Reach for Tomorrow (6 page)

“Make a lot of money.”

“That takes a skill.”

He rolled over, boosted himself up on his elbows, and peered down at her face. “I can get that lecture from my sister.”

“I didn’t mean it the way it must have sounded. I was just making conversation.” In the candlelight flickering on the side of his face, Meg could appreciate how attractive he was.

“I’d rather go light on the conversation and …” He let the sentence trail off.

“And what?” Her pulse began to pound.

“I’d like to kiss you,” he said. “Can I?”

No boy had kissed her since Donovan, and she felt woefully out of practice. “Permission granted,” she told Eric.

He slid his arm beneath her shoulders and cradled her close. He touched her temple with his lips, sending small shivers down her spine. He kissed her softly on the forehead, then on the cheeks, and then fully on the mouth. The incredible sweetness of it all went through her like melting candle wax.

She let him trail kisses down her neck, along her throat, then back to her mouth. She reveled in the sheer physical pleasure of the moment. When he pulled back, she didn’t even open her eyes. She was floating on a sea of warmth, and she savored it the way a hungry person savors a succulent dollop of deep, rich chocolate.

“You taste good,” he whispered. “I really like you, Meg.”

She couldn’t answer. Although she’d experienced physical pleasure in his arms, a part of her felt disengaged and uninvolved. And some voice inside her was saying that he had done this before, and that it worked for him. He knew how to romance a girl, all right. He knew just what to do, just what buttons to push. She was certain that many girls had fallen for his charm, enjoyed his kisses.

“Your picnic was wonderful,” she said in his ear.
“Thank you. But I really have to be getting back. You know we’re always on call around here, and I shouldn’t leave Lacey alone with my group all evening.”

Eric’s expression turned to one of astonishment, but he recovered quickly. “Are you sure? It’s not
that
late. We’ve only been gone a little while.”

“Sorry,” she said with her sweetest smile.

If he was mad, he didn’t show it. He began to put things away. She helped him blow out the candles, pack up the basket, and fold the blanket.

“You okay?” he asked before they started back to the canoe.

“I’m fine, Eric. Better than I’ve been in months.”

He grinned. “Then we can do this again?”

She shook her head. “Probably not.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I’m not sure I do either, but this is the way it has to be.”

They returned to the canoe, got in, and paddled in silence back to the place they’d shoved off from. Once on land, Meg caught his hand. “Thank you, Eric. I really mean that.”

“Um—yeah, sure,” he said, but he looked totally confused in the pale light of the half moon.

Meg stood on tiptoe and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Then she turned and hurried back
toward her cabin, leaving Eric standing on the shore, shaking his head.

In nearby shadows, Morgan stood watching. So Eric had made a move and Meg had gone for it. Morgan felt an edgy spark of jealousy, an emotion he hadn’t felt since before Anne died.
It’s a free world
, he told himself.
She can do anything she wants, be with anybody she wants
. Still, his insides simmered.

There was nothing he could do about it, except maybe give Eric a wide berth for the next month. The guy got on his nerves. Morgan recalled the moves he himself had once put on Anne and how she’d turned him away. At the time, he’d been hurt. Then he’d learned of her HIV status, and he had been grateful. Anne had been a wonderful girl. He missed her.

Meg was the first girl to interest him since Anne, and she was attracted to a guy like Eric. “Figures,” Morgan said under his breath. Life just didn’t seem to have a way of working out for him. No, it surely didn’t.

T
wo nights later Morgan was sitting in the tack room rubbing saddle soap into a saddle thrown over a sawhorse when Josh strolled in.

“Would you mind a little company?” Josh asked.

“I thought there was some big movie everybody was watching tonight in the rec center,” Morgan answered. He wasn’t crazy about having company right then.

“I can’t get into it.” Josh lowered himself in an old chair. “They won’t miss me. I just needed some fresh air. I saw your light on and I knew you weren’t at the movie.”

“Movies bore me,” Morgan said, flipping the saddle around on the sawhorse so he could reach the other side.

“How do you like working at the camp so far?”

“The scenery’s pretty, but I miss the wide-open spaces of Colorado.”

“I’d like to go out there sometime. From the pictures I see, the place looks awesome.”

Morgan worked a few minutes in silence, then asked, “You the only one not at the movie?”

Josh gave him a blank look. “I think so. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.” Morgan was bombarded with images of Eric sitting in the dark next to Meg, or slipping out with her much as Josh had done so they could be alone.

More silence. Josh broke it with, “You don’t like hanging around with us counselors much, do you?”

“I like some of you more than others.”

“Who don’t you like?”

“Eric sort of gets under my skin.”

“Eric’s all right. He’s kind of a party guy, but he means no harm. Just has some growing up to do.”

Morgan grunted.

“What about the rest of us?”

“I’ve always liked horses better than people. They don’t talk much.”

Josh burst out laughing. “They don’t talk at all.”

Morgan grinned in spite of himself, dropped the
polishing rag, and dragged a chair over to face Josh. “Look, I know it seems to all of you that I don’t mix. But keeping to myself is just a habit. Back home, I spend lots of time alone out on the trail. It’s easy to forget how to talk and socialize. Nothing personal.”

In truth, Morgan liked Josh. The guy had a good head on his shoulders and seemed mature in ways the others didn’t.

“No offense taken,” Josh said.

“You’re sweet on Katie, aren’t you?” Now that the ice was broken, Morgan felt like talking.

“You could say that. I love her.”

“That’s hard to tell from a distance.”

“Well, things between us are a little one-sided right now.” Josh leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’d change it in a heartbeat if I could.”

“What did you do to back her off?”

“Nothing. She’s just confused about her life these days … doesn’t know exactly what she wants. Her friend Lacey tells me to just be patient. That Katie’ll come to her senses soon. That I’ve got to give her plenty of space until it dawns on her that she loves me too.”

“You believe Lacey?”

“I’m willing to wait, I know that much. I think
love is worth the wait. I know Katie’s worth the wait.”

Morgan was intrigued. He’d never heard a guy talk so openly about his feelings. He had sometimes tried to
show
a girl how he felt, but saying a bunch of sappy words wasn’t his way. Maybe that was why he was reading the poetry book. So that he could feel more at ease with pretty words of love.

“You have a brother, Morgan? A big family?”

Morgan shook his head, feeling the old squeeze on his heart when he remembered what fate might await him within his family.

“I had a brother once,” Josh said. “He practically raised me because our parents were drowning inside booze bottles. I never told Aaron I loved him. The last day I saw him alive, he came into our grandfather’s kitchen and told me to clean up my room. I had my face buried in a cereal bowl and didn’t even take the time to look up at him. I just resented him telling me what to do.

“That very day, he walked out onto a football field for practice and had an aneurysm go off in his brain and died. Just like that. I would give anything in this world if I could look up and see him come through the door one more time.”

Morgan swallowed. Josh’s story touched him, but he didn’t know how to respond.

Josh offered a wry smile. “I guess that’s why I try my best these days to tell people just what I think. You never know when they walk out of a room if it’s going to be the last time you ever see them. That’s why I work this camp. Because I know some of these kids won’t be around next year. And I want to be sure they have the time of their life while they’re here.

“And as long as I’m being brutally honest, I came so I could be around Katie. Because I love her. Whether she loves me or not, I still love her.”

Morgan cleared his throat self-consciously. “I hope Katie comes to her senses real soon. A guy can’t wait forever.”

Josh shrugged. “It sure seems like I’ve already waited forever. We’ve been apart for about a year now.”

“And you don’t date anybody else?”

“Oh, I see a girl named Natalie once in a while. But she knows how I feel about Katie. There’s nothing between her and me except friendship.” Josh stood and stretched. “I guess I’ve kept you from your work long enough. And I’m sure that flick’s about over by now.”

Morgan stood too. “I’m glad you stopped by, Josh,” he said, and meant it.

“And I’m glad you didn’t mind me talking your ear off. Sorry if I kept you from your chores.”

“I can clean saddles anytime,” Morgan admitted. “Thanks for talking.”

“Thanks for listening.” Josh waved and stepped out into the night.

Morgan walked down the row of stalls, and the horses stuck their heads out over the half doors. He stopped in front of the roan mare and scratched behind her ears. “How you doing, old girl?”

The horse nuzzled his pocket, sniffing for a treat. He sometimes carried chunks of carrots. “Nothing tonight,” he said.

He couldn’t get Josh’s words out of his head. Morgan realized that what he’d felt for Anne had been love too. And he couldn’t remember telling her. She had died without hearing those words come out of his mouth, and he should have said them.

Megan’s face floated into his mind. She was like Anne: sweet, bookish, a little naive. Maybe that was what attracted him to her. She was different. Of course, she would never know how he felt if he never so much as spoke to her. And a snake like Eric could walk away with a treasure he would never really appreciate.

“Might not ought to let that happen,” Morgan said absently to the mare.

She didn’t answer.

“Did you see Josh slip out of the movie?” Lacey and Katie were walking back to their cabins. Their girls followed them, swinging flashlights so that beams of light bounced off the ground and trees, and talking excitedly among themselves.

“Never noticed,” Katie lied.

“He probably went to his cabin to write Natalie a nice long love letter,” Lacey said lazily.

“I wish I’d never told you about that letter.” Katie was cross. How mean of Lacey to throw the letter up to her. Katie had been unable to keep her mind on the movie because she’d kept waiting for Josh to sneak back inside. But the final credits were rolling across the screen before he did, and she’d been left to wonder where he’d spent the evening. After the lights had come up, everyone had eaten cookies and milk, then headed to the cabins to sleep.

“Maybe I’ll write Jeff a nice long sexy letter before I turn out the lights tonight,” Lacey mused.

“Lacey,” Katie warned. “Cut it out.”

Lacey hooked her arm through Katie’s. “Oh, don’t go getting all angry. I’m just trying to show you the error of your ways.”

“You’re impossible.”

“No,
you’re
impossible. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get the two of you back together again.”

“It’s not so simple, Lacey. I have a life. A track scholarship. I have three years of college left.”

“What? Credits can’t transfer? You can’t run for the University of Michigan? Give me a break, girl.”

Katie sighed. She would be wasting her breath trying to explain to Lacey how she felt. Her gratitude toward Josh was no substitute for love. If she settled for the former instead of the latter, she’d be doing them both great harm.

“Let’s just drop it,” she said. She slid her arm out of Lacey’s and hurried on to her cabin alone.