Radiance (3 page)

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Authors: Shayne McClendon

Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Erotica, #Gay, #Romantic, #Romance, #Contemporary

BOOK: Radiance
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“Damn.”  Elijah’s single word told her she was right.

“Why invest your valuable time,” she gestured at the whale, “and money in someone like me?”

“Winters.” 

“Tell me what you mean,” she pressed.

“You changed him.  You…liked him.” 

“I didn’t change him.  He’s the same man he’s always been.  I didn’t like him at first but I quickly saw the man he was behind his gruff exterior.”  Pausing, she asked, “Do you find yourself unlikeable?”  He nodded.  She looked at Elijah and back to him.  “Elijah likes you.”

“In the beginning, he had no choice.” 

“There’s
always
a choice and I doubt his loyalty is easily earned.”  She felt the bodyguard staring at her and swallowed hard.  “Hudson and Natalia speak highly of you.” 

“You respect their opinion.”  She nodded.  He curled his fingers into a fist on his thigh.  “I can’t love you, Gabriella.” 

She let the words hang in the air without addressing them.  She needed a moment to process a statement that made her inexplicably sad. 

Elijah was clearly upset. He turned to look at her. 

“Did you…argue about me this morning?”  The blonde didn’t answer but his eyes held incredible emotion.  “Natalia mentioned you’re Harper’s oldest friend.” 

“Yes.  Since he was born.” 

“You share a lot of history then.  Something tells me you’re not as tolerant about some of his choices as Natalia has been of Hudson’s.  After so many years, you
must
know he has no desire to love a woman or receive her love in return.” 

“You’re different from most women.” 

Unsure how to interpret the statement, she looked at Harper.  “Life is short.  Every second counts in ways even I was unaware of before my accident.  I don’t want to waste mine.” 

“You value
love
so highly?” he asked her abruptly.  The mere word held contempt when he said it. 

“No.  I value
myself
that highly.  I don’t judge you, Harper.  I also don’t judge my need to love and be loved.” 

“You deserve to have everything you need, Brie.” 

Elijah’s words shook her foundation and she blinked back tears.  Staring at her lap, she inhaled carefully.  When she lifted her face, she gave Harper a smile.  “I’m not complex.  Your attempts to
unravel
me are an exercise in futility.  There’s no mystery, no ulterior motive, no desire to play hard to get.” 

Hating to ask, she turned to the bodyguard.  With a heavy sigh, she whispered, “Will you please get my chair from my room?” 

Elijah rose instantly and returned pushing the wheelchair she’d left beside her bed.  Without a word, he lifted her and placed her carefully in it.  He smoothed his hand over her head and she tried not to lean into the simple touch.

“Th-thank you.” 

Returning to his previous position, Elijah stared into her eyes for a long moment.  “I
can
love you, Brie.” 

The words made her heart tremble.  Harper visibly stiffened. 

“I suspect you
could
, Elijah.  You strike me as a man who loves deeply and quietly.  You ask for nothing, expect nothing, and aren’t surprised when that’s exactly what you receive.”

“It would be an honor to love you.” 


Elijah…
” 

Every word he said managed to penetrate to the innermost part of her.  It had her
completely
off-balance.  Much longer in his presence and she’d likely throw herself into his arms. 

“My existence already causes issues between you.”  They were
not
Hudson and Natalia, their relationship held a note of aggression she didn’t know how to navigate.  “You’ve presented yourselves as a package deal.  I respect that but ultimately, it would hurt me to be loved by one and considered hired help by the other.” 

“Fuck.” Harper growled the word. 

“You’ve stated you’ll be unable or unwilling to love me.  That means I’d serve a specific purpose.  A sexual conquest, perhaps a person to facilitate in ways Elijah is not permitted to do.” 

Looking at the bodyguard, she sighed.  “Something tells me you enforce rigid distance publicly.”

“You’ve spoken to Hudson about us.” 

Frowning in confusion, she shook her head.  “He wouldn’t share information about you nor would I ask.  It’s just a vibe you both give off that I can’t quite define.” 

To herself, she murmured, “Employee, employer…?  I don’t know.  Something.”  She shrugged.  “I’m pretty observant.” 

“No one is
that
observant.” 

“I’d say no one could be so
arrogant
.  We’d both be wrong.” 

Harper sat back and rested his chin on his thumb, his elbow on the arm of the sofa.  One finger rubbed back and forth over his upper lip as he watched her. 

She hoped she successfully hid the sexual effect it had on her. 

It was important to choose her words carefully.  These two men had her twisted up in all sorts of ways. 

“I’m
not
incapable or unwilling to love.  Time spent in your company would make me see the good, the beauty in both of you.  It’s in my nature, both a strength and a weakness.  I’d become emotionally attached, accept it wasn’t reciprocated, and end up with a broken heart.” 

Harper didn’t get it.  “Did Hudson break your heart?” 

“I knew almost from
day one
that my role was meant to be a bridge between their past and their future.  I guarded my heart and managed to keep it safe.” 

“That must have been hard for you,” Elijah said.

“There were moments I worried.  They’re incredible, separately and together.  Too much time receiving
everything
they offered would have tipped me past what I could resist.  I was getting too close already.  After my s-surgery, I knew I had to set a time limit.  They respected my decision.”

“How long?” 

She didn’t pretend to misunderstand the question.  Green eyes held hers as she whispered, “One night.” 

“You spent
one night
with both of them…in every way?”  Harper sounded as if he didn’t believe it but she nodded.  “They didn’t attempt to talk you into more?” 

Twisting her fingers together, she said softly, “The last pieces started falling together for them that night.  The following morning, I was hit and spent a long time in the hospital.  That’s when they saw what they shared.” 

“You’re all very close.  How was that accomplished in one night?”  Harper frowned. 

“We built friendships first.  I gave them a fresh perspective.  In exchange, they helped me reconcile the person I felt pressured to be with the woman I really was on the inside.”

“The woman you
are
is beautiful, Brie,” Elijah told her.

“That’s good of you to say.  I have days of doubt.” 

She pointed at the whale.  “The sculpture makes me feel wonderful because when a whale’s removed from its’ home, it’s vulnerable, helpless, an object of pity.  In the water, the one element in which it can survive, it’s a creature that’s fierce, beautiful, and powerful.” 

Closing her eyes, she murmured, “All my life, I’ve been out of my element.”  Gray eyes waited for her when she opened hers.  “During my short time with them, I experienced
water
for the first time.” 

She gestured down her body.  “I find myself on land again, a creature that’s once again an object of pity.” 

“I don’t pity you, Gabriella.” 

“You find me
weak
as most do whereas I see you clearly as one of the strongest and most brilliant men I’ve ever met, Harper.” 

Looking at Elijah, she added, “You’re the one who confuses me.  There’s
something
…I don’t know.  It’s just beyond my line of sight and I can’t put my finger on it.” 

“Does it frighten you, Brie?”

“Not remotely.  I’m pretty much mesmerized by it.” 

“I’ve
never
met a person so honest.” 

“My mother used to tell me I was so distracted I’d forget lies if I told them.”  She stared at the bodyguard, struggling to nail down what it was about him that escaped her.  “I feel as if I’ll figure it out and laugh at myself for not seeing it sooner.”

“Perhaps your reaction won’t be laughter.” 

“That’s…intriguing.”  She pulled her gaze from him and gave the darker man a careful smile.  “I can almost guarantee you don’t need or want a woman like me in your life, Harper.”

“Why?” 

“You don’t dislike me but you don’t like me either.  I’m more trouble than I’ll be worth to you and it’ll be a long time before I can even be considered as a sexual distraction.” 

Harper insisted, “You’d be more than a distraction.”

After a long pause, she nodded.  “I guess we’ll see.”  He looked victorious so she clarified.  “When I’m back on my feet, if you’re still interested, I’ll spend time in your company.”

“Your terms?” 

The question caused her to stiffen.  “There are no
terms
on my side, Harper.  I’ll guard my heart, help both of you in whatever ways I’m capable, and hopefully see you happy.  Then our time will end and you can get back to your usual selection of vapid supermodels.” 

Backing up, she made her way to the door.  “Thank you again for the whale, Harper.  I very much wanted to have it.” 

The men rose and walked to stand in front of her. 

Elijah lowered to his knees.  “There’s no supermodel who could compete with all you offer, Brie.” 

“That’s sweet of you, Elijah.” 

“That’s the
truth
.”  His hands reached up to cup her skull, his fingers lightly stroking her hair.  “It’s like silk.”  Staring into her eyes, he traced his thumbs over her brows.  “Your eyes are
blue
.  I just realized.” 

“You’re a lovely human being, Elijah.”  She brushed her fingers along his jaw and she watched the green of his eyes darken.  “I’m happy to be your friend without conditions.” 

“Will you be my friend as well, Gabriella?” 

“You have
no desire
to be my friend, Harper.”  Though it was the truth, it hurt her to say it out loud.  He also didn’t deny it.

Elijah gathered her carefully in a hug and planted a kiss on the skin beneath her ear.  Meeting Harper’s eyes over his shoulder, she knew he saw the physical reaction it inspired. 

Against her hair, he whispered, “I’ll wait for you, Brie.” 

Such a simple thing to say that affected her deeply.  Inhaling the scent of her hair, he pulled back and pressed a kiss on her lips.  Then he stood, picked up the envelope holding the sketch from her foyer table, and left her apartment. 

Harper stared at her.  “You fascinate me.” 

“It’ll pass.” 

“You make me hard.” 

“I doubt I’m unique in the ability.” 

Despite himself, he laughed.  “Your mind is very quick.  I’m giving you six months.” 

“You make it sound like a stay of execution.  I’ll still be under medical care and unable…” 

“Eight months.”  She shook her head.  “Ten months and then you’ll
agree
to an arrangement with Elijah and myself.” 

“Harper,
why
is this so important to you?” 

“Do you
agree
, Gabriella?” 

Exhaling slowly, she thought about giving the two men the same privileges to her body as Hudson and Natalia.  A single image played across her mind that made her entire body heat in response.  This time, she
knew
she couldn’t hide it. 


Agree
, Gabriella.”  His words were low, fierce.

Unable to deny her awakened nature, she nodded and replied softly, “Alright.” 

The expression of victory on his face made her smile.  He bent, lifted her from the wheelchair, and supported her weight. 

Shocked, she stared up into his face.  “I…” 

Then he kissed her and Brie knew instantly she’d made a horrible mistake.  He would leave her wrecked.

Issuing a soft gasp, his tongue stroked inside her mouth and coiled against her own.  His lips moved over hers and she felt the pull deep in her chest toward a man who’d already insisted he wouldn’t love her. 

You’re a foolish woman and you’ll get exactly what you deserve. 

She didn’t know how long he kissed her and had no memory of lifting her hands to stroke through his hair.  The instant her fingers met the silken strands, his hold around her tightened. 

With one arm, he kept her secure.  She felt the hand of the other pet from her hair to her ass.  Squeezing once, he returned to deconstructing her with his lips and teeth and tongue. 

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