Put Out the Fires (49 page)

“And who’s this?” The man who’d been struggling with Ruth was looking at Matt aggressively.

“This,” Matt said coldly, “is Ruth’s husband.”

Dilys gasped, “I didn’t know you were married, Ruth?”

“Well, she is. I suppose you’re Dilys Evans.” Matt was conscious of Ruth sobbing quietly against his shoulder.

Even in the midst of the drama, Dilys managed to look coy. “It’s Dilys Harvey, actually. This is Reg, me husband.”

“They offered me ten pounds, Matt,” Ruth moaned.

“Ten pounds for my baby.”

“It’s not your baby,” Reg began.

“Ten pounds?” Matt said sarcastically. “Is that what you think Michael’s worth? Where is it, the ten pounds?”

“On the mantelpiece.” Reg rubbed his forehead, as if everything was getting beyond him.

“Well, take it back if you don’t mind. We neither want or need your ten pounds.”

Now it was Dilys’s turn to burst into tears. “But I want my baby,” she wailed. “I want Michael.”

“There, love.” Reg put his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t take on so. You’ll have him, don’t worry.” He turned to Matt. “If you don’t give us that baby here and now, I’ll fetch the police.”

“Matt!” Ruth screamed.

“Why don’t we all sit down,” Matt suggested reasonably, though he felt anything but reasonable inside—he could have snapped the man’s neck in two with pleasure, “and talk this through like civilised people?” He gently manoeuvred Ruth into a chair. The other two sat down at the table, albeit reluctantly.

“Don’t see that there’s much to talk about,” Reg said churlishly.

There was silence for a few seconds. Dilys eyed Michael tearfully, as he still slept peacefully in Ruth’s arms. Reg looked edgy and kept glancing worriedly at his young wife.

“Have you the remotest idea how cruel this is?” Matt said softly. “You asked Ruth to have your baby, Dilys, and she did. She’s taken care of him since the day he was born. In Ruth’s eyes, Michael is her baby. Did you seriously think you could just turn up and snatch him out of her arms? Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if someone took away a child you thought was yours without a single moment’s notice? Are you utterly devoid of feelings, the pair of you?” He found it hard to keep the contempt out of his voice.

“I only meant for her to look after him till I’d sorted meself out,” Dilys sniffed.

“No you didn’t,” Ruth whispered. “The whole time you were pregnant you swore you didn’t want him. You called him ‘sinful’.”

Dilys tossed her head. “Well, I wasn’t meself, was I?”

“Shush, love.” Reg had clearly been deeply affected by Matt’s words and looked quite mortified. He put his hand on Dilys’s arm. “He’s right. We should have written beforehand.”

“Dilys should have written a long time ago, if it was her intention to take Michael back,” Matt said.

“Why didn’t you, love - write, that is?” “Because I couldn’t take care of him proper while I was single, and it never crossed me mind I’d get married, not till I met you, Reg.” Dilys looked shyly at Matt. “We only met a month ago when he came into the cafe. It was what you call love at first sight.”

“She told me about the baby - about Michael,” Reg explained. “It didn’t bother me a bit about taking on another man’s kid, but I’m afraid I didn’t realise the situation was quite as it is.” He nodded uncomfortably in the direction of Ruth. “I tell you what.” He stood up suddenly and pushed back his chair. “We’ll come back in a few weeks. Give the lady time to get used to the situation.”

“But, Reg, I want him now!” Dilys wailed.

“Well, you can’t, love,” Reg said firmly. He looked squarely at Matt. “She’s got to have him, you realise that, don’t you? I know it’s cruel, like you said, and Dilys hasn’t gone about it fair and proper - she told me she’d only left the baby with someone to be looked after, temporary as it were, not that she’d given him away. Even so, it’s only justice that she gets the baby back.”

Matt glanced at Ruth. Her eyes were tight shut as she squeezed Michael’s tiny body against her own. For an awful moment, he thought she might be squeezing the life out of him rather than hand him over to another woman.

“We’ll be good parents, I promise,” Reg was saying. “I’ve got my own shop, a draper’s, so we’re not short of a few bob. There’s no need for the lady to worry about the way he’s looked after.”

“Ruth,” Matt whispered, bending over her. “Let Dilys have Michael.”

She opened her eyes, and he thought he’d never seen an expression so tragic and utterly devoid of hope. “Must I?”

“Yes, you must.”

“Aah!” She uttered an anguished cry as she let Dilys take the baby out of her arms, then left her arms there, empty and imploring. Michael woke up and smiled at the strange face staring down at him.

“It’s best for you to take him now,” Matt said. He felt a sense of loss, not just for Ruth, but for himself. He hadn’t realised how fond he’d grown of Michael. “It would be nothing less than torture for Ruth to keep him, knowing it was only for a few weeks.”

Reg nodded in agreement. “Whatever you say.”

Dilys laughed as she rocked the baby back and forth.

“Haven’t you got a lovely smile?” she cooed.

“I think you should both go now,” Matt said quickly.

Reg glanced at Ruth. “Perhaps we should. Come on, love.”

Dilys paused in the doorway. “Thanks, Ruth, for everything.” But she might as well have spoken to the wall, because Ruth’s face seemed to have turned to stone.

When they were outside, Reg said, “I’m sorry about all that business before. I don’t know what got into me. I suppose the thing uppermost in my mind was that I wanted my Dilys to be happy. I hope she soon gets over it, your wife.”

“I hope so, too,” Matt said as he closed the door.

He wouldn’t have minded if she’d cried and wept, screamed out the anguish she must be feeling, but he couldn’t bear the way she sat trance-like in the chair, her body like ice, her face frozen in an expression of utter despair.

“Ruth,” he pleaded for what must have been the hundredth time. “Please speak to me. Say something, please, Ruth.”

“What is there to say?”

At last! “It’s not the end, dear. What is it they say ‘where there’s life, there’s hope’.” He realised how trite and stupid the words sounded.

“There’s no life for me, and there’s no hope.”

“Ruth, you came through one terrible tragedy with flying colours, and you’ll come through this, you’ll see.

Dilys will be a good mother to Michael, and although she behaved badly, he is her child.”

“I seem to be fated not to have children. At some stage, they are always taken from me.”

She began to cry and Matt felt relieved. Crying he could cope with. “But Michael never was your child, Ruth,” he said gently. “It was always on the cards that this might happen. You must have known that, somewhere deep down in your heart.”

“If I did, it never stopped me loving him as if he was my own.”

“I know. I’d become fond of him myself He’d already begun to miss the baby’s presence. He was aware of the empty basket, the smell of milk, and noticed the empty bottle on the table. If it affected him so deeply, how must it affect Ruth?

She was still crying, deep racking sobs that seemed to tear through her body. Matt moved away and stood in front of the fire, clutching the mantelpiece. He stared into the flames and recalled the words he’d spoken in Reece’s on the day he’d offered to marry her. “I want to be of some use on this earth. I feel no use at all at the moment.”

He took a deep breath as he turned to the weeping woman, and for a moment, Eileen Costello’s lovely fresh face flashed before his eyes.

“Ruth,” he said, “you’re still young enough to have children. Why don’t we start a family of our own?”

“What!” She stopped crying and looked at him, startled.

“After all, we’re already married.”

He wasn’t quite sure what reaction to expect. He thought she might be indignant at the suggestion, though in view of how she’d been acting over the last few weeks, she might be pleased. He was quite unprepared for the way she threw herself into his arms and began to kiss him passionately.

“Oh, Matt!” she breathed. “There’s nothing I’d like better. You’re the only person in the world who can take the place of Michael. I love you, Matt. I’ve loved you for a longtime.”

“And I love you,” Matt lied.

“Are you sure?” She clasped his face in her thin hands and stared at him intently.

Matt swallowed. “I’m sure.”

“Then take me to bed, Matt.”

She began to drag him towards the door. Matt loosened her arms from around his neck. “No, Ruth, not now. You don’t know what you’re doing, what you’re saying.”

She’d swung from bitterness and despair to delirium within a matter of seconds, and he knew it wasn’t natural. Her eyes were fever bright in her haggard face, and even if he’d actually wanted to make love, he couldn’t have done it. He said, “I’d like you to think it over for a few days before we . . . Let’s discuss it properly tomorrow.”

She looked disappointed. “If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I think is best, Ruth.”

“Shall we drink a toast?” She clapped her hands together like a child. “There’s still some rum left from Christmas.”

“I’d love a drink.” The idea was more than.welcome, and it might help her sleep.

Ruth produced the rum and a couple of glasses from the sideboard. She swallowed hers in a single gulp. “I think I’ll go to bed now.”

“There’s something I want to do first.”

Matt went upstairs and dismantled the baby’s cot which was beside her bed, and put it in the boxroom. You never know, it might be used again, if he and Ruth . . .

As soon as she’d gone to bed, Matt finished off the rum, drinking straight from the bottle. After a while, he went upstairs and lay on the bed, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. The nights were getting darker and you could barely see in the room. There was the sound of men’s voices outside; the King’s Arms must have let out and they’d all be standing on the corner of the street having a last minute jangle, as they called it, before they went home to their families. There was a burst of laughter, and he felt envious of the men who seemed to lead such uncomplicated lives compared to his own. What on earth was he doing here, in this little terraced house in Bootle, married to a woman he didn’t love? He’d entered the situation quite freely, eyes wide open, yet never, in his wildest dreams, had he imagined it would turn out the way it had.

A woman called, “Goodnight, Dad,” and he felt sure it was Eileen Costello, but when he got off the bed to look, the door of Number 16 was closed.

Shortly afterwards, the siren went, which it still did from time to time, followed almost immediately by the All Clear. There’d been no raids during August. It must have been a false alarm.

Matt continued to lie there until it became dark. There was no moon that night and the blackness was total, as was the silence. Ruth must be fast asleep, thank goodness. For a brief moment, Matt considered making a quick getaway before she woke and the whole thing started up again, but the thought was rejected as fast as it came. She had no-one except him, and although the marriage vows had meant nothing at the time, nevertheless he’d made them and he felt he owed her something. She was a good woman who’d had a rotten deal from life over the last few years.

The hours crept by. Matt had never felt less like sleep, yet he was on early shift tomorrow—no, today. Perhaps it might be a good idea to get undressed. He was about to get off the bed, when he heard footsteps on the landing and there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Matt, are you awake?” Ruth called.

His heart sank and he wondered what she wanted. He dreaded another scene. “Yes,” he said.

The door opened and she came in. “I thought you might be. Do you mind if I put the light on?”

To his relief, she sounded quite calm. “The curtains aren’t drawn,” he warned.

“I’ll see to it.”

She drew the curtains, turned the gas mantle on, and he saw she was, like him, still wearing the clothes she’d had on all day. She sat on the edge of the bed and smiled. “I’m all right now,” she said.

Matt watched her, unsure what his reaction should be.

What did she mean, she was all right now?

Ruth shivered. “It’s cold in here.” She took Jacob’s old overcoat from where it still hung behind the door and draped it round her shoulders. She pulled a wry face as she touched a worn cuff. “I’ve been thinking about my father.

You know, I’d scarcely noticed he was dead, I was so taken up with Michael.”

Her face was no longer haggard, the lines had smoothed out. In fact, her expression was as calm as her voice.

Matt continued to watch her warily, unsure as to whether this was merely another mood she’d swung into.

“Oh, Matt!” she said softly. “You look absolutely terrified. I promise I’m not going to eat you. I’ve been lying on the bed all this time, just thinking: about my father, about Simon and Leah—I’d almost forgotten about my own children. The more I thought, the clearer everything became. I would have been a terrible mother to Michael. He’ll be far better off with Dilys. I was trying to make up for all the things I’d done wrong with Simon and Leah. I thought, if I loved Michael hard enough and strong enough, then I’d never lose him the way I lost them.”

Matt felt his body sag with relief. She really was all right. “I suppose it was only natural,” he said.

“And the way I behaved when Dilys came . . . ”

He interrupted harshly, “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Ruth. Dilys Evans may be dim, and perhaps she didn’t do it deliberately, but she used you quite ruthlessly in her own way.”

“Don’t make excuses for me, Matt. I think I’ve been slowly going mad over the last few months.” She looked at him. “It wasn’t just Michael, either. Benjy and I didn’t get on well for years. I was trying to put it right through you, except that you wouldn’t let me!”

“I think I realised it was something like that.”

“Poor Matt! I’ve really put you through the wringer, haven’t I? I’m surprised you stayed.”

“It never crossed my mind to do otherwise.” Not until tonight.