Rage (51 page)

“What’s
wrong?”

“I
wish I could provide fun, Alex, but I have to leave for Connecticut in a couple
of days. Gram fell and broke her hip and Wes says it seems to have done
something to her mind, she’s just not herself. I’d be on the plane tonight but
I’ve still got Beth to worry about. She’s better, a lot better, and there’s a
very good resident who wants to work with her. Beth seems to like her but the
rapport hasn’t developed and there’s the whole abandonment thing to deal with.
I’m hoping to get her to accept the resident in a couple of days. To understand
that my absence will be temporary.”

She
sighed. “I wouldn’t tell anyone else this, but nothing would thrill me more
than coming back to find she prefers the resident.”

“Know
how you feel.”

“I’m
so
drained,
Alex. Every minute I’m not at the office, I’m over at the
hospital. Now it’s Gram. Sometimes I feel I’m a host and everyone else is a
parasite. Isn’t that horrible? No one forced me to take this job.”

I put
my arm around her. She remained stiff for a moment, then dropped her head on my
shoulder. Her hair tickled my nose. I tolerated it.

A few
moments later, she said, “I know there’s a lot I need to say to you, but I just
don’t have the energy. So could we just go to bed and not have sex? I’ll
understand if you say no, but if you could find it within yourself, I’d really
appreciate it.”

I got
up and took her hand.

“Thank
you,” she said. “At least I’ve got a friend.”

* * *

She’s
fond of her body and usually strips down in front of me. This time she
undressed in the bathroom and emerged with her bra and panties on. I was nude,
beneath the covers. When she crawled in and I felt the mattress bounce, I got
hard and turned to keep that out of view.

She
sensed it anyway, rolled over, squeezed, let go.

“It’s
so ready,” she said. “Sorry.” Lying on her back, she dropped a smooth white arm
over her eyes.

“No
apologies necessary,” I said. I needn’t have bothered. She was fast asleep,
breathing through her mouth, bra cups heaving.

I
knew sleep wouldn’t come my way. Way off my biorhythm and too many things on my
mind.

Tomorrow
morning. What approach should I take with Monica Strunk?

Would
Valerie be able to connect with another therapist?

Where
was Miranda?

Would
my role as a police surrogate make
any
approach to the girls futile and
would I end up reporting failure to Judy Weisvogel?

Man
in a tree.

Baby
bracelet.

Trying
to breathe myself calm, I worked at shutting out the case.

Thought
about a call I’d need to make sooner or later.

Sooner
rather than later, given the circumstances.

As
Allison slept, I rehearsed mentally.

Ring
ring ring.

It’s
me.

Oh,
hi.

How’re
you doing?

Okay.
You?

Hanging
in.

That’s
good.

I
thought I might drop over. Visit Spike.

Sure,
that’s fine. I’ll be here, too.

The
End

ABOUT
THE AUTHOR

JONATHAN
KELLERMAN is one of the world’s most popular authors. He has brought his
expertise as a clinical psychologist to numerous bestselling tales of suspense,
including the Alex Delaware novels,
The Butcher’s Theater, Billy Straight,
The Conspiracy Club,
and
Twisted.
With his wife, the novelist Faye
Kellerman, he co-authored the bestseller
Double Homicide.
He is also the
author of numerous essays, short stories, scientific articles, two children’s
books, and three volumes of psychology, including
Savage Spawn: Reflections
on Violent Children.
He has won the Goldwyn, Edgar, and Anthony awards, and
has been nominated for a Shamus Award. Jonathan Kellerman lives in California
and has four children. Visit the author’s website at www.jonathankellerman.com.

Rage
is a
work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of
the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2005 by Jonathan Kellerman

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an
imprint of The Random House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc.,
New York.

Ballantine and colophon are registered trademarks of
Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kellerman, Jonathan.

Rage / Jonathan Kellerman.

p. cm.

eISBN 0-345-48477-0

1. Delaware, Alex (Fictitious character)— Fiction. 2.
Sturgis, Milo (Fictitious character)— Fiction. 3. Police— California— Los Angeles—
Fiction. 4. Juvenile justice, Administration of— Fiction. 5. Girls— Crimes
against— Fiction. 6. Los Angeles (Calif.)— Fiction. 7. Psychologists— Fiction.
I. Title.

PS3561.E3865R34 2005b

813¹.54— dc22 2005042101

Ballantine Books website address:

www.ballantinebooks.com