Queen of Denial (14 page)

He had allowed Taralin to become one of those numbers, but no longer. He'd fight for her now. He would sit here with this gun, and watch out for things that wished to hurt her, and he would kill them. He wasn't going to play games. Not anymore.

"You keep scrunching your face up like that and it might become permanent," Drew said lightly.

"I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Well, mostly about you. About what I should have done. What might have made things different."

"It's about five years late for that shit now, isn't it?"

"What do I have to do to win you back?"

Drew looked only at the desert in front of her. It was a while before she answered. "I'm not a fucking trophy, Zarco. I'm not the same person you knew. In a lot of ways I don't even know who I am. And every second that I am around you, I become less and less sure that I ever knew.

"How can I really be anyone if I don't have a past? After all, a person is only the impressions their memories have left them with. Am I Taralin Zarco, or am I Drewcila Qwah? Maybe I'm a combination of both, or perhaps none of the above? Maybe I will never be whole until I somehow link the past you remember with the person I have become.

"The problem is that I was perfectly happy 'til you came along and told me that I'm not who I thought I was. For now, the only way I can stay sane is to be the only person I know how to be, Drewcila Qwah, and it would help a hell of a lot if you could accept that, and quit trying to make me over in your fucking image."

Zarco nodded and looked out at the desert through the infrared binoculars. "I keep telling myself I won't be selfish, and then I keep falling right back into the same patterns. You'll have to remember that I was taught to be selfish. I'm King, and therefore I have always had everything I wanted. I'm used to people bending to my will."

"And I am a very shrewd business woman. I am also used to people bending to my will, but only after a lot of hard work. I plan to see what's in this for me, and after all I've been through, I expect something for my efforts. If there isn't enough, then I'm outtah here."

"Then we'll have to make sure that you get just what your heart desires." Zarco smiled broadly at her, and she had to admit that she was at least a little attracted to him. She was also not awfully opposed to the idea of having everything her heart desired.

A day and a half later they crawled up out of the desert. All badly sunburned and dehydrated, they worked half-heartedly at removing the shields from the top of the transport and cutting the extensions off the tracks. Now that they were on solid ground, these things not only looked ridiculous, but made travel almost impossible. Especially the sled in the front. Essential in the sands of the desert, it had brought them to an abrupt halt the minute they had hit solid ground. As they worked, they drank freely of their water supply.

"If you hadn't been so stingy with the water rations, we might not all be suffering from dehydration right now," Facto said accusingly to Drew.

"Oh, the joys of hindsight," Drew cooed. "How did we know we wouldn't be stuck in the desert for a week? If that Hurtella had done much more damage, we could have been."

"According to the charts, we'll hit a road five miles that way," Tim announced, pointing West.

"That's the desert, monkey boy," Van said slapping his hand to his head in disbelief.

Tim smiled nervously. "I, ah, meant that way," he pointed East.

"Some navigator," Van Gar mumbled. "Navigate us right back into the desert."

"Anyone can make a mistake," Tim defended.

"Yeah, that was your mother's excuse," Van chided.

Fitz looked at the charts. "We should be able to make it all the way to the border on this road without hitting any major towns. The only problem will be the Wall."

"The Wall?" Van Gar asked as he made the last cut and the sled fell free.

"The Lockhedes' ancestors built a great Wall out of stone all around their country to keep their enemies out. The Wall is ten feet high and twenty feet wide. The gates are well guarded, and no one can get through unless they have the proper paperwork," Fitz reported.

"And what's the good news, Fitz?" Drew asked.

"We're only a six hour drive from home."

The further they got out of the desert, the prettier the countryside was, and the more vehicles they encountered. The strange vehicle drew stares, but no one had tried to detain them. Yet. The longer that lasted, the more nervous Drew became.

"How close are we to the border?"

"Two miles closer than the last time you asked," Tim answered.

"I don't pay you to be funny, asshole. Just answer my question."

"Five miles."

Without anyone saying anything, Van Gar pulled off the road to hide in the brush. He shut all the lights off.

"OK, everyone just stay here and be quiet," Drew ordered. She grabbed the laser canon and jumped out of the transport.

Van Gar grabbed his favorite rifle blaster and followed.

"Wait a minute!" Zarco ordered.

"Shut the fuck up!" Drew hissed.

"What are you doing?" Zarco asked in a whisper.

"Just stay here and shut up, or bigger than shit you'll get us all killed. Just trust me."

She and Van Gar strode off into the night, walking towards the road. When they reached it, they hid themselves behind a pile of brush.

"So, do you think he does?" Van Gar asked.

"Think he does what?"

"Trust you?"

"If he does, he's a bigger fool then I think he is," she smiled at him. "I think I see lights."

They watched the road.

"What do you think?" Drew asked.

"Too small. There are six of us."

"Seven."

"I was hoping we could leave the monkey boy here."

"Here comes another one . . . too small. Maybe we'll have to leave the monkey boy. Here comes another one. Come on, let's move."

They ran into the road with their guns at the ready, and the car screeched to a stop.

"Get out of the car! Slowly!"

"Why?" the driver screamed back.

Drew looked at Van Gar, who shrugged.

"Because we have really big guns and if you don't, we're going to blast your ass away," Drew answered.

"Oh." The driver got out of the car. "In that case." To their dismay and surprise, he opened fire on them.

"Fuck me!" Drew fired without thinking, and the driver landed some ten feet behind the car. "I'll move the car, and you get the body. Quick, before another car comes!"

Drew moved the car up behind the transport while Van Gar hid the body. He met them all at the car.

"What now? We still don't have any papers," Facto said. "Lockhede is not going to let anyone enter Gildart without the right paperwork."

"Oh they want paper work, I'm so scared," Drewcila said facetiously."Lockhede isn't guarding the gate, a bunch of guards are. Chances are that only one of them asks to see paperwork. He's the only one we have to get past. The only one we have to convince," Drew said with a smile.

"And just how are you going to convince him without paperwork?"

Drew pulled a big wad of currency out of her pocket. "Inter-Galactic Dollars—IGDs. You can't trace them, and there isn't a bank in the galaxy that won't take them as easily as gold."

"You think you can pay the guard off, and he'll let us pass just like that?" Facto shook his head in disbelief. "Not everyone puts as much importance in money as you do, Qwah."

"That's Queen to you, dick head. Listen. You rich fucks don't get it because you ain't ever been hungry. That guard up there probably has a wife and kids, an aged mother, and a worthless brother he's trying to support. If I wave a year's pay under his nose, he has two choices. He can shaft himself and his family, or he can let a car full of people go through without their paperwork."

"He'd be a traitor to his country!"

"Why? Because he let us into Gildart? You aren't even at war anymore. Why should he care?"

Facto started to say more.

"It's real simple, Fucktoad. If money doesn't work, we kill him and hope we can get out of there before the other guards start firing on us," Drew said emphasizing her words by checking her weapon over carefully.

"So if you can't buy it, kill it. Is that your answer to everything?" Facto asked. "Pay it off or kill it . . ."

"Enough Facto!" Zarco ordered. "You are wasting our time. We don't really have any other choice."

They held their breath as Drew braked the car to a stop at the guard gate.

"Nice limo," the guard said.

"How would you like to have one just like it?" Drew asked with a smile.

"That would be great. Could I see your paperwork, please?"

Drew held out a bunch of iggys. The guard's eyes got huge.

"Ah, is that what I think it is, ma'am?"

Drew smiled sweetly back."If you think it's a bribe, then the answer would be yes."

"How much is there?"

"Two hundred."

He took the wad of bills, looked around quickly, and stuck it in his pocket. "Well, boys, this one's paperwork seems to be in order. Go on with you, now, and have a good trip."

They didn't breathe till the guard post was out of sight.

"I can't believe a man would sell his country out for two hundred IGDs!" Facto said in disbelief.

Stasha laughed for the first time in days. "You know," she said to Drew, "I really think he would have preferred to have us all shot through the head than admit that you were right."

"Nonsense!" Facto shot back. "I simply can't believe that the Lockhedes have so little pride in country."

They were stopped at the Gildart border. "I'll need to see your paperwork," the guard on duty said.

"Why, you insolent pig!" Facto sputtered."Do you not know who he is?"

"Please," Drew held up her hand. "Allow me, Factub." She held out another two hundred IGDs.

"Their paperwork seems to be in order!" The guard grabbed the money. "You may pass, and have a safe trip."

They all laughed as they drove away. All except Facto.

"I can't believe it. We have no protection at our borders. Anyone with a few hundred IGDs can just walk right into our country. Drug dealers, smugglers, spies, revolutionaries, and murderers. We need to fire that man. We need to crack down on all our guards. Make higher standards, make the test harder, make . . ."

"How much do you pay your gate guards?" Van Gar asked.

"A decent wage," Facto said.

"Compared to what—starvation?" Drew laughed.

"What's your point?" Facto asked Van Gar.

"My point is that it's hard to have any loyalty to a system of government that only throws you enough crumbs to exist. If you want decent gate guards, I suggest you make the wages high enough that an ambitious man would want to do it. Make them high enough that he feels he owes you loyalty."

"Nonsense!" Facto huffed, and was silent the rest of the trip.

The city lights were the first thing they saw. Stasha started to cry. "If I never leave home again, it will be too soon."

Drew watched as the Barions became downright giddy with excitement. The sad thing was that she looked at the lights of the city ahead and felt no more feeling of home-coming than the Chitzky or the human. It was just a place, like so many places she had been to. One more place that she didn't know.

"I can't wait till Mother and Father see you," Stasha said, patting her sister on the shoulder.

Panic weld up inside Drew. She had parents, too. She was just getting used to the idea that she was related to Stasha. In fact while she wouldn't admit it if asked, she was starting to like Stasha. She had expected Stasha to get hysterical several times during the past few days. She had expected her to slow them down and whine, but Stasha had toughed it out. For the most part without bitching. Drew saw a lot of her own characteristics in her sibling. In spite of herself, she felt close to Stasha, as if there really were a bond between them.

"I think we can safely call the palace and tell them we're coming in now," Zarco said.

He found the communicator in the back of the limo. After several tries, he managed to get through.

As they neared the palace, they encountered people rioting in the streets. The military met them, and pushed the crowds back so that they could get through.