Rain (17 page)

For a few minutes they ate in silence, and then Tommy Lee said, "You know what?"

"What?"

"I have been hoping and hoping that you would come back to Perdido."

"I'm here."

"I mean for good," said Tommy Lee. " 'Cause you know why?"

"Why?"

" 'Cause when you got back, I was gone ask you to marry me."

"I know that," said Lilah.

"You did!"

"Of course I knew that, Tommy Lee. Every fool in town knew that. And I'm no fool."

"So you would have said no?"

Lilah considered this. "Maybe. Maybe not." She considered a few moments more. "Probably I would have said no."

"Why?" Tommy Lee asked with more curiosity than chagrin.

"Because that's what everybody would have wanted. That's what everybody would have expected. If I had married you, it would have been just like Miriam and Malcolm all over again. I didn't want that. It's not that I think you and I would have been unhappy, Tommy Lee, it's just that I have no intention of hanging around this place doing what people expect me to do."

"So you married that other man instead?"

"That's right."

"Is he as smart as you are, Lilah?"

"No. He's not even as smart as you are, Tommy Lee, not when it comes to practical stuff. But Michael knows a lot about plasma physics, and I guess he'll probably be important someday. And he does what I tell him to."

"Guess he'd have to do that."

They were silent for a few minutes, then Lilah sent Tommy Lee down to the kitchen for more coffee. When he came back up, she had put aside the tray and brushed the crumbs off the covers onto the floor. She sat up straight in the bed, brushing her hair.

"Don't you be upset now," she warned him.

"About what?" he asked, pouring coffee into the cup that she had placed on the bedside table.

"About me not marrying you."

"I'm not upset," said Tommy Lee. "I told you, I'm just disappointed. I'm real unhappy, but I'm not upset."

"Now I'm going to tell you something," said Lilah. "But I'm not going to tell you this unless you promise not to breathe a word of it to anybody—not Grace and Lucille, not Miriam, not Elinor, and not anybody."

"I promise," said Tommy Lee solemnly. "You want me to shut the door?"

"Nobody's around," said Lilah, dismissing that suggestion. "I want you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"I want you to be smart."

"Lilah, I'm not sure—"

"I want you to learn everything there is to learn about those damned wells out there, and whatever else it is that makes this family so damned much money."

"That I can do."

"And then you come up to New York and you visit Michael and me and tell me all about it. Everything you can find out, you understand?"

"All right," said Tommy Lee.

Lilah smiled. Indulgently, she condescended to explain: "I'm going to inherit from somebody somewhere along the line. Maybe from Daddy, maybe from Miriam, maybe from Elinor—who knows? So then I'm going to be rich. I'm also going to be a lawyer. Now what nobody else knows here is that at Columbia I majored in business."

"Business!"

"Shhh! Yes. I told everybody I was majoring in English, but really and truly I majored in business." Her brush was caught in a tangle of her long hair and she paused until she had drawn it free. "And what I intend to do is come back here sometime— sometime, Tommy Lee, so don't be getting your hopes up—and you and I are going to show this place what we can do. We're going to have more money than we know what to do with."

"We have that already," Tommy Lee pointed out.

"Then we're going to have five times that. And you and I are going to do it together."

"Are you thinking of a divorce?" he asked innocently. "Already?"

Lilah pointed her brush at him menacingly. "You are beginning to ask too many questions, Tommy Lee Burgess."

E
linor announced that she wanted to give a little party for Lilah before she went back to New York to celebrate her marriage to the unknown Dr. Michael Woskoboinikow. Lilah reluctantly agreed, but only because Lilah had affection and respect for her grandmother. "I just don't want too many people," Lilah remarked. "I don't want to get my arm shaken off and have to answer five hundred stupid questions about New York City. That's what I don't want."

"It will be just family," returned Elinor. "Since Michael isn't here, we can't very well ask anybody but family. There would be too many questions."

"You mean just have everybody for dinner one night, that's all you mean?" Lilah asked, relieved.

"Yes," replied Elinor. "But just a bit more formal than usual. If you didn't bring any, get Miriam to lend you some of her jewelry."

So Elinor Caskey planned a small family dinner party for the night before Lilah was to fly back to New York. Billy and Malcolm and Tommy Lee bought new black dinner jackets, and Grace and Lucille went to Pensacola and bought new gowns. The dining room table was to be set with Mary-Love's wedding china, Elinor's best cut-glass crystal, and a set of James's silver that had been taken out of the house before it burned.

No one knew why, but there was something melancholy about the preparations for this occasion. Perhaps it was the unwonted care that Elinor took with it, fussing over details in a fashion that wasn't common with her. She sent Malcolm to New Orleans for a new tablecloth, and arranged for a florist to come up from Mobile to arrange the flowers on Friday morning. Zaddie and Luvadia and Melva were to serve, and each of these three black women got new gray uniforms just for that evening.

"Elinor," Billy asked curiously, seeing all this business afoot, "are you planning on something special?"

"No," Elinor replied after a few moments. "This is all just because we weren't able to give Lilah a proper wedding..."

Friday night came, and all that remained of the family gathered at Elinor's. Malcolm arrived first and set up equipment needed to mix drinks, all such tasks long having fallen to his lot. Then Billy came downstairs to keep Malcolm company, and soon Lucille, Grace, and Tommy Lee arrived in their rarely driven Cadillac. Lucille, distressed by a new girdle, and Grace, a little unsure of her high heels, came up the front steps just as Elinor was coming down the stairs from the second floor. Miriam and Lilah came last, a strange pair making their way across the sandy yards in the refulgent Southern twilight; Miriam in purple velvet and diamonds and Lilah in green silk and emeralds.

They mounted the front steps and went onto the porch. Miriam knocked softly on the screen door. Zaddie appeared in her new starched uniform and opened the door.

"Evening, Miss Miriam. Evening, Miss Lilah."

"Evening, Zaddie," returned Miriam. "Everybody here?"

"Everybody here but you. And y'all sure are pretty tonight."

"Thank you," said Lilah simply, and actually blushed for the compliment.

Zaddie opened the doors of the front parlor, and Miriam marched directly in, saying, "Malcolm, have you fixed me a drink yet?"

Lilah lingered a little behind Zaddie, and then, as if gathering her courage—or maybe realizing that courage should not be an issue when only in the midst of her own family—Lilah entered the room, and sat next to Tommy Lee on the couch.

Zaddie and Luvadia then brought in two coolers with bottles of champagne. Malcolm opened the bottles and poured.

At Elinor's direction, Zaddie and Luvadia returned with Melva, and the three women stood in the doorway. They were given glasses of the champagne as well.

"The first toast," said Elinor, standing with her back to the front window, just in the place where Miriam remembered finding Mary-Love in her coffin, "is to Lilah, who is, at least for the time being, the last of the Caskeys. The next toasts will be to the Caskeys who have died. This party is as much in remembrance of them as it is in celebration of Lilah's marriage. Lilah, I hope you don't mind..."

Lilah shook her head and smiled. "No, ma'am," she said softly. "Not a bit."

The room was lighted softly, by candles and by sconces only. Was it that flattering illumination that made Lilah seem so suddenly altered, so softened?

Elinor smiled and continued. "I want to toast Oscar," said Elinor quite simply. "I don't know if any of you—except for Billy and Zaddie—have realized how much I miss him, and how empty this house seems to be without him. Whenever I hear his radio upstairs, I have to stop myself from hoping that it is Oscar, sitting in his chair and turning the dial from one ball game to the other. I think to myself, 'That's Billy, that's not Oscar.' Mary-Love used to say that the reason I came to this town was in order to snare her son. She always said that I was lying in wait for him—and for nobody else—upstairs in the Osceola in the flood of 1919." Elinor smiled. "Mary-Love was right. And this toast is for Oscar."

She raised her glass. They all raised their glasses, and drank off the champagne. Malcolm went quietly around, pouring more.

"This next is for Sister," Elinor went on, "whom we all loved, and whom Miriam loved most of all. Poor Sister! She was never allowed to do anything on her own, never allowed to have anything or feel anything that was hers alone. She loved or hated always in contrariness. She fought all of her life, and I don't think any of us ever really knew how hard those battles were for her. Sister, more than anybody I think, got to the root of this family, because of all of us, she was the most desperate. She fought harder and she clung harder, and when she changed—in the end—she changed more than any of us could ever have imagined possible. She became Mary-Love all over again, the one she hated most, the one that she loved the most. She was unhappy all her life, desperately unhappy, and if she came back now, if she walked in those doors and had a chance to do it all over again, I know she'd say, 'I want everything just the same.' So here's to Sister, whom I miss very, very much."

She raised her glass. They all raised their glasses, and again drank off the champagne.

Elinor went on: "One more. Just one more. For James and Queenie and Mary-Love. All of you remember them as parents, and aunts and uncles, but I don't. I remember them differently. For one thing, I was the only one who was able to fight with Mary-Love on an even basis. And I was the only one who ever won a fight with her. I'm not going to say I miss her. Miriam, I wouldn't lie to you even about that. Her coffin stood right here, right where I'm standing. She died in the room directly above this one. I wasn't one bit sorry at the time, and I'm not one bit sorry now. I know how unhappy she made Oscar, I know what she did to Sister. And, Miriam—you're not going to appreciate my saying this—I know what she did to you." Miriam sat stiffly, staring at Elinor, but not venturing to object. "I wonder sometimes if I made a mistake in giving you up to Mary-Love. Mary-Love and I fought and we fought hard—harder than most of you can imagine, even now—and Miriam, you got caught in the middle."

Elinor paused, as if she expected Miriam to speak.

Miriam did so, but with obvious reluctance. "I've never really forgiven you, Mama, that's true. I know we get along all right these days, but you're so old— and I'm getting up there myself. I've got Mary-Love's ring now, the one you stole off her when she was dead. And I managed to get Lilah away from you, and that made me feel better. But I don't think I ever really forgave you, and I don't think that I ever will."

"I know that," said Elinor. "But the question is, if it could all be done over again right from the beginning, would you change anything?"

"No," replied Miriam, without hesitation. "Not a bit."

"Just like Sister," murmured Grace. "Poor Sister."

"And poor James," said Elinor, "and poor Queenie. Mary-Love walked all over James because James let her. Mary-Love couldn't stand Queenie because Queenie was a Strickland, but she didn't have Ge-nevieve's class. I remember when Queenie came to town. Malcolm, you were a little boy—a mean little boy. And Lucille, you were a whiner. I never saw a child who cried more than you did. And all Queenie could think about was getting herself taken care of by James. But Queenie changed—and it was James's doing—because James took her seriously, and I don't think anybody had ever taken Queenie seriously before. Lucille, I hope you miss her."

"I do!" cried Lucille. "I sure do!"

"I do, too," said Malcolm.

"And me, too," said Tommy Lee.

"And I miss Daddy," sighed Grace.

"Y'all," cried Lucille, grasping Grace's hand and wringing it tightly, "all this is making me so sad. Let's don't talk about it anymore. Let's don't talk about all the people who have died. I thought this was a party for Lilah, and Lilah's getting married to what's-his-name."

"Woskoboinikow," said Lilah. "His name is Wos-koboinikow. And so is mine now. But you know what, Lucille?"

"What?" said Lucille.

"We all die," said Lilah. "All of us. Every one of us in this room is going to die, sooner or later. Every one of us."

"But we don't have to talk about it!" cried Lucille.

"Y'all," said Zaddie from the doorway. "It's about time y'all sat down to the table. All my good food's gone get cold if you don't."

The Caskeys drank the last of the champagne in their glasses, put the glasses aside, and filed into the dining room.

Lilah, as guest of honor, was seated at the foot of the table in Oscar's old place, and Elinor had her accustomed place at the head.

In lieu of a blessing, Elinor said, "Here we are, the Caskeys who remain. We are fewer than we used to be, and we are—I am happy to say—much richer than we used to be. We have, in fact, everything that I always hoped that we would have. Yet things never turn out quite the way you think they will. But that doesn't matter, not in the least. Sister and Miriam are right. No matter what you've gone through, no matter what you've done and suffered, no matter what horrible mistakes you've made, no matter what you've given up that you should have held on to, no matter what you've held on to that you should have let go, no matter what has happened to make you unhappy, you cannot wish for it to have happened any other way." She looked around the table. Zaddie came in with the first of the dishes, a platter of pheasant that Tommy Lee had shot and hung the month before. Elinor smiled and fingered the ropes of black pearls about her neck. "Thank you, Zaddie," she said.