Pulse - Part Two (3 page)

I brace myself when I feel his balls constrict under my touch. I moan deeply as he pumps himself into me, emptying every last drop.

"W
e can't do that again." I adjust the neckline of my dress before I pull one of my heels back on. "I came here to end things."

"We're going to do that again." He kneels to help me put on my other shoe. "You're not ending anything."

"Cassandra cut my hours." I don't see any reason to keep avoiding the subject I came to his office to talk about. "She told me about the money."

He stops and looks up at me and I see something flash over his face that I haven't before. It's softness, kindness, just something that's too fleeting to place. "She was short for a few weeks, so I helped her out."

"There's more to it than that." I step back and slide my hands over the skirt of my dress. "She was depending on you."

"I'll keep helping her if it helps you." The words are genuine. I know that he means them. I know he'd help me too if I asked him. I can't. I came to Manhattan to make it on my own and that's what I'm going to do.

"I've got an interview lined up already." I did. I finally texted Drew back, the man I was talking to at the club before Nathan pulled me away from him. He's a chef at one of the best restaurants in the city and he managed to land me a meeting with someone there for a sous chef's position.

"Where?"

"Just a place." I don't see any reason to go into details about my life. This one night stand had gotten so far out of hand that I couldn't see any way to reel it back in other than walking away. I was getting too emotionally invested in him.

"Jessica. Where?" He pushes my hair away from my shoulders so he can adjust the straps of my dress.

"Axel NY," I say meekly.

"That creep from the club works there, doesn't he?" His eyes scan my face. "You're not working there."

"Excuse me?" I feel instantly assaulted by his words. "He's not a creep and yes, he works there."

"Have you seen him?" he growls. "Have you seen him since that night at the club?"

I still. I stare intently at his face. Is he fucking kidding me? Is he acting territorial over a random guy I saw once at a club who is now helping me find a job? "You're insane."

"I'm what?" He grabs my arms.

"You can't tell me what to do." I pull free of his grasp. "We have sex. Correction, we used to have sex."

"We're more than that." The way he tosses the words so easily at me irks me.

"Are we?" I push back. "Do you still have your fuck pad?"

"My what?" he chuckles as he asks the question.

"Do you still have that suite at the hotel that you take women to when you're going to fuck them?" I tilt my head to the left waiting for an answer that I already know.

"That's irrelevant." He reaches to straighten his tie, the entire time his eyes are locked on me.

"This is irrelevant." I slide my hand in the air between us. "We've gone over this too many times already. You don't own me. You don't control me. You fucked me. Just like you fuck countless other women every month."

"Jessica." My name breezes across his lips just as I walk through his office door.

"W
hat's going on with you and Fingers?" Rebecca stops at the corner to wait for a passing taxi before she steps onto the uneven pavement.

"Nothing," I call over the blare of a car horn. Midday traffic in Manhattan wasn't the perfect backdrop for any conversation, especially not one about the mutual lover I shared with Rebecca's boss.

"You're not sleeping with him anymore?" She tosses me an evil grin and I can't help but giggle.

"That ship has sailed." I mean the words. It's been more than a week since I walked out of Nathan's office. "I deleted his number from my phone and I haven't looked back." I have looked back. I conveniently left out the part about putting him back into my contact list. I know his number by heart. I can’t get it out of my mind.

"Are you fucking Drew?"

I stop mid-step and I'm almost bowled over by a group of tourists heading up Broadway. "What?"

"The guy that got you the interview at the restaurant." She pushes her hand towards me as if the motion will spur me on. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"I didn't realize you knew his name."

"He's hot." She stops to adjust the strap on her shoe. "I never forget a hot guy's name."

"I'm done with men." I push against her trying to help her balance. "I think you need a new strap on that."

"New shoes would be better." She winks. "So are you?"

"Am I what?" I can't follow the conversation. I'm still stuck back where she told me she knew Drew's name.

"Fucking the chef?" She enunciates every syllable, her voice a pitch louder than everyone else on the street.

I pull my hand to my mouth to stifle a loud laugh. "Scream it for the entire city to hear," I tease. "I'm not sleeping with anyone. I'm done with men."

"Famous last words." She scoops her arm through mine as she pulls me across Amsterdam Ave in search of a bistro for lunch.

***

"I
don't even know how I got the job with zero training." I tap on Drew's chest. The two martinis I've had since we arrived at the restaurant are definitely going to my head.

"Hunter loved you." He finishes his glass of beer.

The fact that I got to meet the owner of Axel NY didn't hurt my chances at all. When I mentioned that I had met Ivy, Nathan's friend, his face lit right up. Apparently she was dating Hunter Reynold's cousin. Sometimes, even the smallest connection could make a world of difference in a city like New York.

"I can't believe they offer tuition for culinary school." I almost bounce off the bar stool into Drew's lap.

He nods as he motions to the bartender to bring another round. "That's how I got my training. I worked at another restaurant Hunter's family owns and they paid for everything."

"I'm so excited." I empty the martini sitting in front of me in one small sip.

"It's going to be so fun working together." He laughs as he pulls some bills from his wallet to hand to the bartender. "I think after this round I need to get you home."

"The night is still young." This is the first time in weeks that I've felt happy. I'd start my new job at the restaurant next month, which meant I could quit working for Cassandra right away. I'd finally stop feeling awash with guilt every day I went to her apartment.

"Are you seeing anyone?" The question feels misplaced. This wasn't supposed to be a date. We agreed on the phone that Drew would take me to my interview and then we'd go for a drink afterwards if I got the job. I wasn't interested in anyone after the never-ending one night stand fiasco with Nathan.

"No. Why?" I wince after I ask. Why did I just ask him that?

"Do you want to go out sometime?" He stares straight ahead as he asks the question.

"Are you asking me on a date?" The martini has apparently removed any filter I had. There's nothing like cutting to the chase, Jess.

"I'd like that." He traces a path across my arm with his finger. "You're a lot of fun."

I smile at the compliment. It's so simple and sweet. Just like him. "So are you."

"Let's get you home."

"W
hoever you are, I'm going to kill you for forgetting your key." I swing open the door of the apartment. The incessant knocking started just as I was getting into bed.

"Jessica." Nathan's hand is resting against the door frame, his dark hair falling casually onto his forehead. The jeans and sweater he's wearing don't match the seriousness of his expression.

"How do you know where I live?" I start to push the door shut without thinking. I don't want him here. It's taken every ounce of strength I have not to think about him constantly.

"Is he here?" He pushes past me into the dimly lit room. "Where is he?"

"Bryce?" I stare at him as he shuffles through the apartment, moving quickly from room-to-room. "Why do you want to talk to my roommate?"

"Not him." His gaze pierces through me. "That guy. Drew. Is he here?"

I pull on the sash of my robe to tighten it. "What?" Why is he asking me about Drew?

"He brought you here, didn't he? Where the fuck is he?"

"How do you know that?" I spit out. Drew dropped me off ten minutes ago.

"Did he leave, Jessica?" he says the words slowly as if I'm unable to comprehend them at a normal pace. "Is he coming back?"

I study his face. His eyes are dark and focused and his hair a mess. "Why are you here?" I demand. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Drew?" he pulls on my arm so hard I wince.

"That's not your business." I'm so confused. I don't understand why he's here. Why is he asking about Drew?

"Like hell it's not. You were all over him at the bar."

His words barrel into me.
At the bar.
He saw me with Drew at the bar? "You were spying on me." My voice cracks with the realization.

"I was walking past and saw you through the window." His face flushes.

"No." I take a heavy step back wanting to distance myself. "You followed me."

"Don't flatter yourself." He pulls his hand through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. "I saw you through the window. You were unsteady on your feet so I wanted to make sure you got home safely."

"You watched me with him." I breathe sharply, suddenly feeling faint knowing that he saw me and Drew come into the building together. "You followed me here."

"Where is he?" He pushes again. "He didn't leave through the front door."

"He...he..." I stammer. "He went out the back exit. It's closer to the subway." I point meekly in the direction of the street.

"He's not coming back?" I can hear the relief skirting the edges of the words.

I shake my head.

"Promise me you're not going to sleep with him." His face is emotionless. "Tell me he's never going to have this mouth." His thumb traces a path across my bottom lip. "It's going to kill me if he does."

"You have to stop." I push his hand away. "You can't tell me what to do when you're sleeping with other women. It's not fair. You can't."

"Don't fuck him." His tone is pleading. He pulls me into his chest. "Promise me you won't and I'll give up everyone else."

***

"H
ow many men have fucked this sweet body?" He pulls on my hair from behind, pushing his cock deeper into me. I push my head into the pillows on my bed wanting to skirt the question. I can't talk about other men when I'm so close to the edge of an orgasm.

"This feels so good," I exhale. "So good."

"Tell me, Jessica." He reaches his other hand around so it's resting on my mound. I whimper knowing that he's going to circle my clit with his finger. He's going to push me even closer to the edge. "How many men have been inside of you?"

"I can't." I moan deeply as his fingers glide effortlessly through my wet folds.

"You can't remember?" He pushes his cock deeper into me, filling me fully. "You can't remember how many men have slid into you? Have taken you?"

"Don't." I push back onto him, wanting him to fuck me harder. He's torturing me and he knows it. He's withholding until I answer his question.

"Don't what?" He almost pulls himself entirely out of me. "Don't stop fucking you?"

"No." I cry out as he pulls back harshly, his cock falling from my body. "Nathan, please, just fuck me."

"Tell me." He pulls so hard on my hair that I cry out. "Tell me how many men you've let fuck you."

"No." I won't. I can't let him have this much control. I don't want him to know.

I feel the bed shift behind me and I tremble with a veiled sob. He's going to stop just because I won't tell him how many lovers I've had?

I almost scream when I feel his tongue race over my folds. "You want to come so badly." His voice is loud and commanding. "You're so close. Look how swollen and ripe you are. "

"Yes." I push back on my knees, trying to find his tongue. I need to find it. I need him to suck on my clit until I come.

"Tell me how many men you've let inside this perfect little body." His tongue traces a slow and almost painful path over my clit. It's so light I can barely feel it, but my entire body trembles.

"Lick it, Nathan," I coax. "Just lick it."

"Like this." He laps greedily at my folds before pulling my clit into his mouth. He sucks his cheeks in. The intensity is overwhelming. I feel a rush begin deep within me.

"Like that." I groan.

"Tell me." He pulls back again and my body's left helpless. I'm on fire, aching and so close to coming.

"Three," I whisper. "Three."

"Three," he repeats back as he glides himself fully into me with one swift movement. "Not one of them has fucked you the way I do, have they?"

"God, no," I scream as I grip the pillows tightly in my hand as he pounds his cock into me.

"Tell me how good it feels." His voice is a deep growl. "Tell me how much you like being fucked by me."

I almost come from the words. "So much."

"Jessica." He leans over me, his lips trailing a path down my neck.

"So good," I cry out as I feel my body tense with pleasure.

"So fucking good." He pumps himself harder into me before he screams my name.

"J
ust so we're clear, Jessica." He pulls the sweater over his head. "You're not going to hang out at bars with random men anymore."

"Just so we're clear, Nathan." I mimic back, tucking the blanket from my bed around me. "You're the one who hangs out at bars picking up random women."

"Touché." He dips his chin in my direction. "I'm willing to give that up for you."

"You'll forgive me if I doubt that's real." I pull a thin smile across my face.

"You can ask me if you want." He buttons his jeans before he pushes his feet back into the leather loafers.

"Ask you what?"

"How many lovers I've had." He sits on the edge of the bed.

"I don't think my brain can process a number that high," I tease, even though the thought pulls my stomach into a tumbleweed of knots. It has to be in the hundreds. Maybe it's even in the thousands.