Real Vampires Know Hips Happen (40 page)

“Don’t want either one. Sick of both.” Ian blew a perfect smoke ring up toward the ceiling. “No, I need a housekeeper. Someone to clean my toilets and scrub my floors. You’ll do nicely.” He looked her over. “I even have a uniform
you can wear. Though I guess I’ll have to send out for a bigger size now. What have you been doing lately, eating your way down Sixth Street?”

“Pig. I don’t do housework.” Aggie backed away from him.

“You do now.” Ian nodded at Richard. “Tell her, Counselor. I just had a nice talk with Damian. He agreed that if Aggie doesn’t pay off her debt to me that he’ll slap her in lockup. Did you know they have one now?” He grinned. “Yep, a jail. It’s really for vampires so you might have a little trouble being fed.” He chuckled. “Which is one way to lose those extra pounds you’ve packed on. Hope you like tight spaces. It’s a coffin in Damian’s basement.”

Aggie turned pale and looked like she was about to faint. “A coffin? Richard?”

“Housekeeping can’t be that bad. I want something in writing, Ian.” Richard was still in full counselor mode. “How many days does she have to do it before the debt’s paid?”

“Well, let’s figure the going rate for housekeeping is fifty bucks a day and
you
run the numbers. That’s how long it’ll take her.” Chuckling, Ian headed for the door. “You’re mine, bitch, for a long, long time.”

“Two thousand days.” Richard had pulled out his phone and used the calculator. “That’s how long it will take you, Aggie.”

“I’ll be dead by then.”

I heard a thump and looked down. Aggie had hit the floor and I didn’t blame her. Payback really was a bitch.

Flo pulled on my sleeve. “Where are the kangaroos? I didn’t see them.”

Richard and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Between Flo and Aggie, we had our hands full. He took Flo, carefully explaining what a kangaroo court was. I knelt down next to Aggie and gently patted her cheeks.

Damian and the other council members stopped to watch.

“A little help here?” I glanced up at the men.

Damian handed me a bottle of water. “Flo told me you used to be a Siren. You haven’t pulled any of the dirty tricks Aggie used, have you, Glory?”

I sighed and pressed the cold water bottle to Aggie’s forehead. I could see she was waking up. I needed to get her out of here and without a scene.

“No. But I have some pretty awesome powers now.” I smiled. “I suggest you guys clear out so you don’t have to hear Aggie bitch when she comes around. You’re not exactly her favorite people now.”

“You get tired of Blade, call me.” Damian moved closer. “I have always liked you, you know.” He looked down when Aggie moaned. “We’re out of here. She got what she deserved, I think. Be careful around her, Glory.” He and his two council buddies strode off toward the library, trailing cigar smoke behind them.

“I can’t believe this. So unfair. Judge Judy would never have run her courtroom that way.” Aggie struggled to sit up. “Guess you’re stuck with me, Glory. Toilets!” She checked her nails, painted in a bright red for court. “My hands will be ruined.”

“Rubber gloves, Aggie.” I pulled her up beside me.

“You’ll have to teach me to drive. And loan me your car…” She kept chattering as we walked toward the parking lot.

All I heard were the sounds of my life falling to pieces. Stuck with Aggie. I had to get her some of that Siren treasure. Maybe I did need to take a trip to Olympus. I was surprised my mother didn’t appear on the spot. It was almost as if she’d planted Aggie in my life as a way to get what she wanted. Oh. Surely not. Now I was just being paranoid. Or was I?

Eighteen

My
cell rang just as I drove into my parking lot. It was Jerry.

“Hey, where are you?”

“I just got back from Miami. Where are you?”

“I’m about to head into the shop. Can you meet me?” I slammed the car door. Aggie had already headed inside. She’d complained that she was starving. I think there was a pint of ice cream with her name on it upstairs. I didn’t need a diet book or a psychology degree to know she was stuffing her stress.

“What about your apartment? We’d have more privacy.”

“No, we wouldn’t. Aggie will be there. Why do we need privacy?” Not that I didn’t like to be alone with him, but something in his voice made my stomach clench. What was this about?

“We need to talk. I’ve been thinking about the way we left things before I took off for Miami. You were right. Everything I do is your concern. I’m ready to come clean. Can you come over here, to my house? Lily’s not here.” He sounded really serious. What kind of secret had he been keeping? Murder? Another woman? My mind raced.

“Let me run inside and check for disasters. If everything is okay, I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Lily is here, by the way. I hope you don’t mind that I put her to work.” Aggie had left the back door into the apartments wide open; I shut and locked it then dealt with the one into the shop’s back room. I would have to get onto her about security.

“No, she needed to face reality. I don’t mind setting her up in an apartment, but a job is good for her. Lets her see how ordinary people earn a living.”

“Yes, that was the idea.” I just hoped Lily was through stealing from those ordinary people. “Look, I’ll hurry. See you soon.” I hung up and headed into the store.

Lily was there, helping a customer. She wasn’t like Flo about vintage clothes; she actually liked them as long as they were high quality. I still had to work on her snob factor since some of my vintage clothing, especially the sixties and seventies stuff, originally came from discount stores. But she’d gotten into dressing for the job and apparently still had some of her favorites from the last century. Tonight she wore a great sixties Goth outfit in black leather and lace that I’d meant to compliment her on earlier. Her thigh-high boots had spike heels and she’d worn her dark hair in a mass of tangled curls. She was a walking advertisement for the stuff we sold.

“How’s it going, Lily?” I stopped next to her at the cash register.

“Fine. You know you should really put all of this on a computer system. It would make keeping track of inventory easier.” She handed a customer her change. “Hey, Laurie, come by and show me how that works out on Halloween. I’d love to see you.”

“You bet, Lily. Maybe the boss lady here will let you off early and you can come with. The party will be awesome. I can get you in.” The girl glanced at me. She was a regular but I’d never caught her name before.

“Sure, we’ll work something out, though Halloween is a big night for us.” I glanced at the sales total. It was a sizeable
cash sale. Nice. “Thanks for coming in.” The girl left and I turned to Lily.

“Don’t say it. I know she’s mortal.” Lily held up a hand. “But I can be around them and not go all bloodthirsty.” She kept her voice low so none of the other customers could hear. “I am trying to be friendly. I don’t have any buds here.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything about that. I’m glad you’re making friends. And she’s nice. I know she’s a student at UT. As long as you don’t put her on the menu, I think it’s a good idea to make friends.” I glanced around and saw everything was under control, the other night clerk helping another customer. “Your dad is back in town and I’m headed over to his house. Aggie’s upstairs. Her hearing didn’t go well. When you get off, you might want to go up and give her your sympathy.”

“Oh, wow. Sure.” Lily sighed. “No surprise. I didn’t want to say it, but the deck was stacked against Aggie all the way.”

“Right. Look around the apartment while you’re there. I heard there’s a vacancy on the third floor in this building. Could you stand to live so close to me?” My place was on the second.

“On Sixth Street?” She actually hugged me. “I’d freaking love it. Thanks, Glory. That’s exactly what I need—a place of my own near all the action. I can use my own laptop to get your inventory online here, then transfer the files to yours. You get the apartment for me and I’ll do that for you. On my own time.” She glanced around. “You know retail isn’t a bad career option. I’ve enjoyed this. I have lots of ideas for improving this place.”

“Slow down, Donald Trump. I’m pretty happy with the way things are, though the inventory thing sounds great.” I couldn’t believe this smiling vamp was the angry girl who had acted out just days ago. You’d think after hundreds of years she’d have figured out a purpose for her life. It was too bad she’d been allowed to drift so long. “Thanks, Lily. I’d
love to hear your ideas. Soon.” I hugged her back. “And I love the outfit. You make the shop look good.”

She glanced down. “Hey, I was just trying to fit in. I could have sold it six times already. But thanks. Now go, don’t keep Dad waiting.” She winked. “Work your magic and get me that place.”

I shook my head. No magic here. I waved and set off. I lost my smile fast. What did Jerry have to tell me? A move and name change. Well, I’d done the same thing many times. I had to stop guessing and see him there, so I could find out the truth.

When I drove up to his house, I saw that he’d turned the porch light on for me. Before I could get out of the car, my mother materialized in the passenger seat.

“Whoa. You startled me. Thanks for not doing that while I was driving.”

“Of course I waited. Wouldn’t want you to have a wreck, darling.” She glanced at my outfit. “I see you are wearing the dress I gave you. That pleases me. I still want us to go shopping together, my treat. It’s a fantasy of mine to have a mother-daughter night in a mall.”

“Mother, Jerry is waiting for me. Did you have something important to say?” I leaned back against the door. She was still in her toga. “Did you come straight from your duties with Zeus?”

“Yes. It was exhausting. Especially since I was keeping tabs on you while having to dole out pardons and listen to the endless bickering that goes on up there.” She put a hand to her forehead. “It’s enough to give me a migraine. Did you ever get one of those?”

“You’re the only headache I have at the moment. Speed this up, please. I have a dawn time limit, you know.” I sighed. “Sorry, but Jerry says he’s going to clue me in about his big secret. I’m a little worried.”

“Of course you are, darling.” She reached out and stroked my cheek. “If he disappoints you, Mars told me he would be
happy to punish him for you.” She smiled. “Now as to why I’m here…I heard what happened with that fallen Siren. And you have her in your apartment, making messes, spending your money. Such a nuisance!”

“You got that right. Can you help me out? She owes Ian a ton of money.” I leaned forward. “Do you carry cash with you?”

“Don’t be silly. I’d never bail out that bitch.” She brushed off her toga like the very idea had soiled her. “But I have a way that you can do it yourself.” Her smile was crafty.

I didn’t like this. She was definitely up to something. “Okay, what do you have in mind?”

“Well, the Siren treasure is there in Olympus for the claiming. I can talk my way into a bit of reparation for you. Aggie”—she shuddered—“such an ugly nickname, probably not. Even though you both left the program, you left involuntarily. Achelous definitely owes a debt for that. I can make sure you are paid your fair share.”

“Seriously? I don’t want part of anything Siren, but Aggie really needs a small fortune. To pay Ian and to support herself so she can move away from me and my place. What will it take to get her a piece of this treasure?”

“You can choose to give her your portion, of course. If you truly don’t want it for yourself.” There was that secret smile again. “If you are that desperate to be rid of her, it will require just a small sacrifice on your part, Gloriana. You must come to Olympus personally with me and ask for it.” She sighed and touched my hand. “I know how reluctant you’ve been to do that very thing. You’ve made your views perfectly clear.”

“And you can’t get this treasure
for
me?” Wasn’t this falling in with her wishes just a little too neatly?

“Oh, no. Only a former Siren can claim the gold. And, if you’ve been paying attention to the news, you know that gold is very, very valuable right now. Your portion, if you give it to Aggie, would set her up for life, whether she
remains mortal or ends up a”—exaggerated shudder—“vampire.”

“Mother, did you do this? Orchestrate this Aggie fiasco?” I squeezed her hand.

“Darling, you’re hurting me!” She jerked her hand away. “My, vampires are strong, aren’t they?” And that wasn’t an answer, was it?

“Maybe I can live with her after all.” I tried not to picture Aggie as I’d last seen her when I’d run upstairs to check. She’d fallen asleep on my couch, the overturned carton of ice cream making a puddle on my new coffee table. Her spoon was stuck on the front of her robe, her snoring so loud it drowned out Judge Judy awarding money to a sobbing woman who’d been tossed out naked after a fight with her boyfriend. My cat, Boogie, had braved the noise to lick up the mess. Every light in the apartment had been left on and the refrigerator door was ajar.

“Fine. I’m sure after a few years you’ll be just like real sisters.” She pulled down the visor to check her hair, acting like she hadn’t just described my worst nightmare. “I just wanted you to meet your grandfather at least once.”