Queen (125 page)

    because his pappy was so pigheaded he saw only a life on a farm for a

    boy, no matter whether the boy was suited for that life or not. Did he

    want the same thing to happen to Simon as had happened to Abner, so

    frustrated with life in this narrow community he left it rather than

    stay?

    "I thought you were more of a man than that," she said. "I thought you

    were somebody who could afford to waste a boy, just one, and let him

    follow his own star. Obviously, I was wrong. Obviously I've been working

    my po' fingers to the bone all these years for no reason."

764 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    She stopped talking and lapsed into aggrieved silence. Alec didn't speak

    for a while, but something she had said had amused him.

"Wastin' a boy?"

Queen knew she had won.

"if schooling's a waste of time, that-s what it would be."

    Alec was tickled pink by the idea of "wasting" a son, and surely he could

    afford it. He owned a hundred acres of good bottomland now, and two other

    small farms, of five acres each, one of which he rented to George.

"Wastin' a boy," he chuckled again.

Queen nodded, but was sly, and didn't let him see her smile.

"Ain't too many men in the district can afford to do that."

    They sat in silence again, and puffed on their pipes and rocked on their

    chairs, and then Alec delivered his ultimatum.

    "But I ain't payin' fo' all the books he'll need," he announced. "Those

    books cost me a fortune."

They rocked together.

"Uh-huh," said Queen.

    Inside the house, Simon, who had been listening through the open window,

    did a little silent sock hop of joy.

    He got work to pay for his books. He did odd jobs at the Cherry mansion. He

    was a delivery boy for the general merchant, he tended gardens, he chopped

    wood in the winter and sold lemonade in the summer. Queen thought that he

    did all this with his nose in a book at the same time, for his grades were

    excellent, and even Alec was impressed by Simon's industry. He took great

    pride in telling his friends on the ferry that he was "wasting" a son,

    until a few of them, thinking he must be wealthy, started asking him for

    small loans.

On a warm Saturday in late spring, Queen was alone in the shack, and decided

it needed a thorough cleaning. Alec was running the ferry; Conway and

Freeland were working the land. Simon was selling homemade lemonade,

somewhere down the road. She dragged the rugs outside, threw them over the

line, and as she beat them, she plotted what she would say to Alec when she

had to persuade him that Simon should go on past eighth grade, for she,

Simon, and his teacher were determined that he should.

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 765

She saw Simon coming up the path and was surprised.

    "You sold all that lemonade already?" she asked him. He didn't reply. His

    expression was forlorn, and he had a bloody handkerchief to his nose;

    She dragged the truth out of him, although he was reluctant, for it was

    his own battle. Some boys, bigger than he, poor white trash, had offered

    to buy his lemonade, drunkit, and then refused to pay. There was a fight,

    and Simon got the worst of it.

    A spark of fire exploded in Queen's mind. She dragged him, unwillingly,

    to the poor-white part of town, and found one of the boys who had beaten

    up Simon. She demanded payment for the lemonade, but he jeered at her,

    told her she was a nigger fool, and it had nothing to do with him.

    So Queen hit him, slapped his face hard. The boy yelled and called for

    his pa, but it was his ma who came out to deal with the crazy nigger

    woman who was hitting white boys. Others gathered to watch the fun, and

    Queen, who was becoming hysterical, stood her ground and demanded payment

    for the lemonade. A sheriff arrived and tried to make the peace, but

    Queen would have none of it. To try to shut her up, the sheriff threw

    some coins at her from his own pocket, but she smashed them to the

    ground.

    "I don't want yo' charity," she cried. "I want what's rightfully mine.

    You think I'm some po' nigger you can beat up on and cheat and lie to?"

She hoicked up her skirts, to show her leg.

    "I is white, you hear me? Whiter than most of you!" She pointed at the

    bystanders, who were amused by her, or angered by her. The fires raged

    in her head, and she danced across the border of insanity, into the

    country of the mad. She raved at them, a long, rambling speech of her

    grievances, but she kept coming back to her central point.

    "I don't want yo' damn white charity. All I want is what's mine! What is

    due to me!"

    Suddenly, she stopped, her body rigid. It was as though suddenly she had

    stepped outside of herself, and saw what was happening to her.

    "For God's sake, give her the money," the sheriff said to the boy's

    mother in the silence that followed. "The woman's mad. "

766 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    Simon, who had been ashamed of his mother's behavior, and concerned for

    her, sprang to her defense.

    "She ain't mad!" he shouted at the sheriff. "She just suffered, is all. We

    don't want your money. We got money."

    He turned to his mother and took her gently by the hand. "Come on, Ma," he

    said gently. "Let's go home."

    He led her away, and the crowd parted for them in silence, although he

    heard at least one snicker about damn crazy niggers.

    Queen stared at the empty fireplace. The flames in her mind were quiet

    again, and had been replaced by an awful fear. Alec sat with her, holding

    her hand, trying to bring her back from whatever awful place she had gone

    to.

    "I'm here," he said, again and again. "Ain't nuttin' fo' you to be afraid

    of. I'll always be here."

She shivered. "I so scared," she whimpered.

    Alec would have given everything he owned to know what it was that

    frightened her so, but he had to give nothing, because she told him.

"I scared of me," she whispered.

Perhaps that is why he protested only mildly when Queen told him that Simon

wanted to continue his education. Or perhaps he had seen it coming. Or

perhaps he was just getting old.

    "Nigger boy goin' to high school," he scoffed. "I ain't never heard the

    like."

    Simon had been accepted by Lane Institute, in Jackson, sixty miles away.

    Queen was so proud of him. "If that's your final words on the subject-" she

    began, but he was ready for her.

    "That's my final word!" He didn't give her a chance to finish, but it

    wasn't the last of it.

They sucked their pipes.

"He cain't go," Alec roared, infuriated by the silence.

"Uh-huh," Queen said.

    Simon would go. He had to go. It had become her dearest dream. They had

    been slaves, and now they were free, but in many ways they still thought

    like slaves. They had done well with their lives, but they still accepted

    a subsidiary place in society, and that was how it would always be, unless

    they

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 767

changed their thinking. But, oh, there was more, there had to be more. The

words of Davis rang in her ears, like a clarion call. They had to start

taking what they could get, not simply accepting what they thought they

were allowed to have. She wouldn't do it in her life, and Alec wouldn't

do it; they were old now, but the young, they could do it, if they were

given the chance, and the key to that chance was education. She thought

of Cap'n Jack, and his dreams. To live in freedom was not just a basic

right, it was also a precious gift that should be appreciated and

nurtured. It had been denied them for so long that not to take every

possible advantage of it was immoral.

    But she knew her man. It was not fair to push him, who was so generous,

    further than he could go.

"Uh-huh," she said again.

    Alec wished she would argue at least, so that he could lose his temper,

    and then it would all be over. Perhaps. But she wouldn't even discuss it.

    "Uh-huh- was all she would say to any argument he put forward.

"Dadgummit," he muttered.

    Simon was on tenterhooks about Alec's decision, but Queen had no good

    news for him. He turned his face to the wall.

11 'Tain't fair, Mammy," he said. "I can do it. I know I can."

    He was filled with self-pity, but there was something more to his

    distress, for he had a young man's dreams, a young man's zeal, and a

    young man's belief that he could change the world, and make life better

    for his people. He watched his father's friends work the land, using the

    old ways, the ways they had learned from their fathers, and their

    fathers' fathers before them, resisting change, resisting new ideas. But

    there were new ideas, and new ways to farm, and better ways to raise

    crops and make the farms more productive. Black folk wouldn't do any of

    these things unless the white folk did them first. Surely it was not

    enough to take only what the white folk were prepared to give? They had

    to start leaming for themselves, finding their own ideas, their own

    solutions. And maybe one day, they would start teaching the white folk,

    in return.

- 'Tain't fair," he said again.

    "I know, boy, I know." Queen stroked his hair. "And it ain't over yet."

768 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    It took Alec a week to change his mind. He talked about it with some of his

    friends on the ferryboat, and while none of them had ever heard of a nigger

    boy going to high school, they were all impressed that Simon had the

    chance.

    He talked about it with his other children, with Minnie and Julie, who were

    married and starting families of their own, and they thought he was being

    an old stick-in-the-mud.

    He talked about it with Freeland, who had hated school, but was right proud

    of Simon, and thought he'd be useless on the farm anyway-his head was

    always stuck in some book.

    He talked about it with George, who thought it was a fantastic opportunity.

    George had no leaming, but admired those who did.

    He didn't talk about it with Mr. Cherry when they went fishing, because he

    wasn't sure that Mr. Cherry would be on his side, but he couldn't get the

    matter off his mind, and the fish weren't biting.

    "Dadgummit," Alec muttered in frustration. "I must be gettin' old."

    Mr. Cherry knew exactly what the matter was. Dora had seen to that.

    "Yes, you are," he said. "Old and crotchety, and you've no idea what the

    modem world is coming to. I feel the same way.

    He bided his time, because he knew it was a momentous decision for Alec.

    "Black boy going to high school," Mr. Cherry said. "I never heard the like.

    It'll be college next."

    The words struck home to Alec. He hadn't thought that far ahead, but it was

    obvious once it was said.

    "But then again," Mr. Cherry added, "if he can do itwhy not?"

Alec had no argument against that.

"Dadgummit," he said.

He called Simon to him, but would not let Queen be present. She sat outside

on her rocker, and heard every word through the open window.

    Alec wasn't sure where to start. He adopted what he hoped was his most

    commanding presence, and made a little speech

    A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 769

about Simon being way past the age when he should be working, and he

wasn't working and he should be.

    11 Yes, Pa," Simon said dutifully, with no idea where it was going.

    "You'd pro'bly be useless on the farm anyway, with your head always stuck

    in a book," Alec continued, finding his stride, and Simon dared to hope.

    "But we gotta do somethin' with you, so I'm sendin' you to high school

    whether you like it or whether you don't," Alec announced, as if it was

    all his idea.

    Simon closed his eyes, and breathed a silent prayer of thanks.

    "Yes, Pa," he said, very carefully, anxious not to offend his father, in

    case he changed his mind. "Thank you, Pa."

    Alec grunted. It was done. For better or worse, it was done. He made a

    fatherly speech about Simon being young and a long way from home, and not

    to get into any trouble with girls.

    Then he took fifty dollars from his pocket. It was the biggest sum of

    money Simon had ever seen.

    "Only the good Lord knows what this thing is gwine cost," Alec said, "an'

    I ain't made of money. I'm giving you fifty dollars, an' that's it, there

    ain't no more. You've got this durned scholarship thing, so I ain't

    spendin' one cent more than this fifty dollars. Anythin' else you need,

    you're gwine have to work for it. "

    He put the money in a little purse and gave it to his son. Simon could