Purpose (28 page)

Will tried to block his thoughts from
It
but realized it was futile. If he died, Ryan wouldn’t last a month.
“Will Ryan continue to get stronger?”

“Your mate will improve much as you have.”

“If I agree to continue as your host, the other will stop attracting violence to my ma… to Ryan?”

“Together, you will bring the others to justice and thus feed us both.”

“That requires I, we, kill the guilty to feed the other.”

“Correct.”

Ryan would have a serious issue with the killing part, but what was the alternative? His Purpose would leave them no other option. Either he continued to kill the guilty, or
It
would make sure Ryan died and then move to a new host. Between the guilty or Ryan and other innocent hosts, the choice was easy. Maybe they could….

“Wait, earlier you said I didn’t need to kill for the innocent to receive justice. Now you tell me I need to kill the guilty. How does that work?”

“The guilty are not my source of sustenance. Their death is not necessary for my needs.”

“But your other needs someone to die, preferably the guilty and not its host, to feed.”

“Correct.”

Something still seemed wrong. Forcing himself to focus, he struggled for a minute.

“Ryan’s been host for two weeks. How did your other survive? Until today, he hasn’t been anywhere close to me when someone died.”

“I brought the energy to my other.”

“Why didn’t you do that before? All those other hosts died to feed your other. David died. Why didn’t you help them too?”

“There needs to be physical contact between hosts for the energy to transfer. It was rare my other’s host and mine were close enough to make the exchange.”

His thoughts racing, Will knew there was only one choice. Getting Ryan to agree to it might prove difficult.
“If I’m going to continue and get my mate to agree, let’s talk particulars.”

“N
O
!” R
YAN
spun around, glaring at Will. “How can you even ask?”

“Because it’s the best option, for now.” At least that Will could see. “Either we agree or you and a lot of innocent people will die.”

“The ends justify the means? Really, Will?” His voice rose two octaves. Ryan was quickly losing control. “I can’t believe you’re saying that.”

“Ryan, stop.” Will had to remind himself that his boyfriend was still young. “Stop relying on your emotions and think this through.”

“So now I’m being too emotional?” Angry Ryan wasn’t any easier to deal with than irrational Ryan. Maybe he needed to try a different tack. Moving into the kitchen, he began to make coffee.

“No, I never said that, but you’re also not letting me explain.”

“That’s because….”

“Because what?” Will turned, bag of coffee in hand. “Because you don’t agree with me and are afraid if you hear me out you might change your mind?”

“No.” Calmer, Ryan pulled a chair over and sat. “It’s just… just this is a huge step backward for us.”

Nodding, Will scooped out enough coffee for several cups. “I realize this is a regression in some ways, but I’m hoping that will change.”

Ryan snorted. “And you say I’m naïve. Nothing’s gonna change, Will. Nada. Zero. Zip. Zilch.”

“You don’t know that. If we can speak to them, maybe we can find a better way.” At least he wanted to believe they would. “What I mean is, so long as your Purpose gets fed, we won’t have to kill every guilty person we go after.”

“Oh, that’s sooo much better.” Ryan’s voice held enough sarcasm that Will didn’t turn around. “We only have to kill some of them.”

Frowning, he slowly poured the water into the machine before he turned to meet Ryan’s stare. “I’m not doing a very good job explaining, am I?”

“Not really, no.” Ryan shook his head but gave Will the barest of smiles.

“Sorry.” Will took a deep breath. In the last two weeks, almost everything he “knew” had been proven wrong. “Let me try again. First, we can’t say no, not now at least. If we don’t cooperate,
It
will just find a way to kill you so it can feed. After that,
It
will just move on to someone else, and the cycle will continue. Given the outcome is inevitable, I’ll take the option that keeps you alive.”

“Saying you’re doing it to save me doesn’t justify killing.” Ryan might have said more, but Will cut him off.

“Yes, it does!” Will closed his eyes to keep calm. Ryan was staring at him when he opened them. “Do you realize how much it would destroy me if you were killed? That thing killed David, and now it might kill you. I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent
It
from doing that to you.”

The thought of visiting Ryan’s grave seized Will’s heart. Pain like he had felt only once before made him tremble, strengthening his resolve. “Maybe it’s not fair to ask this of you, but it hurts too much to think I’ll lose you. Together, we can find a way to satisfy their needs without killing people.”

“How?” Ryan looked defeated. “We just learned my Purpose is far more violent than yours. Why would you think it’s possible to keep it happy without killing?”

“There has to be a way.” He rooted through the cabinet and pulled out two mugs. Handing one to Ryan, he took a seat opposite his boyfriend. “We have to find one. It’s that important. If we don’t, the number of innocent people these two kill is going to explode.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Think about what will happen after us, after me in particular. Whoever’s next is going to have a hard time keeping hidden.” Will saw the confusion on Ryan’s face. “With all the advantages I have, Barrington still made a connection between all the killings.

“When
It
takes
Its
next host, that person will need time to figure out who and what it is. He or she won’t immediately know how to access all my memories or even know that they
are
memories. It will take years until their brain can cloud minds or project illusions. Even longer before they can create the electronic scramblers I rely on to keep hidden. I’ve had forty years to perfect avoiding detection. And that was
before
all the high tech of today. How long do you think my replacement will last? Think of the revolving door that will create. Not to mention what we know your Purpose will do to survive.”

Quiet, Ryan stared down, kicking at the area rug at his feet. “Our choices are, suck it up and do what they want or damn countless others to be used, killed, and tossed aside.”

Watching the glass pot fill, Will debated telling Ryan his thoughts. False hope was worse than no hope, in his mind. “I have an idea, if you’re up to hearing it.”

Ryan’s body tensed as he finally looked up. “Why does that sound ominous?”

“Nothing like that.” Will got up to get the pot, using the time to gather his thoughts. Once both mugs were filled, he sat down. “I just figured I’d get your thoughts on it before I spoke to
It
.”

Closing one eye, Ryan tried to lift his right eyebrow. “You want to run something by me? That’s a first.”

“Maybe, but we’re in this together, so—” Will had to stop speaking when Ryan’s fingers touched his lips.

“I was kidding.” Ryan moved his hand, then kissed Will. “What’s your idea?”

“Okay, just remember that I’m not sure this would work and I haven’t asked my Purpose if it’s acceptable, and even if it is, I haven’t worked out the details—”

“
Will
! The idea?”

Feeling foolish, Will took a sip to cover his embarrassment. “It occurred to me as I was explaining what
It
told me, that what it really needs is the energy when a soul leaves this plane of existence. The tricky part is being around when that happens. My Purpose draws lingering souls and finds a way to get them to move on. Yours has people killed to feed.

“But what if we were to find a way to be around when people died naturally? Say work in a hospital or a hospice center. That ought to be enough, shouldn’t it?”

Ryan stared into the black liquid in his cup. Twice, Will almost said something, but opted to let his boyfriend work out his issues in silence.

“In theory, it sounds good, but if it’s that simple, why hasn’t it been done before? I mean, how hard would it be for them to find a host who worked around death?”

The question mirrored Will’s skepticism. “I don’t know, but when I searched my memories, I found times when hosts didn’t need to avenge the innocent. During major wars or big epidemics, the hosts didn’t go avenging the innocent until well after the fighting stopped or the disease ran its course. Several hosts didn’t know they were hosts because there never came a time when
It
forced them to go avenge someone. I suspect if you search your memories you’ll find similar times.”

His face scrunched up, Ryan kept his gaze on his coffee. “Interesting that you only ‘learn’ these things now, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

Looking up, Ryan’s expression was one of defeat. “You’ve been host for forty years, and it’s only now you realize that not all prior hosts have had to kill the guilty. It’s like they don’t want us to know this stuff because they prefer killing people.”

Will’s first instinct was to say they’d find a way, but Ryan’s observation stole his voice. There had been more than enough opportunity for both Purposes to place their hosts in an optimal position for “feeding,” yet it was never done. Instead, Will hunted down the guilty, and Ryan’s Purpose created innocent victims by killing
It
s hosts.

“I’m not so sure it’s that they prefer killing.” In fact, Will knew that wasn’t the case. “They’re not like us. All they focus on is survival: theirs. It’s why I think they’ll agree to what I’m suggesting.”

“What makes you say that?”

Shrugging, Will put his cup down and stood up. He held out his hand and heaved Ryan to his feet and into a hug. “I know you want more than me saying ‘instinct’, but that’s the biggest reason. Killing is
easier
for them than trying to find a host with the perfect job. If such a job even exists. Then there is the issue of the host being close enough when someone died to absorb the energy. By killing, they could ensure they both fed.”

“Will,” Ryan snorted, “that sounds like an argument for why they would want us to keep killing.”

Will shook his head. “No, it’s an explanation of why they killed before. They don’t need to do it anymore, now that they have us.”

“Us,” Ryan said softly. “You still haven’t explained why we change things.”

Waving his finger between the two, Will said, “We, you and I, are exactly what they envisioned when they came here. Two hosts they can communicate with to see to their needs. If we find a way to keep them satisfied, they won’t care how we do it.”

Ryan’s smile looked forced. “Right.”

Refilling their cups, Will motioned with his head for the living room. “Try this. Right now, they are together and can work as a unit, which is what they intended when they arrived. Bouncing around to different hosts all the time isn’t ideal for them either. There is a period of disorientation for both the host and
It
. Then, what if my Purpose’s host doesn’t do what
It
wants? Or your Purpose’s host avoids getting killed? You can see why feeding like that isn’t their preferred method.”

Will wrapped his arms around Ryan, pulling his boyfriend closer. Even standing back to chest, Will could sense Ryan’s smile. Whatever it took, he’d find a way to placate the Purposes while keeping Ryan happy. It would take some doing, but he was confident he could make it happen.

“Do you really think you can make it work, Will?” The hint of hope in Ryan’s voice gave Will new resolve.

“Yes, but I won’t lie and say it will be easy or quick.” Will pressed his lips gently against the back of Ryan’s neck. “Even if we get them to agree, it’s going to take time to find the right place.”

“Which means we have to do things their way until we find an alternative.” Ryan’s body seemed to sink into Will’s.

“Ryan, I know this isn’t what you want. It’s not what I want either, but I promise I’ll do all I can to find a better way.”

Twisting, Ryan moved closer, bringing their lips together. The short kiss Will expected quickly turned deep and passionate. It lasted long enough that they both needed a moment to catch their breath.

“I love you, Will.” This time Ryan’s kiss was soft and brief.

The goofy smile on Will’s face matched his confusion. “What did I do to deserve that?”

“You’re not giving up on us.” He leaned his back against Will’s chest again. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

Searching for the right response, Will decided to say nothing. Hugging Ryan tighter, he closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. He didn’t pretend this was settled because he knew there were many issues to still resolve, but they could worry about that later.