Quest (Shifter Island Book 4) (7 page)

The barn was just as she remembered it: tilting badly to one side, chunks of the roof missing, its once-red paint now rusty where there was any paint left at all. All around it, the weeds had grown at least knee-high. There’d been a house nearby at some point, Allison supposed, but it was long gone. Burned to the ground, maybe. Who had once lived here, she had no idea.

Kids came out here sometimes to drink and smoke and cause trouble, but there was no one here now.

“It’s a sad place,” Luca said a minute after she’d shut off the engine of her little rented car.

He got out of the car slowly, unfolding himself like a baby giraffe. Although the car had a reasonable amount of head room, it had seemed to crowd him, as if she’d locked him inside a cage. Once he was out, he seemed more relaxed, and by the time she’d reached his side he seemed loose and reasonably calm.

He spent a while looking around, absorbing his surroundings. She didn’t interrupt him; she felt bad for having cooped him up inside the car for almost half an hour, and thought she should let him unwind however he thought best.

“Fire,” he said finally.

“Fire?”

“Hmm.” He pointed. “The hearth is there. You can see it through the weeds. And some bricks from the chimney.”

For a moment she wanted to ask him if anyone had been hurt, or killed. Then she chided herself.
He doesn’t read minds. He’s not… He wouldn’t know that stuff any more than you do. He’s just…

“How did you know?” he asked. “About the wolf.”

“It’s true, then?”

He grunted softly. “I wanted to tell you. During my Involvement, when we were together. I spent many nights wondering how I could tell you. How I should approach it. It’s not something you can introduce easily.”

“And then we… left each other.”

“How did you know? Did someone—”

She could see understanding take shape in his eyes. He knew something had changed during her trip to the ladies’ room, during that time she’d spent with Julie. They’d been in there for a good fifteen minutes, maybe a little longer. That was enough time for a lot of revelations.

She could see, too, that he wasn’t happy with what he’d realized.

“Did you say anything to Julie?” he asked with an edge to his voice. “Have you told anyone else?”

“No. Nothing. No one.”

“It can’t be common knowledge, Allison.”

In the fading light, he seemed to grow taller, sturdier. But there was a note of fear in his voice, one she’d never heard before. She’d seen him grow nervous and ill at ease, had seen him lose his temper a time or two, grow frustrated or confused. But she’d never seen him display even the smallest bit of fear.

He looked off down the road, the way they’d come. There wasn’t much traffic out this way; they’d only passed half a dozen cars the whole trip. But people did live out here. There were a couple of small farms a mile or so farther down the road, and a cluster of houses maybe a mile beyond that. It was certainly possible someone would come along and see them. Whether they’d stop was another question.

Did she
want
someone to see them?

No, she told herself. This was the most remote place she knew that was anywhere near the college. She’d suggested they come here so they could be alone. Where they could make noise, and no one would hear.

Without saying anything, he turned away from her and strode over to the barn. The double doors weren’t closed tight; they were hanging loose on their hinges, with enough of a gap between them that he was able to walk inside what was left of the structure without opening or moving anything.

“Come with me,” he said over his shoulder a moment before he disappeared inside the barn.

She strained her ears, listening for the sound of a car, for any sign of life, but she heard nothing. A flutter of color caught her eye: a crumpled potato chip bag, blown up against the wall of the barn. It was bright enough, new enough, that she didn’t think it had been there long. So someone had been here recently. Or maybe it had simply been blown out of a car window.

More than a little uneasy, she followed Luca into the barn and found him already stripped to the waist. She stood watching as he pulled off his shoes and set them aside, then unzipped his jeans and stepped out of them. He never wore any underwear; taking the jeans off left him fully naked.

A beam of pale sunlight falling through a gap in the barn wall made him look otherworldly, ghost-like.

And incredibly beautiful.

Then, time seemed to slow down.

He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Stretched his arms out long, fingers spread, reaching for something she couldn’t see. That beam of light fell on his exposed throat, and for a moment she thought she could see his pulse throbbing just underneath his jawline.

He crouched, lowering his body toward the floor and leaning forward bit by bit until his hands were resting on the ground.

Because she’d never seen a wolf actually transform, she’d thought it might be something like a magic trick: that in the blink of an eye, the man would be gone and the wolf would appear. But it wasn’t like that at all.

Inch by inch, the wolf seemed to push out through Luca’s skin. His arms and legs contorted; his body grew narrower and longer; fur sprouted all over him. Throughout the process, he breathed in big huffs—to Allison, it sounded like someone preparing to dead-lift several hundred pounds. It was clearly something very difficult that he needed to endure.

Then it was over, and the wolf stood there blinking at her, observing her with what seemed to be curiosity.

Part of her wanted to be afraid, because the animal was so large and so obviously powerful. Because she knew that it was Luca—some form of Luca—she was almost certain that it wouldn’t harm her, but it was intimidating nevertheless. It needed to be, of course; it was a predator. A wolf who was weak or timid would never survive in the wild.

Slowly, she knelt down on the dusty floor and laid her trembling hands on her thighs.

“Will you let me touch you?” she asked quietly.

The wolf padded over and sat in front of her, within easy reach. She had to take a couple of breaths to steady herself before she could extend her hand, and another one before she could rest her hand on the animal’s dark, rich fur. It wasn’t soft, exactly; the individual hairs on top were long and coarse, but when she dug her fingertips in a little deeper, she found a layer of softer, thicker fur.

It—he—was beautiful.

And inside it somewhere…

Allison lowered her head and rested it on the wolf’s shoulder. Something had made her curious about how it would smell. Like a dog, she thought, and that was partly true. Beyond that, it smelled… clean. Natural. A good smell, something that seemed familiar and reliable and safe.

“Did you think I’d be freaked out?” she asked.

The wolf cocked its head.

Allison sat back on her haunches so she could see its face—
his
face, she told herself—and knew without a doubt that it was Luca looking back at her, answering her question without saying anything. Yes, he’d been worried. That was why he’d waited so long.

He would have gone on waiting, if this hadn’t happened.

“I have a… a secret too,” she told him. “Really, it’s their secret, and I shouldn’t say anything.”

The wolf frowned at her.

“My neighbors,” she admitted. Then caution nudged at her again, and she pressed her lips shut. But wasn’t this a completely different thing? She wasn’t telling other humans, putting Helene and Russell’s safety at risk. Luca was another wolf. Another one of their kind. “The people who live down the road from me,” she said before she could re-think the situation. “I found out a while ago. They’re wolves too.”

For a minute, the wolf simply blinked at her. What he might be thinking, she couldn’t tell.

Then he stepped backwards, putting a few feet of space between them, and shifted back into a man.

“How long have you known?” he asked. “About me.”

She looked away for a moment, as if she was ashamed to confess. “Just now,” she said. “Tonight.”

“You didn’t know before.”

“No.”

He thought his father might have something to say about all of this. Certainly the elders would, and some of the other males in the pack. Could his bond with Allison be genuine, if she hadn’t realized he too was a wolf, even though she knew other wolves? And if he hadn’t realized that she’d been around other wolves?

He resisted the urge to sniff her, to search for their scent.

Other males? Had they coupled with her, or at least tried to?

Thoughts, images, ideas… all tumbling through his mind like birds caught up in a storm. He wanted badly to escape through that gap in the back wall of the barn, shift back into his wolf form and run until his thoughts began to straighten themselves out—or until he collapsed from exhaustion.

“Who are they?” he asked again. “These neighbors.”

“They’re an older couple. A man and a woman. They’re very kind and generous. They’re quiet, though. They keep to themselves a lot. When I—” Allison paused, cupping her head in her hands as if she wanted to squeeze something out of it. “That made sense, after I found out what they were. Are.”

“They told you?”

“No. I… saw a wolf one night. Then I saw my neighbor. At first I thought I was dreaming, but it went on for too long. I watched her walk around in the moonlight. Naked.”

She smiled a little. Nervously, Luca thought.

“I started watching for them, late at night. I saw them twice more. I didn’t see them change. They always found cover for that. But that was the only explanation. And one day, I… I asked them.”

“As you’ve asked me.”

Dangerous
, he thought. Even if they’d known Allison for some time. Although he was taking the same risk.

No. Not the same. She was his
mate
.

“Only two?” he asked.

Allison’s shoulders twitched. “They live alone. They have a son, but he’s moved away. He doesn’t live with them any more.”

It had been many hours since he’d eaten. He’d been a little lightheaded to begin with, and now, after shifting twice within just a few minutes, his body felt cold and hard to control. The wolf nudged at him to find food, but he didn’t think there was anything nearby.

Rather than take the risk of losing control to the animal—who would go in search of food whether Luca wanted to or not—he sat down on his discarded clothes to rest and think.

“They have no pack?” he asked Allison without lifting his head.

She knelt in front of him and touched his face. “You don’t look well. Maybe we should go back.”

“I need food.”

“And we didn’t have dinner. I’m sorry.”

“Is there food nearby?”

“We’ll find some. But you should get dressed first.”

She found a small store a short distance away, one that sold sandwiches and a variety of things to drink. Without asking what he wanted, she ran inside and came back out with a sackful of food. Two big roast beef sandwiches. Some orange juice. Several bananas.

And a salad. “I’m hungry too,” she told him.

They sat in the parking lot and ate, with the strange bluish light from the storefront spilling into the car. The roast beef was very salty, and otherwise mostly flavorless, but he devoured the sandwiches without giving them much thought. The juice tasted good, quenching a thirst that was worse than he’d realized.

Allison picked at her salad and drank some of another bottle of juice.

“Do you want more?” she asked when the second sandwich was gone. “Something different? They have other kinds. You can go in and look. They really have a lot to choose from.”

He shook his head. “I feel better now.”

But he had to wonder how disappointed his father would be in him, if he could see what was happening. If he knew that Luca had stumbled around blindly, concerned only with claiming his mate—the woman he thought he had a true bond with—and not taking the time to learn where she’d gone and what she’d done since they’d parted four years ago…

Who were these wolves she was all but living with? Had they claimed her in some way?

“You’re still pale,” Allison said.

He was his father’s oldest son. If he returned to the island and remained there with the pack, he would one day become head of their family, when his father passed on to the land of the gods. One day, he might well become an elder. One day, maybe, the alpha.

But here he was, trembling inside a small rented car in the parking lot of something called a Quik-E-Mart.

Had this all been a mistake?

Should he have taken Katrin as his mate and forgotten about Allison? She was just a human, after all. Not a wolf. Not one of his kind.

He was trying to think of something to say when Allison’s phone buzzed inside her purse. She hesitated for a moment, then set aside her bottle of juice and fished the phone out of her bag.

He understood from the few words that she said that the caller was Julie, that Julie was concerned about both of them. Allison told her almost nothing; she made no promises, other than that she still planned to attend the wedding on Saturday. That seemed to be less than Julie had hoped for, but Allison gently refused to commit to anything other than the wedding.

“I’m a terrible maid of honor,” she said after she had put the phone back in her bag. “She’s going to hate me. She should have picked somebody else. Somebody more reliable.”

Then she looked steadily at Luca, and waited.

“This didn’t happen when I was here before,” he said after a minute, looking out the front window of the car at the rows of boxes and jars and cans inside the store. “At first, I did feel overwhelmed by everything around me, but I… learned. About humans. About what was expected of me. I was all right by the time I met you. I never felt as if I belonged, but I didn’t feel like I do now.”

“How do you feel now?” she asked softly.

“As if I very much want to go home. I want to see my family. I want to be among familiar things.”

He would even submit to being chastised by his father, he thought. He would listen to whatever his father cared to say, as long as he could then go to sleep in his own bed and wake up to the good smells of his mother’s cooking and the sound of her voice. His brother wouldn’t be there—he would have moved into the cabin with Abby by now—but he would be nearby.

All the wolves he knew would be nearby.

“I think it would be better if you do what Julie would like you to do,” he said, aware that his voice wasn’t steady. “Tomorrow. Whatever it is that you were supposed to do. I would—I would like some time to think about all of this.”

He risked a glance at Allison. She was frowning.

“All right,” she said.

“I am not rejecting you. I am not ‘breaking up,’ as we did before. I would just like to sleep, and let the wolf guide me. I think you would say, this is all moving very fast. That’s something that human women say, isn’t it? I’ve seen it in the movies. You don’t like it when things move very fast.”

She had picked up the bottle of juice and was turning it around and around in her hands.

“Is that wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she murmured. “It’s not wrong.”

“Are you upset that I would like to spend a little time alone? I won’t leave. I will be there when you come back. Although… it would be good if we could find another place to sleep. One that doesn’t smell bad.”

She made a small squeaking sound. It wasn’t exactly a laugh.

“That’s fine,” she said. “Really. It’s fine. I have a lot to think about, too. I think you’re right. I should keep my promise to Julie. She’s counting on me to do what I promised.”

There was a picture on the label of the bottle of juice. It caught his eye as she kept turning the bottle: snow-capped mountains, much taller than anything he had ever seen.

It reminded him of something she’d said a while ago, that her new home was in the mountains.

That she could look out her window and see the mountains.

Could she have…

No, that couldn’t be true.

But what if it was?

“Where do you live?” he whispered, almost certain that he didn’t want to hear the answer. “This place you moved to, to take that good job—where is it?”

“Outside of Denver,” she said.

“And where is that?”

He truly didn’t want to hear the answer, but he knew what it would be.

Somehow, he knew she would tell him that she had chosen to live in the worst of all possible places, the place he wanted never, ever to set eyes on.

The place no wolf ever wanted to set eyes on.

“It’s in Colorado,” she told him.

Colorado.

The place where wolves were sent to die.