Questing (Cosmis Connections, Book One) (38 page)

For the zillionth time, Kiley asked herself what she’d done. She loved Jordan. She knew it even when she’d been telling him to go. Somehow the ridiculous doubts that had started outside the police station had mushroomed until she lost touch with her heart, not to mention her mind. She’d heard herself accusing Jordan of enjoying the way he’d hurt Malcolm and hadn’t been able to stop herself.

Now, seeing Brett only made Kiley more certain of how wrong she’d been. Jordan hit Malcolm to defend himself. He’d gotten into that car to protect her, not because he’d wanted to. Jordan wasn’t the monster her fears had twisted him into. If anything, she was the monster. She took the selfless love offered by a truly good man and turned it into something sordid and ugly. She threw it back in his face and refused to talk to him. She hadn’t even shown him any common courtesy or decency to listen when he tried to explain what had happened with Malcolm. Instead, she’d made it sound like she’d had sex with him just so he’d help her out of that situation and once he had, she considered the return favor complete. How he must hate her!

Kiley watched as Dee picked up the item Brett left at the table and opened it. When Henry took it out of her hands and motioned for Kiley to follow, she felt even worse. In the months that Jordan and Brett had eaten lunch at Mr. Paul’s, they’d both become part of the group, part of Henry’s substitute family. She’d ruined that too.

“Kiley.” Henry closed the door to his office behind them. He propped Brett’s sketch on the desk. “Tell me, what do you see when you look at this? Ignore the fact that it’s a drawing of you. Tell me what you know just by looking at it.”

“Henry, I can’t…” Kiley felt tears in her eyes.

“Sure you can. I just want to know if you see the same thing I see.” He tried to keep his tone pleasant.

“I… Well… I guess…” She took a deep breath and fought to steady her voice. “I see two people in love.”

“Huh.” Henry studied the sketch again. “Yep. That’s what I see too. What I find amazing is the accuracy in Brett’s details. Yesterday, a mere twenty-four hours ago, you and Jordan looked at each other exactly like that. Now, rumor has it you broke it off with him. I’m sure you have your reasons but I need to ask you this anyway. Do you know what you’re doing? Are you sure you gave this enough thought? Maybe I’m wrong but he seemed like a real good guy to me.”

“I don’t know anything anymore, Henry. But, if it’s okay, can I get back to work now?”

“Why don’t you take off and go see him instead? Maybe talk about whatever happened?”

“There’s nothing more to say after yesterday but thank you for the offer.” She obviously wanted to escape from his office and stay busy.

“All right, Kiley. You know best. If you change your mind though, just say so.” He watched as she pulled herself together. “Don’t forget to take this home with you when you’re done today,” Henry said in a way that told Kiley not to argue.

* * * * *

Brett walked into Jordan’s office but only Dwight was there. “Jordan around?”

Dwight nodded. “He’s upstairs. I haven’t seen him today but every now and then I think I can hear him. It sounds kinda like he’s smashing things. What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure yet but I recommend giving him some space.”

“He didn’t go to lunch today. Did something happen with Kiley?”

“That’s my guess but like I said, you might want to steer clear of him today, okay?”

“No problem. Let me know if I can help.”

“Thanks, Dwight but I doubt there’s anything we’ll be able to do.”

Brett found Jordan on the balcony off the kitchen in the back of the house. There was a bottle of scotch on the table next to his coffee cup. Wordlessly, Brett poured himself some coffee and went out to join his friend. He sat and waited for Jordan to speak.

“Hey,” Jordan finally acknowledged Brett without looking at him.

“Want to tell me about it?” Brett asked quietly.

“I guess I should have called you,” he stated flatly.

“You could have, anytime.”

“Was she there?”

“Yeah. She was busy when I walked in so I went and sat where we usually do.”

“She talk to you?”

“No. When she turned around and saw me, she got very pale and panicked-looking. Dee told me.”

“Told you what?”

“That she was surprised to see me since Kiley ended it with you yesterday.” He waited but Jordan was back to staring blankly at the city. “Why didn’t you call me last night?”

“Because I still don’t believe it. I’ve been sitting here, thinking I’ll wake up and that it’s all been a nightmare. I considered drinking but I keep expecting her to call and ask me to come over.”

“Dwight thought he heard things breaking.”

“Yeah. I keep pouring shots then throwing the glass before I drink any.”

Brett peered over the edge of the balcony and saw the broken glass. Briefly, he wondered if his friend had any glasses left. “What happened?”

“Hell if I know.” Jordan picked up the bottle and stared at it like he was ready to throw it too. “I got to her apartment yesterday and she wouldn’t look at me. She wouldn’t talk or listen. She made it clear that she didn’t want me to touch her and then she spouted some bizarre mumbo jumbo and told me to leave.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Me either.” Jordan told Brett everything that Kiley had said.

“She can’t really believe that bullshit!”

“Apparently she does,” Jordan sighed tiredly. “What the hell do I do now? For the first time in my life, I don’t have a clue. I keep hearing her say it’s unfortunate that I love her and there’s absolutely nothing else in my mind. What should I do, Brett?”

“I’d give anything if I could answer that one,” Brett said sincerely. “You need to get her to talk to you.”

“She won’t. Kiley made it clear that she never wanted to see me again. She’s, in her own words, done with me.”

“Maybe you should get some sleep.”

“What if she calls? Look, I know I’m not making any sense but I can’t help it. I think my mind stopped functioning yesterday. Right now, I’m not sure if it’ll ever start again.”

“How about if I call Dee and find out if Kiley’s working all day? You could sleep until she gets off and be more alert if she wants to see you later.”

“You can’t call there. She’ll answer the phone and know it’s you.” In a gesture of pure frustration, Jordan snatched the bottle he’d just returned to the table and heaved it into the courtyard below.

“I have an idea.” Brett walked through the kitchen and opened the door that led downstairs to Jordan’s office. “Yo, Dwight. Get up here.” When Dwight appeared, Brett dialed Mr. Paul’s and handed him the phone. “Ask for Dee. Do not identify yourself.”

When he reached Dee, Dwight asked her to hold on.

“Thanks.” Brett waved him back downstairs. “Hey, Dee, its Brett but I don’t want Kiley to know I’m calling. Yeah, I’m with him. How the hell do you think he is? You got any ideas? Tell me exactly what she said. So what do you think? Is she planning on staying all day? Okay but I need you to call if that changes, even by a few minutes. He hasn’t slept and he’s afraid that if he does he’ll miss her if she calls. Yeah, that’s what I said too. Right. Thanks Dee. You too.”

Jordan continued staring blankly while Brett spoke with Dee. “Well?” he finally asked.

“Kiley waited until right before they opened and asked all the waitresses to listen for a minute. She said she’d decided not to see you anymore. She explained that she’d made a bad decision and jumped into something without thinking it through. She said it was her fault entirely for showing bad judgment in encouraging you from the start and she hoped if anyone ran into you that they would treat you with the same courtesy they always had. She stressed it wasn’t anything you did, just that she has no sense. She asked them all to bear with her for a few days until she pulled herself back to normal and thanked them in advance for not expressing their opinions or questioning her. And then she went back to work just like every other day until I walked in.”

Brett paused, debating whether or not he should mention the sketch. He decided not to. “After I left, Henry took Kiley into his office and tried to convince her to talk to you. She refused and was escaping when Dee cornered her. She asked Kiley for more details, thinking she had the right, due to their friendship but all Kiley would tell her was that it was wrong of her to get involved with you. She insisted that she should have realized that instead of being flattered by your attention.

“Dee’s afraid to push more today because she doesn’t want to alienate her. She thinks there’s something going on in Kiley’s mind that’s out of whack and that eventually, she’ll work it out and come running back to you. Dee’s not sure Kiley will know what to do once it registers how much she hurt you but said she’ll keep trying to get her to see you.

“Dee also said to tell you she knows Kiley loves you, no matter what she’s saying. Dee wants you to call her if there’s any way she can help. In the meantime, she’s sure that Kiley is determined to stay there all day. She says you should get some sleep. She’ll call if Kiley’s plans change and she’ll do her best to take care of her as much as Kiley will let her.”

Jordan considered what Brett had said. “It’s over, Brett. It was over when I called her yesterday, before our meeting. She isn’t going to change her mind.”

“She will, Jordan. She’ll think about what she said to you and what she knows about you and she’ll know she was right to love you in the first place.” Brett hoped he sounded convincing.

Jordan just looked at him. “Go back to work. I’m glad you came by and I’ll talk to you later.”

“I’ll stay. It’s no problem.”

“I know and I appreciate that but I’m going to sleep. She’s not going to call or show up, not today, not ever. There’s no point in me waiting around like I have been.”

“It’s not like you to give up without a fight, Jordan. Go rest and tonight we’ll come up with a plan.” Brett was even more concerned than he had been.

“There’s nothing to plan for Brett, but thanks for the offer. I’d tell you there’s no need for you to stop by later but I know you will anyway so thanks, okay?” Jordan took his cup inside and threw away the rest of the coffee in the pot in a gesture of resignation. “Tell Dwight I’ll see him tomorrow and I’d appreciate it if he hangs out the rest of the day.”

“Sure thing, buddy. You are going to sack out, right?”

“Yeah, I will. Right now, I’m so tired I can barely move.” Jordan waited until Brett opened the door to go downstairs to add, “Hey, Brett? Thanks for not saying I told you so.”

“Damn it, Jordan, I wouldn’t do that. I never wanted this to happen. I never expected it from Kiley either. You two had me believing in happily ever after.”

“Me too. Guess you were right after all,” Jordan sighed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. See you.” He walked away, not giving Brett a chance to respond.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Will stormed into Jordan’s office and confronted Dwight. “I need to see Jordan.”

“I’m sorry but he’s not available,” Dwight responded as Jordan had instructed him to.

“I’ll wait.” Will stared.

“You can’t. He’s tied up all day,” Dwight replied.

“Look, you don’t get it. I know he’s here. I’m a friend as well as a client and I don’t care how long I have to sit here, I am not leaving until I speak with Jordan. You can either get used to me or go tell him I’m here. I only need a few minutes.”

Dwight watched Will settle into a chair. He saw the determination on his face and was unsure of what to do. When Will continued staring at him, he felt very uncomfortable. Half an hour later, Dwight decided he’d had enough. He’d rather risk Jordan’s disapproval than sit there with him all day. Or longer since Dwight was beginning to believe he’d still be there in the morning if he didn’t succeed in speaking with Jordan.

“You win,” Dwight muttered as he went into Jordan’s private office. “I’m really sorry. I know you said you weren’t in for anyone but there’s a guy here who isn’t ever going away until you give him a minute.”

“I said no one, Dwight. Is that so difficult?” Jordan spoke quietly.

“No, sir, but he says he’s a friend.” Dwight didn’t give up. His boss had been working nonstop since sometime Wednesday night with an intensity he hadn’t seen before. It was like he was possessed. If that guy really was a friend, maybe he could get Jordan to take a break. “His name is Will.”

“Oh.” Jordan suddenly appeared extremely tired. “I guess this is one that I can’t avoid. Thanks, Dwight. We’ll be upstairs.” Jordan went to greet his friend. “Why don’t you come up?”

Will waited until Jordan was seated across from him, then pulled a paper from his pocket and spread it on the table. “You care to explain this to me?”

“What’s to explain? I think it’s perfectly clear.”

“Come off it, Jordan. You know damn well I’m not asking about the contents. I get the fact that you turned our account over to someone else. What I want to know is why? And why you sent this instead of telling us? I thought Dee and I were more than clients.”

“You are, Will. And you’re right. I should have called you. I’m sorry. It’s just that I haven’t felt much like talking lately.”