Raw (36 page)

I whisper through my thick throat, “Dave.”

Nikki says a wobbly, “Naww, Dave! This is why I love to hate you! No man should be so sweet. You’re ruining us for all other men.”

Then, in perfect Dave style, he ruins the moment. “Okay, fine. No more sap. But tell me one thing…” He dramatically pauses for effect, then, “…how big is his wang?”

Nikki and I both cry out, “
Dave!
” then promptly burst into laughter.

That’s when Tony snatches the phone out of my hand, and putting on his best husky voice, tells them, “It’s a fucking beast.”

Laughing so hard that tears spring to my eyes, I listen in as Nikki shrieks with laughter. The very last thing I hear before he hangs up on my friends is Dave shouting, “
Holla!
”

Wiping under my eyes, I chuckle, “That was hilarious. Who knew you could crack a funny?”

Not saying a word, he smiles, pulling my bag off my shoulder and placing it on the floor by the door. He walks over to the sofa and sits. Then spreading his legs, he pops a pillow on the floor between them and orders, “Lexi, sit.”

If he didn’t just say my name, I’d be looking around to see who he was talking to. That’s just odd. I don’t want to sit on the floor.

“Um. I usually just sit there,” I tell him, pointing to the space free by his side.

Walking over to him, he pats his knee. “Lexi, sit.”

I suddenly feel like a dog being called to heel. It’s humiliating and completely degrading. I don’t want to start our day with a fight though, so I move next to him and say, “I’ll just sit in my normal spot,” while attempting to park my ass on the cushy sofa.

Just as my butt descends, he hooks an arm around my waist and pulls me down to the pillow between his feet. He mutters, “That’s better.”

My jaw steels.

This is my house. And I’ll sit where I damn well want to! This is absurd! Why am I allowing this?

I know he likes to be in control, but this is ridiculous.

Uncomfortable and rigid, I open my mouth to speak when he leans down and whispers in my ear, “I think you’ll find I usually get what I want.”

My brain’s mouth gapes.

The fucking nerve!

Suddenly, his hands come down on my shoulders and he rubs them firmly. My rigid posture collapses, my head falls forward, and I moan low in my throat. He says, “You work too hard. Got knots all over. You need a break. Let the little shits fend for themselves a while. Take some time off.”

I mumble, “They aren’t little shits.”

“Yeah, they are, babe. I know this because I used to be one of them. My caseworker was an asshole, though. Bitch used to hound me all the damn time ‘bout growing up and getting a job. Then when I got a job, she demanded that I quit.”

That’s unusual. My brow furrows. “What job?”

“Dealing weed.”

Laughter bursts out of me. “Oh, sweet lord. You would’ve been a handful. I’m glad I wasn’t your caseworker.”

“Baby, if you were my caseworker, I would be on the straight and narrow. And I would’ve done that shit just to impress you. Just like Mickey does.”

I smile. “How is Mickey? He doesn’t visit anymore.”

Bliss flows through me as Tony’s strong hands work my muscles into a pulp. He says, “Yeah, that’ll be my fault. I’m keepin’ him busy. Giving him lots a stupid shit to do. Things that really don’t even need to be done. I just don’t want him back on the streets dealing for easy money. I don’t want him to be what I am. I want him to be better. He’s gonna get a degree and be someone. Mark my words. The kid is smart.”

I know Michael is smart. He has so much potential. What I originally thought was a bad idea has turned into something I’m grateful for. I’m glad he’s working with Tony. He can learn a lot from him.

They can learn a lot from each other.

“Well, tell him to visit me. Mama Bear misses her cub.”

His hands still, and using his knees for leverage, I stand, shrugging out the kinks in my neck. Taking my hand, he spins me towards him, brings me between his open legs, and pulls me close. Looking up at me, he utters quietly, “You gonna listen next time I ask you to do something?”

Thankful for my shoulder rub, I reply breathily, “Yeah.”

His lip twitches. “Good girl.”

And I think I just fell more in love with this man.

“Angel, what is all this?” I ask, shoving a handful of chocolate into my mouth, peering at the bags and bags of groceries she and Happy trudge through the door and into the kitchen.

She yells out, “Shit! I forgot the damn milk!”

I can all but hear her pout from my place at the foot of the stairs.

Making my way to the kitchen, as soon as I see her standing in the middle of the room with a pout and her arms crossed, I smirk. “What’s the matter?”

She utters dejectedly, “I was attempting to be a good girlfriend and make you dinner and now it’s ruined, all because I forgot the freaking milk.” Walking over to her, I open my arms and she falls into me, muttering into my tee, “I’m sorry, babe. I was trying to do something nice.”

“It’s okay. It was the thought that counts, yeah? Anyways, I can drive you back to the store if you’re still up to cooking?”

Looking up at me with goo-goo eyes, she whispers, “Would you?”

I haven’t been to the grocery store in an age.

“Sure. Let’s go.”

And I was about to be reminded of why.

Tony finds a parking spot at the local grocery store and we both hop out of the car. Holding his hand out to me, I take it eagerly with a smile and all but skip to the entrance.

I can’t remember the last time I’d been so happy. All I know is that it had been a while. And Tony brought it out of me.

Hand-in-hand, we walk into the store and something pops into my head. “Can you get the milk? I just need to get some cinnamon while we’re here.”

“Sure,” he utters as we part ways.

Asking an attendant where the spices are kept, I make quick work of picking up what I need and dawdle towards the milk section.
 

We have been official for two weeks now. He made sure we saw each other every single day, going out of his way to come to me when it was late at night or I was just plain tired. Every single day we made it to the bedroom. And it’s been a far cry from our original arrangement. Don’t get me wrong, he is still very controlling…in and
out
of the bedroom, but there’s so much more to him that I’d never seen.

He’s tender. And sweet. And passionate.

Every kiss he places on my body is filled with affection, and although he hasn’t told me he loves me, his kisses convey exactly what he feels. And I
love
those knee-weakening kisses.

He spoils me too, bringing me something different every day and completely ignoring my pleas to stop. He said it was something I didn’t get a say in, and he said this firmly, so I dropped it. For now. The last gift he brought me was a bangin’ new stereo system to replace the crappy CD player he threw out the window. I never got around to replacing it, and as it was used as a sleeping aid, of course he got me something fancy and top of the line. The one I had cost me forty dollars on sale. And I was happy with that. When he handed me the remote and I stood there staring at it, he asked me what was wrong.
 

Wide-eyed, I replied, “I don’t want to break this doohickie.”

His lips twitched. “Doohickie?”

Shrugging, I told him, “Doohickie is a word.”

Tilting his head, he looked up in thought. “Doohickie. I like it.”

Smiling at the memory, I quicken my pace to get back to him. With his back to me, I see him speaking with a man who works at the store. Okay, so the
man
is actually a
boy
. In his late teens at most. And he looks nervous.

Then again, everyone looks nervous around Twitch.

As I approach, I hear the boy explain, “Well there’s a lot of types of milk. You’ve got your one and two percent, full cream, high calcium, omega three enriched, soy and almond milk…”

Walking closer, I hear Twitch tell the boy in frustration, “I just want milk.”

The boy points to the display. “There’s a lot to choose from. Which one do you need?”

Twitch hisses, “Any fucking thing!” Losing his temper, he shouts at the boy, “I just want regular fucking milk. Milk that you put in cereal, you little fuck!”

My stomach drops. A freak out was not on tonight’s agenda.

Placing my hand on his arm, he flinches. He turns his red face towards me and sighs in relief.
 
He sounds so defeated when he says, “Baby, I tried…”

Shushing him, I pick out the closest milk to me, take his hand and walk over to the checkout. We finalize our purchases and head back to the car. Halfway home, I ask gently, “You want to talk about what happened back there?”

He mutters, “Not particularly.”

Patting his hand on the center console, I say, “Okay. But if you want to, you can.”

We arrive home, and as soon as I move to open the door, he holds onto my hand, stopping my exit. “I always get a little stupid in grocery stores. It takes me back to when I was a kid.” Sitting back down in my seat, I gesture for him to continue. “You have no idea what it’s like being a kid on the street…”

I find this the perfect opportunity to let him in on a secret of my own. “Actually, for a year, when I was sixteen, I was a street kid too.”

He seems taken aback by this. “Really?” I nod, and with confusion written over his face, he asks, “Why?”

Playing with his fingers, I lower my gaze and explain, “I told you. My dad was an asshole.”

“What did your dad do to you?”

Anger threads this question, so I decide to tread lightly. “Um, nothing too bad. He liked to make me uncomfortable a lot and pull power trips over me. He played mind-games all the time. Like one day when I came home from school and he met me at the door with his hands on his hips. He said, ‘If you can’t play by my rules, I have to take something away from you.’” I shrugged. “I mean, I was just a kid. I told him I didn’t have anything to give. So he said, ‘It doesn’t matter, I’ve already taken something.’ And when I walked into the backyard, my dog was gone.”

Tony’s hand squeezes mine. I haven’t spoken about my dad in a long time. It feels good to get this off of my chest.

Losing myself in thought, I say bleakly, “I remember crying all night. All damn night. I was a mess. My dog was my best friend, apart from my brother. I was a child. Every child’s pet is their best friend.” Shaking my head as if to clear it, I continue, “The next night, I came home from school and Misty was wagging her tail at me like she’d always been there. And my heart broke all over again just from thinking she was gone forever. I cried and cried all over again. And there was Dad, smiling a cruel smile, knowing he’d broken a small piece of my spirit. When my brother started taking drugs to escape life at home, I knew I had to leave. Then my brother took off one night, and I had nothing to stay for anymore. So I left.”

As I finish, I find my hand being squeezed way too tightly. I look up to find Tony’s jaw set, and I attempt to laugh it off. “Mom wasn’t a bad person, she just wasn’t very maternal and worked long hours to get away from Dad.” When his face doesn’t change, I add, “Oh, look, it’s not like he touched me or anything.”