened for a reason. Not because I’m anyone special. It’s just that with me, two events occurred in unison and concurrence, and together they break the back of the last efforts of reductive science to tell the world that the material realm is all that exists, and that consciousness, or spirit—yours and mine—is not the great and central mystery of the universe.

I’m living proof.

My near-death experience inspired me to help make the world a better place for all, and Eternea is the vehicle to enable that fundamental change. Eternea is a nonprofit publicly supported charity I cofounded with my friend and colleague, John R. Audette. Eternea represents a passionate effort to serve the greater good by helping to create the best possible future for earth and its inhabitants.

Eternea’s mission is to advance research, education, and applied programs concerning spiritually transformative experiences, as well as the physics of consciousness and the interactive relationship between consciousness and physical reality (e.g., matter and energy). It is an organized effort to apply in practical ways not only the insights gained from near-death experiences, but also to serve as a repository for all manner of spiritually transformative experiences.

Please visit
www.Eternea.org
to further your own spiritual awakening or to share your own personal story about a spiritually transformative experience you may have had (or if you are grieving from the loss of a loved one, or if you are facing a terminal illness or a loved one is). Eternea will also provide a valuable resource for scientists, academicians, researchers, theologians, and members of the clergy who are interested in this field of study.

Eben Alexander, M.D.

Lynchburg, Virginia

July 10, 2012

I wish to especially acknowledge my dear family for suffering through the hardest part of this experience, while I was in coma. To Holley, my wife of thirty-one years, and our wonderful sons, Eben IV and Bond, who all played central roles in bringing me back, and in helping me comprehend my experience. Additional dear family and friends to thank include my beloved parents Betty and Eben Alexander, Jr., and my sisters Jean, Betsy, and Phyllis, who all participated in a pact (with Holley, Bond, and Eben IV) to hold my hand 24/7 while I was in coma, assuring that I always felt the touch of their love. Betsy and Phyllis did yeoman’s work in spending nights with me during my full-blown ICU psychosis (when I couldn’t sleep at all,
ever
) and in those first very tenuous days and nights after I went to the Neuroscience Step-down Unit. Peggy Daly (Holley’s sister) and Sylvia White (Holley’s friend of thirty years) were also part of the constant vigil in my room on the ICU. I never could have returned without their individual loving efforts to bring me back to this world. To Dayton and Jack Slye, who did without their mother, Phyllis, while she was with me. Holley, Eben IV, Mom, and Phyllis also helped in editing and critiquing my story.

My heaven-sent birth family, and especially my departed sister, also named Betsy, whom I never met in this world.

My blessed and capable doctors at Lynchburg General Hospital (LGH), especially Drs. Scott Wade, Robert Brennan, Laura Potter, Michael Milam, Charlie Joseph, Sarah and Tim Hellewell, and many more.

The extraordinary nurses and staff at LGH: Rhae Newbill, Lisa Flowers, Dana Andrews, Martha Vesterlund, Deanna Tomlin, Valerie Walters, Janice Sonowski, Molly Mannis, Diane Newman, Joanne Robinson, Janet Phillips, Christina Costello, Larry Bowen, Robin Price, Amanda Decoursey, Brooke Reynolds, and Erica Stalkner. I was comatose and had to get names from my family, so forgive me if you were there and I have omitted your name.

Critical to my return were Michael Sullivan and Susan Reintjes.

John Audette, Raymond Moody, Bill Guggenheim, and Ken Ring, pioneers in the near-death community, whose influence on me has been immeasurable (not to mention Bill’s excellent editorial assistance).

Other thought leaders of the “Virginia Consciousness” movement, including Drs. Bruce Greyson, Ed Kelly, Emily Williams Kelly, Jim Tucker, Ross Dunseath, and Bob Van de Castle.

My God-sent literary agent, Gail Ross, and her wonderful associates, Howard Yoon and others at the Ross Yoon Agency.

Ptolemy Tompkins for his scholarly contributions from unparalleled insight into several millennia of literature on the afterlife, and for his superb editorial and writing skills, used to weave my experience into this book, truly doing it the justice it deserved.

Priscilla Painton, vice president and executive editor, and Jonathan Karp, executive vice president and publisher at Simon & Schuster, for their extraordinary vision and passion to make this world a far better place.

Marvin and Terre Hamlisch, wonderful friends whose enthusiasm and passionate interest carried me through at a critical time.

Terri Beavers and Margaretta McIlvaine for their brilliant bridging of healing and spirituality.

Karen Newell for sharing explorations into deep conscious states and teaching how to “Be the love that you are,” and to the other miracle workers at the Monroe Institute in Faber, Virginia, especially Robert Monroe for pursuing what
is
, and not just what
should be;
Carol Sabick de la Herran and Karen Malik, who sought me out; and Paul Rademacher and Skip Atwater, who welcomed me into that loving community in the ethereal high mountain meadows in central Virginia. Also, to Kevin Kossi, Patty Avalon, Penny Holmes, Joe and Nancy “Scooter” McMoneagle, Scott Taylor, Cindy Johnston, Amy Hardie, Loris Adams, and all of my fellow Gateway Voyagers at the Monroe Institute in February 2011, my facilitators (Charleene Nicely, Rob Sandstrom, and Andrea Berger) and fellow Lifeline participants (and facilitators Franceen King and Joe Gallenberger) in July 2011.

My good friends and critics, Jay Gainsboro, Judson Newbern, Dr. Allan Hamilton, and Kitch Carter, who read early versions of this manuscript and sensed my frustration in synthesizing my spiritual experience with neuroscience. Judson and Allan were critical in helping me appreciate the true power of my experience from the viewpoint of the scientist/skeptic, and Jay the same from the standpoint of the scientist/mystic.

Fellow explorers of deep consciousness and the Oneness, including Elke Siller Macartney and Jim Macartney.

My fellow near-death experiencers Andrea Curewitz, for her excellent editorial advice, and Carolyn Tyler, for her soulful guidance in my understanding.

Blitz and Heidi James, Susan Carrington, Mary Horner, Mimi Sykes, and Nancy Clark, whose courage and faith in the face of unfathomable loss helped me to appreciate my gift.

Janet Sussman, Martha Harbison, Shobhan (Rick) and Danna Faulds, Sandra Glickman, and Sharif Abdullah, fellow travelers whom I first met on 11/11/11, gathered together to share our seven optimistic visions of a brilliant conscious future for all of humanity.

Numerous additional people to thank include the many friends whose acts during that most difficult time, and whose thoughtful comments and observations have helped my family and guided the telling of my story: Judy and Dickie Stowers, Susan Carrington, Jackie and Dr. Ron Hill, Drs. Mac McCrary and George Hurt, Joanna and Dr. Walter Beverly, Catherine and Wesley Robinson, Bill and Patty Wilson, DeWitt and Jeff Kierstead, Toby Beavers, Mike and Linda Milam, Heidi Baldwin, Mary Brockman, Karen and George Lupton, Norm and Paige Darden, Geisel and Kevin Nye, Joe and Betty Mullen, Buster and Lynn Walker, Susan Whitehead, Jeff Horsley, Clara Bell, Courtney and Johnny Alford, Gilson and Dodge Lincoln, Liz Smith, Sophia Cody, Lone Jensen, Suzanne and Steve Johnson, Copey Hanes, Bob and Stephanie Sullivan, Diane and Todd Vie, Colby Proffitt, the Taylor, Reams, Tatom, Heppner, Sullivan, and Moore families, and so many others.

My gratitude, most especially to God, is unbounded.

As an infectious diseases specialist I was asked to see Dr. Eben Alexander when he presented to the hospital on November 10, 2008, and was found to have bacterial meningitis. Dr. Alexander had become ill quickly with flu-like symptoms, back pain, and a headache. He was promptly transported to the Emergency Room, where he had a CT scan of his head and then a lumbar puncture with spinal fluid suggesting a gram-negative meningitis. He was immediately begun on intravenous antibiotics targeting that and placed on a ventilator machine because of his critical condition and coma. Within twenty-four hours the gram-negative bacteria in the spinal fluid was confirmed as
E.coli
. An infection more common in infants,
E. coli
meningitis is very rare in adults (less than one in 10 million annual incidence in the United States), especially in the absence of any head trauma, neurosurgery, or other medical conditions such as diabetes. Dr. Alexander was very healthy at the time of his diagnosis and no underlying cause for his meningitis could be identified.

The mortality rate for gram-negative meningitis in children and adults ranges from 40 to 80 percent. Dr. Alexander presented to the hospital with seizures and a markedly altered mental status, both of which are risk factors for neurological complications or death (mortality over 90 percent). Despite prompt and aggressive antibiotic treatment for his
E.coli
meningitis
as well as continued care in the medical intensive care unit, he remained in a coma six days and hope for a quick recovery faded (mortality over 97 percent). Then, on the seventh day, the miraculous happened—he opened his eyes, became alert, and was quickly weaned from the ventilator. The fact that he went on to have a full recovery from this illness after being in a coma for nearly a week is truly remarkable.

—Scott Wade, M.D.

In reviewing my recollections with several other neurosurgeons and scientists, I entertained several hypotheses that might explain my memories. Cutting right to the chase, they all failed to explain the rich, robust, intricate interactivity of the Gateway and Core experiences (the “ultra-reality”). These included: