Pursued (35 page)

If Merrick had been with her, he would have warned her to avoid this particular vine at all costs. The
skrillix
was always considered blessed, but when it grew on one of the holy grandfather trees, it was sacred and completely untouchable. No
wonder
the Ancient One wanted to kill her—without knowing it, Elise had signed her own death warrant!

“I know how this looks,” he said, turning back to the being he was grappling with.
Fuck
but they were strong in their second form. “But it’s all a mistake. Elise is from off-planet—she didn’t know she was blaspheming or transgressing. You can’t kill her for simple ignorance.”

Finally the Ancient One stilled. He was about a half a head shorter than Merrick but his slitted cat eyes blazed up into Merrick’s ferociously. “Whether she deserves life or death will be for the Elders to decide,” he growled. “But for the theft of the sacred
skrillix,
she must be punished.”

“I understand,” Merrick said evenly. “But I am her protector. I will take her punishment on myself.”

The Ancient One’s eyes narrowed and somehow his strange paw hands slipped from Merrick’s grasp, getting away from him before he was ready to let go. “You do not know what you offer, outsider,” he hissed. “My claws are tipped with bitter
anx
venom—your pain would be intense and long lasting.”

Merrick moved warily, trying to keep himself between the angry Ancient and Elise. “No matter what you choose to do to me, seeing Elise punished would hurt me more.”

“Hers was the crime,” the Ancient insisted. “Hers should be the punishment. He darted to one side, cat-quick, forcing Merrick to dodge to keep between him and Elise.

“No,” Merrick insisted. “No, she—”

“I am coming,” the Ancient One hissed, his indigo eyes glowing. “For this night’s crimes, my claws shall taste blood. Protect her if you can, outsider.”

* * * * *

Elise gasped as Merrick grabbed her and shoved her against the tree trunk, pressing her bare back to its rough bark.

“What’s going on? What is he going to do?”

“Nothing to you, baby.” Merrick pressed against her, covering her from breast to ankles, shielding her with his body. “Just hold still and don’t try to run,” he growled.

“But that’s exactly what we have to do—run!” she protested. “We have the
skrillix
and the edge of the Deep Blue can’t be that far. We can make it, Merrick!”

“I might make it but you wouldn’t,” he said grimly. “The Ancient Ones are fucking fast and strong. He’d be on you in a heartbeat. Besides, we earned this punishment. We have to take it if we want to get out of here alive.”

“But—”she started to say and then there was a horrible ripping sound.

Merrick threw back his head and clenched his jaw. A hiss of pain escaped his gritted teeth.

“Merrick?” she asked, suddenly fearful. “What’s happening? What is he doing?”

“Just hold still,” he ground out. “It’ll be over soon. At least I fucking
hope
it will.”

“What?” Elise demanded. “
What
will be over?” Then she heard the ripping sound again and saw the face of the Ancient One, contorted with rage, appearing momentarily over Merrick’s shoulders. He raised one hand—no, paw was a better word now—and Elise saw that the sharp, curving claws were dripping with crimson.
Blood,
she thought faintly.
Oh my God, that’s blood—
Merrick’s
blood!”

Suddenly she understood what was happening. While Merrick shielded her with his body, the Ancient One was tearing his back to ribbons with its claws. The ripping sound was Merrick’s shirt and the flesh underneath it being shredded.

This punishment was meant for me,
she thought wildly.
This is all my fault! Merrick told me not to come into the Deep Blue alone, but I didn’t listen. And now he has to suffer for my foolish, ignorant mistake.

“No!” she gasped and realized that tears were running down her cheeks. “No, please stop! This is my fault!” she called over Merrick’s shoulder, trying to get the Ancient One’s attention. “I’m the one you ought to punish—not him!” When the Ancient One didn’t reply, she tried pushing at Merrick’s chest. “Move, let me out. Let me take it,” she begged.

Merrick shook his head and winced as the cruel claws ripped into him again. “Not gonna happen, baby. You’d never survive this. Just hold still. Over…soon.” His deep, gravelly voice was growing fainter, and Elise began to wonder how much blood he was losing. Or maybe it was the bitter venom stuff the Ancient One had talked about—could that be taking a toll on him? Poisoning him?

“Merrick?” His head was hanging low and this time he didn’t respond. Panic began to well up inside Elise. She grabbed his face in both hands, feeling the rough scratch of his cheeks against her palms. “Merrick, answer me!” she insisted, pulling his face up.

“All right…” His voice was so soft now she could barely hear him. “Everything…all right.”

“No, it’s not! Not if you’re hurt. Not if you’re…” But Elise couldn’t make herself say the word “dying,” couldn’t even let herself think it. “Please,” she whispered, hot tears running down her cheeks. “Please, Merrick, don’t leave me!”

He didn’t answer. As she watched, his mismatched eyes rolled upward to show the whites. Gradually, like a mountain falling down in slow motion, he collapsed in a heap at her feet.

“Merrick!” she screamed.
“Merrick!”

But there was no answer—none at all.

Lissa was lost in the past.

She stumbled unseeing through the rainbow colored dunes, her eyes blind to the heat haze rising around her. The thin layer of sand hovering over her head was less than a millimeter thick now—her powers were waning and exhaustion and dehydration were taking their toll. The oasis she’d been aiming for was forgotten. Though her body continued its relentless journey toward the center of the desert, her mind was back on Tarsia, almost a decade ago. Reliving the aftermath of her parents’ death, remembering the teasing and taunts of the children and what Saber had said to her afterwards…

* * * * *

“Don’t cut it.”

“What?” She whirled to see him standing there, in the doorway to her bedroom—well, the room she’d been assigned by her adopted mother, anyway. It really didn’t have much of Lissa in it to personalize it. Just a small, palm-sized holo of her parents and Dak’s old stuffed
queddy.
The animal’s fake fur had been mostly loved off by her little brother and one ear was stained red with his blood, but it was all she had left of him and Lissa cherished it.

“I said, don’t cut it.” Saber came into the room and gestured to her hair, which Lissa had gripped tightly in one hand. In the other she held a gardening laser her adopted mother used to trim the
gara
bushes. “Especially not with that,” he added, stepping forward and taking the laser gently from her hand. “You’re just as likely to chop your head off if you’re not careful.”

“Why shouldn’t I cut it?” Lissa demanded. “You heard what Chainee and Yancee said. It’s ugly.
I’m
ugly.”

“You’re
different
,” he corrected her gently. “Different from them and that’s something they can’t forget or forgive.”

“Different or ugly—it’s the same thing.” Lissa looked back at the mirror she was standing in front of. In it she saw a girl with the wrong color hair and the wrong color eyes. A girl who didn’t belong.

Saber took another step toward her. “They’re short-sighted, bigoted idiots,” he said roughly. “They can’t see you as you really are. Or maybe they don’t want to because they’re jealous.”

“Jealous? Of me?” Lissa tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sob. “Why would anyone be jealous of
me?”

“Because you’re not ugly at all. You…you’re beautiful.” Saber cleared his throat and his face, reflected behind hers in the mirror, was red. “I know I shouldn’t say that,” he added. “Since we’re from the same clan and living in the same household. But it’s true, Lissa. You…you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Her breath caught in her throat. Could this really be happening? Could the most handsome and admired young man in the whole clan really be telling her he thought she was beautiful?
He’s also your older brother and not just by clan—by adoption, which is an even more sacred binding,
she reminded herself with a sharp twinge of conscience. Still, his statement was so startling she almost forgot to be upset.

“Thank you,” she said at last, feeling confused. “Do…do you really mean that?”

“I never lie,” Saber said softly. He was standing right behind her now, meeting her eyes in the mirror. Lissa felt her cheeks heat in a blush as their gazes locked and held but somehow she couldn’t look away. For the first time she realized that Saber’s eyes weren’t the plain, dark brown of most of the others in the clan. Instead, they were a lovely hazel with green and gold flecks.

“Your eyes,” she said. “They’re…”

“Different?” Saber laughed. “Don’t forget, my father is a Kindred too, just as yours was.”

Lissa sighed. “Your differences aren’t as noticeable though. And even if they were, you’d still be loved. You’re so handsome and…”
Oh my Goddess, did I actually say that aloud?
“And you’re the son of the Over Chief,” she went on hurriedly. “I’m just an orphan girl who doesn’t belong anywhere.”

“That’s not true,” Saber murmured. “You belong here with me.” He cleared his throat and his cheeks got red again. With
us
, I mean—with my family.”

“I don’t think so.” Lissa shook her head sadly. “Your father is very kind, but he’s so busy I almost never see him. And your mother, well, I don’t…don’t think she likes me very much,” she confessed in a low voice.

“Mame’ just takes awhile to warm up to new people,” Saber said gently. “Uh, I’m a little like that myself. I know I haven’t spoken to you much since you came here. I’m sorry about that.”

“You’ve always been kind though,” Lissa said softly. “You…you woke me up from that bad dream I was having.”

“It must have been some nightmare.” He looked troubled. “You were crying out your parents’ names and shaking like a leaf.”

Lissa looked down. “I was dreaming…of the way they died,” she whispered. “Of what the pirates did to them…”

“Don’t.” Saber sounded so distressed she was surprised into looking up. “Don’t,” he said again, his hazel eyes filled with concern. “Unless you
need
to talk about it—and if you do, I’ll listen. But don’t dwell on it otherwise. Don’t put yourself through it all over again.”

“I can’t help it,” Lissa admitted. “Even if I try not to think of it, it still comes back to me in my dreams. I…I should have died with them, you know. With my mame’ and pape’ and Dak. We should all be together now with the Goddess.”

“Don’t say that,” Saber said fiercely. Taking her by the shoulders, he turned her to face him. “Don’t even
think
it, Lissa. If you had died too, then I never would have gotten the chance to know you. You would have still been just a mysterious girl who appeared every six solar months or so and then left again with her parents on another trading mission. We never would have spoken a word to each other.”

She looked up at him, wide-eyed. “Do you really care that much? I mean, would you care if you hadn’t met me?”

“Of course.” Saber stroked her cheek, very gently with just his fingertips.

“Oh!” Lissa shivered at the tender brush of his fingers against her skin. No male and female of the same clan should share such a touch. Though there was nothing sexual in the feel of Saber’s hand on her, it was still…intimate. She waited uneasily for the feeling of wrongness to kick in. The uncomfortable, squirmy feeling she’d been told would overcome her if she was doing something evil or incestuous…but no such feeling came.

“You have a light around you, do you know that?” Saber asked in a low voice, ducking his head to look into her eyes. “I saw it the first moment you stepped in our door. You brighten every room you walk into and you don’t even know it.”

“I…” Lissa looked down in confusion, once again at a loss for words.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you before now,” Saber went on. “Only I didn’t know what to say. And I wanted to do more than wake you up that night you were having the bad dream. You looked so hurt—sounded so lost. I…I wanted to chase away your fears. To protect you from anything bad and evil. I wanted to be everything to you. Wanted to be your…your…” He shook his head, as though at a loss for words.

“
Moch Daer,”
Lissa finished for him in a soft voice. The name meant so many things to her people—cherished older brother, protector, confidant, best friend. It was the closest relationship a male and female of the same clan could have. She had never dreamed she would ever have a
Moch Daer,
especially not one as handsome and kind as Saber, but here he was, plainly offering, to her surprise and delight. Or was he? He hesitated so long she became sure she’d overstepped herself. But then, finally he nodded.

“Yes, I would be the one you call
Moch Daer,
if you will consent to be my
amalla.”

Lissa felt her heart skip a beat. ‘Beloved little sister,’ the term meant—‘darling of my heart.’ Did Saber really feel that strongly about her? “I…I would love to be claimed as your
amalla,”
she whispered. “If…if you wish to claim me.”

“I do.” Impulsively, Saber drew her close and pressed a chaste, gentle kiss to her forehead. His breath was warm against her skin and Lissa felt a wave of heat go through her. The touch of his fingertips to her cheek had been risky enough, but for him to actually hold her, to
kiss
her…

Once more she waited anxiously for the feeling of incestuous wrongness…and once more it didn’t come. Had the kinship compound both she and Saber been injected with at birth been faulty or ineffective for some reason? Or was this touch between them all right simply because it wasn’t meant to be sexual? Lissa had no idea—she had no experience in such matters and knew only what she’d been taught since birth—that touching a male of the same clan she’d been born into was the rankest and most disgusting form of incest. That it was the worst thing she could do—worse, even, than murder.