Purity (Pure and Tainted) (32 page)

Chapter Twenty-three

K steered the Purist ship she’d stolen from the Erian royal docks
out of orbit and straight for Midas. She wasn’t the least bit afraid of being
discovered—the emo-dampers being pumped into her by her suit took care of any
kind of irrational fear she might be tempted to feel.

Well,
most
of it anyway.

Because, deep down in the pit of
her stomach, K still felt a twinge of unease.
And for some reason, whenever she
thought of Boone, her throat got tight and her eyes stung.

It’s just because my suit isn’t
fully healed yet,
she
told herself uneasily. Or maybe it was because the suit had been calibrated to
her body before the hormone surge she’d experienced.
Before
she had changed so drastically.

She looked down at herself, frowning at her breasts and hips under
the suit’s black webbing. She had taken some strips of cloth and bound them
around her chest to try and contain her curves but there was no disguising the
fact that she was no longer the flat, sexless creature she’d been when last
she’d worn the suit.

It doesn’t matter,
K told herself.
I’ll be in and out before anyone has time to
notice. And I’ll be wearing my cowl the entire time to hide my eyes and face—no
one will even know it’s me.
She hoped, anyway. She assumed that by this time,
she and her entire purge squadron would have been declared dead. Hopefully she
could simply dock on Midas, extract Boone’s little sister, and walk out again
with complete anonymity.

And then what?

Then I’ll drop her off on Colossus
and…
but there K’s
thoughts ended. She ought to purge herself when her mission was done but
somehow even with the suit on, she didn’t want to do that.
I suppose I could join the Tainted,
she thought doubtfully. The
idea, once so repulsive to her, was gaining some appeal in her mind. She liked
the idea of being with others who valued cold logic over emotion. After all,
she’d allowed herself the luxury of feeling and look where it had gotten
her—she’d allowed herself to have feelings for Boone and he’d disappointed her,
abandoned her when she needed him most.

That’s not fair,
whispered a little voice in the
back of her head.
He said he just wanted
you to be safe because he loved you. There was nothing he could do for you to
stop your cycle—not without more time to work on the problem.

Well, he could have all the time he wanted now—time without her. K
was determined never to see him again, not because she was angry—even with her
stomach twisted in knots, she refused to believe she could feel such a strong
emotion while wearing her suit. No, she would never see Boone again because she
could never take the suit off for the rest of her life. It was the only thing
controlling her hormone surge—holding her back from becoming a sexual beast of
prey. She couldn’t put Boone in danger like that. As hard as it was to admit,
she still cared for him. Still…loved him? K still didn’t know what that meant
and now she would never get to find out.

Never
again.
I’ll never see him again.

The thought brought an abrupt stab of agony—like someone twisting
a knife in her guts. K gasped and doubled over, a hand going to her flat
midsection. What the hell was happening? Was her body rejecting the suit? Was
she in danger because of the abrupt interruption of her cycle as Boone had
feared?

“I’m fine,” K said out loud. She forced herself to stand upright,
ignoring the stabbing pain in her gut and the way her muscles trembled and
clenched. So what if she was having a reaction to her skinsuit? Who cared if it
killed her? K didn’t. Though she didn’t want to purge herself, she wasn’t
afraid to die. All she wanted was to complete this one mission, to bring Boone’s
little sister to safety. And after that…

“If I die, I die,” she muttered through clenched teeth. She stared
at the ship’s controls, trying to focus on her mission. Even with the
hyperdrive engaged, Midas was a few days journey away. She wished she could
make the trip faster but there was no way. She would have to endure the
pain…and the recurring thoughts of Boone.

K didn’t know which was worse—the physical agony from her suit or
the emotional anguish of knowing she would never see the man she’d allowed
herself to care for again.

* * * * *

“Are you
sure
she was
going after Shayla?” Loki demanded for what had to be the hundred and twelfth
time since they had finally gotten off Eros.

“Positive,” Boone growled, looking up from his physioscope. “Look,
can you just pilot the ship and leave me the hell alone? I’m trying to
concentrate here and we’re already running behind thanks to the Empress
sweating us for so long.”

“At least she let you go,” Rolf offered. Loki’s new touch partner
refused to be parted from the other Erian for any reason. Boone had reluctantly
agreed to take the man along although he felt sure Rolf would just be dead
weight. And he might end up just plain dead—they all might. Boone still had no
idea what he was going to do. He only knew he had to find K and Shayla,
hopefully while both of them were still alive.

“Yes, she let us go all right, but only after Boone here had made
it apparent that Princess Paladin had humped him and dumped him,” Loki said. “
Which is why we’re taking evasive maneuvers now to throw off any
tails.
” He looked at his instruments. “Not that it looks like we have
any. The Empress must have bought the love ‘em and leave ‘em routine K pulled
pretty well.”

“Poor Boone.”
Mom, who had been standing
silently at the NavCom, put a consoling hand on his elbow.

“I’m fine,” Boone gritted out, repressing the urge to shake her
hand off. After all, she was only trying to comfort him. “But K
won’t
be unless we can find her soon. I
don’t like to think of what that damn suit might be doing to her.”

“I think we’ve gone far enough out of our way to throw the Empress
off our scent,” Mom said, going back to the NavCom. “Should I set a course for
Midas now?”

“Yes, although the Goddess only knows what we’re going to do once
we get there,” Loki muttered. “How the hell we’re going to get into a whole
nest of Purists when Boone’s pet Paladin has flown the coupe is beyond me.”

“Wait—we’re going to Midas?” Rolf looked surprised and a little
worried.
“Seriously?”

Boone blew out a breath in frustration.
“Yes,
we’re going to Midas where my sister is being held and where
we believe K has gone to rescue her. Haven’t you been listening this whole
time?”

“I was distracted.” Rolf ran one hand lovingly over Loki’s narrow
shoulders. “So anyway, what’s the plan? How do we get in?”

Loki shook his head. “Don’t know, lover boy. I guess we’re just
going to fly to the fringes of Purist air space and hope we see K before the
friendly neighborhood purge squad blasts us out of the sky.”

“Oh, okay.” Rolf shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “Let me know if
there’s anything I can do to help.”

“And how exactly are you going to help?” Boone growled, unable to
stop himself.
“Unless you’re planning to keep Loki happy
right up until the bitter end, that is.
I really can’t imagine any other
function you could possibly serve aboard this ship.”

“Boone…” Loki frowned at him. “Come on, big boy—no need to go into
total bitch mode on my new man.”

“Sorry,” Boone muttered. “I’m just worried.”

“We all are,” Mom said softly. “It’s natural.”

“It’s okay,” Rolf said, obviously not offended. “I know it’s a
stressful situation and I don’t know anything about piloting a ship or whatever
else it is you’re, uh, doing…” He gestured to the delicate array of instruments
Boone had spread out before him. “But I do know some people. So you know…”

“Yeah, sure,” Boone muttered. “I’ll keep it in mind.” He had no
idea what Loki’s new boy toy was talking about and he didn’t care. All he could
think about was K and Shayla…but mostly K. With the suit interrupting her
cycle, the chemical suppressants fighting with the hormone surges, she could be
in dire straights right now. If he couldn’t find a way to help her…but he
didn’t let himself think about that. Instead, he gathered up some of the larger
pieces of equipment and headed for his room.

“Hey, where are you going?” Loki called. “I thought you wanted to
be up here with me so you could get any updates immediately.”

“Call me if you find something…or someone,” Boone instructed. “I
was wrong—I can’t work in here. I need some peace and quiet.”

“Will do, big boy.”
Loki sketched a little salute.
“Have fun.”

“Right.”
Fun was the last thing on Boone’s
mind. The only thing he wanted was to have something to help K when they found
her…
if
they found her in time.

Chapter Twenty-four

“Purist ship nine-one-seven-seven dash fourteen-M requesting a
docking position,” K said through gritted teeth into the comlink. The stabbing
pains in her lower abdomen and pelvis were getting worse as her suit tried to
contain and control the hormonal surges of her cycle. Days of the grinding,
stabbing pain had worn her down but she refused to take it off or to give in to
the agony that wanted to consume her.

I can take it,
she told herself sternly.
I’ve had worse. I just have to see this
mission to its completion and then I can end it if I have to.
If there’s no other way…

Honestly, death was beginning to seem like a viable option. The
pain had been unremitting through her entire journey to Midas and it seemed to
be getting worse. K had caught herself thinking several times it would be
better to purge herself than to live with this level of suffering anymore. But
she had business to attend to first.

“Fourteen-M?”
The person in the control tower
sounded like he might be frowning. “That is an older class of ship. Where did
you come from?”

“Long range maneuvers in the Nirobian sector,” K rapped back.
“Docking position?”

Her stern, no-nonsense tone seemed to decide the controller.

“You can dock in Q
quadrant,
row
thirteen, behind the control area.”

“Agreed,” K said, striving to keep her voice neutral. The berth he
had assigned her meant she would have to go through the control area to get to
the mines—not optimal. But she couldn’t think of a good enough reason to ask
for a spot right beside the mines, not when she was in so much pain it was
difficult to even stay upright. She would just have to manage. Hopefully she
could walk through with her cowl on and no one would question her.

She docked in slot thirteen and took a few minutes to set a return
course into the ship’s autopilot. She didn’t want to waste a minute getting out
of here or have to think about navigation if things went wrong. All she would
have to do was flip the engage switch and the stolen Purist ship would be up
and away—headed for orbit around Colossus the minute the hyperdrive came
online.

Satisfied with her preparations, K forced herself to stand
upright. Invisible spikes dug into her lower abdomen but she ignored them and
straightened her shoulders. Then she touched the pressure tab behind her right
ear. Immediately the cowl of her skinsuit slid down, obscuring her face and
hiding the damning evidence of her gold ringed eyes which days in the skinsuit
had been unable to change back to black. No one seeing those eyes could mistake
her for anything but Erian but K didn’t intend for anyone to see them. She was
keeping the cowl in place the entire time, going in hard and fast and leaving
the same way.

She checked herself for hidden weapons—a few sharp blades stashed
in various places around her suit—and wished for her plasma gauntlets. They
were gone, however—left back on board Boone’s ship. Even if she’d had them, she
couldn’t have used them. Her mind was far too chaotic
now,
she would never be able to control them again. Well, she didn’t intend to blast
her way out, anyway. If things went according to plan, she would slip in and
then slip back out again with Shayla in tow, completely unnoticed.

“Time to go,”
she
muttered under her breath. Sensing her readiness for combat, her skinsuit dug
its needles into her arms and K waited for the cool wash of nothingness that
always followed. It didn’t come. Either she was too far gone into contamination
to ever commune with Purity again or her suit simply couldn’t cope with her
body’s changing needs. Whichever it was, it was clear K was
on
her own
.

Taking a deep breath, she hit the hatch release and stepped out
into the frigid Midas atmosphere. The pshalite-rich planetoid was at the far
end of the solar system’s temperate zone, ensuring that it was always freezing.
In the past, K’s suit would have protected her from the worst of the chill or
else injected her with enough blockers and dampers to keep her from caring that
she was cold. But now she felt every icy gust of wind as it swirled around her,
bring the distinctive spicy tang of pshalite to her nose even through her cowl.

Keeping her head high, she marched forward, refusing to shiver or
wrap her arms around herself. Purity but she wished her suit’s chemicals still
worked on her! It was harder than she’d
thought,
pretending to be what she once was when all she wanted to do was curl on her
side and give in to the pain.

I will not give in,
K told herself grimly.
I am still a fourth level Paladin—I fear
nothing, I feel nothing.
Lifting her chin, she strode up to the command
center door and waited for it to scan her suit’s internal sensors and let her
in.

There was a long pause as though the door was having trouble
reading her suit—long enough for the armed guard to look at her appraisingly. K
couldn’t see his eyes—they were hidden by the eyeshades built into his sleek
silver helmet. But his finger stroked lightly over the trigger of his blaster
as he watched her.

K had a moment of panic which she repressed sternly. She forced
herself to stand steady and still, completely immobile and yet relaxed,
seemingly at ease, portraying a Paladin’s infinite patience when faced with
adversity. At last, the vast, thick metal panel, which was twice as high as she
was tall, slid to one side, granting her entry.

The guard on duty waved her through with a nod. K ignored the
gesture and stalked inside, listening as the door slid shut with a muffled
booming clang behind her.

Inside she paused in the small dark entryway that led to the main
corridor and allowed
herself
a single deep breath. It
was warmer in the control center and she was out of the biting wind but this
was the most dangerous part of her journey. She had to walk through the large
center to the mines, hoping all of the officers and higher ranking officials
who lived and worked on Midas wouldn’t notice or question her. Once out in the
mines, K was confident she could find Shayla—she’d seen Boone’s holo-picture of
her often enough she was certain she could recognize her easily. It was getting
through the control center that worried her.

You’re wasting time. Get on with
it!

Squaring her shoulders, she stepped out into the busy main
corridor. Striding confidently, she fell in line behind two minor officials who
were speaking some kind of corporate finance jargon. To her left, several
higher ranking officials passed by and then a pair of Sage-kind—the priests of
Purity—swept past, their long black robes trailing.
A
squadron of Paladins, all wearing skinsuits jogged by in the opposite
direction.
K’s heart seemed to catch in her chest but still she kept on
walking.

Everywhere she saw black-on-black eyes and heard the quiet,
emotionless speech of those fully devoted to Purity. In the past she would have
thought nothing of it. Now her heart ached at the familiar sights and sounds.

I don’t belong here anymore,
she thought as she strode briskly
along, head up and shoulders back.
Maybe
I never did.
She remembered waking up in Boone’s arms and falling asleep
beside him, remembered hearing his voice in her ear low and soothing saying he
loved her, remembered feeling warm and comforted and safe. She had traded all
this—the life of a rising Paladin—for those few, brief days, for those tender,
forbidden emotions.

K couldn’t bring herself to regret it.

Boone,
she thought as she marched along,
just another faceless, anonymous part of the crowd where she no longer
belonged,
Boone, I’ll do my best for you.
I’ll get Shayla back to you even if it kills me.

A sharp turn off the main corridor brought her to the entrance of
the mines. They were deep underground, reachable only by a pneumatic lift at
the end of the short hallway. K pressed the button for the ground floor and
stepped aboard. She was relieved to be the only passenger—the moment alone in
the lift gave her a brief respite from her façade.

Slumping in the corner, she put a hand to her abdomen. Purity but
it hurt! While she had been out in the crowded corridor, passing as one of the
many Purists going back and forth, she’d been able to mostly ignore the pain.
Now it came back with a vengeance, reminding her that the war between her suit
and her hormones was most likely tearing her body apart from the inside out.

It doesn’t matter,
K told herself, trying to believe
it.
Doesn’t matter if it hurts—just
get
the job done. Just finish and then…

Then she could die.

The lift landed and the door opened with a muted chime. K
straightened up and forced herself to step into the dark subterranean tunnel
that greeted her. A gust of chilly, spice-laden air swirled around her. Just a
little further—she could make it just a little further, she was sure.

The tunnels twisted and turned in ways she hadn’t expected. She’d
been to Midas before but only to refuel and drop off prisoners. There had never
been any reason for her to go down into the mines—there really wasn’t any reason
for
any
Paladin to be down here. K
held her breath, hoping none of the black uniformed guards would ask her
business. Some of them did look at her—their faces blank and immutable, their
eyes hidden behind their black eyeshades—but she wasn’t stopped. K was thankful
she outranked them all. The guards knew it might mean trouble to question her
so they let her pass.

K walked confidently, scanning the miserable, dirty faces of the
slaves as she went. She was responsible for putting a good number of them down
here. She felt a twinge of shame as she remembered all the raids she’d been on,
all the captives she and her squad had delivered to the mines. But there was no
time for regret—she had to find Shayla and fast. The pain she’d been enduring
for days was sapping her strength. She didn’t think she could search all the
many winding, twisting miles of tunnels for hours on end—she simply didn’t have
the energy reserves to do it.

She rounded another corner just as a particularly sharp cramp
stabbed at her. K winced and was forced to grab a wall for support. Despite all
she could do to hold it back, a soft cry of anguish escaped her. Immediately,
one of the uniformed guards was at her shoulder.

“Paladin?
Are you well?” His voice was
surprisingly concerned and despite his black eyeshades his face looked worried.
It also looked strangely familiar.

K shook her head. “It’s nothing. I stumbled.”

“If you need assistance…” He held a hand out to her and then drew
it back quickly, as though suddenly aware of the impropriety of his gesture.
“Forgive me, I—”

“Apologies are unnecessary.” K straightened up, ignoring the
burning, stabbing pain in her abdomen. His hastily withdrawn hand bothered
her—jogged a memory she’d almost forgotten. Who else had approached her in such
a way? Who—?

Suddenly the face she’d been looking for appeared over his
shoulder. It was grimy and wretched and the blonde hair was cut short and
ragged around a too-thin face but there could be no mistaking who it belonged
to.

Shayla!

K forgot about the strange behavior of the guard,
forgot—momentarily—about the pain in her gut. She stepped around him and
beckoned to the female who was staring at her fearfully.

“Prisoner, come with me,” she directed in a low, commanding tone.

“What? Why?” Shayla shrank back from her. Like Boone, she was a
giant and she had a good head on K in height. Still, she managed to make
herself look small as she crouched against the rough stone wall.

“Why does not concern you,” K said sternly. “You are to come with
me
now.”

She marched forward and grabbed the girl by her ragged shirt,
being careful not to touch skin even though her skinsuit covered her hands. She
was no longer as horrified of contamination as she had been but no true Purist
would voluntarily touch another being if they could help it.

“What’s this about?” The guard who had offered to help her up was
frowning now.

“Prisoner transfer,” K replied shortly.

“Where are you taking her?” He stepped up to block her path.

K was beginning to feel desperate. The pain was back, stabbing
into her like rusty knives. She didn’t have the strength to deal with this now.

“She is being moved by order of the High Sentinel,” she said,
having a sudden inspiration. “Would you care to take it up with him?”

“No.” The guard abruptly fell back.
“My
apologies.”

“None needed.” K yanked on Shayla’s shirt. “Come.”

The girl followed her, seeming numb with fear and misery. K was
relieved that Shayla wasn’t putting up a fight. In her weakened condition, she
didn’t think she could have managed a rebellious prisoner.

They rode up the lift in silence and K pressed a hand to her
abdomen, trying not to cry out again. She couldn’t let Shayla sense any
weakness in her—not while she still thought K was an agent of the enemy. Once
they got aboard the ship and were out of Purist air space, she could collapse
and let the autopilot do its work. In the mean time, she had to stay strong for
just a little longer…