Purpose (16 page)

He stroked my cheek and brushed my hair back.
“They told me so many different lies…you found someone else, they’d
killed you, you’d killed yourself. But I just had to hang on anyway
and if any of it were true, I would die at my own hand, not
theirs.”

“Tristan…don’t ever say…” I shook my head. I
told myself such talk didn’t matter because none of what they’d
told him was true. “I
never
gave up on you. I never have and
never will stop loving you. I am yours. You and me together
forever. Nothing can change that.”

“You don’t know how good it is to hear
that.”

He kissed me on the mouth again and our lips
moved together with a desperate longing built over seven-and-a-half
years. His tangy-sweetness filled my mouth and I didn’t think I
could ever get enough of the delicious taste. My body wanted to
melt into his and I needed to feel his skin next to mine. I tugged
his shirt off and pressed tightly against him, kissing his shoulder
and neck. I felt the scars on his back, rigid under my fingertips.
My heart contracted again. He pulled away and rolled onto his back,
sighing heavily.

I turned onto my stomach so I could see his
face, being careful, but the condition of my ribs had already
improved. His eyes were closed and he breathed deeply for control.
I studied his face, every inch, from the perfectly angled eyebrows
and the long, dark lashes lying against his high cheekbones to the
straight nose, full lips and square chin. Even with the scars, no
creature on Earth was as beautiful as him.

And then I saw the mangled Amadis mark.

“
Tristan!
What did they
do
?”

Thick, nasty scars covered the whole left
side of his chest, curving and twisting, as if snakes bored and
tangled under his skin. I gingerly slid my fingertips along the
gnarled ridges. Something about them made my stomach clench with
the sick feeling of hatred and malevolence. He clasped his hand
down on mine and held my palm against his chest.

“What did they
not
do?” he muttered,
staring at the ceiling. “First, they tried torture, trying to force
me to change my loyalty back to them. Physical torture, emotional,
mental…they did all kinds of unimaginable things. But I refused.
Nothing—no amount of pain or misery—could pull me away from you.
Then they tried to bribe me with power and control over everything,
over the world. When I still rejected them, they tried to kill me,
using every technique possible. But they couldn’t do it. I refused
to die at their hands. They finally decided cutting my heart out
would be the only way to kill me.”

I gasped as my own heart nearly broke again
and my stomach rolled with nausea. He continued staring at the
ceiling, his hand still clamped on mine, over his heart, and the
electric current flowed between us. I felt so helpless, wanting to
do something for him.

“They couldn’t even take my heart, though,”
he continued. “Regardless of what kind of instrument or weapon
covered with a variety of poisons and spells they tried to use, the
skin immediately healed up right behind it. Their dark magic left
scars, but they couldn’t get any deeper than the skin.” He finally
looked at me, his eyes moist and filled with a mixture of pain,
appreciation and love. “See…
you
already had my heart.”

My free hand flew to my mouth as the breath
caught in my throat. I stared at him wide-eyed, more tears
falling.

He closed his eyes again and pressed my hand
harder against his chest. “I can feel your power. It feels
good
.”

I collapsed against him and cried into his
chest.
How could I have been so angry and selfish?

“I’m so
sorry
,” I wailed between
sobs.

“Sorry? You saved me, Alexis. You
protected
me.” He tried to pull me closer but I resisted,
shifting so I could look him in the eye.

“I behaved horribly. Really,
really
horribly,” I admitted. “I felt such anger toward you for leaving
me, never really thinking about what you may have been going
through. I only knew my own pain and it was nothing…nothing
compared to…to…”

I choked on the thought of what he’d endured
and buried my face back into his chest, wishing I could crawl into
some dark hole and never have to show my face again. Or to be
pummeled with stones or tarred and feathered or lashed with a vine
whip. I deserved to be tortured by all means possible and still
everything combined wouldn’t compare to what he’d gone through.

“I honestly hope it wasn’t ‘nothing.’ I hoped
you missed me at least half as much as I missed you. I hung onto
that hope.” He kissed the top of my head as I continued crying into
his chest. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. I
know seven years is a long time for you. You had every right to
hurt and feel angry.”

“I did miss you so much. And it was so long,”
I blubbered. “I even thought I started to forget your face, my
memory fading, and with everything else going on, I thought I was
losing my mind. I tried so hard to hang on to you, I started
hallucinating that I saw you and heard you.”

He shifted under me. “Mmm. You mean
recently?”

I stopped crying. “Yeah. Why?”

“You weren’t hallucinating, my love.”

I inhaled sharply as my head snapped up. My
eyes narrowed. “That
was
you? In the backyard, at the park,
in Key West?”

He nodded. I didn’t know whether to be
grateful that I hadn’t been quite as crazy as I’d thought or angry
that he’d been back for over a week, letting my insanity get the
best of me. If I hadn’t been so happy to be in his arms again,
anger would have definitely won.

“Why would you
do
that to me?” I
breathed, pushing away from him. “How could you be here for so long
and not come to me? Why would you let me go through all that?”

“Please don’t be angry.” He pulled me back
into his arms. I let him, wanting to release the bitterness and
animosity for good. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I wanted to go
straight to you and finally hold you. But I had to test myself all
over again. I’m still not sure what their magic may have done to my
subconscious. Seven years doesn’t feel as long to me, so I could
wait a few more days. Ensuring I had control was worth the delay.
Unbearable but necessary.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have let you see
me, but sometimes I just couldn’t bring myself to flash. I wanted
you to run to me, into my arms. And then you gave me a real scare
the other morning in Key West. They watched too closely, or I would
have just taken you then.”

“That Daemoni who chased me…,” I
whispered.

“I distracted him away from you. He was weak
and my presence was enough to scare him away. He may have known
Owen approached, too. As soon as I sensed Owen coming and knew
you’d be okay, I took off, still not sure if I was ready yet.”

“So…do you want to kill me?” I whispered.

“
I
don’t. But, I don’t know what’s
inside, what they’ve done. We’ll need to be careful again.”

The corners of his lips tugged in a sad smile
and my shoulders sank with disappointment. We’d fought and won this
battle so many years ago, but it had taken much time and
patience.

“Do you want to kill me?” he asked.

I looked up at him in surprise. “
What
?
Why would I want to do that?”

“I can feel the power building in you.” He
placed my hand back over his heart.

“I would never want to
kill
you.
Amadis
love
. We save, not kill.”

“You don’t know what that power will make you
want to do. And we won’t know until you change over and have
received the full force.” He studied my face and lifted my hair
away from my shoulder, twirling a lock around his finger. “And I
know you’re changing, Lex. I can see it. You look completely
different than you did a week ago.”

I groaned. “I can’t believe you saw me like
that.”

“You’d been through a lot, my love. And you
were incredibly beautiful to me.” He smiled and winked. I’d
forgotten the brain-fog that blanketed my mind when he winked and I
welcomed it, gazing at him stupidly. He laughed. “I missed that
look.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You like it when I
look like an idiot?”

He laughed again. I loved the sound. “You
don’t look like an idiot. You get this look like you adore me, like
I’m the only person in your world. And I love that.”

“Really? Well, I
do
adore you.” I
kissed him. And I couldn’t control myself. I wanted him so badly.
Needed
him. And I needed to show him how much I missed him.
How much I loved him and wanted him. How happy I felt to have him
back. Kissing just wasn’t enough to communicate all of my emotions.
I needed to feel him, every inch of him, inside and out. My hands
locked against his face as my body ground against his.

“Slow and careful,” he murmured, pulling my
hands from his face and gently pushing me back. The fire in his
eyes looked controlled. I knew the look. Whatever happened to him
over the years, he
was
my Tristan and he still loved me. I
trusted he wouldn’t do anything to me.

“You underestimate yourself,” I muttered.

“Maybe. But I’m not taking any chances.”

“I’m stronger now. And if you hurt me, I’ll
just heal.”

“You know it’s not about just hurting you. We
know we can handle that. Remember?” The gold flecks in his eyes
sparkled as he remembered our honeymoon and our few times together.
We’d both had bruises from the supernatural force of our passion,
even in the beginning, when I was relatively normal. I couldn’t
help but smile. And want him even more.

“I was ready to die last night anyway,” I
said with a shrug. “At least now it’d be while making love to you
one last time.”

He glared at me. “That’s not funny.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’ve waited too long to see you and hold you
again for it to come to such a gruesome ending,” he said, making an
effort to keep the mood light. He took my hand and kissed the tips
of each of my fingers, then my engagement ring. He lifted the
pendant off my chest and noticed the key still hanging there.

“You really waited,” he murmured.

“Of course.”

“Lucas said they’d convinced you I was
dead.”

I shuddered at the thought, then shook my
head. “The only news I ever heard was just a couple days ago. A
video sent to convince me…but I just couldn’t believe it. I knew I
still needed to hang onto the hope for you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered as he let go of the
pendant, his fingers brushing lightly against my neck.

“Did a vampire really bite me?” I asked, his
touch on my throat reminding me.

His face went dark and he frowned. “I’m sorry
I didn’t get there in time.”

“You were
just
in time.” I remembered
the blonde bending over, her mouth at my throat, and shuddered. “So
how come I’m not a vampire now?”

“You have Amadis blood
and
Daemoni
blood. Vampires are nothing compared to that combination. Besides,
it takes more than just a bite.”

“Oh.” I shivered, remembering the hatred I’d
felt for the blonde. “Who is she?”

Tristan grunted. “Do we really have to talk
about her?”

“You don’t want to tell me.” It wasn’t a
question. History apparently existed between them, history he
didn’t want me to know about. Possibly even recent history. My
heart shrunk at the thought.
Did he faithfully wait for me as I
had for him? Did he have a choice?
These were unknowns I wasn’t
sure I wanted the answers to. I just wanted to be happy he came
back to
my
side—that he wanted to be here with
me
and
nowhere else. But still…

He rolled over on his side and sighed heavily
with resignation.
Here it comes
. “Vanessa is just a spoiled
brat who somehow got the idea in her head a long time ago that she
and I should be together and she won’t give up.”

My throat worked overtime as I tried to
swallow the disappointment. “So you and her…?”

He lifted my chin with his thumb to look into
my eyes. “
Never
.”

I blew out a sigh of relief. I hadn’t even
realized I held my breath.

“She doesn’t seem to think so. And she
certainly doesn’t like me.”

He chuckled. “She’s used to getting
everything she wants and doesn’t like to be told no. I’ve told her
‘no’ many times. In fact, given the choice, you are my only
‘yes.’”

“So no others I should be worried about?”

“I don’t think so.”

My stomach rolled. “You don’t
think
so?”

His voice came soft and low. “Alexis, I’ve
been around a long time. You know I had a past, but no one else has
pursued me anything like Vanessa.”

I bit my lower lip and nodded. “So no one…”
My breath hitched as I forced the words out. “…more recently?”

He braced my face in his hands. “Absolutely
not. Only you, my love.
You
have my heart, my soul…my
everything. I would have let them kill me before betraying my love
for you.”

I searched his eyes and only saw sincerity.
And deep-rooted, soul-bound love.

Feeling guilty for even doubting him, I
cupped my hand around his face and brushed my thumb over his cheek.
“I love you, my sweet Tristan.”

“And I love only you,
ma lykita
.
Always.”

“I remembered her from a long time ago, when
she and the others attacked me before we moved to Florida….” That
whole night came back to me with perfect clarity and I remembered
being attacked with a certainty I’d never had about it before. I
had been right. I hadn’t mixed up the details or confused the real
events with a dream, as I had thought…as Mom had made me believe.
There
had
been a witch and a werewolf and Vanessa the
vampire.... “Holy hell! That was you and Owen who saved me!”