Rain (15 page)

Liz was in my room within fifteen minutes of school getting out. She hadn’t wasted any time. She squealed when she saw me and hugged me tightly.

“Oh my god! I can’t believe you are here!” she exclaimed. 

“Me either,” I replied. It still felt surreal, like a dream I could wake up from at any moment.

She examined me and gave me a quizzical look. “You told Kyle first,” she accused, hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. Oh she was good. “Don’t lie. I know you did.”

I was totally busted. I gave her a ‘guilty, I’m busted, but please don’t kick my ass’ smile.

“Don’t worry. I’m not judging. If I had him across from my house, I would end up there first too.” She smiled with a dreamy expression.

I laughed. “You apparently know me way too well.”

“Yup. I do. That is my job as your best friend.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“No I’m not mad. How could I be?” she told me, and her expression did not waver. She looked happy, and for the first time since she’d found out I was sick, she wasn’t just pretending for me. “When you are up for it, we are totally going shopping. You need new clothes that fit and an outfit that says, ‘Do bad things to me, Mr. Thorne of Hotness.’” She was completely animated as she spoke.

I broke out laughing. “You are a problem,” I said between giggles. “I would like to get some new clothes when I’m up to it though.”

“Good. Tell me when you are ready and we will storm the stores.” She winked.

We lay on my bed and chatted for a while. It was almost like before, except my energy faded fast. Instead of staying up and talking well past midnight, I was ready to go to bed again around five. I felt lame.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

My first two months in remission went pretty fast. I regained my strength bit by bit, and my hair even began to make an appearance again. I hadn’t gained all of my weight back yet either, but luckily I went shopping with Liz to get a new wardrobe for the time being. Every day I felt better than the day before, and I looked forward to feeling
normal
again. Although I wasn’t sure if I remembered what normal actually felt like, but hopefully I’d recognize it when I experienced it again.

Kyle and I spent a lot of time together between his house and mine. Today he was coming over, and I couldn’t wait. He made me laugh and forget that I was sick. Things with him were easy and comfortable, and I loved it. It hadn’t been like that with Austin. I had been comfortable with him, but it wasn’t the same kind of comfort, and things hadn’t just fallen together like they had with Kyle. Liz had been telling me to make a move on him for a while, but I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had. Plus I was still technically sick and didn’t want to put that burden on him. I wished things were different so maybe we could have a chance.

I pulled out some homework and began working on it. The school was working with me to help me get back on track. I would have to continue to do school through the summer, but then it was possible that I could move on with the rest of my class. The doorbell rang, and I instantly forgot about homework. Kyle was here early. Homework could be done later. I had my priorities.

I swung the door open smiling and froze when I saw Austin standing in the doorway. My smile quickly turned into a frown as I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him. He was smiling that smile that used to make me melt. Now it just made me angry.

“You look good,” he told me, still grinning.

I could tell he wanted to come in, but I stepped outside instead, shutting the door behind me. The compliment made me want to smack him.

“What do you want, Austin?” I snarled.

Just then, I saw Kyle walking toward us, his eyes on Austin with a cold expression he’d never used on me. Austin hadn’t noticed.

“You,” Austin responded lamely.

A laugh escaped my mouth before I could choke it down. Kyle approached us and stepped in front of me just as Austin tried to reach out to me.

“You left her when she needed you most, and now that she is better, you want her?” Kyle growled as he glared at Austin. I could see the anger grow in Kyle.

I stood still, surprised that Kyle was getting involved in my problem.

“This doesn’t concern you,” Austin challenged, and Kyle stepped even closer to Austin.

“That girl,” Kyle yelled, pointing toward me, “is amazing. She loved you, and you didn’t care enough to be there for her. Now you want her back because she doesn’t look like she could die at any moment, you shallow piece of shit.” He tore into him, his voice continuing to rise.

Austin was looking from Kyle to me, not sure what to do. No one ever got in Austin’s face, so I think this was a first for him. I wanted to cry and hug Kyle all at the same time. The only word I processed out of that was
amazing.
He thought I was amazing. I didn’t feel amazing, but boy did I like him saying that I was.

“I’m here for Taylor!” Austin yelled back.

“I suggest you leave. Now,” Kyle warned, getting right in Austin’s face. There were only centimeters separating them now.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Austin bit out as he began to push Kyle out of his way. 

The next events happened way too fast. I stood in horror as Kyle grabbed Austin’s arm with impressive speed and force and twisted it back toward Austin before he planted his fist in Austin’s face. I heard the crack and then Austin was on the ground.

“Oh my god!” I squeaked out.

Kyle was already advancing on Austin again before I had time to react. Austin pushed himself up and swung toward Kyle, but he dodged it and launched himself on top of Austin. Kyle was now on top of Austin, on the ground, hitting him repeatedly.

“STOP!” I shrieked. I ran to them, although it felt like I was crawling. I reached Kyle and tried to pull him away, but he didn’t budge. I was weak and he was very strong, way stronger than I’d expected him to be. “Kyle, please stop,” I pleaded, still trying to pull at him.

He finally heard me and released his death grip on Austin, letting me tug him back. Tears were sliding down my face, and through blurred vision I could see an impressive amount of blood on Austin’s face and clothes. I heard him moan as he rolled onto his knees and hands. I let go of Kyle, and he turned to look at me. I didn’t meet his eyes; I didn’t want to look at him. I felt sick.

“Go home,” I ordered Kyle without meeting his eyes.

“Taylor,” he pleaded softly.

“Go,” I cried.

He stepped toward me. Hesitantly, he reached his hand out and gently and slowly wiped a tear off my face.

I scrunched my eyes closed. “Please,” I whispered.

He dropped his hand, and I could feel him turn away. Austin had deserved to be punched—hell, I wanted to punch him—but what terrified me was that Kyle hadn’t been stopping. He could have killed him if I hadn’t intervened.

I opened my eyes and watched as Kyle entered his house and slammed the door behind him. I flinched at the loud bang that resulted.

I turned toward Austin, who was now standing, cradling his stomach. He was in rough shape, but he would live. Without a word, I turned and went into my house to wet a cloth before bringing it back out. I gently cleaned his face off with it. He would look even worse tomorrow.

I wonder what he will tell his friends.
I held my smile back. Now that I could see he wasn’t as damaged as he had looked when Kyle was attacking him, I wasn’t feeling as bad. He had hurt me, and I’d wanted him to hurt back. I wasn’t sure what kind of person that made me, but I was too exhausted to care. Most of the blood looked like it had come from his nose.

“Your nose might be broken,” I told him.

“Peachy,” he said sarcastically as he grabbed my arm and pulled it away from his face. “I meant what I said, Taylor. I want you,” he declared.

I rolled my eyes at him, yanking my arm from his grasp. “I don’t want you. So you are out of luck, Austin. I’m still sick, and if things get bad again, you will just leave again.” I pulled off my wig to prove my point. Wisps of hair were beginning to grow back, but the healthy person he thought he saw was fake. “You will live. You can leave now,” I ordered, standing my ground.

“I won’t leave you again,” he assured me, but I wasn’t buying it.

“Not going to happen. I have nothing left to say, so leave,” I demanded.

“Because of your new boyfriend?” he asked angrily.

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I growled. “I don’t love you anymore, Austin. Maybe I never did.”

That shut him up for a minute.

“You can’t mean that,” he said sadly.

“I don’t know, Austin. I do know if you loved me as much as you claimed you would have stood by me. A person I barely knew stood by me, but the guy who claimed to love me, and had been dating me for almost a year couldn’t. That is what I know. With that knowledge, I don’t want anything to do with you. I’m not insane. I’m not going to make the same mistake, and expect a different result,” I said coldly.

His face had paled and his body was limp, looking helpless. He swallowed hard and nodded before he limped away.

I looked up and saw Kyle watching me through his window. I gave him a sad smile before turning my back to him and going back inside my house. So much for hanging out with him today… I had been looking forward to it, but after everything that had just happened, I was too emotionally drained. I wasn’t even sure how to approach him after sending him away, so I decided to take a nap and figure everything else out later.

When I tossed the bloody cloth in the trash, I noticed that some blood had adhered to my shirt. After I changed into gym shorts, I saw Kyle’s shirt in my drawer and slipped it on after I’d threw the shirt I had been wearing in the laundry. I didn’t think I would be seeing him today, so I thought his shirt could bring me comfort.

I fell asleep thinking about what Kyle defending me the way he had meant. I had never seen him that angry before. It probably should have made me afraid, but it did the opposite.

***

I awoke to a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I half-grumbled groggily.

The door opened and Kyle walked in looking unsure of being here. Sleepiness immediately ceased, and I got off the bed.

“Your mom let me in,” he explained, looking down. He was afraid that I was going to kick him out, but I wasn’t. I was glad to see him.

He peeked up at me through his eyelashes, probably waiting for me to be pissed at him. His eyes opened wide and swept over my body. Surprise crossed his face before a huge smile appeared. I looked down, confused at his reaction, and saw that I was wearing his shirt. I had totally forgotten. Not only that, but it looked like I had nothing else on because it was so long on me that it covered my shorts. Holy crap. My cheeks flushed, and I wanted to hide.

“I…I didn’t think you were going to come over anymore,” I said nervously. I met his gaze, which was filled with heat.

I almost didn’t. I didn’t think you wanted me to,” he admitted.

I stepped toward him, acutely aware of him watching me closely. “I’m not mad at you. I was a little freaked out earlier, but I’m not anymore,” I said honestly.

His gaze was still sweeping me steadily, making my skin tingle and my stomach flutter. “I didn’t mean to upset you. What he did just made me incredibly angry. I’m sorry,” he apologized, meeting my eyes again.

“I’m not accepting your apology,” I declared, and worry swept across his face, making me smile. “But I will thank you,” I continued, confusing him even more. “For caring enough about me to want to protect me and defend me. That means a lot.” I walked up to him and hugged him.

He hesitated before he returned the hug and then pulled me closer to him. “So… You should probably put some pants on…” His voice came out huskily in my ear.

I let go of him and pulled the shirt up, flashing my bright blue shorts, smirking at him.

“It really looked like you only had my shirt on… Not that I’m complaining.” His voice came out smoothly again.

I arched my eyebrow at him, compelled by his statement. Then again, I could tell he didn’t mind with the look he’d had when he first saw me.

I didn’t really know how to respond to what he’d said, so I chose to ignore it. “Want to watch something?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Sure,” he said, sitting on my bed.

I turned on the TV and started up Netflix. There was always something on Netflix. I sat down next to Kyle and scrolled through the movies. My parents had been better about letting me have guys in my room—well, one guy. There weren’t any others visiting me. It was more comfortable for me to lie on my bed. Plus, the door stayed open.

“Want to watch Hachi?” I asked, seeing it as one of the options.

He looked at me pointedly. “You want to watch a movie where the dog dies at the end?”

“The dog dies in the end?” I exclaimed, mortified that the dog died and that he’d just given it away.

“In what dog movie doesn’t the dog die in the end? I think the dog even dies in Air Bud.”

I laughed at his argument. “Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine. No dog movies for you.” I couldn’t help but smile at him. “And for your information, the dog does not die in Air Bud!”

“Well, every other dog movie then.” He smirked, and I pushed him playfully. He laughed his deep, infectious laugh.

I never wanted to miss that laugh or the smiles he gave to me freely. It drew me in and tugged laughter and genuine smiles from me. It wasn’t like that with my parents or other people. I didn’t laugh as much or smile as much, although Liz definitely knew how to make me laugh too with her ridiculous antics. I had a feeling it was the same for Kyle.

I had met his dad a few times, and Kyle’s demeanor always changed and was more serious. On occasion, I would see him through a window outside, and he never looked as animated or happy like he was when he spent time with me. Who knows. Maybe that was just what I wanted to think.