Purpose (33 page)

I continued running toward him as Dorian
struggled in his clutch. Rina and Mom spoke of love, life and
goodness…all those things I believed in so strongly. But I had to
ignore them. Something told me that if I went to them, I would lose
Dorian forever.

“That’s right,” the man said, as if reading
my mind. “Come with us and you can have those most important to
you.”

Tristan suddenly appeared on his knees, in
front of the man. He struggled, too, as if bound by something
unseen.

“No, Alexis! Come back to us,” Mom cried
out.

“That’s it, young one, come to us. We’ll take
care of you. You’ll have it all,” the man taunted.

Though I kept running, I never reached them.
It was like those dreams, where you keep running and running toward
a door at the end of a hall, but the hallway grows longer with each
step, so you never make it. I glanced over my shoulder. The snow
had crept more than half-way to the other mountain. Mom and Rina
stood their ground, though, waving their hands, trying to push
warmth toward me. I felt just a slight movement of air. Their power
was not enough.

“They’re pathetic,” the man said. “They can’t
stand up to us. You’re making the right decision. The best
decision.”

Dorian and Tristan stopped struggling. In
fact, now they suddenly seemed to be perfectly fine, happy even, on
that side, smiling and waving me toward them.
It can’t be that
bad. It’s the best decision
. I had no problem believing this to
be true. I saw a glorious life with the three of us together, safe,
because no one hunted us now. They already had us. Why had that
seemed like such a bad thing before? Knowing they had us and what
we could do for them, they would treat us like royalty. We wouldn’t
be prisoners. They wouldn’t even care about another daughter. We
could live life the way we wanted, spending our days together doing
whatever we felt like. No more fear. No running from danger. If we
were with them, we would have peace. We would be together forever.
We would be happy. Everything I ever wanted. It made all the sense
in the world. Right?

Then another figure appeared next to the man.
This one made my blood turn to ice. For the first time since
arriving in the strange field, I felt cold. Freezing. And
hateful.

Vanessa.
Daemoni
, my mind reminded me,
as if I’d forgotten.
Evil. They are evil!

The urge to kill her overcame me. I
envisioned lunging at her, wrapping my hands around her throat,
even clawing and biting at it. I imagined tearing her to shreds and
her blood spraying me. The taste of it filled my mouth and I liked
it. I ran at her, my hands in front of me, already curled like
claws in anticipation.
I will kill you
.

The ground around me suddenly gave way to
empty blackness, as if I’d stepped off the edge of the world. Air
whipped and roared, spinning into a tornado, but instead of debris,
pictures of faces swirled around me. Tristan. Dorian. Mom. Rina.
The icy man. Vanessa. Owen. Sheree. Vampires. Werewolves. Other
frightening creatures.

“You want to kill!” the man’s voice called.
“We’ll let you!”

“No, Alexis! Love!” Rina yelled.

Their words dwindled into chants of “kill”
and “love” as visions of fighting, embracing, killing and loving
whirled around me. Fire and ice filled my body again. Churning.
Swirling. Clashing. Battling.

“
Come home
,” my own evil voice called
above the ruckus. “
This is what you want!
”

“No!” I said. “I don’t!”

I realized I could no longer hear the others.
Their voices were gone and I was left to myself. Images kept
flashing in front of me, like the slideshows once again. I saw
Tristan’s old memories, but his blood-covered hands in front of me
shrunk into my own hands. I saw myself in the midst of battle,
people falling, dying at my feet. Then Dorian’s face. Then
Tristan’s face. Then me attacking Vanessa. And then she transformed
into Tristan.

“No, no, NO!” I yelled. “I love!”

“
You hate!
” the evil voice said and a
flash of Vanessa’s face appeared.

“NO! I refuse! This is not who I am. I am
Amadis!”

“
You are also Daemoni!
”

“Fuck you!”

“
See? You’re not them. You’ll never be
perfect like them.
”

“I don’t have to be perfect. But I
am
good!”

“
No. You cannot deny your evil
side.
”

“Yes, I can. I’m supposed to choose. I can
choose!”

“
And?
” the voice taunted.

“I choose Amadis. I choose goodness,
love…life.”

“
Are you sure?
”

“Yes! I’m sure!” I sucked in a deep breath
and yelled at the top of my lungs. “I. AM.
AMADIS!
”

The voice fell silent.

The bedroom returned.

And so did the physical pain.

I thrashed in the bed against the unseen
pressure holding me there, my legs kicking and my arms flailing. My
chest felt like it shattered open as the power violently pushed
through and up, bursting outward, pulling my back off the bed with
its force. Icy-hot energy charged painfully from the tips of my
toes and fingers and the top of my head, through my body and up and
out of the crater-sized hole in my chest.

One horrified scream ripped through my
throat.

An answering roar resonated from somewhere
else.

My heart stopped beating.

My lungs stopped breathing.

My body hung in the air.

Then I was falling…falling…falling
forever…until darkness overcame me.

I lay perfectly still with my eyes closed for
several minutes as I assessed myself.

No shivers. No burning. The air didn’t feel
frozen around me. My body temperature finally felt perfectly
comfortable. The luxurious cotton sheets felt satiny against my
bare skin and I knew I was naked. I also knew I’d returned to the
physical world,
my
world, not that eerie soul-sucking place.
I prayed to never return there again.

My heart beat a normal, steady rhythm. The
Amadis mark no longer burned, but the skin felt slightly taut. My
chest and lungs felt good as I breathed naturally. I sucked in a
deeper breath.
No pain, no hole
. The feeling of my chest
ripping open had been so real, I was almost surprised I now felt no
damage.

The scents came clearer than ever before and
I determined the people in the house hadn’t changed—Mom, Rina, Owen
and Tristan. Strange sound bytes of conversations over the
last—
last what?
I had no idea how long I’d been in that
room—hours or days reverberated in my mind, reminding me of
Tristan’s absence.
But he didn’t leave. He’s still here
. I
comforted myself with that thought.

My hearing was better, too, but the sounds
were not painfully loud. Footsteps paced against hard tile in the
kitchen. The two hearts close by beat steadily, while one in the
kitchen pounded harder. The other out there raced, as if pushed to
its physical limits.
What are they doing out there?
I could
still hear the rumbling train, too, but it sounded deeper and
faster now.
What is that?

I opened my eyes. The room seemed bright for
an instant, but my eyes immediately adjusted. I stared at the
ceiling and I could see every little swirl and divot in the
textured paint as if looking through a magnifying glass. I looked
around and the vibrant colors astounded me—colors I’d never seen
before. Mom sat on the bed on my left, and I noticed how her hair
was not simply auburn or chestnut, but a million different shades
of browns and reds, each strand slightly different from all the
others. It was breathtaking.

On the far wall behind her hung an African
safari painting, keeping with the theme of the room’s décor. I saw
each brush stroke and the tiny initials “TK” in the bottom corner.
Tristan must have painted it many years ago. Now I noticed all the
little details he had captured—the different colors of the desert
sand, the ridges of giraffes’ hooves, the pond’s ripples. Had I not
noticed before because I hadn’t paid enough attention? Or because
now I could see so much more clearly?

The painful sensory overload had disappeared,
leaving my senses exponentially more powerful.

That potent energy still ran through my blood
and muscles and nerves, but not the icy or burning forces. Just
pleasant warmth.
This is good energy. This is Amadis power
.
I had no doubt.

And an odd but delightful feeling filled my
entire body, every cell, deep into the very core of my being. Into
my
soul
.

Is it over?

“
Yes, dear, it is over
,” Rina’s voice
answered in my mind.

She sat on the bed to my right, looking
majestic and glorious, although she didn’t wear the usual formal
gown, but a black shirt and black jeans, just like Mom. Only Mom
wore a cotton scoop-neck T and Rina wore a shimmery silk tank. Rina
took my hand and closed her eyes. I could feel her power, but not
as strong as it used to be—at least, not relative to my own. I
could tell she assessed me.

“Simply amazing,” she said aloud.

“Magnificent, as you always said,” Mom
agreed, giving my other hand a squeeze. “How do you feel,
honey?”

“Um,
good
.” My voice surprised me. I
expected the words to come out in a croak or even just a whisper
after everything I’d been through, but my voice came clear and
strong. “Is Dorian okay?”

I had to be sure. Doubt lingered from the
bizarre experience. Things might have changed since the last time
I’d been fully aware of everything.

“Of course he is. He’s at the Amadis mansion.
He’s in good hands,” Mom said.

I wanted to hold him and know for sure. And I
couldn’t wait for the three of us to be united, but I also knew he
was safer there than here right now.

“What about Sheree?”

“She’s stable,” Mom said. “One of our best
counselors is working with her now.”

“So she’s not converted yet?”

“Conversion can take weeks or months…or
longer,” Rina said.

“Oh.” I had no sense of how much time had
passed, but it seemed it’d already been a long time since they’d
left. I felt as though I’d slept for days. “How long was I out of
it?”

“We returned about seven hours ago. Not
long,” Mom answered.

“That’s
it
?”

“It happened very fast,” Rina confirmed.

I sat up in the bed, holding the sheet to my
chest to cover my nakedness. The door remained closed and only Mom
and Rina were in the room, but their eyes stayed glued to me,
making me self-conscious.

“What, exactly, happened?” I asked.

“You’ve completed the
Ang’dora
,” Mom
answered simply. “You want to see?”

She and Rina helped me out of bed, but I
really didn’t need any assistance. My body felt perfect—strong,
healthy, full of power. As we walked into the adjoining bathroom,
though, I was glad they were there. Because I staggered with shock
when I saw myself in the mirror. They both beamed.

“Tha-that’s…that’s
me
?” I breathed. Of
course, it had to be. Who else would be standing naked between Mom
and Rina with that shocked look on her face and the bright red
Amadis mark on her chest? It took me a moment to make sense of the
vision.

I was…
beautiful
.

Not pretty. Not even gorgeous like a model or
a movie star. But
beautiful
. Like Mom and Rina and Tristan
beautiful.

My features hadn’t really changed—my eyes
were still the same almond shape and mahogany brown and my nose,
lips and chin were still shaped the same. They were all
just…
better
. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what looked
different, but there was definitely something. My skin looked like
golden silk, perfectly smooth. And my hair shone vibrantly like
Mom’s in a million shades of reds and browns. And I’d aged
backwards even more. It would be hard to pass for much older than
twenty.
It’s like I
am
nineteen again
.
Like I’ve
gone back to where my real life left off
.

My body had changed, too. Unfortunately, I
hadn’t grown at all. I was still small. But my muscles were more
defined, yet in a feminine way. And I was…curvier.

“Wow,” I breathed as I lifted my boobs in my
hands. They were fuller than they’d ever been, even bigger than
when I’d been pregnant. Mom and Rina chuckled.

“Exquisite,” Rina said.

“Stunning,” Mom added.

“
How?
” I asked, running my hands over
my body, still trying to grasp that the reflection in the mirror
actually belonged to me.

“We revert to the single point in time when
our bodies were physically, mentally and emotionally strongest,”
Rina explained. “Then the Amadis power multiplies those strengths.
The beauty comes from within—our faith, hope and love shining
through.”

Love
. The pleasurable feeling I
couldn’t pinpoint earlier flowing through my body and soul. More
love than I thought any person—or being—could possibly hold. In
fact, it overflowed and I wanted to wrap Mom and Rina within it. If
I weren’t naked, I would have pulled them into me.

“So this is where I stay forever? Looking
like this?” I asked.

“Pretty much,” Mom answered.

“How? Are we like vampires?”

Mom chuckled. Rina shook her head.

“No, not quite,” Rina said. “We are not
frozen in time. Our hearts still beat, blood still flows through
our veins and we still need oxygen, although we can regulate how
much we need when necessary. The explanation is connected to our
ability to heal, which is essentially the regeneration of cells and
tissues, yes?”