Quest for the Sun Orb (46 page)

She was so soft, so sweet, so hot, that his entire body shuddered as her tongue tangled delicately with his.  He turned his head just a bit, adjusting the angle so that he could kiss her more deeply.  He felt her small hands against his chest, and groaned.  He had never imagined such need could exist, had never felt anything like he felt at that moment.  As though his entire life had come down to this one woman, this special, never to be forgotten day, this first kiss between them as husband and wife.

Tiari felt so many things all at once it was overwhelming.  Her mind, heart, and body were so full she couldn’t decide what to focus on.  Finally she decided not to think of anything.  She would follow Karma’s advice to relax, feel, and trust her new husband.

Tomas rested his forehead against hers while they both struggled to catch their breath.  “Would you like some wine?” he asked.

“The fermented juice?” Tiari asked, wrinkling her nose.

“Yes,” Tomas said, smiling.  “It will help you to relax.”

“Is it necessary?” Tiari asked doubtfully.

“No, love, it is not necessary,” Tomas said.  “It might be helpful though.”

“Why?” she asked, curious as ever.

“I know that Karma explained the physical aspects of what we will do this night,” he said. 

“Yes, she did,” Tiari replied, blushing a very becoming shade of pink.

“It can be difficult for a woman the first time,” Tomas said.  “Much care must be taken to prepare her, otherwise she may experience pain.”

“Karma said that some degree of pain the first time is expected,” Tiari said. 

“Yes, but the intensity of the pain can be controlled to some extent,” Tomas said.  “It is my duty, and my desire, to see to it that you experience as little pain as possible.”

“And drinking fermented juice will aid in this?” she asked.

“It may help you to relax,” Tomas said again.  “Relaxing is crucial for you.  The more relaxed you are, the more pleasure you will experience, and the less pain you will feel.”

“Very well, Husband,” she said.  “I will follow your advice.”

Tomas laughed in surprise at the sound of his new title.  “Do you know, Wife, that I spent many years working hard to attain the rank of knight so that I would be addressed as
Sir
.  And yet, hearing you call me
Husband
just now brought me more pleasure and happiness than all of the times I’ve ever been called
Sir
combined.  I’m afraid you shall have to call me Husband often.”

“As long as you frequently call me
Wife
, I don’t think that will be a hardship,” Tiari said, her eyes shining. 

He got to his feet and poured two glasses of the wine Zakiel had presented him with earlier as a wedding gift.  He gave one glass to Tiari, and knelt down on the floor again in front of her.

“May I ask you a question?” Tiari asked after sipping her wine. 

“Of course,” Tomas said.  “You may ask me anything you like.”

“This is not really any of my business,” Tiari said hesitantly.  “I have struggled with this ever since Karma explained...certain things to me.  One day I decide it is not my concern, that I have no right to ask.  The next day, I feel differently.  Now that we are here, before we...go further, I find that I must know.”

“Ask your question, Tiari,” Tomas said, a cold feeling of dread creeping up his spine.  He had been truly afraid of only one thing this night.  He now saw it coming straight at him, and there was nothing he could do to avoid it.

“This act which we are about to engage in,” she said, then paused, her cheeks going pink again.  “I’m sorry, I do not know what it is called.”

“We will discuss that later, my love,” he said.  “Please, go on.”

“Have you done this before, Tomas?” she asked, her voice starting out normal and dropping to a whisper on the last word, his name.

Tomas felt a sharp stab of guilt and accepted it as his due.  He did not want to hurt Tiari, but he would not lie to her.  “Yes, I have.”

The expression of pain on her face made him wish he’d lied, after all.

“You have loved another woman?” she asked.

“No,” he replied firmly.  “I have never loved another woman, Tiari mine.  You are the only woman I have ever loved, the only one I ever will love.”

“Then, why?” she asked in surprised confusion.  “Was there another woman you wished to share children with?”

“No, never,” he said, trying to think of a way to explain.  He realized that he could give her a simple explanation, and an apology, and she would accept it without question.  Tiari was generous in her forgiveness.  But he wanted her to understand him, and for that she needed to know the truth.

“I wanted to feel loved,” he said, the words nearly choking him as he forced them from his lips.  Once they were out, he had to pause a moment to compose himself.  “I could give you a long story, and a string of excuses, but in the end, that’s the truth of it.  I wanted to feel loved, even if it was for only a few moments with someone I barely knew, and would never see again.”

Tomas drained his glass, then stood up to refill it.  “It didn’t work, of course.  I wonder now how I could have been so foolish as to think it would.  After a few tries, I gave up, and have not repeated the experience.  I was seventeen then, so that was twelve years ago.”

“What if you are disappointed again, with me?” Tiari asked nervously.

Tomas returned to kneel before her and took her hands carefully in his.  “That can’t happen, Tiari-
mena.”

“
How do you know?”

“I’m a good deal older now, and much wiser,” Tomas said.  “I’ve spent years searching for answers.  I haven’t found all of them, but I have learned a few things along the way.”

“Such as?”

“For one thing, I’ve learned that having sex with a person you don’t love is a purely physical act that results in momentary physical pleasure.  Like drinking a cup of stale, warm water when you are thirsty.  It suffices to ease the thirst, but no more than that.

“On the other hand, sex with someone you love, the one person in all the world who means the most to you, that is a far different thing.” 

“In what way?” Tiari asked, intrigued.

“What we do will not be a quick coming together of the body,” Tomas said, his voice taking on a note of wonder.  “When we join together, Tiari-
mena
, it will be with our hearts, minds, and souls, as well as our bodies.  We will connect with each other in a way that only two people who truly love each other can achieve.  It will change us a little more each and every time we join, bringing us closer and closer together until we are intertwined so tightly with one another that we can never be separated again.  Not in this life, nor in the beyond.”

“That sounds beautiful Tomas,” Tiari whispered.  “I want that, very much.” 

“So do I, Tiari mine,” Tomas said earnestly.  “I am more sorry than I can tell you for what I did.  Once I understood the truth, once I knew the deeper meanings of sex with love, I did wait for you.  Is that enough?  Will you forgive me?”

“Forgive you for wanting to feel loved?” Tiari asked, caressing his cheek with gentle fingers.  “I know what it is to want love, Tomas.  I know what it is to
need
love, and to have that need go unfulfilled.  I will forgive you, if you want me to, but I do not see a need for it.  Wanting to be loved requires no forgiveness.”

“Thank you,” Tomas said.  “You are very generous.  Maybe too generous.” 

Tiari tilted her head slightly, hearing the guilt and regret that lingered in his voice.  “Tomas, tell me, if I had been with another, in that way, would you no longer want me?”

Tomas clenched his teeth together and bit back a growl at the thought of his Tiari with another man.  She tugged at her hands and he immediately eased his grip and bent to kiss them in apology. 

“I will not pretend that the idea of anyone else touching you isn’t...difficult,” he said.  “But it would not change my feelings for you.  Yes, Tiari, I would still want you.  I will always want you, throughout this life, and whatever comes next.”

Tiari smiled with relief, then another thought occurred to her.  “Tomas, what would you do if something happened to me?  If I died, I mean.”

Tomas shuddered.  “Please do not tempt fate so, my love,” he whispered hoarsely.  “I cannot think of such a thing.  We have come too close to it already.”

“When my father died, I was too young to remember him,” Tiari said.  She knew he didn’t want to discuss this, but it was too important to her to drop now that it had come up.  “But I remember my mother, and how sad she always was.  When she became ill, I knew, even as young as I was at the time, that she welcomed it.  She no longer wished to live in a world without the man she loved, not even for me.”

“I am sorry,” Tomas said, feeling her pain. 

“Should we have a child, Tomas, and something happens to me, I must know that you will not abandon our child for any reason.”

For the second time, Tomas wanted to refuse a request from Tiari.  The first had been to let her cross a moat of molten rock.  This one was no less difficult for him.  “That is a lot to ask,” he said.  He felt Tiari stiffen and thought of the lonely, sad existence her childhood had been, and relented.  “I promise, Tiari,” he said reluctantly.  “I will wait until any children we are blessed with are grown and safe before following you into the beyond.”

Tiari wanted to object.  He could feel it.  “My love,” he said.  “I beg you, do not ask more of me, for I cannot give it.”

She reached up and brushed her fingers lightly along his jaw.  “It is enough.”

Tomas lowered his head and claimed her mouth with sudden need, his heart pounding with fear at the thought of losing her.  He needed to feel her heat, taste her, smell her, touch her, prove that she was there, vital and alive, with him in the here and now. 

The soft, low sound of her moan sent him close to the edge.  Too close.  He raised his head, panting, his eyes closed as he fought to control his desire. 

Tiari shivered, but not from cold.  Her body felt hot and liquid, her skin so sensitive that she was suddenly hyper-aware of the light silky fabric of her gown and robe rubbing against her.  When Tomas released her and stood up, she felt a sudden sense of loss.  She whimpered softly before she could stop herself, but Tomas did not leave her.  He bent down and lifted her into his arms, then crossed the room and set her on the edge of the bed which, since it was built for one of the tall Argiari, was high enough that she was almost eye to eye with him as he stood before her.

He placed his hands lightly on her shoulders, then ran them slowly down her arms, leaving pebbled flesh in their wake.  He reached for the belt of her robe and untied it.  When he pushed the robe back and let it fall from her shoulders to the bed, she bit her lip nervously.  She wore only a light silky gown that Karma had gifted her with for this night, and she remembered clearly how translucent, and short, it was, revealing far more of her body than it hid.

After a long silence she felt Tomas’s hands at her waist, bunching the fabric in his fists.  “I need to see you completely, Tiari,” he said, his voice harsh with need.  “Please?”  She nodded slowly, ignoring the heat in her cheeks.  Tomas wanted this, and she wanted to give him whatever he wanted.

Tomas leaned down to kiss her again, his lips lingering on hers as he slowly slid the gown up her body.  She raised her arms and he pulled it off over her head in a quick motion, then dropped it to the floor.  She heard him suck in a breath and tried to interpret the meaning of it.

“Damn,” he gritted out between clenched teeth as he stepped back and let his eyes feast upon her body for the first time.  “You are magnificent, Tiari mine.” 

Tiari relaxed a little.  She knew she was still too thin, and a bit too pale, but she could not deny the stark honesty in his voice.

“My turn,” she said, her voice trembling.  She heard him moving, the sound of his boots hitting the floor, the slide of cloth on skin as he undressed and dropped his clothes as he had his boots.  Then she felt the heat of his body as he stood before her once more.  She reached out tentatively, pleased when he took her hands and placed them against his chest.  Since she could not see him, she would feel him. 

Tomas gritted his teeth, his body tensing at the feel of her small, soft hands on his skin.  He shuddered as she slid her hands down his chest, pausing to explore his nipples, which hardened at her touch.  They slid further down, across his abdomen, her sensitive fingertips tracing the hard ridges of muscle, pausing for a moment to delve into his belly button before going lower still.  When one hand brushed the thick, throbbing head of his cock, she froze.  He jerked, then bit back a groan.  That single, almost accidental touch, had nearly ended things before they truly began. 

Tiari’s breath sped up, her lower lip caught between her small white teeth as she wrestled with indecision.  He watched her face, smiling with pride when she made up her mind to be bold and take what she wanted from her husband.  Then her hands deliberately returned to his cock. 

She ran her fingers around the tip, pausing to explore the small slit and the drop of moisture she found there.  Then slowly, so slowly Tomas wasn’t sure he’d live through it, she explored the full length of his heavy member, tracing each pulsing vein, leaving velvet fire in her wake.  By the time her fingers reached the base Tomas knew he could stand no more.

He reached down and pulled her hands away from him, his breath coming in harsh gasps.  “I’m sorry, my love,” he said when he could speak.  “I’m afraid that I cannot take more of your touch at the moment.”

“Did I hurt you?” Tiari asked, frightened she had done something wrong.  Tomas’s laugh was rueful.

“No, you did not hurt me,” he said.  “Quite the opposite.  I am so excited that I am afraid my body will get carried away before you are ready for me.”

Tiari didn’t understand most of what he said, but she understood enough to know that he enjoyed her touch.  That was a relief because she very much enjoyed the sensations that had run through her own body while she touched his.