Rabbit Racer (3 page)

Our neighbours at number fifty-three were Mr and Mrs Green and their son, George. For as long as I could remember, George had been on the lookout for the perfect pet.
He’d tried several, including a goldfish who’d accidentally been flushed down the loo, a hamster who sneaked into his rucksack and got lost at school, and a budgie which had flown out
of an open window when Mrs Green was cleaning out its cage.

So, when Susie told me that George had bought a pair of guinea pigs, Salt and Pepper, I was curious to see how long they would stick around. Then the Greens went on holiday and the guinea pigs
moved into our garden for a couple of weeks. Suddenly, the chances of an escape attempt went through the roof. For one thing Susie’s little sister loved anything furry and there was no way
she’d be able to resist the guinea pigs. Once she’d smuggled them up to her bedroom to play with her dollies, they’d be goners for sure. And if Lily didn’t get them, Smudge
would. I’d already spotted him sitting on top of their cage, staring downwards in a hungry way.

Ever since Gloria had told us the least-talented animals would be leaving
Superpets
, I’d been thinking like crazy about my new trick and had tried backflipping on to anything bouncy
I found lying about in the garden. My favourite was Susie’s red-and-yellow striped beach-ball. I wasn’t so keen on EE’s deckchair, especially after I’d accidentally boinged
off his tummy when I’d forgotten he was there. I kept up the hard work, though. I wasn’t ready to give up my position as Britain’s Number One Bunny, no matter what Doodle and
Miranda had planned.

But Salt and Pepper weren’t exactly quiet guests. EE had put their cage facing mine and every time I practised a bounce, the two of them let out a chattering ‘meep’ noise that
sounded like they were giggling their heads off. It drove me mad and I wasn’t the only person they were getting to.

‘What is that noise?’ EE said, one Sunday afternoon when Susie was sitting in the garden watching me hop around the flowerbeds. He lifted the newspaper from over his face and glared
around. ‘Can’t a man rest his eyes in the sunshine without a racket breaking out?’

Of course, Salt and Pepper thought this was hilarious as well and their giggling got louder.

EE scowled. ‘Shut them up, please,’ he groaned at Mrs Wilson. ‘I’m trying to read the paper.’

She carried on hanging out the washing. ‘Mrs Green did say they were quite high-spirited,’ she said. ‘I’m sure they’ll settle down in a minute.’

I was just hopping nearer to the rose bushes, wondering if I could use the distraction to chomp a petal or two, when I caught a movement in Madame Belladonna’s garden. Looking over, I
blinked. Hovering above the top of the fence was a gigantic pink pom-pom. Smudge spotted it too. He watched it for a moment and then leaped up on to the fence and sank his claws into the
pom-pom.

There was a high-pitched yelp and Smudge let go. He jumped down from the fence and hid behind EE’s leg, hissing. On the other side of the fence, Madame Belladonna shot upwards. We all
stared. Even though it was a warm and sunny afternoon, Madame Belladonna had a yellow scarf wrapped around her neck right up to her nose and she was wearing a pair of swimming goggles. The pink
pom-pom that Smudge had attacked was attached to a woolly, lime-green hat.

‘Lost something, Madame Belladonna?’ EE called.

‘Signor Wilson, you give me ze frights,’ she said, in her funny voice. ‘’Ere I am, looking for . . . ze chicken eggs and zat pussy cat attacks me like I was ze
mouse.’

EE looked puzzled. ‘I didn’t know you had chickens over there?’

Madame Belladonna let out a loud squawking laugh, which set the guinea pigs off giggling too. ‘Zere are no chickens ’ere? Zat ees why I do not find ze eggs. Seelly me!’ And
throwing a final beady-eyed look my way from behind her goggles, she tottered back up the garden and disappeared into her house.

EE and Mrs Wilson watched her go, confused looks on their faces.

‘You know, I think she might be a little bit loopy,’ EE said, shaking his head in pity.

‘She’s certainly got unusual dress sense,” Mrs Wilson agreed. ‘Maybe she’s just misunderstood. It might help if we got to know her better.’

EE looked doubtful. ‘I don’t see how. But I suppose I could get her a ticket for the
Superpets Summer Special
. When she finds out she’s living next door to some VIPs,
she might get a bit star-struck and behave herself.’

Well, if that wasn’t just like EE, basking in the spotlight of my talent! I snuggled up to Susie and hoped he’d forget about that ridiculous idea. What with Salt and Pepper one side
and Madame Belladonna the other, things were getting crazy in the Wilson house, and I didn’t really want our nutty neighbour turning up at the
Superpets
studio. The way things were
shaping up, it was the only place I could go for a bit of peace and quiet.

There are two types of star on
Superpets:
those who understand how lucky they are to be part of the show, and the ones who think no one would watch if it wasn’t
for them. I’m in the first group. I love the smell of the make-up and the roar of the audience and can’t wait to get out there and entertain people. But as you might guess, Doodle
isn’t. She thinks she’s the bee’s knees and Miranda agrees with her. The list of demands they made when we were on tour was amazing and changed all the time.

‘Doodle needs fresh spring water from the Welsh mountains and a cashmere rug in her dressing room,’ Miranda declared, as we waited backstage on Saturday for the rehearsal to start.
‘She can’t be expected to hit the high notes if she’s forced to drink common tap water and lie on a dirty rug.’

Gloria gave a brisk smile and winked at me and Susie on her way past. ‘I expect Doodle will need even more luxuries for her new trick, won’t she, Miranda?’

Miranda and Doodle stared at each other. ‘Oh – er – of course!’ Miranda trilled. ‘She’s been working terribly hard.’

Tim nudged EE. ‘I bet a talented bunny like Harriet has a long list of things she needs to pull off her amazing stunts.’

EE chewed on the chocolate bar he’d picked up at the snack machine and looked down at me. ‘She’s watching her weight. An organic carrot before she goes on stage, and
that’s about it.’

I wiggled my ears in outrage; me, watching my weight? If anyone needed to go on a diet around here, it was EE. His tummy was getting so big he could hardly see his toes.

Tim nodded. ‘Taz is the same. He’s an athlete.’

Taz let out a hungry miaow and eyed EE’s chocolate bar.

‘In fact,’ Tim went on, ignoring the cat, ‘I think there might be a touch of cheetah in his ancestry. He’s always been fast and I’m sure he has a few black spots in
amongst his tabby stripes.’

We all peered at Taz’s sleek coat and he blinked in embarrassment at his owner’s boasting. I twitched my nose in sympathy. What can I say? Being famous isn’t always fun.

‘Look, Dad, Harriet and Taz are becoming friends,’ Susie said, when she saw us looking at each other.

‘Not for long,’ a voice behind me mumbled. Peering through the bars of my travel basket, I saw Miranda and Doodle smirking in my direction. I knew they were up to no good, but what
were they planning?