Proud Wolf's Woman (30 page)

“That was a good thing they did for her.”

“Yes,” he said, “but now, too, they are happy grandparents, for her children are their own and are treated as though they are blood relatives. For our people, it is the same thing.”

“I see,” Julia said. “Tell me, Neeheeowee, do you like it amongst the Lakota?”

“Yes, particularly in certain bands of the tribe.”

“With the Minneconjou?” she asked.

He nodded. “It is so.”

Julia glanced at Neeheeowee. “What are their rules of living?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, “let us take a young couple—like us, for instance. Let us say that this young couple stole away to be married. Is there much trouble in the camp if they do this?”

Neeheeowee shrugged, giving her a knowing glance, but he said nothing. After a while he began, “It is always best for the girl if she is bought—that is if a suitor feels strongly enough about her to give horses or other gifts to the parents. A girl must guard her maidenhood well, for if she slips, and the boy throws her away after, the incident is never forgotten. She will never marry. But this rarely happens. Most elopements work out, and the parents and others in the kinship accept the girl’s choice and everyone settles back down to the harmony of their lives. It is more often done in the Lakota camp than in the Cheyenne.”

Julia paused while she mustered her courage, but she could not hold back for long, and finally she asked, “Would we be considered a married couple to the Lakota?”

Neeheeowee sent, her a quick look.
“Hova’ahane,
no,” he said.

“Why would we not?”

“Because,” he said, “I do not consider us married. And there is the difference.”

There was little Julia could say to that, and so, shifting away from Neeheeowee, she gazed out over the landscape.

“It is there, up ahead, only a few hours away.”

“We have arrived so soon?” Julia asked Neeheeowee, who had just this moment dismounted. “I…” Julia looked down at herself, at the travel-weary dress she wore, at the moccasins, caked with dirt and grime. “I would like to freshen up, maybe wash my dress and bathe before we get to their camp.”

Neeheeowee nodded, pointing to a stream that ran nearby. He smiled, then said, “It is so I thought. It is why we have stopped. We will both of us bathe and put on our best clothing before we reach the camp of my Minneconjou friends.”

Julia smiled a relieved “thank-you” to Neeheeowee as she, too, dismounted, bringing her pony and her packhorse close to the stream for grazing, hobbling both.

“They know we are here.”

Julia heard his deep voice and gasped. “They do? You mean the Minneconjou?”

“Haahe,
yes,” Neeheeowee said. “The scouts from the Minneconjou would have reported our party to their camp several days ago. I saw them watching us, and one of them I recognized. They will know it is I who approaches them. They may not know who you are, so I think that your friend, Kristina, will be surprised.”

Julia sent Neeheeowee an acknowledgment with her smile and then glanced up toward him. “Where do you go to bathe?”

He smiled. “I will bathe here, too.”

Julia’s head came up in an instant. “That is not possible.”

He lifted his shoulders. “There is nowhere else.”

“There must be somewhere else. Neeheeowee, you know we cannot bathe in the same area. You know that if you watch me, or if I watch you…there…”

“I do not know anything of what you say. Do you think these last few days that I have not guarded you as you bathe? Do you think I haven’t looked?”

“Yes, I knew you guarded me, but I didn’t know you were watching, too. Now I know. Now I would…it would…I would…I could not do it, Neeheeowee.”

He shrugged. “That is your choice.”

It was the only thing he said before he proceeded to untie his leggings and, finishing the job, threw them off to the side.

Julia watched with something akin to amazement and something else more akin to lust. “Neeheeowee,” she said, “you cannot do this.” Yet, for all her talk, she did not take her gaze from him, not even after he removed his moccasins and began to untie his breechcloth.

“I hear you,” he replied to her. “But I do not think you have it right.
You
seem to be the one who cannot do this.
I
am going to bathe. Do you watch, then?”

“No, I…” Julia stood as though struck dumb. She knew she should move away, or at least turn her head away. She couldn’t, however, do it.

She watched as he removed the breechcloth, drawing in her breath as she beheld the beauty of him, for he stood before her now in nothing save the beaded necklace that she had given him so long ago.

He looked over to her and, upon seeing her heated gaze at him, he grew in size, Julia’s eyes widening in response to it.

“Do you forget your rules?” he asked, bringing Julia’s attention straight up to his face.

She thought she saw him smile, but she couldn’t be certain. “No,” she said, at last. “I do not. I will go up the stream a little way and I will bathe there. I will try not to disturb your bath.”

He grinned. “I would like you to disturb my bath.”

“Neeheeowee!”

“Julia!”

She sighed: “I cannot do it. I resolved to myself—”

He’d taken a step toward her.

“Neeheeowee, you said that you would help me to do this.”

He took another step. “I said I would try.”

“You are not trying.”

“I am.” He suddenly stopped and breathed out loudly. “I find I grow weary of this, and I find I want you, Julia. I want you in my arms, I want you to lie with me in my sleeping robes. I want to feel you next to me when I awaken each morning. I—”

“Neeheeowee!” She had stopped the flow of his words, but she couldn’t stop the damage done to her strength. She yearned for him, and she found herself aching for him in ways that were entirely feminine. But she managed to say, “Marry me, then,” before, with the sweep of her arm, she flung back her hair.

Neeheeowee became sober all at once. “You know I cannot marry you, Julia, but I will promise you that I will love you all of my life.” He closed the gap between them with a quick step and, pulling her in toward him, so very, very gently, he kissed her. “Here,” he said, stepping back from her. He pointed to her heart, resting his hand there. “Here I feel the beating of your heart telling me of your desire for me. So, too, does mine beat. So, too, do I love you. There is nothing more that I can give you but this. But this I give you freely.”

Dark eyes stared down into her own as one slow moment after another passed. “Neeheeowee,” she said at last, “you must know that I love you, too, but without marriage I cannot—”

“Shh,” he said. “I know. I do not fault you for what you do, it is only that I want you. I—”

“Neeheeowee, I can’t. I—”

She had no chance to say more. Neeheeowee had already taken her lips against his as though in coup. His tongue explored her mouth, then left it to trail kisses over her cheeks, her eyes, her brows, back to her lips, over to her ear, down her neck. She was swept up in the excitement of his kiss, and Julia felt herself weakening with the need for fulfillment.

“Julia,” he said, his head coming up for a moment. “Touch me.”

“Neeheeowee, I can’t—”

“I need to feel your hands on me.”

Julia gulped, breathing in his intoxicating scent as she did so. Never had she wanted to do something more in her life. Never had she felt that she couldn’t. Still…

She reached out toward him, toward his engorged shaft. She touched him, gently at first and then with more and more vigor.

She heard his indrawn breath and felt her resolve weakening, her own needs beginning to take precedence over her conscience.

“Neeheeowee, please. I can’t…I…”

He shuddered, and though he moaned, he drew her hand away from him all the same. “Yes, I know,” he said, and pulling her in closely toward him, he rested his chin upon the top of her head. “I know you cannot do this. I know I have tested you too far. And though I may regret it in the days yet to come, I will honor your requests. But know this, Julia, married or not, with me or not, I vow to you that I will love you the rest of my life.”

And with this said, Neeheeowee stepped away from her, turned, and sprinted toward the water, diving in and swimming away with all the vigor of love unrequited.

And Julia, watching him, pondered, if only for a short while, the wisdom of letting him go.

Chapter Seventeen

“Julia!” Kristina called out, and Julia turned her head to catch sight of her friend, waving. Julia laughed, then waved back, finding herself crying back, “Kristina,” despite the fact that there were other people she did not know huddling around her.

“Julia!” Kristina hollered again, and Julia saw her friend hurrying through the crowd. Julia and Neeheeowee had just arrived at the Minneconjou camp minutes ago, there to be met by a group of perhaps fifty to sixty people.

“Kristina!” Julia reached down to grab her friend’s hand as Kristina rushed up to her. Julia bent down, giving her friend a hug. “Oh, how I have missed you.”

Kristina grinned. “And how I have missed you,” Kristina said, keeping step alongside the pony Julia rode, for the animal had never stopped moving. The two friends clasped hands. “I hope you have come to see me,” Kristina said, “Although I’m sure you have news from home, I do hope you have come here with the desire of visiting and enjoying yourself.”

Julia beamed down at her friend. “Yes,”
she said. “I have come here for all those reasons, plus one other.”

“Ma!”
Kristina uttered the Lakota expression. “It probably won’t take me long to discover what that other reason is, especially if the reason is male and is under thirty years of age.”

Julia grinned. “You still know me well, don’t you? I guess some things never change.”

Kristina chuckled. “Come, let me lead you to my lodge. We can let one of the boys in camp take care of your pony while you and I catch up on all the latest news and gossip.”

“Yes,” Julia said. “I would like that.”

“I thought you would,” Kristina said, and, taking hold of the pony’s reins, Kristina set out toward her lodge.

Once there, Kristina called to a small boy and, handing him the pony’s reins, she asked him to care for the animal in her stead. The young boy nodded eagerly and, in the midst of a rush of Lakota words, led the pony away.

“Come inside,” Kristina beckoned Julia, holding up the rawhide covering to the entryway. “I have so many questions for you, I barely know where to start, but let me ask you this one first: However did you run into Neeheeowee again?”

Julia grinned and cast a quick look up toward the heavens. “That is a long story. If you have several days, I might be able to tell it all.”

Kristina nodded. “It is one of those stories, is it? I’m fascinated. Come on in. I’ll make us some coffee.”

“You have coffee?”

Kristina nodded.

“Ah, I’d love some,” Julia said, and bent down to enter the tepee. She looked up, noting at once the interesting array of Indian versus American trade articles strewn throughout the dwelling.

In one corner stood Tahiska’s bow and backrest; in another lay Kristina’s guitar. Hanging from the tepee lining were Tahiska’s quiver and arrows as well as a flower arrangement from Kristina. Over to the right was an Indian cradle board and next to it an actual cradle. It went on and on. Here was Tahiska’s medicine bag, there were Kristina’s cups and saucers.

Julia smiled, her mood lightening to see that Kristina had been able to keep a part of her own culture with her.

“You seem to have made your mark here in Indian society. Tell me, Kristina.” Julia paused. “Has it been difficult to blend the two cultures together?”

Kristina glanced at her friend from over her shoulder. “Not very,” she said. “Tahiska indulges me.”

“I see,” Julia said. “And do you nag him just a little to buy some of these things for you?”

Kristina laughed. “Often,” she said. “Often. But he never seems to mind. He just figures out a way to trade for these things and before I know it, I have them.”

Julia grinned. “I envy you.”

Kristina, two cups of coffee in her hand, came around to sit beside Julia. “Now, I wonder,” she began, “why you would envy me?”

Julia shrugged.

And Kristina leaned forward. “It couldn’t be because of the certain man who brought you here, could it? He didn’t capture you, did he?”

“No!”

Kristina smiled. “That is good. That is one part of Indian culture that I cannot quite condone, although I suppose I can understand it a little. Listen, Julia, it has not been that difficult bridging these two cultures. Every society has something to recommend it, and so it is with Indian society. There are many things that I could teach you that I think you would enjoy. And the life here is very independent, very free. There is much about the Lakota to recommend them. Above all, though, I couldn’t think of being anywhere else but with Tahiska.” Kristina cast a shrewd glance at her friend. “Which reminds me…what
are
you doing with Neeheeowee and why are you dressed in Indian clothing?”

Julia rolled her eyes and grinned. “It is a very long story.”

“Ma!”
Kristina said. “It is good that we have a very long day stretching out before us then, because I will want to hear every single little detail.”

Julia laughed, and, reaching out to take hold of her friend’s hand, she proceeded to tell Kristina everything, right from the beginning.

“And so Kenneth is dead now?”

“Yes,” Julia said. “It was not a good marriage, Kristina. Kenneth was too wound up in himself and his own problems to be a good husband and he was often cruel to me.”

“Oh, I am so sorry.”

Julia shrugged. “I have not mourned him much. Not as much as I should.”

Kristina laid her hand over Julia’s. “I can understand. If I were in your same place, I would not mourn him too much either.”

Julia sighed. She and Kristina had been reclining inside the tepee now for quite some time, talking, gossiping, catching up on the latest news. Julia began to worry that she was keeping Kristina from fixing the evening meal, but when she queried Kristina about it, Kristina waved away her concern, saying that her mother-in-law would see to their supper. “She knows you and I will be talking away most of the day,” Kristina had said. “Don’t worry about it. Tahiska’s mother will enjoy helping us.”