Rebel Princess - Book 2 (The Hope Saga) (24 page)

Brett absolutely hated zucchini, until I surprised him one day. I sautéed some garlic, peppers, and onions in butter, then dipped the zucchini strips in it and slapped them on the grill for about four minutes on each side. He couldn’t get enough of it, always saying I could turn the yuckiest things into something delicious.

The door creaked open, and I peeked my head around the plants.

Smiling, Brett came in holding a book. “I see you’re hard at work,” he said.

“You know how much I love this.”

He smiled. “I won’t bother you for too long, but I have something I’m dying to show you.”

I slipped off my gardening gloves and held out my hands. “I love surprises.”

He handed the book to me.

I peered down at it and read the title:
What To Expect in Pregnancy.
My face lit up as I met his gaze.

“I thought it might help,” he said, “since so many weird things are probably going with your, uh…lady parts or whatever.”

I couldn’t help but smile at how shy he suddenly seemed. Brett was willing to do anything to make me happy, and I’d never felt so loved by anybody. “I hunted in the library for that book.”

“Hannah Bargains let me have her copy, since she doesn’t need it anymore.”

I squealed in excitement. “It’s perfect. Thanks, hon’. Hey, my shift’s almost over.”

“Good, because I intend to spoil you rotten when we get home.”

“You do?”

“Yep. I cleaned the house, and I’m making dinner. Then I’ll treat you to a long back massage.”

“Mmm. That sounds heavenly.”

He wrapped his arms around me.

I looked up into his eyes. “How did I get so lucky?”

“That’s the question I’ve been asking myself since the moment I met you.”

I smiled.

“How’s the baby?” he asked. “Is he kicking?”

“You really need to read this book with me,” I joked. “I won’t feel any movement for months.”

“You know I don’t know anything about this stuff, right?”

“You think I do?”

“We’ll just do what comes naturally and follow our instincts. Women have been having babies forever, right?”

“Right, and lots of my maternal instincts are already kicking in.”

“Like what?”

“Like…nesting.”

“Huh? Last time I checked, you weren’t a bird.”

I laughed. “Like I said, we really need to read that book tonight. Nesting just means I have a natural instinct to want to get everything ready for the baby. I wanna go home and organize all the stuff everyone’s given us.”

“Then let’s eat dinner, I’ll give you that massage, and we can nest to your little heart’s content.”

I chuckled. “Sounds like a plan.”

***

My day was almost over. It had been very productive and I couldn’t wait to finish up. I had one last task to complete and I was done for the day.

When I took the stairs to go get some seeds in the storage unit, I swear I felt a shove and I lost my balance and tumbled down the stairs. I screamed for help. Help came and I was rushed to the doctor. After careful examination, she told me to go home and come back in the morning for another examination.

Back at our suit, Brett touched my stomach. “How are you feeling?”

“I think I’m okay. My back hurts. My head aches.”

I met Brett’s gaze. “I think somebody pushed me.”

“Did you see anyone?”

“No. I could’ve just tripped. It all happened in a blur.”

“Could Carla have done this?” he asked, anger boiling through him.

“No,” I said. “I really don’t think so. Maybe it was one of Dante’s minions.”

“I don’t think somebody would do that.”

“We don’t know what they’re capable of,” I reminded him.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.”

He hugged me and we laid in bed talking for hours, before we fell asleep.

A sharp cramp woke me up.

Suddenly, everything was a blur. More cramps came, and I held my stomach and took a deep breath, then carried on. When the pain became almost too excruciating to bear, I had to wake Brett up. “Baby, something’s wrong,” I said, groaning.

“What? What is it?”

“Cramps,” I stuttered. “It hurts so bad.”

“I’ll get the doctor.”

I watched as he rushed out the door. I tried to get up but collapsed to the ground. When I glanced down, I realized I was standing in a puddle of blood.
No
! I thought.
God, please don’t let me lose this ba—

But before I could even finish the thought, darkness swallowed me whole.

Chapter 39

When I awoke, I found myself in the hospital ward on the south side of the city.

“Sky,” the nurse said.

“Where’s Brett?” I asked.

“He’s answering questions. He’ll be here soon.”

“Is my baby okay?” I asked. 

“The doctor will be in shortly to explain everything.”

I was unnerved by her grim expression, and I feared the worst. My voice wavered as I said, “I can’t wait that long. Please just tell me my baby’s okay. I remember blood, so much blood. I lost my baby, didn’t I?” I said, sobbing into the pillow. “This can’t be happening! Not my baby. I took good care of myself, and—”

“Just try to calm down, honey,” she interrupted. “I’ll go get the doctor.” She refused to look at me in the eyes and hurried out the door as I sobbed and cursed and screamed.

A few minutes later, Dr. Connors came in, the woman who’d been taking care of me and doing my checkups since birth. She could have gone up to the surface years earlier, but she’d decided to stay in Asha, where she was needed. The nurse cautiously walked in behind her.

“Dr. Connors,” I said shakily, “wh-what happened?”

“We tried everything to save the baby, but—”

“Oh no!” I said, putting my hands over my ears, as if I could shut out the bad news I knew I was about to hear.

She gently pulled my hands away from my head. “Sky, I’m afraid you lost the child.”

I sobbed, overwhelmed with grief, and then I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had been emotionally pushed over the edge. 

“Sadly, it’s pretty common these days,” she said, “especially down here.”

Even though it was early in my pregnancy, I’d already grown to love my child, and the loss was paralyzing and painful. 

The nurse touched my shoulder. “Sky, you’ll just have to take one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and try to move on. I promise you that someday, life can be beautiful again, and you and Brett will—”

“No!” I screamed, furious at the hand I’d been dealt. “Stop lying to me, reading that stupid script Dante probably wrote for you.” I was so angry and pained that it literally hurt to breath. Grief blanketed my soul, and depression quickly dug its claws in, threatening to consume me. “I need to be by myself,” I said. “I don’t wanna hear about joy when my heart has just exploded.”

“I understand,” she said, then walked out of the room, followed by the doctor.

A few minutes later, Brett came in, and our eyes locked.

“We…I lost the baby,” I said, weeping, unable to believe I was caught in such a horrific moment.

“I know,” he said. “It wasn’t your fault, Sky.” He embraced tightly, and we both cried for what seemed like an eternity. 

“What happened?” I asked, sobbing. “What did I do wrong?”

“You can’t blame yourself, Sky.”

“It was the fall, wasn’t it?”

His lips trembled and he couldn’t even answer.

I’d never felt pain like that before, not even when I’d lost my mother. Howling, panicked anguish tore through me. “I never saw my baby, but I know he was growing inside of me. I felt him, Brett!”

“Can I get you something, sweetheart? Some water or food or—”

“How can you even ask me that? I don’t want to eat or drink. I just want my baby!” I snapped. I knew he was trying to help and that he was hurting, too, but I was so grief-stricken I couldn’t even think straight. When he grew silent and looked at the floor, I knew I had to apologize. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I feel like my heart’s been ripped right out of me.”

Our eyes locked, and he wiped a tear from my eye.

“Why us?” I asked. “This isn’t fair!”

“I know. It doesn’t make sense. We had so much love to give a child.”

“I can’t stop crying,” I said. “I don’t think I ever will. How can I go on like this, without my baby?”

“I don’t know. I feel the same way,” he said softly, wincing with his own pain.

“We never even got the chance to meet him. I know everybody thinks I’m strong, but I don’t think I’ll survive this.”

“We’ve got to,” he said.

A rollercoaster of emotions washed over me, from depression and disbelief to anger and guilt. “I feel so much, yet I’m so…numb. This is heart-wrenching on every level. I can’t even breathe, Brett. I feel like our whole world has just crumbled into a million little pieces.” I let out a long scream as sobs wracked my body.

Brett held me in his arms as I cried into his shoulder. “I’m heartbroken too,” he said. “I already loved our child with all my heart.”

“We both did.”

My stomach clenched at the sight of Brett crying. There in that lonely hospital room, we shared our feelings and held each other, trying to comfort one another through the pain. Sometimes we were quiet, just looking at each other, unable to speak any words. I’d never felt so lost before, and I wished my mom was alive to hold me. 

***

The next day, I was released from the hospital and sent home, with Dr. Connors’s blessing and assurance that I could call her if I suffered any physical pain.

A few days later, I walked over to the desk and sat down to write a letter to my baby, a final farewell to the little soul I never even got to meet.

“We’ll have another baby,” Brett reassured me.

“That will never replace our son,” I whispered, picking up a toy bulldozer next to the desk from the floor. “He would’ve loved this and racecars and Legos and—”

“Sky, don’t do this to yourself,” he said, hugging me tightly.

It was a painstaking process to try to repair a shattered heart. I wasn’t sure I even could do it. Hardship, heartache, and sadness could either rip us apart or draw us closer together. I vowed that I wouldn’t let it ruin our marriage. We would grieve together, and I knew Brett would stand by me, no matter what.

“Who was at the door earlier?” I asked.

He looked away, clearly not wanting to deliver more bad news.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“It was one of Dante’s men, delivering a message. Sky, they say you have to go up to the surface next week.”

My jaw dropped as I processed his words. “But I haven’t even had time to grieve the loss of my child.”

“It’s official,” he said grimly.

“I can’t! I can’t go through this without you,” I said. “It’ll kill me! Just like my mom. She couldn’t handle being away from my dad.”

He gripped my hands. “You have to stay strong.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, trying to stay calm. “I’ll try everything to get them to let you come up sooner. I can’t wait five to ten years to see you again.”

“I know, but what other choice do we have?”

Rage poured through me. “Why do they get to decide? I hate Dante and his stupid, selfish rules. This is my life, not his.”

“Don’t talk like that. You know how much trouble you can get in.”

“Why don’t we just sneak away?”

He blinked, contemplating it for a moment. “You mean…just leave? Without permission?”

“Yeah.”

“We can’t. If we get caught—”

“So we won’t get caught. Why do we have to follow their rules? If the air is breathable, why can’t we just go up when we feel like it? We’re both adults now. We could easily overpower someone if they came down the chute and got in our way. Who needs Dante’s little sheep colony anyway? I know how to farm. We can take seeds with us and plant all the food we need. We can even looked for canned food. I’m sure there has to be some of that left in deserted houses and buildings.”

“If there is, it’s gotta be spoiled or toxic by now.”

“Then we’ll just be vegetarians. We can live on zucchini and lettuce and beans. We can’t let them separate us, Brett. We already lost our baby, and we can’t lose each other too.”

He reflected on my words. “You’re talking about leaving everything and everyone we love and know. What about our friends and family?”

I inclined my head. “It’ll be you and me taking on the world. How romantic would that be?”

“I know we’ve talked about leaving before, but I also know you want to help rebuild the world. Don’t you want to be part of that anymore?”