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My
fingers delve into his scalp and tighten; he moans as he switches to the other
side to provide the same delight.  I am writhing and panting against him,
I didn’t think it would ever happen to me, but I know I have fallen desperately
in love with him. 

‘Fuck
me, Nate,’ my body is screaming for the connection of his body inside mine.

‘Not
yet,’ he almost scolds me.  His lips move down and lick a trail to my
throbbing clitoris where he flicks it with his tongue before sucking it hard
into his mouth.  ‘Oh god, oh god,’ my body is burning, my sex clenching
with need.  Just when I think I can take no more he halts.

‘Turn
over,’ he commands, in a voice that has my womb trembling, ‘onto all
fours.’ 

I
open my legs, and bend over the bed offering up my arse to him, while my sex
taunts him, willing him to play.  My shoes are still firmly on my feet,
dangling over the side of the mattress.

‘Never
seen a more stunning sight in my life,’ he whispers, ‘anything you don’t want
to do?’ He checks.

‘Go
at it,’ I urge.

Nates
lips move down and lick up my swollen, wet lips as I push back
against him, wanting, needing more than he is currently giving.  His
tongue licks up the juices and rims my arse, leaving me whimpering with
want.  Encouraged by the sounds, his thumb moves through my juices before
pushing deep inside my forbidden hole. 

‘Oh
my,’ I move my hips for more.

‘Jesus,
you are sent from heaven, woman,’ he evidently likes what he is doing and
fastens the pace at my anus with his thumb while sucking down my sex to flick
my clitoris with his tongue.  Instantly the building commences, I am pushing
back eager for him to fill me as my sex contracts, and I shout out with the
intensity of the climax. 

Moving
forward, he plunges his cock deep inside my sex, frantically fucking me, his
hands at my hips circling me around his persistent erection.
 

‘Mine!’
he growls, drilling into me as I push back needing him to consume me, take away
all the bad things that happened to me, to help me breathe easier.

‘I’ll
always be yours,’ I cry out as I am once again gripped by sensation as my body
shudders under his. 

‘Jesus!’
He growls, suddenly pulling out of me and moving to the bedside cabinet.

‘Don’t
leave me,’ I pant, my body still trembling with the aftershocks of my
release.  I turn my head to see Nate lifting a bottle of what looks like
lube and my body alerts with apprehension. 

‘I’d
never leave you,’ he mumbles as he disappears behind me and spreads the cold
liquid around my sex.  I am panting in anticipation of his
intention.  I look over my shoulder to see him fisting his sheening dick,
his eyes intent.  ‘Gonna fuck your ass, babe,’ he steps forward, I hum in
response.  ‘Wanted this ass, forever,’ his fingers move over my sex,
delving in and out of my sex before moving to my forbidden hole. I groan as he
pushes two fingers and stretches me in preparation, I have done this a couple
of times and enjoyed it fine, doing it with Nate, I know will be a whole new
dimension.  ‘You like that, babe?’ He whispers.

‘Fuck
yeah,’ I push back, loving the burn of his fingers. ‘Need your cock, baby,’ I
beg.

‘Drop
down to your elbows,’ he commands, I do as he asks and immediately feel him at
the slippery entrance.  He eases himself in slowly, moaning in pleasure,
‘so fucking tight,’ he growls. 

I
allow him to push in past the muscled ring before pushing back towards him,
‘more,’ I whimper.

He
pushes balls deep inside me, and I cry out, a mixture of pain, pressure and
pleasure almost immediately sending me to the edge.  ‘Sent from fucking
heaven,’ he repeats, before pulling out and instantly thrusting back inside
me.  He picks up the pace, fucking me harder and harder and my body
climbs.  Holding my hips, he continues his onslaught, the pleasurable
noises only heightening my pleasure.

‘Going
to come,’ I scream as my body slams with the concentration of my climax. 

I
hear Nate cry out my name before he smashes into me once more, delivering his
release before stroking in and out slowly bringing us both down.  He pulls
out and collapses sideways onto the bed, taking me into his arms.  ‘Always
be mine.’

Perfect.
That’s what we are together, how will I ever replace perfect?

********

‘You
awake, sleeping beauty?’ Nate’s voice brings me around.  I am face down on
the pillow, my head thumping with a mixture of dehydration and lack of sleep,
my body aching like I’ve gone a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson, but at the
same time, I feel deliciously sated. 

‘Am
I alive?’ I croak, he chuckles.

‘It’s
midday,’ he announces, the humour apparent in his tone.  I smell the coffee
and squint an eye up to him leaning over the bed.

‘Seeing
as we have had about an hour sleep, that’s not as bad as it sounds,’ I inform
him.

He
looks as fresh as a daisy, standing in jogging bottoms and a black T-shirt, his
hair dishevelled from sleep and my fingers.   He grins, ‘babe; you
said carte blanche.’

I
smile, ‘fuck if I shouldn’t have said carte blanche, weeks ago,’ I sigh.

He
chuckles, ‘feel free to lengthen your stay,’ his words are said in humour, so I
don’t defend my intended plans. Instead, I roll over onto my back and stare up
at him.

‘It
was good,’ I murmur up with a naughty smile.

‘It
was fucking good,’ he agrees, a glint in his eye.  ‘I decided, the rest of
the week we are drinking Tequila every night,’ he teases.

I
laugh aloud, ‘okay by me,’ I agree.

His
smile fades and his eyes sweep over me, ‘even with what I imagine is a banging
hangover, still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,’ he whispers
down. 

‘Stop
being cute or I’ll drag you back in here,’ I murmur, but inside my chest, my
heart has swelled with love for him, which I realize has hit my gaze when he leans
in, and his eyes mirror what I am feeling, his lips touch mine.

 ‘In
another life,’ he whispers against my lips.

‘In
another life,’ I repeat.

‘I
thought we would shower and have brunch at the diner?’ He sits beside me, and I
cautiously sit up against the wooden headboard.  He hands me some coffee,
and I instantly sip it, eager for it to drip through my veins and have the
healing effect, I desire.

‘Sure,’
I approve.  ‘I thought we would visit the Molly Brown House Museum,’ I
smile, ‘you’ve seen The Titanic, right?’ I tease.

Nate
rolls his eyes, ‘didn’t have you down as a romantic,’ he complains.

‘Neither
did I,’ I tilt my head towards him charmingly, a hopeful smile on my lips.

‘Okay,’
he shakes his head in a defeated gesture. ‘I see anyone I know, I’m gone,’ he
warns.

‘Thanks,
baby,’ I flutter my eyelashes.

‘Shower
first, I waited for you,’ he tempts. ‘I’m ready to give you a proper good
morning,’ he threatens gloriously.

I
grin, ‘insatiable.’

********

The
last few days of our week pass so quickly, mostly we spend them sightseeing,
eating and fucking, not in that order.  If we are in Nate’s loft, we are
usually naked and going at it like rabbits, apart from the times when we are either
eating, or sleeping.  Although, I can’t say there is a lot of sleeping to
be had.

Our
final night together arrives, and the atmosphere instantly alters to one of
dread.  The silences hanging between us, which are normally comfortable,
become increasingly tense, each of us in our own heads of how this is going to
end. 

‘I
thought I would cook for us tonight,’ I suggest to Nate, as he wanders around searching
for his boots in order to run down to the liquor store for a bottle of Tequila.

‘Sure!’
he agrees, without looking in my direction. 

I
watch him, knowing he is fighting a battle between wanting me to stay and
respecting my decision to leave.

‘Nate!’ 
I call.

‘Yeah?’
He responds vaguely, as he sits on the sofa and pulls on his boots, his gaze
avoiding mine.

‘Open
with what we feel, until the last second, remember,’ I prompt him, quietly.

His
hands freeze at his feet, and he turns to look in my direction.  I observe
as he debates his next words, his expression vulnerable.  My heart aches,
and then he says it, ‘I don’t want you to go,’ he states.

‘But,
you understand why I have to, right?’ I ask.

‘Actually,
I don’t!’ He turns back and finishes tying his boots before standing and
sauntering over towards me sitting on the breakfast bar stool.

‘No?’
I repeat, astonishment plain in my voice. ‘We’ve discussed this you know why I
have to go.’

‘Actually,
I don’t.  After the week we have just enjoyed, I don’t understand.  I
never wanted to feel what I do, Sophie. In fact, I was determined never to let
a woman into my heart again,’ I gaze open mouthed at him, stunned by his
honesty.  ‘You want open with our feelings? I’ll tell you.  I’m in
love with you. I want you in my bed. I want to make babies with you.  How
about that for fucking openness?’ He watches as my mouth opens and closes like
a goldfish.

‘But
what about Myers, the drug dealers?’ I finally manage to ask.

‘What
about them? Why should they have any bearing on us being together, London?’ his
lips tighten.  ‘If you felt half as much for me,’ he shakes his head.

‘That’s
not fair,’ I gasp.

‘What’s
not fair is that it should be something we decide to deal with together, a
separate issue entirely,’ he continues.  ‘You are making a life decision
on a problem that could resolve itself in weeks, months, or could already have
been sorted. It’s a cop out.’

I
swallow the melon sized lump in my throat. ‘I am leaving for several reasons,
one of them being to prevent the people I care for being hurt,’ I announce, my
wobbly voice betraying my emotional state.

‘That’s
bullshit!’ He scolds.  ‘You’re scared, London, to give you to anyone. You
prefer to remain alone, untouchable,’ he scoffs.  ‘I am perfectly capable
of taking care of my own family,’ he updates me.  ‘You are running,
running from me.  I get that everyone you have loved has left, one way or
another, but you have to know how I am with you, how we are together, I’m all
in, Sophie, if you gave us a chance, I want forever with you.’

‘You
want forever with me,’ I repeat, the words flying around my head like a puzzle,
I am attempting to link the words together, but they are alien. 

‘I
can see how that has freaked you the fuck out.  I will leave that to you
to contemplate while I get provisions,’ he turns to the loft door.  ‘Don’t
open the door to anyone,’ he warns, stepping out and slamming the door with a
thud.  I jump at the sound, dumbfounded by the sudden swerve of Nate’s
mood.  Not an hour previous, we had been out walking and wandering around
the city, stopping for coffee and a sandwich, arm in arm, totally chilled. 
As soon as we arrived back to the loft, his attitude had altered.

I
move to the window, to watch as Nate mingles into the Denver crowd.  He
loves me, wants babies with me?  How the fuck did that happen?

I
pace up and down the loft, eager for Nate’s return, anxiety curling inside my
gut.  Could I stay?  My life is in London.  Is he right, am I
running not from the drug dealers, but from him? 

By
the time Nate re-enters the loft, I am frantic.

‘What
about all the bad memories of Ollie, Lee Myers?’ I tip my chin up stubbornly as
he places the brown bag gently onto the breakfast bar.  ‘I would
constantly be looking behind me, waiting for it to happen again.’

He
stands and regards me for a moment, a frown on his forehead, ‘what about all
the good memories we have made during the past week?’ He questions quietly, I
stare blankly at him unable to answer.  ‘Do you think you won’t be looking
over your shoulder in London?  Do you think criminals don’t have
passports? I hate to break this to you, babe, but they want you, they will find
you wherever you are.’

‘Nice!’
I explode, ‘that’s great Nate, thank you for that!’ I continue my pacing, my
mind filling with scenarios, which involve me or Nate being captured by drug
dealers.  ‘I am scared,’ I admit.  ‘I’m scared that they will hurt
you, or Ellie, or Marnie,’ I admit, ‘I couldn’t live with myself if I caused
another death,’ I sob, my hand flying to my mouth to catch the grief. 

Nate
is at my side and crushes me to his chest, ‘no one’s going to die, babe,’ he declares,
his voice determined. 

I
push my face into his neck as the shuddering breaths rack through me, ‘I don’t
want to leave you, you think I want to leave you?  I am cursed,’ I mutter
in between hiccups of anguish.

‘You
are not cursed,’ Nate half laughs before announcing. ‘Women die during
childbirth, thankfully not often nowadays, but it happens.  You didn’t
cause your mum’s death, and Ollie brought on his own destiny. Sophie, you are
only in the line of fire because you cared enough to come and find justice for
him.  That makes you a good person in my eyes, babe.  Not someone
who’s cursed.’