Racing Home (Dirt Track Dogs Book 3) (Paranormal Wolf-Shifter Romance) (8 page)

Annie nodded, pulling away to warm up the food she’d made him.

He watched her, his heart full and longing. This could be them every night if he wasn’t so fucked up. Her, moving about the kitchen while he watched, anxious to get her alone later so he could show her how he felt. They’d wake together in the morning and she’d still be his.

Annie set the plate of pot roast in front of him and stepped back. Blister took a bite, closing his eyes to savor it. Damn, his mate was a good cook.

A sound of satisfaction slipped out. “This is delicious, Annie.”

“I’m glad you like it,” she said quietly. “Just put your plate in the sink when you’re done, okay? I’m going to bed.”

She left before he could answer, and he didn’t quite know what to think about her quick exit.

He finished his dinner and rinsed his plate, popping it in the dishwasher. His gaze went to the back door. He should leave, but he was tired of leaving. His animal was unsettled. Needed something. Needed peace.

Blister glanced toward the stairs. His angel was just a floor up. He could go to her. Just be in her vicinity. Maybe watch her while she slept. It would help. Those few hours with her in the cellar had been pure heaven. He could have that again.

Slowly, he climbed the stairs, not sure which room was hers. Several doors were closed, but one was open and he checked it first. It was hers, and it was exactly what he’d expected. A queen sized bed covered with fluffy pillows and a navy bedspread dotted with white flowers. The walls were dark. Gray or blue. He couldn’t tell in the dark where the only light was from the moon spilling in between the cracks of her curtains.

Annie lay in the pile of pillows, looking perfect with her hair spilling over the top. So good that he momentarily forgot about the bed altogether. The bed he couldn’t sleep in. The bed that would give him nightmares.

Blister cleared his throat so she’d know he was there. She sat up, frowning.

“Blister? Is everything alright? You need something?”

“Can I come in?”

He heard her swallow all the way over by the door.

Please, she must know I wouldn’t hurt her.

“Sure.”

Slowly, he found the chair near her bed and lowered himself into it, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. She wasn’t afraid of him in the daylight, but maybe this was too much, him being in her room.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, her brow creased.

Yes. Something was very wrong. They were supposed to be together and they weren’t. He was supposed to take her as his, and he wouldn’t. She was supposed to love him until death, but she couldn’t.

Everything was wrong.

“Please, can I just…” He struggled with the question. He didn’t want her to think he was strange. He just needed… something from her. Something that wouldn’t hurt her or change her in any way. Something innocent. “Can I just watch you sleep?”

She smiled so sweetly, her eyes glowing with emotion he didn’t understand while his heart hammered obnoxiously in his chest.

“Sure. But you don’t have to just watch.” She scooted closer to one side of the bed and pulled the covers back. “We can share the bed if you want. There’s plenty of room and I don’t mind. I’m sure it would be much more comfortable than the cellar bench.”

“No.” It came out much harsher than he’d intended. “No,” he said, tempering his tone. “I don’t want that.”

“Oh.”

Her face fell, and he wished he could get back the sweet expression she’d had seconds ago. Damn it, even in this small innocent request, he’d fucked up. This was a mistake.

Blister rose abruptly and stumbled for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Wait,” she called. “Wait, please!”

She jumped out of bed and her small hand wrapped around his forearm, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t go. Please.”

He couldn’t make himself look at her. He just wanted to leave. Call his animal and run off the steam. Forget the embarrassment that constantly clawed at him.

Her hand slid down to his, her fingers locking on. He loved her hands. He loved them so much. When she touched him, he felt whole. Worthy. He felt like a man instead of a broken mistake.

“Come on. Come sit. I’ll sleep and you can watch. It’s fine. I promise.”

He let her pull him back to the chair and watched her climb into bed. She pulled the blankets around her. Her face was sad, but she smiled before letting her eyes flutter closed.

Blister swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to calm the flight instinct so he could enjoy this moment with her. This was what he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her at the speedway. It was the only fantasy he’d let himself have of her.

Minutes passed but he knew she wasn’t asleep. Her breathing was normal. He waited longer, but still she wasn’t drifting off like he’d hoped. Why would she, with a monster staring at her?

“I’m making you uncomfortable,” he murmured.

Her eyes shot open. “No. That’s not it. I’m just trying to clear my mind so I can sleep.”

He was quiet.

“I… I like you watching me.”

Her admission made his mouth dry so much he couldn’t swallow. Was… was she telling the truth?

“You do?” he finally managed.

She nodded, but lowered her gaze.

She was lying.

His heart sank.

“You don’t have to do that,” he barely breathed.

“Do what?”

“Lie. No matter what I’ll always prefer the truth from you.”

There was a long pause where she seemed to consider what to say.

“I’m not lying,” she insisted. “I’ve never lied to you. I just don’t know what you want. I offer to let you come closer but then you go farther away. Every time. I don’t know what to do to make you stay. And I really want you to stay.”

He looked at her. Her bottom lip trembled with the confession. Shit.

“You want me to stay?” The words felt odd on his tongue. How could she want that?

“Yes,” she whispered.

Dread slammed him in the chest. “Did I… hurt your feelings earlier?”

She grinned sadly and lowered her eyes. “A little, but it’s okay. Punk says I’m too—”

“It’s not okay. Not at all. I’m very sorry. And you’re not too anything, Annie. You’re perfect.”

She chewed her bottom lip, her gaze still averted. He wanted to reach out and tip her head back so he could see her pretty eyes.

“I think I’m always going to hurt you no matter how hard I try not to,” he rasped. “It’s who I am. I should go.” And stay away this time.

“Please don’t,” she whispered. “You don’t have to.”

He couldn’t move. His mind told him to go. His wolf
commanded
him to stay. His mate
asked
him to stay. She was all he cared about. He wanted to make her happy, even if for this tiny second in time.

“Sing to me,” she murmured. “I love hearing you sing, Blister.”

His heart literally quaked hearing the word love and his name come from her mouth in the same sentence.

He could do this. Sing for his mate. She wanted him to and it wouldn’t hurt a thing. Singing was the purest form of expression. He could sing his feelings to her and she wouldn’t know it was anything more than the lyrics of a song. It was safe. The safest way he could think of.

Taking several deep breaths, he forced his muscles to relax.

“Close your eyes.”

She obeyed, turning on her side and tucking her hand under her cheek. He only had to think about it for a moment, and the words he needed came to him.

“Breath comes quickly when my eyes find you. Never knew my heart could open, could feel like this, I never knew. A man torn. Can’t find peace, when you’re it and we aren’t meant to be. So breathe. Breathe slowly. Breathe softly every moment until it’s gone. Breathe until it’s easy. Until you find the one.”

Blister kept going, repeating his song to her until her breathing evened out and her muscles relaxed. When she was asleep, he drew in a deep breath, finally able to relax. He let his eyes slide over every feature until he had them memorized.

Her words pierced the hard shell of his resistance and left him feeling like he was stuck in one of his goddamn dreams.

Did she want him? Did this beautiful woman
really
want him even though he was a mess? And if the answer was yes, then… why?

He remembered her scent of arousal after she’d fed him cheesecake. Fuck, was this for real? His angel desired him? Or was she just lonely. Maybe anyone would do.

Shit.

He stared at her as a soft snore split the silence between them.

It didn’t matter what her reasons were. Not really. Things were still the same. He was still no good for her. He was still damaged. He still wouldn’t be able to sleep in a bed for her, much less live in a house like a normal person.

He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He’d figure it out in the morning. For tonight, he was going to watch his mate and hold her words deep in his heart.

Chapter Nine

You’re perfect, he’d said. Last night it made her stomach curl with excitement. But this morning, his words grated on her nerves.

If she was so dang perfect in his eyes then why was he avoiding her like the plague? She’d made herself very clear last night. Told him exactly what she wanted from him even though it had left her vulnerable.

He’d missed breakfast, and as far as she could tell, he wasn’t coming around for lunch either. If history was any clue, he’d show up just before bedtime, make cryptic statements and confusing gestures and then bolt.

To make matters worse, Ella and Punk were on their way over. They needed to talk to her, they’d said. Well fine. Whatever they had to say came at the perfect time because she needed to talk to them too.

As if she’d conjured them, a quick knock on the back door followed by Punk’s deep voice announced their arrival.

Annie continued furiously shredding cheese on a handheld grater.

“Whoa,” Punk murmured. “She’s in full on cook-the-hell-out-of-life mode. What’s up, Annie Banannie?”

Annie shrugged. “You called. What’s up with you?”

Punk crossed her arms while Ella let out a sharp laugh.

“Huh. That’s an interesting attitude you have going on right now. Someone make you mad? I’m available to kick some ass if you want.”

Annie set the cheese aside. “No. It’s fine.” She faced her friends, determined not to take her troubles out on them. “What did you guys need to talk to me about?”

Punk slid her gaze to Ella, clearly rethinking whatever decision the two of them had come to. Ella returned it with a wide eyed stare.

“Oh, knock it off, you two. Tell me what’s going on.”

Punk shrugged. “Okay, fine. We have something to tell you. Something that might be a little hard to believe, but just… you know, stay calm, okay.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“So, you know the dogs, they’re… different,” Ella said. The look on her face was so serious. Like what she was about to say was a matter of life or death. “They’re not quite um, human.”

Annie blinked at her.

“Well, they’re human sometimes. Most of the time,” Ella rushed on, “but they’re also sort of… animalistic. As in they um, um,
turn into wolves
.”

Punk shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah, but they’re totally safe. You shouldn’t be worried or anything like that. They would never hurt any of us. In fact, they’re very protective.”

Ella nodded so hard, Annie wondered if her head would come off her neck. “Yeah, they’re not like, going to bite you or anything. They’re good guys, Annie. We wanted to tell you sooner but then the storm came and it just…”

“Didn’t seem like the right time,” Punk finished.

“And there’s more,” Ella added. “I…” She looked to Punk and Punk gave an encouraging nod. “I’m like them. I’m a wolf shifter too.”

“She didn’t know until she met Drake. Just like he didn’t know Blister was her uncle.”

Ella nodded. “Yeah, this is all pretty new to me too.”

Finally their words dried up.

Annie looked back and forth between her two friends, minutes passing with the tension. “
That’s
what you needed to tell me?”

Punk frowned.

“The wolf thing?” Annie cried. “That’s the all important thing that brought you over for a visit. Not to make sure I was okay, or I dunno, see how the repairs are coming? Or hey, help with the clean up?”

Ella’s head snapped back at her tone. “But… we knew the cats were taking care of you. And hasn’t Blister been helping?”

Cats? There were cats? Hammer wielding cats. Sure. Why not?

“Yeah, of course. But what about my actual
friends
? I’ve needed you guys. I have…
things
I need to talk about, and you guys are off on your happily-ever-afters like I’m not even here.”

“Annie… I’m so sorry,” Ella murmured, glancing at Punk. “We didn’t know. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Wait,” Punk said. “The ‘wolf thing’? You already knew?”

Annie rolled her eyes. “Of course I knew. Just because I haven’t been laid doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since…” Crap. They weren’t going to like this. “Since before Ella tried out for Dirt Track Dogs.”

Punk’s eyes went wide, sending her brow jewelry into her forehead. “No fucking way.”

Ella’s jaw dropped.

“How,” Punk demanded.

Annie pursed her lips. Well, everything was going to come out now. Whatever. It was time.

“Look, okay. I’ve been doing life on my own for a while, and making it just fine. Maybe even been kicking… you know, ass. But it’s not easy. I don’t like being alone all the time.” It might seem obvious, but her friends didn’t know. She’d never let on that she was anything other than happy. “I want… more. Someone special. You get what I’m saying?”

They nodded.

“So, one day at the track, I saw Blister. He was working on a car. A DTD car, and he was in his own little world, not paying attention to any of those race chick posers that strut around. He was just… there. Taking care of business. And I don’t know why exactly, but I was attracted to him.”

“You never said anything,” Ella murmured.

Annie shook her head. “Why would I? He felt so far out of reach, and he never looked my direction. So… so I decided to
make
him look. You mentioned Drake and wanting to be part of the club, so I encouraged you. I figured if you were in, you could like, I dunno, introduce us or something. But then everything just went haywire. I realized what Blister was, and what you were, and…” Annie ended with a shrug.

“But how?” Punk pushed. “How did you know?”

Annie felt her face flame. “I… well, I followed him one day. I just wanted to see what he liked to do so I could find a way to talk to him. But… I might’ve, um, followed him into the woods. I saw him change. I saw everything.”

Both her friends stared at her like they didn’t even know her. She fidgeted under their shocked gazes. But then Punk busted out a disbelieving laugh. In fact, she doubled over laughing harder than Annie had ever seen.

“You… you stalked him?” She could barely get the question out between knee-slapping giggles.

“I did not.” Annie’s hand flew to her hips. “I didn’t
mean
to see it. I told you, I was trying to figure out how to get to know him.”

Ella grinned. “Aw, I think it’s sweet. Does he know how you feel?”

“Aw, hell no, Ella,” Punk said, sobering. “She
used
you. To get her foot in DTD. You gonna let that go unpunished.”

Ella waved her hand. “Who cares. I ended up with Drake. And you, with Beast. We kind of owe her, right?”

“Yeah, well it doesn’t really matter,” Annie said. “My diabolical plan didn’t work.”

Punk frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, Blister’s spending all his time here. What do you mean it didn’t work?”

Annie threw her hands up. “He doesn’t… you know… I don’t know. I’ve made it clear I’m interested, but he’s just… not, I guess.”

Something like realization flashed through Ella’s gaze and she gave Punk a sad look.

“What?”

“It’s his animal,” Ella explained. “No matter what Blister might think of you, if you aren’t his animal’s intended, he won’t be interested in a relationship.”

Annie shook her head. “Intended?”

“His intended mate,” Punk said solemnly. “Shifters have one true match. They seek them out and when they find them, they mate for life.”

“For life?”

Ella nodded.

Hope mixed with fear in Annie’s chest. She tried to smile. “Well, maybe… maybe I’m his,” she said quietly. It sounded wonderful. To have Blister’s devotion for the rest of their lives.

But the expression on Ella’s face crushed that dream soundly. Her smile was full of sadness. “When a male finds their mate, they pursue them. Aggressively. If you were his, he wouldn’t leave you alone. He’d want to claim you. Be by your side all the time.”

Annie went cold, her stomach clenching with despair. That wasn’t Blister at all. In fact, he was usually trying to get away from her.

She drew in a deep shaking breath, but it burned her lungs like acid.

“Okay.” Somehow she smiled, but she wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Ah no, Annie,” Punk groaned. “Don’t cry for him. Goddamn it.”

Annie shook her head. “I’m not, I’m not. I swear.”

It was a downright lie. She could feel the tears filling her eyelids no matter how much she silently cursed them to hell.

“Annie,” Ella cooed, holding her arms out.

Annie let Ella wrap her in a hug even though all she wanted was to cry it out in solitude. She was humiliated that she’d confessed everything only to come out looking like a fool. They must think she was crazy.

A door slammed and then she heard Punk’s angry voice. “Oh,
you
!”

Thwack, thwack
.

“The hell?” Blister’s muttered curse brought Annie’s gaze up.

Punk smacked his arm over and over because he had it up to guard his face.

“Punk!” Ella yelled, and Punk finally stopped and took up pacing the small kitchen.

Blister looked around in confusion, and before Annie could hide her face, his gaze found her.

Fury and concern mixed into an odd expression as he stalked forward. “Angel?” he murmured.

“Angel?” Punk spat, but he ignored her.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded, somehow managing to untangle her from Ella’s grasp.

His thumbs tenderly brushed away her tears, but his gentleness just made more come.

“We should go,” Ella said, frowning.

“
Go
? Are you fucking serious?” Punk snapped.

“Yes. We should go.
Right now
.” Ella dragged Punk toward the door.

Annie squeezed her eyes shut. If they left, he would keep asking questions. She’d have to tell him the whole embarrassing thing.

She heard her friends speaking in hushed tones and then the door close. She was alone with him.

“Please.” There was no mistaking the barely contained edge in his voice. “Tell me what is wrong, Annie. So I can fix it. Seeing you like this… hurts.”

She pulled away, wiping her eyes and drawing deep breaths. Time to come clean. Dang, this was going to suck.

“I know what you are,” she began. “About your wolf. I’ve known for a while. But even before I knew, I wanted you. I didn’t know about mates though. Ella told me how you’ll only desire your intended. And I’m just… Blister, I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Confusion saturated his tone.

“That I didn’t realize you were waiting for your mate. That I wasn’t her. I’m embarrassed. That’s what these tears are.”

That and the fact that she’d totally fallen for a man that eventually would belong to someone else. It was official. She was
the worst
at love.

“I’m… I’m
not
waiting on my mate.” Blister pushed off the counter, walking away from her with both hands tangled in his hair.

Annie brushed her tears away, trying to focus on his words and their meaning, but she was baffled.

He spun, his gaze hard on her. “I’m going to fuck this up, do you understand that?”

She shook her head because no, she didn’t understand anything.

Blister took two strides toward her and stopped short, his fists clenched. He practically vibrated with tension. Like he was fighting himself and losing. “I have tried. So fucking hard. To keep you safe. To make sure I didn’t bring anything bad to your life. But how… how am I supposed to do that when you cry for me?” His voice broke at the end, hooking her heart like an ignorant fish merely wanting a worm. “No one’s ever done that,” he breathed. “No one’s ever cried for me. Why do you make this so hard? Why can’t you just ignore me like everyone else, act like I don’t exist?”

Annie straightened her shoulders, pushing her chin out. “Because you do exist. But if that’s what you want—”

“It’s not what I want,” he snapped. And his control broke as well. He closed the distance between them, bracing his arms on either side of her, trapping her against the counter. “I want to be perfect for you.
My mate
. I want to be everything you need. I want to make you happy. I want to claim you, make you mine. But I can’t do any of those things, Annie.”

Her heart thundered at his declaration, at his nearness. At the way his breath skated across her cheek and sent chill bumps up her neck.

“You could,” she said, with certainty. “You could do all those things and more if you wanted to bad enough.”

His gaze fell to her lips, and he murmured, “Is that what you think?”

Annie shook her head. “It’s what I know.”