Reasonable Doubt (7 page)

I quickly decided that he was bipolar, and that our seemingly connected kiss was just a mistake. I turned around and left his office, rushing straight to the break room.

There was no way I was going to get that Brownstein report done by the end of the day.

I pulled out my phone and scrolled through my messages—realizing that Thoreau hadn’t responded to my morning texts. Sighing, I decided to call him. I needed someone to tell me that my life wouldn’t end today when I was fired.

It rang once.

It rang twice.

It went to voicemail.

He hit ignore?!

I sent him a text.
“What the hell is wrong with you lately? Is your lack of sex forcing you to act like a jerk toward me? Is the withdrawal THAT BAD? Talk to me.”

I waited for a response, but none came, so I slumped onto the couch. There was no point in even attempting to finish that report. I was just going to sit here, relax, and when it was five o’ clock I was going to collect all of my things and leave.

I could find another internship in two weeks, or worst case, ask the department chair if I could shadow my mother and father around their stuffy firm for credit.

Ugh...God...

I shut my eyes and lay back against the cushion, wishing I could fall asleep. 

“Aubrey?” Someone shook my shoulder just as I was drifting away.

“Yes?” I opened my eyes. It was Jessica.

“I’ve been looking for you forever. Mr. Hamilton wants to speak with you.”

I raised my eyebrow. “More coffee?”

“Probably.” She shrugged. “He’s been a bit off lately. Just come on, you don’t want to make him angry.” She held the door open and I stood up, making my way past her.

I debated whether I should even go to his office. Then again, seeing the look on his face as I said, “Fuck you. I quit.” was too good of an experience to pass up. I forced a smile and knocked on his door.

“Come in.” His voice was stern.

I slipped inside, expecting to see him holding an empty coffee cup, but he was sitting at his desk–glaring at me.

“Have a seat,” he said.

I sat in front of his desk, waiting for him to scold me about something, to unleash more of his seemingly bipolar tendencies, but he didn’t. He just kept staring at me.

I hated the effect he was having on my body right now, and as much as I wanted to ask him what the hell he wanted, I couldn’t get my mouth to say a thing.

Without addressing me, he suddenly stood up and walked around his desk, sitting on the edge of it, letting his knees touch mine. 

“Lawyers are supposed to be people with integrity, are they not?” he whispered.

“Yes.”

“Do you think
you
have integrity,
Miss Everhart
?” He emphasized every syllable of my name.

“Yes.”

“Hmmm.” He leaned forward. “So, would you ever willingly withhold the truth from someone you supposedly cared about?”

“It depends...” My breath hitched in my throat; my heart was racing a mile a minute.

“It
depends
?” He sat back a bit. “It depends on what?”

“If the truth would damage anything or hurt someone unnecessarily, then I believe I have a right to withhold it.”

“But what if someone blatantly asked you for the truth, several times? What if he said, I want you to tell me the truth no matter how much it hurts, or how angry it may make me?”

Where is he going with this?
“Are you referring to a potential witness changing his testimony on the stand, Mr. Hamilton?”

“No...” He trailed his fingers across my collarbone, setting my nerves on fire. “This is a
personal
inquiry. I’m just in need of an outside opinion. Answer the question.”

“Well, I think—” I sucked in a breath as he placed his hand on my thigh and strummed his fingers against my skirt. “I think certain lies have to be told, and certain truths have to be withheld. The ultimate conviction is up to those who can discern which is which.”

“So, you believe in reasonable doubt?”

“In certain cases, yes...”

“What about in
our
case?” His hand was slowly slipping underneath my skirt, traveling further and further up my thigh. 

“
Our
case?”

“Yes,” he said. “I believe you and I are currently in an unfortunate web of deceit.”

“No...” I said, breathless and confused. “We’re not in a web of deceit...”

“We definitely are,
Alyssa
—" He pulled me forward by the strand of pearls around my neck. "It’s the case of a woman who befriended me online, but she turned out to be someone completely different than who she told me she was. So, in this case—
our case
, how do you feel about reasonable doubt?”

Gasping, I could feel all the color draining from my face. My heart wasn’t racing anymore; it was flailing around wildly—ready to jump out of my chest, and my eyes were as wide as they could go.

“You were very good at covering your tracks for such a long time, so I’ll give you that,” he said. “But I thought we thoroughly discussed how I felt about liars. Did we not?”

I murmured as he tightened his grip on my pearls, as he pulled me so close that we were lip to lip. 

"Do you plan on answering me,
Aubrey
? Are you tired of this fucking charade?"

“I never thought that...” I was stuttering, trying to look away from him, but his grip prevented me from moving. "I am so sorry..."

He didn't say anything further. He stared into my eyes, searching for something that wasn't there. Then he lowered his voice, and leaned back. "Once someone lies to me they're dead to me forever. Do you remember me saying that?" 

"Yes..."

"So, you’ve always been willing to lose our friendship over lies?"

"I never wanted to meet you in person...”

“I can see that.” He hissed.

“If I had known who you really were...” I was breaking down in front of him. This was too much for one day. “I would’ve never—”

“Save it.” He cut me off. “I’ve heard enough about your thoughts on
lying
. Seeing as though we don’t share the same views, you’re not worthy of being my intern. You’ll be serving as my secretary’s assistant until further notice.”

“You’re
demoting
me?”

“It’s not a demotion. It’s a way to keep you out of my sight.”

My heart dropped.

“Our online relationship—whatever the hell that was anyway,” he said, “is over. I don’t want to hear from you outside of these walls again.”

“
Thoreau
...”

“It’s Mr. Hamilton,
Miss Everhart
.” He glared at me. “Mr. fucking Hamilton.”

“You have to believe that I’m sorry...I never thought that this would happen.”

“Take however much time you need on the Brownstein account.” He disregarded my apology and released his hold on my necklace. “You have until the end of next week. And from now on, you can just set my coffee on my bookcase. I don’t need you coming anywhere near my desk.”

“Andrew—”

“We are definitely
not
on a first name basis. Do not ever call me that.”

“Just let me explain...”

“There’s nothing
to
explain. You lied to me and you no longer exist. Get out. Now.”

I felt tears welling in my eyes. “I was serious about you being my only friend...Friends are supposed to give each other a chance to make things right. Just let me tell you why I had to lie to you...”

“I don’t deal with liars.
Ever
. And seeing that that’s exactly what you are, I don’t care why you felt the need to deceive me. Get out of my office, stay out of my sight as much as possible, and do your damn job.”

I stood up and looked into his eyes, pleading for him to simply hear me out, to let me explain, but he turned away from me. Then he picked up his phone.

“Jessica?” he said. “Could you help Miss Everhart find her way out of my office? And could you please have the janitor check my floors for fucking superglue?”

***

I
stood underneath the scalding hot streams of my shower, crying. Right after I’d left Andrew’s office, I’d told HR that I wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave for the rest of the day.

I’d driven straight for the dance hall—locking myself into a private room and dancing until I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. I knew I must’ve looked crazy to my classmates, sobbing in between every twirl, but I didn’t care; I needed to clear my mind of all thoughts of Andrew, Thoreau, and Alyssa.

As the water continued to lash against my skin, I shut my eyes and murmured, “How long has he known?” I thought about the past couple weeks, how “Thoreau” had been less talkative than normal, how he’d ignored me, and then it hit me. 

My interview...

I still remembered it because seeing Andrew in person made me realize that no picture could ever accurately capture how sexy he really looked, and I’d blushed the second his eyes met mine. He didn’t seem to act any differently throughout the questioning, but then I remembered that random phone call...

I wasn’t sure why I was just remembering it now, but while Mr. Bach and Mr. Greenwood had simply laughed that intrusive phone call away, Andrew had stared at me. As if he was in complete and utter shock. And at the end of the interview, when I’d reached for his hand, his gaze wasn’t intrigued anymore, it was heated.

Wiping away my tears, I turned off the water and stepped out. I wrapped myself in a towel and did what I always did when I felt sad: ordered a sandwich and made myself a couple of stiff martinis.

Just as I was downing the first one, there was a knock on my door. I noticed the pink Barbie keys on the counter—courtesy of my forgetful and “never here” roommate and knew it was her.

She always leaves something...

“Would it kill you to double check for these before you—” I stopped when I opened the door.

It was Andrew, and the look on his face was one of pure anger. He wasn’t dressed in a suit anymore, just a simple, thin white T-shirt that slightly clung to his chiseled abs and a pair of faded blue jeans.

I tried to slam the door in his face, but he held it open and forced himself inside my apartment. I started to step backwards and he matched me step for step, backing me against my living room wall.

“We need to talk.” His voice was flat, emotionless.

“No, we don’t. You said plenty earlier.” I looked down at the floor. “Don’t worry, I’ll be resigning in the morning. Please leave.”

He tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes. “You’re not quitting.”

“
Watch me
.” I swallowed. “I want you to leave...”

“I would believe that, but you say things you don’t mean all the time.”

The tension between us was damn near palpable, and I could feel my blood heating every second he stood there staring at me. I tried to move away, but he gripped my hips.

“You told me you were a lawyer, Aubrey...” he said, his voice dripping with malice. “You told me you were twenty seven years old.”

“I never
said
I was twenty seven. You assumed.”

“It was on your fucking profile!” He pushed my back against the wall. “You never thought to correct me whenever I said I was only five years older than you...I’m
ten years
older than you.”

“I didn’t think I would ever meet you in person,” I barely managed to say as he pressed his chest against mine.

“That excuses your
lies
?”

“I said I was sorry, and it was clearly a huge mistake to ever befriend you. You didn’t even give me a chance to completely explain.”

“Do you not understand how
fucked up
this situation is?”

“No...” I murmured as our lips touched.

“I’ve been looking forward to fucking the woman who teased me every night for nearly six months,” he whispered, sliding his fingers underneath my towel. “I wanted her to ride me.” He trailed his hand up my thigh and rubbed his thumb against my clit. “On my cock and my mouth. And I wanted to teach her how to taste me...Don’t you think this woman fucked all of that up?”

I shook my head in response; I couldn’t handle the way he was looking at me.

“You said you weren’t my type when I asked what you looked like.” He pulled away from my mouth, but he kept his thumb against my clit. “But you clearly
are
. Why did you lie about something as simple as that?””

“You didn’t tell me what you looked like, so—”

“Stop
deflecting
.” He hissed, and took a step back. “Tell me the reasoning. I’ve already figured out your reasoning for the other bullshit lies. By the way, no self-respecting lawyer would
ever
let another lawyer do their work for them.”

“Only a self-absorbed asshole who wants to seem deeper than he really is would call himself
Thoreau
.”

“Good to finally see the version of you that I remember.” He took another step back and crossed his arms. “Answer my question.”

“
Fuck you
.” I scoffed. “I told you I was sorry, begged you to listen to me, and now when
you
feel like talking, you think you can barge into my apartment and
make me
?”

“I haven’t
made you
do anything.” He smirked. “
Yet
.”

Silence.

He leaned against the wall, waiting for me to speak, but I couldn’t get a word out.

Look away from him...Look away from him...

As if he knew the power his gaze was having on me, he grinned and picked up one of my makeshift martinis.

Lifting one of the cherries from the liquor, he placed it against his lips. “Do you plan on standing there all night and looking at me, or are you going to answer my question?”

“No,” I said, finally looking away from him. “After the way you treated me in your office today, I don’t owe you a goddamn thing. You can stand there all night for all I care.” I walked towards my room. “There’s even a sandwich delivery coming if you decide to—”

My breath caught in my throat as he grabbed me from behind and pulled me against his chest. He quickly spun me around so we were face to face, and then he ripped my towel from around my body, letting it fall to the floor.