Protector's Mate (5 page)

Slivers of moonlight shone through the slat blinds and a glance at the clock told her only a few hours had passed. She should have passed out and slept for days but her mind was too wired. She kept reliving the way Alaric had kissed and stroked her to such exquisite release and wondering what it meant to him.

Now that her mind was clearer, panic started to set in. She wasn’t afraid he’d punish her anymore, but she was afraid of what would happen if—
when,
he’d said—they took the next step. There had been no hesitation in his voice about them sleeping together. He’d been so sure about it and she hadn’t said anything to contradict him. Why would she? She wanted him as much as he seemed to want her and a few hours ago she’d been ready to strip bare and let him inside her.

Her chest constricted as she thought about going to bed with him. She could only imagine how much experience he had with women. The way he’d played her body so expertly was all the proof she needed. Taking a deep breath, she fought the onslaught of dread coming on with the thought about how inadequate she must be in comparison to the woman he’d been with. Feelings she thought she’d buried two years ago when she’d moved away from her pack bubbled to the surface.

What if Alaric saw what everyone else in her old pack saw in her? A weak mongrel whose parents hadn’t cared enough about her to stick around. They’d abandoned her at such a young age she didn’t even remember them.

Alaric might view her as fine to warm his bed but in her heart she knew it would be a temporary arrangement. And she couldn’t stand by only to be pushed to the side once he found someone better. She knew that was what would ultimately happen. It would be torture to live in the same pack and watch him mate with someone else, knowing he hadn’t viewed her as good enough. Absently she rubbed the middle of her chest, hating the familiar ache of loneliness that began to spread.

Over the last couple years she’d made a decent amount of money so at least she could take care of herself. Living as a lone wolf with no pack protection would be hard but that’s basically what she’d been doing her whole life anyway. Even if she joined this new pack, being around Alaric would cloud her judgment.
Clearly.
She’d been ready to let him take her on the kitchen counter barely hours before. Not exactly smart thinking. She needed to get away from him.

Fast.

Easing off the thick comforter , she cringed when the hardwood floor creaked beneath her feet. The next step she took was silent. So were the next and the next. The weight pressing on her chest lifted as she neared the door to her bedroom. Leaving with literally only the clothes on her back sucked, but she’d be able to go shopping soon enough. She just needed to find her wallet and passport and get out of there.

With a clammy hand, she turned the handle. She exhaled in relief when it opened soundlessly. Easing out of the room, she silently pulled it shut.

“Going somewhere?”

She stifled a scream at the deep voice behind her.

Swiveling around, she found Alaric sitting against the wall in the dimly lit hallway. His long legs were stretched out casually, but his gaze was sharp and knowing. She pressed a hand to her chest. Her heart pounded erratically. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“I asked you a question.” In a swift, fluid movement, he stood and towered over her.

The man could move fast.
Her throat seized for a moment. “I was thirsty.”

“Don’t lie to me, she-wolf.” There was an edge to his voice that sent a shiver of alarm curling through her. His eyes smoldered in the muted light, reminding her that he was one hundred percent a predator.

She opened her mouth to lie again but he quickly silenced her with a finger over her lips. “For whatever reason you’re feeling insecure right now, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let you lie to my face.”

Felicia hated that he could sense her unease. Especially since she was trying so hard to hide what she was feeling. “I’m not afraid of you,” she said against his finger. Nervously and out of instinct, she moistened her lips. When she did, her tongue flicked over him. His dark eyes flared with unbridled desire.

She shook her head when she realized he thought she meant it as an invitation, but he didn’t give her time to protest before his mouth covered hers.

His kiss was demanding and raw and made her toes curl. This is exactly what she’d been worried about. All he had to do was kiss her and coherent thought fled. She wanted to let him strip her bare and take everything she had to offer regardless of the consequences. Regardless of the fact that in the end she’d be the one who ended up hurt and alone.

There was just something about him that made her aware of herself in the most feminine way. She’d felt it after their first meeting years ago, but had chalked it up to him being her first crush.

The need and draw she felt to him was exhilarating and strong but also terrifying. She didn’t like the loss of control she experienced around him. Even so, her hands slid up his bare chest and her fingers dug into his shoulders. His muscles flexed under her touch.

As she savored the feel of all that strength under her fingertips his hands fisted tight around her hips and he hoisted her up against the wall.

Without pause she spread her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He growled low in his throat as their tongues intertwined and he pressed her against the wall with his hard body. His cock pressed insistently against her heat. They might have clothes on but she felt so exposed and open to him like this.

The way his tongue flicked and teased hers was almost frenzied. She could feel the intense energy rolling off him. It wrapped around her like a thick blanket, threatening to make her lose all common sense.

Somehow she tore her head back. Panting hard, she stared at him. In the dim light of the hallway everything about him seemed darker. Edgier. The heated look in his eyes was almost enough to make her lose what was left of her willpower.

But not quite. “We need to stop.”

“Why?” he growled.

Since she wasn’t going to admit all her insecurities she said, “Because we barely know each other.”

“My inner wolf knows all it needs to know about you,” he said softly.

Frowning, she started to ask what he meant but he continued. “I know your favorite color is purple and that you have a spine of steel for a shifter so young. Leaving the way you did a couple years ago took guts. I also know that you took a lot of risks while in Afghanistan. Risks you didn’t have to. Going into certain territories and refugee camps when even members of your organization wouldn’t.” There was an underlying note of respect in his voice.

Wondering how he knew that, her scowl deepened but he kept going. “It only took you two and a half years to earn your degree because of how hard you pushed yourself. I also know you hate coffee but love tea. You’re one of the most gifted healers I’ve ever met. It only makes sense you chose a field like nursing. You don’t seem to realize the gift you’ve been given or how much I need you, but you’re a very special wolf.” His voice dropped a notch and her toes actually curled as he said, “I also know that your eyes glitter and your cheeks turn the sweetest shade of pink as you come.”

When he stopped she could only stare at him for a moment. She understood how he knew some of the stuff, like the fact that she hated coffee. It had come up during one of their email conversations. Still, she was surprised he even remembered such an innocuous detail about her. But she didn’t know how he was aware of the times she’d gone into dangerous situations when none of her coworkers would. “How do you know all that?”

“I remember every email we’ve exchanged.” He shifted slightly against her, pressing his erection even harder against her spread legs.

Wetness instantly flooded her core at the not so subtle movement. She fought for control of herself. “Not
that
stuff.”

A wicked grin played across his face. “I know how you look when you come because—”

“Can you please be serious?” If he gave her a play-by-play of what he’d done to her body earlier she’d go up in flames. And something about the glint in his eyes told her he planned to do just that.

The humor left his face and his jaw clenched, but finally he spoke. “I kept tabs on you while you were overseas.”

Her eyebrows rose at his admission. “How…why?”

“I have a lot of government contacts around the world so I called in a few favors and…I needed to know you were safe. It was the only way I could live with any sort of peace knowing you were over there without any pack protection.
My
protection.” His statement was so raw it tugged at her heartstrings.

As a shifter she would have lived through almost any kind of explosion or attack from gunfire but the fact that he’d watched out for her and remembered the small details from their correspondence touched her on a deep level. She remembered all their letters too. The stories he’d told her about his brothers and their life growing up together had made her smile and had given her an insight into his personality. She’d read and reread those letters so many times it was embarrassing—and to know he also remembered what they’d talked about made her knees go weak.

If her legs weren’t still wrapped around his waist, she wasn’t sure they’d have held her up. She wondered if she was all kinds of stupid for what she was about to do, but the insecure voice in her head that she usually listened to was silenced by the sincere, heated look on Alaric’s face.

Felicia was so tired of not being able to trust anyone. Before she could question her decision she leaned forward, letting her lips mesh with his.

His tongue was hot and exploratory as he pushed them away from the wall. She was vaguely aware of him carrying her into the bedroom then just as quickly she was flat on her back and he was on top of her.

Splaying her hands across his chest, she allowed herself the freedom to explore everything she wanted. Digging her fingers into his muscular pecs, she savored the feel of him tensing under her touch. When he growled into her mouth she fought a smile. She loved that she could bring out such a primal reaction from him.

One of his hands cupped her cheek and the other trailed down to her waist until he held her hip in a firm grasp. His hold felt as if he was afraid she’d try to leave. Part of her wondered if she should but she knew deep down that she wasn’t going anywhere. Not now. She was tired of running away from things and tired of not feeling good enough to take what she wanted in life.

Arching her back, she couldn’t hold back a moan as her chest fully met his. The only problem was she had on too many clothes. As if he could read her mind, Alaric grasped the bottom of her sweater and practically tore it off.

Then it was skin on skin.

A shudder flooded through her at the intimate contact. Her nipples were rock hard and pressing against his chest only sensitized them even more. Feeling that strength against her own softness was nearly too much to handle. She felt as if she could literally combust at the hot sensations racing through her. Every single nerve ending tingled as she fantasized about what would happen next.

With the same quickness that he’d discarded her top, her pants seemed to disappear from her body with lightning speed.

Then Alaric was kneeling in front of her naked, splayed body and he was looking at her as if she were an offering for him and all his desires. Desires she had no problem fulfilling.

The dark look in his eyes stunned her. He stared at her with something that almost bordered on reverence. Like she was special and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss or devour her. She couldn’t fully accept the way he looked at her because she wasn’t sure if it was her imagination or if he really needed her that much.

Slowly, his eyes trailed from her face down to her breasts. Her already hard nipples tightened to almost painful points as his gaze lingered there. They were still tingling as he continued a searing path down her stomach until he stopped at the juncture between her spread legs.

No one had ever touched her so intimately until him and even though the thought might have horrified her at one time, she wanted him to kiss her
everywhere
. When he moistened his lips almost absently she knew she was going to get her wish.

Wordlessly, he pressed his large, callused palms to her inner thighs and spread them farther apart. A low rumble came up from somewhere deep inside of him as he bent his head and gently nipped her lower abdomen. Still too high up her body to give her exactly what she wanted. But just enough to drive her crazy. She had no doubt he knew he was torturing her.

Somehow she made herself relax as he began pressing kisses along the top of her mound. When he expertly moved to her inner thighs she couldn’t fight the shudders that racked her. His lips were so close to where she craved them but he was still teasing.

Though she was thankful for the foreplay, a primal part of her wanted him to just take her hard and uninhibited. Even if it was going to be her first time, her most primitive side needed to be able to let the animal inside her free.

And he was intent on taking his sweet time.

Shifting her hips slightly, she tried to force him to give her what she wanted.

His chuckle against the sensitive skin of her thigh sent another shiver through her. “I’ll give you what you want, sweetheart.” His words were whisper soft.

Slowly—so slowly—he dragged his tongue along the length of her wet slit. Unable to control herself, she jerked against his mouth. Her inner walls clenched with the need to be filled by him.

“You’re so wet,” he growled.

“So do something about it.” She wasn’t sure where those words came from but the rough sound he made let her know he was close to losing control.

His hands slightly shook against her thighs as he increased the pressure. Before she could suck in a deep breath and try to ground herself, he began a delicious teasing assault.

As he parted her folds with his tongue, he slowly inserted one finger inside her. The feel of his intrusion made her inner walls clench tight around him. When he began moving in and out in a slow, rhythmic pattern that matched the tempo of his tongue, she clutched the sheets beneath them.