Rebel (28 page)

Ian hesitated. “We have to bury him this afternoon.”

“We can’t bury him so quickly; we need a minister.”

“We have to bury him, Alaina. As soon as we can bring a minister, we’ll have a service for him.”

“Oh,” she murmured, fighting the urge to cry again. Her father was going to rot if they didn’t move quickly. He would bloat, smell horribly, attract bugs. The thought of flies buzzing around his body made her shudder.

“Will you be all right for a few minutes?” he asked. “I’ll get Lilly or Jen in here.”

“I—I don’t need anyone,” she told him.

“Alaina, it’s—”

“I’m really fine. I’d like some time alone,” she said.

He stared at her, blue eyes so sharp and yet so unfathomable, then he turned and left her.

Alaina sat in her bed. She had to get up, had to move, had to function.

“Miz McKenzie!”

Before she had quite managed to move, Lilly came in. Lilly, bustling about in her no-nonsense manner. “Now, missus, you stay where you are for a minute!” Behind Lilly came Delby and Jean, two of the freemen of mixed blood who had worked with her father in the groves. They were dragging in the hip tub, which had been half
filled already, apparently in the kitchen. The men were huffing and puffing in a manner that would have caused Alaina to laugh at a different time.

“You wash the seawater away, you wash away a little bit of the pain. Soak in the water and forget yesterday, and the clean will bring you fresh memories, those of special times, love and laughter. Come, you must feel better.”

The men nodded to her sorrowfully, sun hats in their hands, then they left the room. Alaina hesitated just a minute, but she had done nothing but cry since she had come upon her father’s body; she was still encrusted in salt and seawater. The bath, only half full but with steam issuing from it, beckoned.

“A bath would be nice,” she said. “Thank you, Lilly. You are very thoughtful.”

Lilly smiled complacently. “Come. I’ll wash your hair. Let the water heal you. You are a child of the water. Your father’s child. He is not really gone, for he is within you. And the little one. Come, now. Yesterday was for pain. Today, already, you must begin the healing.”

She was never going to heal, Alaina thought. But for now, hot water would feel good. She shed her nightgown, stepped into the tub, and let Lilly work her magical fingers through her hair.

The bath worked wonders. When she stepped out, dressed, and dried her hair, she regained her composure. She told herself that she wasn’t going to cry again.

And she did not.

Not even when she came to the parlor and discovered that Teddy had been dressed in his finest white shirt and frock coat and laid into a hastily built coffin lined with folded cotton sheets. She sat by him, holding his cold, stiff hand. She smoothed his soft white hair, touched his beloved cheek. And she silently promised him that she would love him all her life and never, ever forget him. “Nor the islet, Papa. I promise, I’ll never let Belamar go; I’ll save it for your grandchild, for all the time to come.”

She stayed with him throughout the long day.

They buried Teddy early that evening, right after the sun set, in the midst of the trees he loved so very much.

Jerome had sailed earlier in the day to bring his parents down to bury Teddy, and luck was with him. An
old friend of his mother’s, Colonel Harrington, was visiting along with an Episcopal priest who had recently taken up duty with the army in the Keys.

Teddy was buried with touching reverence. The young priest spoke from the Bible, then invited the others to talk. James McKenzie came forward first and spoke about Teddy, the man, his friend, who’d had the courage to come to a wilderness and make a home there, a friend to men and women of every color and creed. Ian stepped forward next, saying that Teddy’s enthusiasm and knowledge were a light against the darkness. Jerome, Julian, Jennifer, Teela, and Lawrence Malloy came forward as well, all adding something special about Teddy. Alaina was grateful to them all. The priest had spoken from the Bible; the McKenzies and Malloys had all spoken from their hearts.

Teddy was lowered into the earth. Alaina tried to take comfort in the fact that he had lain in the parlor he had dreamed of and designed himself, in a coffin built for him by men who had honored and admired him. Now his final resting place was in the grove he had loved so dearly, and he was lowered there with the greatest tenderness.

When the coffin lay in the ground, Ian led her forward. She held a wild orchid, and let it drop down on the coffin.

Then Ian led her away.

But she heard the sound as his brother and cousin shoveled earth back into place, and the sound of dirt falling upon the pine box had a finality about it that was terrible.

Death had claimed Teddy.

Ashes to ashes; dust to dust.

A
laina had sworn to herself that she would cry no more, and she did not. Sometimes it was easy. Her eyes were dry; it seemed there were no more tears.

And the night passed swiftly. She was numb, and not functioning, but it didn’t matter. Ian remained at her side. Jennifer and Teela McKenzie took charge with Bella and Lilly in the kitchen, and supper was laid out. Again, the McKenzies were wonderful. They were strong in their support; united, it seemed, in all things. They talked about everything, politics, the weather—and Teddy. When the meal was finished, James took the
Windrunner
and sailed Colonel Harrington and the young priest back to their own launch where it was berthed at the McKenzies’ dock. The remaining men adjourned outside with tobacco and brandy while Jennifer and Teela stayed with Alaina.

She sat in a chair, staring at the McMann coat of arms, which hung over the mantel.

Teela McKenzie came to her, taking her hand and perching upon the arm of the chair. She silently squeezed her hand.

“I’ll never forget him,” Alaina whispered.

“You must never forget him,” Teela told her.

“I’ll miss him so much.”

“You will always miss him,” Teela said quietly. “But you’ll come to cherish all the memories, and all the time that you did have. I lost my father when I very young, and on top of that, I was cursed with a heinously cruel tyrant for a stepfather.” She smiled at Alaina. “At least you will be spared that!”

“How did you bear it?”

“Not well,” Teela murmured. “But because of my stepfather, I came to Florida, and met James. There is
a certain justice in the world,” she said, a sparkle in her eyes. “My stepfather came to murder the Indians. I married a half-breed. Alaina, this is so very hard. Teddy’s death was a tragic waste, and there is no way out of that. You have to remember the good. He was a happy man. He lived as he chose to live. He adored you. All things do come full circle. Your father will live with you, and beyond you. Naturally, my children have a great deal of their father in them, but sometimes I’ll see Jerome or Brent sitting in a certain light, move in a certain way, and I see my father again in them.”

Jennifer came over with Anthony clinging to her waist. “It is an awful agony, Alaina, and time doesn’t take away the loss, but it does soften the pain. I was barely five when my mother and sister died.” A teasing grin played upon her face. “And then, you see, there was this stepmother in my life—”

“Oh, dear! Are you about to call me a tyrant?” Teela demanded.

Jennifer offered Teela a quick hug. “She was absolutely wicked!” Jennifer said with a wink. “She made all our lives whole again.”

“Thank you.” Teela’s eyes, a dazzling green, were on Jennifer.

Jennifer playfully wrinkled her nose. “Then she gave me a few little hellions as half-siblings as well!”

At last, Alaina had to smile. Anthony was reaching out to her. She stretched her arms out in return. The little boy crawled to her, hugging her. His face against her neck, he curled his fingers into her hair and held fast. She cradled him tightly. She loved holding Anthony, feeling his baby softness and sweetness. He was so trusting, so quick to smile. He made her wonder what it was going to be like to hold her own child, which stirred her somewhat from her desolation. It was incredible at first to realize that another life could be created. It was scary, hoping and praying that everything would be all right. And it was exciting to wonder if the child within her was a boy or a girl, and if it would be born with hazel-gold eyes like her own, or a dark cobalt blue like Ian’s and so many other McKenzies.

But even allowing herself to wonder about the babe
now brought regret; Teddy would never hold his grandchild.

Teela rose from her seat on the edge of Alaina’s chair, patting her knee. “You must always remember your father with love, but you need time away from all that has happened as well. You mustn’t worry about anything here. We’ll take care of Belamar for you.”

Alaina shook her head. “I—I’m sure I can manage.” Teela glanced quickly at Jennifer, who grimaced uncomfortably.

“Oh,” Teela murmured softly.

“No, no, please, talk to me. What’s going on? Jen, Teela, please. Why will I need someone to care for the place for me?” Alaina insisted.

“You need to speak with Ian,” Jen said.

“Well, I will speak with him, I assure you. But you can’t begin something like that and then not follow through. It is my property and my life we’re discussing.”

“Except that we shouldn’t have been discussing it. I’m so sorry, I’d simply assumed…” Teela began. “I’ve spoken out of line. It’s Ian’s place to tell you his decisions.”

“His decisions? Tell me what his decisions are,” Alaina demanded. “Please, Teela, Jennifer, this isn’t fair in the least. Someone must tell me.”

Teela still looked unhappy. “Well, naturally, after what has happened, Ian plans to take you back to Washington,” she said.

Alaina stared at her blankly. “Washington?” she murmured.

Ian had decided she was going to Washington.

She couldn’t go. It was that simple. She couldn’t go, not when Teddy had just died, not when some small piece of him might still linger here in the air, the sun, the groves.

“I have to admit, Alaina, I’m not so sure myself that it would be good for you to stay on here alone,” Jennifer advised her hastily.

“I’m not alone. You and Lawrence are here. James and Teela are just up the coast. Sydney will come home eventually, Brent will probably return here—”

Teela gently interrupted to remind her, “Ian only
agreed that you should come here to be with your father. Naturally, a man wants his wife with him.”

Did he? Alaina wondered. She could still vividly recall the night before he had left her.

Yet he had gone away, without looking back. And he had stayed away a very long time. He had written; she had not. She’d been furious to realize that he’d made arrangements to leave her behind long before they’d discussed the matter—and perhaps just a little wounded to realize that despite his words and passion, he had easily taken leave of her and gone on with his own life. She wondered if she had kept the news about the baby from him hoping to hurt his pride in some small measure in return. But she hadn’t really said anything to anyone, except for Jennifer. It had taken her so long to realize herself….

“Personally, I think you’ll like Washington,” Jennifer advised. “A change of scenery will be good. Washington can be a fascinating place. People from everywhere, all the politics—and parties.”

“Alaina, you must see, under these circumstances, he can’t just leave you alone,” Teela said.

“But…” Alaina began. Her voice trailed away. She didn’t know what she felt. Things that had mattered so much had ceased to mean anything. It didn’t matter where she was. When she wasn’t feeling the dreadful hurt, she was numb.

She didn’t want to think about it. She wanted to sleep and escape the pain for whatever hours she might.

And when she had her chance, she would accost Ian with what she had been told.

“I think I’m going to go to bed and get some sleep,” she said, rising carefully with Anthony. “He’s sleeping, Jen. I’ll put him in the guest room—you and Lawrence will be comfortable enough there, won’t you?”

Jennifer took the baby from Alaina, saying, “Lawrence and I can just go home—”

“No, no, please don’t. Not yet. The house is empty and it—it feels good to have the house so filled with people. Teela, you and James don’t mind my father’s room, do you? It’s probably the most comfortable.”

Teela smiled. “James and I have slept out in the open often enough. Your father’s room will be very comfortable.
And don’t you worry about anyone or anything. You do need to go on in and get some sleep. You don’t want to endanger your baby.”

Alaina swallowed hard and nodded. She kissed both Teela and Jennifer on the cheek and practically fled down the hall to her room. She undressed quickly, slipping into her nightgown. She lay down. She had wanted to sleep so badly; she had wanted to be alone. Washington.

He meant to take her away. With him. And she didn’t know if she wanted to fight to stay here, or if she was glad he meant to have her with him. In his world. With the woman he had intended to marry.

She closed her eyes tightly, willing thought away. It didn’t work. Her thoughts merely refocused. She kept hearing the dirt fall on the coffin.

She got out of bed. The balcony door was ajar, letting in the night breeze, and she stepped outside, looking toward Teddy’s grove.

Then she realized that she could hear the men talking. They were speaking quietly enough, but their voices were carrying on the breeze.

“I imagine we’ll stay about a week,” Ian was saying. “Time to tie up whatever needs to be done here, leave the isle functioning and everyone working here set. And I want to be here after you’ve been to the base at Key West, Jerome. I should really go myself; I just don’t like the idea of leaving Alaina now.”

“Don’t worry, I can argue well with the military,” Jerome assured him. “Maybe it’s best that I’m going; you are still a part of the army, and you do have a quick temper.”

“Does Alaina know yet?” James asked quietly.

“No,” Ian told him. “I’m not sure when will be the right time to tell her.”