Raised By Wolves Volume four- Wolves (94 page)

mouth.I snorted. “We will do whatever we wish in our own

house. The king himself has told me he does not care what I do in my house; and if he ever does care, fuck him: we will go elsewhere.”

Gaston took a deep breath as if he had just recalled something. He looked to Yvette earnestly. “Willyoumarryme?”
She blinked and looked around him toward the carriages. I saw Chris standingthere.
“Oh, she is married to Pete and bearinghis child,”I said.
“Oh, Gods,” Yvette muttered and began laughing. She met Gaston’s gaze. “Truly? Thenoui, I willmarryyougladly.”
“See, everythingwillbe well,”I teased.
“Pete?” Agnes asked. She was still looking toward Chris, who was lookingtoward us withtrepidation.
“There is someone you should see, perhaps,” Yvette said and hurried off.
I waved Chris over. She approached sheepishly with a protective Pete inher wake.
Agnes’ wide mouth was pulled down at the corners, but then her gaze flicked to Pete and wonder lit her eyes. “You will have
beautiful
children.”
Chris laughed, only to quickly sober. “I don’t want there to be trouble betweenus.”
“We will need to live in the same house—or at least on the same grounds,”I said.
“And you will be Lady Dorshire,” Chris said. “I… I am not your rivalinanyway.”
Agnes drew herself taut, as if bridling, and then just as quickly released the tension in a prolonged sigh. “Nay, you are not.” Her tone was not dismissive, but it said much of how she viewed whatever relationship theywould have inthe future.
Chris smiled and leaned forward to whisper in Agnes’ ear untilmywife’s mouthfinallytwitched into a reluctant smile.
“We did vow that, didn’t we?”Agnes said quietly.
“And look what we have now,”Chris said.
Agnes smiled withsincerity. “We willmake this work.”
I wished to ask what they had vowed, but knew I never should. And then Gaston was gasping and handing Agnes little Uly. I looked up and saw red curls and green eyes in the most beautifulbabyface I had ever beheld.
“This is Athena,”Yvette said and offered the child to her parents.
Chris took in a shaky breath and shook her head. Her gaze settled onGastonand she whispered, “She is yours.”
Gastonhesitated but for a moment, and thenhis daughter was in his arms. She viewed himlike a cat looks upon a dog, as if she would tolerate himwell enough if he did not anger her, but she would swat him just as quickly. I thought of dates, and decided she was a few months shyoftwo years ofage.
“And, it is my understanding this is Lord Marsdale,” Yvette said.
I turned and saw another red-headed child, this one our son, Apollo. He still had his father’s eyes, just as his sister did, and he regarded us as cautiously as she did as well; though, perhaps witha little less confidence.
“Oui, that is myheir,”I said.
“Papa?”a smallvoice called up fromthe side ofYvette’s skirt.
“And that is Jaime,” I said with pleasure as I spied the dark curls and prettyface ofour eldest.
She squealed with delight and came to wrap herself around mylegas ifI had not beenabsent for a year.
“And how are my grandchildren?” the Marquis asked loudlyas he came to joinus.
“Grandpere!” Jaime squealed, and then the Marquis had her attached to his leg until he could pull her up into his arms. I worried for his back.
I looked at the other children and found Apollo smiling broadlyat his grandfather, and evenAthena smiled a little. Agnes and Yvette beamed at the old man.
Chris was smiling at him as well. I had not seen them

speak since she arrived, but they were cordial to one another

 

speak since she arrived, but they were cordial to one another whentheir gazes met. I supposed we would work that out, too.

Pete was peering at Athena. He caught me looking at himand sighed. “If we have girls, I’ll have to teach themto fight better thanthe boys.”

I laughed. “Your boys willbe beautiful, too.” He snorted.
I chuckled anew. We would be one big beautiful family,

and we would live together ina house filled withlove. I met Gaston’s gaze, and my happiness slipped away.
He was pensive. Glancing beyond him, I saw ambuscades in
Yvette’s eyes as she looked uponGastonand Athena. “Let us go in and eat?” I asked hopefully. “We are
famished after ridingallday.”
“Oui, oui,”Yvette said and led us inside, where many of
our friends already were. Theodore came to meet us and show
off his daughter, and Striker arrived with a boy on each hip to
present to Pete. We sat and supped with children all around and
good cheer in the air. I did not find it heady now, though. All I
wished to do was speak quietly with either my matelot or his
future wife.
Finally, I saw my chance when Yvette slipped away. I
followed her into the yard and waited while she used the latrine.
She was surprised to find me as she emerged.
“What is wrong?”I asked.
She sighed and shook her head. “I amsorry. We should
be happyand…”
“Non, non, non,”I chided lightly.

She sighed again and squared her shoulders. “The

She sighed again and squared her shoulders. “The children.”
“Theyare not well?”
She awarded me a compressed smile. “They are… different.”
I sighed. “How do you know?” But it was a foolish question. I had already seen it about Athena. “They are his in all ways, non?”
She nodded. “I think so. His mother was mad, non? And his sister?”
“How… does it… Theydo not evenspeak yet.”
Yvette snorted and led me to a bench at the edge of yard. It was lit by dimlamplight. “Apollo and Athena can speak like childrentwice their age. Eliza, Pike and Jaime…”She sighed anew. “Well, Jaime is another matter.”
“Is she stupid?”I asked.
“When compared with Eliza and Pike, oui, and… Even the other women see it. Jaime has great difficulty… If you tell Pike not to touch a thing, and it is a thing he wants, he will try and sneak to it—not with malice, but as children do to see if you truly meant ‘non’. But if he is swatted for it, he will stop. Jaime will continue to seek the thing again and again, even if punished. And she will cry every time she is punished, as if it is a great unfairness. And if you ask her if the thing she is doing is a bad thing she willsay it is and then do it again anyway. It is not out of evil or malice, it just seems that she does not understand there are consequences. She does whatever comes into her head: when it comes into her head. And she has difficulty learning to speak—still. And she has trouble rememberingsimple tasks. She speak—still. And she has trouble rememberingsimple tasks. She is onlythree, but…”
“We will have to watch over her as if she were a younger child…”I asked.
Yvette sighed. “I have met an older woman like her. She had to be watched her entire life lest she do some stupid or dangerous thing.”
I sighed. “All right, then that is a burden we will bear. I thought there would be consequences withher beingpickled.”
Yvette nodded, and then we stared at one another with the thingwe had stopped talkingabout betweenus.
“They are truly not like the other children?” I finally

asked.She shook her head sadly. “The servants whisper of it.

Apollo and Athena… They are very smart, but they startle easily, and they do not like loud noises, and they will sit for an hour or more staring or playing with something that caught their eye. They are taciturn and moody—in a manner unlike other children. Sometimes it is as if they are far older children trapped in those little bodies, and then… All children have tantrums, but these two have themlike theyare possessed.”

I hissed at her choice ofword.

She shook her head ruefully. “I amsorry, I know… We must never allow that to be said.”
I sighed and embraced her apologetically. I wondered how in the name of the Gods we would teach two so young to

ride. “It will be a challenge,” I whispered. “Gaston and I

know how we deal with his madness, and he at least will know how we deal with his madness, and he at least will understand how theyfeeland what theysee.”

“That is my hope for them,” she said. “But I saw you all so happy, and then I saw him looking at her and I knew he

 

knew.”“As did I.”

“How could I not know?” Gaston asked from the shadows closer to the door.
We started, and Yvette stood and hurried to himto kiss his cheek before slippinginside.
He came to me and I could see the weight of a thousand burdens about his shoulders. I pulled him down beside me and embraced him.
“This is not yours alone to bear,” I said. “And we know it is not madness as others might think, but…”
“Will,”he said tiredly, “I know what it is. I know that ifit is mishandled they will become like my sister and mother—like I was before you. I know we willstrive not to mishandle them. But damn it, Will, I have done what I did not wish to do. I have cursed two children with an affliction I knew I would pass to any child I sired. But I did it anyway. It was willful and selfish and I knew better, and they will suffer for it. And one of them is your heir. I have…”
“Suchhubris,”I chided.
He tensed inmyarms and snorted against myshoulder.
I held him tighter. “What else are you profoundly sure of?”I asked witha lighter tone.
He snorted again. “That we will love them. That we will love them no matter how they are. That we will tear the world love them no matter how they are. That we will tear the world apart to make it safe for them. That… you love me, and forgive me, and feelthat ifthere is any blame it is the Gods’, as I did not truly set out to father either of them, and…” He sighed, and then he returned myembrace withfervor. “Myheart aches.”
“Do youwishto killsomething?”I teased.
He chuckled ruefully. “Non, the other one.”
“Me too.”
He pulled away a little and pawed tears from his eyes. “What else did she say?”
I told himwhat Yvette had said ofJaime.
He sighed and looked heavenward to frown. “Do you believe the Gods gave themto us as a challenge?”
“I think perhaps the Gods help people who should be together find one another.”
He dropped his gaze to meet mine withcuriosity.
“Perhaps the children chose us. Perhaps we chose them. Truly, what would we do with normalchildren? Where would be the challenge? All that we have learned in healing you would be wasted. If these little souls wished to challenge themselves in life withafflictions, what better parents to have thanus?”
He gave me a rueful smile. “Your boys will probably be completely healthy and sane and spend their lives wondering what the hellis wrongwiththe rest ofus.”
He was correct, but I chuckled. “Non, being raised by a pair ofcentaurs willsurelydestroyanychance theymight have to be simple wolves or sheep.”
Gaston nodded thoughtfully. “What would it be like to not have to climb so far uphill to reach… This plateau—this place we can offer them as the starting point of their journey. Youonce wondered what would we have become ifwe had met one another as children, and thus been able to love one another and… provide that balm that we do for one another at the ages when we were most scarred. At least that is the way I have come to think ofit.”
I smiled. “By the Gods, if we could give a child the chance to start at even half the height we have attained these last years; they would surely be able to climb to heights we cannot even imagine.” I touched his chin and pulled his gaze to mine. “And it is equally true for those who might carry an affliction as it is for those who might not.”
He took a deep and calm breath and smiled. “I love

you.” “I love you.”

Hand in hand we returned inside to the warmth and happiness of our people. The farmhouse’s large main room was filled with talk of the House of Venus and ships and the future, but as we entered it stopped as Theodore stood and waved everyone to silence. With surprise, I regarded the cheerful faces turned toward us.

“Three cheers for our lord,
Will
, without whom none of this would be possible,”Theodore said happily.
They cheered. My heart swelled and ached until the pressure leaked from my eyes. I wished to protest that I had done nothing, but that would be wrong—a false humility. For all my fears that I had shattered their lives and dragged themto and fro… What had I truly done? I had brought them here: hauled them with us to a place higher than many of them had imagined; and bythe looks ofit, theywere allthe better for it.
I felt the tallest and proudest I ever had, but still my words were true. “Thank you, but I could not have done it without everyone ofyou.”
We waded in amongst them, and I let their love wash over me, knowingit for the Gods-givengift it was.
Later, when the drinking was finished and all began to seek slumber, Gaston and I withdrew to the nursery withYvette and Agnes. The women dismissed the maid and crawled onto a cot next to the crib in which my infant sons slept. Half the room was occupied by a large mattress upon which the rest of the children—all seven of them—slept curled and tangled together like contented puppies. The floor was full of dogs. It was the most wonderfuland safe place I had ever seen.
I carefully crept about and peered down at moonlit angelic faces. I wondered if Pike and James would miss the other children. I felt pity for them going to live with their mother in Rolland Hall. Henry—or Henrias I heard everyone calling him —and Eliza—as Elizabeth Theodore was now called—would remain with our children. With Pete and Chris’ child—children most likely—they would be raised as siblings to our brood. They would allbe our little herd ofcentaurs.
Gaston was standing where I had left himnear the door. I returned to him and found tears in his eyes and his fists clenched. “I amoverwhelmed,”he whispered.
I nodded and found a blanket before leading him to a corner near the window. It took a little time to convince Taro we really wanted a smallspace on the floor, but at last I was able to get us snuggled downamidst snoringdogs.
“How will we ever help themto find someone like you?” Gastonwhispered.
I envisioned the herd of colts on the bed as older creatures. I smiled. “They will learn to love and lean on one another untiltheyfind someone to teamwith.”
He took a shaky breath. “We have spoken of this before, but what iftheyfallinlove withone another?”
I sighed and kissed his cheek. “My love, I feel that is likely; and perhaps even desirable, as it will likely be difficult for them to find other centaurs. And I understand your fear, but I feel if we are honest with them as to who is related to whom— and manyofthemwillnot be related byblood at all—then…”
“What if my children fall in love? With one another,” he clarified.
There was much ofhis Horse in his voice. I was not sure what he might need to hear; and I was curious. “What if they do?”I asked lightly.
His breath caught and his voice wavered when he finally spoke. “I willnot do as myfather did.”
“Willyoudo as myfather did?”I asked.
He sighed. “Non, not that either.”
I kissed himgently. “My love, we cannot live in fear that theywill… make
our
mistakes.”
He took several deep breaths and rubbed my hand for a time until his Horse receded. “I am sure they will make new ones,”he said lightly.
I chuckled. “By the Gods, I am sure they will. And is it our place to stop themfromlearningthe trulyhard things the only waytheycanbe learned?”
“Non,” he sighed. “And I know we cannot spare them pain and…” He shrugged. Then his lips were on mine. “One of us must be sane,”he whispered whenhe released me.
He turned away and pressed his back to my chest. I happily obliged his need to be held, and wrapped my limbs about him. As I drifted off, I wondered how it would all work. Would we both need to be sane in the face of their possible madness? Or sadly, would there be times when our poor children would need to be sane in the face of ours? It would surely be a good thing that there would be more than us to raise them.
Thank the Gods.