Rebellion (31 page)

The imprint of his fingers leaves a raw ache like a burn in my skin. I don’t want to leave yet—I won’t leave until Charlie takes back what he said. But my body moves without my permission. I slip my gun into its holster, turn, and walk up the ramp into the hovercraft.

I feel numb. This can’t have happened, not really. I must be dreaming.

But Logan’s blood spilled on the floor, and the guards took him away. I didn’t dream that.

Tremors run beneath my feet as the door closes behind me. The hovercraft’s engine has come to life. The noise it makes—a loud
whir-churn-whir—
grinds in my right ear. My left ear is starting to heal and hear some things again, but it still feels plugged up.

This ship is a bigger model than the kind I’ve set foot on before, with a large cargo space and even a small kitchen and a medical bay. Lieutenant Dean gives me a strange, almost sorry look as he points me up a short staircase. He must’ve seen what happened out in the port. I didn’t know he was capable of feeling sorry for me, though. I’m sure it’s an act, though I can’t think of a reason why he’d pretend a thing like that. It seems a waste of time.

Up the stairs, I move through a sliding door into the main room. The passenger seats are arranged around circular metal tables, some with two seats, others with four. Cabinets and instrument panels line the empty space between them on the walls.

This is a ship meant for a military mission that could take more than one day.

My feet take me to a seat at an empty two-person table near the cockpit. There’s no door to separate me from Beechy and the male copilot.

Before, knowing Beechy was here would’ve made me feel safer. But he isn’t himself. He’s barely looked at me since I first saw him back in the Core.

He is the only other person in this squadron who would side with the rebels, if he snapped out of his submission. But I don’t know how much the serum is affecting him. He could be aware like me, or he could be so far gone he has no idea anything we’re doing is wrong.

I want to snap him out of it. I don’t want to have to figure all this out on my own.

Sam walks through the door at the back of the ship and makes for the cockpit. He must’ve been down in the cargo bay.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says.

I pull my safety strap on and snap the buckle into place. My seat jolts as Beechy lifts us off the ground. We rise higher and higher, until the people and the other ships seem small below us through the cockpit window. Lights glow on the X-shaped wings of the six fighter jets, which rise slowly to follow us. Beechy turns our ship around, 180 degrees, to face the nearest exit tunnel.

Charlie stands on the ground below. He doesn’t seem scary or powerful when he looks so small, but I know better.

A mechanic walks near him with a rag in hand, and kneels to wipe a dark spot on the floor. Only once we’ve left the port and we’re soaring through the exit tunnel do I realize he was wiping blood. Logan’s blood, from when he fell after I squeezed the trigger.

I hope Logan is already in the sick bay and the nurses are fixing his leg. If he loses too much blood, or if he can’t walk because of me, the guilt will consume me and make it impossible for me to go on.

Charlie might’ve told me to shoot him, but my hands squeezed the trigger, and no one else’s.

Even the part of me affected by the serum should’ve known better. It should’ve known how important he is, how much I need him to be okay. His safety is the reason I took the serum in the first place.

Through the cockpit window, dots of light appear on the walls as we speed up inside the Pipeline. The lights streak by, reminding me of the last time I was flying in this direction, toward the mountains on the Surface. Charlie’s ships were chasing me. This time, they’re escorting me into battle. My enemies are going to help me capture my friends, and I can’t do anything to stop them.

Charlie tricked me. He knew I would fight him again and he would need some way to stop me. I made the mistake of letting him know how much Logan means to me back in Karum, and again the other day.

Logan is my greatest weakness. Charlie will keep using him against me, no matter what I do. He has all the cards in this game; I have nothing.

I don’t want to stop fighting, but I think I have to. I have to readminister the serum when the time comes. I have to remain mindless and follow orders. There’s no other choice. Beechy is as trapped as I am; Skylar has abandoned me; the rebels will soon be captured. No one can help me.

I wish Charlie had made me shoot myself. Then I would be far away from this place, and I wouldn’t feel so much guilt.

*   *   *

The red sky is turning gray when we reach the Surface. Dark clouds drift above the peaks. In the spaces between them, there are already a few stars visible in the heavens.

If Marden’s fleet is really coming, it’s out there somewhere, hopefully not far away. There’s no way I can stop it, or stop Charlie from detonating the Strykers when the fleet arrives. I’d rather this would all end quickly.

If I’m lucky, the fleet will prove stronger than Charlie’s weapons, and the Mardenites will wipe out our race. They will torture Charlie for keeping their god in a cage, and then they will kill him. I’m happy to die as long as he dies with me. I’m ready for it.

“Sir, where do you want us to land?” Beechy asks in the cockpit.

“Show me where the facility is, again,” Sam says, moving around the pilot’s chair to see the map on the dashboard. He went below to the cargo bay earlier and returned in full armor, minus his helmet.

“We’re here,” Beechy says, pointing to one spot on the map. “And the headquarters are right there.”

I hope Sam makes a mistake and puts us down somewhere Sandy and the others will be able to spot us on their radar. Then they’ll know we’re coming, and they can find somewhere to hide. Somewhere we won’t be able to find them.

They can escape, even if I can’t.

“Put us down there,” Sam says, tapping a spot on the map. “Give the fighter pilots the coordinates.”

The copilot relays the instructions into his ear-comm.

Sam turns around and addresses everyone. Seven officials fill the other passenger seats, most talking or playing cards. Lieutenant Dean has been in the cargo bay the whole flight, but the door to the staircase slides open and he appears.

“Attention, everyone,” Sam says, and the talking quiets down. “We’ll be making our descent in just a few minutes, landing within a mile of the rebel headquarters. You all need to be wearing safety gear and ear-comms before we touch down. There’s armor in the lower deck cabinets, as well as safety suits and oxygen tanks. Any questions?”

There’s silence around the ship.

“Good. Get moving.”

The officials unbuckle and make for the door. As I move to follow them, a hand closes around my wrist.

“Stop,” Sam says, and my feet freeze.

I want to keep walking—I want to get away from him, but I’m not supposed to fight. If I fight Sam, Sam will tell Charlie and Charlie will kill Logan.

“Turn around,” Sam says.

Slowly, I turn to face him. His eyes pierce mine, cold and demanding.

“You stole something from me,” he says, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt.

I’m not sure I could struggle against him, even if I wanted to. The serum is still halfway in control of me, and that means Sam is in control as always.

“What?” I ask.

“I said you stole something.”

Beechy and the copilot are here, so we aren’t completely alone. But Beechy is subdued, and the copilot wouldn’t care if Sam did anything. I don’t know how long it will take for the other officials to come back.

“What did I steal?” I ask.

“You stole my rank,” he says, spitting the words like venom.

“I’m not a lieutenant.”

“Not yet. But I overheard Commander Charlie and Colonel Parker talking. They’re giving you rank as soon as we get back from the mission, assuming all goes well. They think you have ‘big ideas’ that can help them fight the Mardenites, if the first maneuver doesn’t work. But I don’t believe it. And I won’t stand for it. You think you can cooperate all of a sudden, after everything you did, and earn everything I have—everything I’ve spent
years
working for?”

He needs to understand: I don’t want what he has. I don’t want any of it.

But all the serum will let me say is, “I’m loyal to Commander Charlie. I always will be.”

Sam lets out a hard laugh. “You think I can’t see right through you? You know, I should’ve killed you in Crust when I had a chance. I could’ve said it was a mistake—Charlie would’ve believed me. He would’ve thanked me for sparing him of having to deal with you and your lies.”

“I’m not lying. I’m loyal to him—”

“Save it. I don’t even care if it’s true.” A smirk tugs at his lips. “I’m going to make it a lie.”

I stare at him, unsure what he’s saying, almost afraid to ask. “How?”

Sam smiles wider. In a calm voice, he says, “When we return from this mission, I’m going to tell Charlie you switched sides and fought against us. I’m telling him you tried to kill me, but thankfully your aim wasn’t very good. If he’s kind, he’ll give me permission to put a bullet through your head, instead of leaving you to rot in a cell while he and I kill your friends one by one.”

I open my mouth to beg him not to do this, but no words come out.

Sam’s smiles turns grim. “Of course, there’s no guarantee you won’t get shot tonight. Fatalities do happen in the field.”

Sam might kill me tonight. Even if he doesn’t, what he tells Charlie will be enough to make me lose Logan, which is worse than my own death.

It doesn’t matter if I’m still one of the mindless. It doesn’t matter if I follow every single one of Sam’s orders. He is determined to make me lose everything.

The door slides open behind me, and he releases my shirt.

“Stop dawdling,” he snaps. “Go get changed.”

I manage to make my eyes narrow at him before I turn away. It almost feels like a victory—a small one, but not enough.

My feet carry me down the steps into the cargo bay, to a storage room full of cabinets. The armor inside is much too big for me, and the safety suits have sleeves too long. It doesn’t matter; I won’t be safe no matter what I wear.

As I pull on the suit and helmet and attach a small comm to my ear, rage builds inside me, growing stronger and stronger.

I won’t let Sam do this. I won’t let him kill me or take Logan away.

The only way to prevent both is to take Sam and his squadron down. It’s dangerous and likely impossible, but I have nothing left to lose.

If I helped the rebels win, Sam wouldn’t be able to talk. The rebels could return with me to the Core, and I could pretend to still be subdued. We could reach Charlie and kill him before he pulls the plug on Logan. It would be a shot in the dark every step of the way. Everything could fall apart, but it’s the only plan I have—one that doesn’t involve giving up.

As I move back up the stairs to the second level, the ship jolts, sending me back into the railing. A second jolt sends me forward, but I grab the rail to keep from falling.

The roar of the engine beneath my feet dulls to a low hum. We must’ve landed. A mile away from the facility, as Sam said.

His voice comes muffled through the door in front of me: “Everyone, head downstairs to retrieve weapons and unload explosives. We’ll depart on the X-wings for the rebel base shortly.”

Boots clunk as the officials head for the staircase where I’m standing. I turn and walk down the steps. The door at the back of the ship opens, showing me windblown trees in the clearing where we landed. The mountain valley near the river. I’ve been here before.

Around me, officials move to transport explosives into the underside compartments of two of the X-wings. Sam barks at me to help Lieutenant Dean carry one of the crates, so I do. It makes no sense to ignore his orders yet, not until the mission is under way and he’s too distracted to notice.

But how can I fight his orders? The serum is still halfway in control. Some steps I take feel like my own, but most feel like someone else is still pulling the strings. I need to fight harder.

The serum is powerful, but it’s not invincible. It wouldn’t have to be readministered, otherwise. Charlie wouldn’t have threatened me with Logan’s life to keep me from fighting it.

I’ll find the loophole. I’ll break free completely.

I hope it won’t be too late.

30

Fierce wind rips at my safety suit as I settle into the third seat in the X-wing. The copper in my holster presses against my thigh.

The other jets are firing up their engines, all around the clearing. The last of the sun’s light has slid behind the mountains, and the stars are bright overhead. Sam went over the mission plan, and he’ll give the order for us to depart any second now.

My heart’s beating so fast, I’m sure it’s going to punch its way out of my chest. It might break free before I do.

“Buckle in,” Skylar says to me in a clipped voice from the pilot seat. There’s another pilot sitting in between us, and Lieutenant Dean sits in the fourth seat, behind me. To keep an eye on me, I’m sure.

I do as Skylar says, but inside I shoot a glare at her back. I wish Sam had put me on another ship, preferably with Beechy, since at least I used to be able to trust him. Skylar isn’t subdued—her eyes are clear as day and she’s acting no differently than she did when she was tied up in a cell. But she’s still helping Charlie. She’s still going to blow up the rebel base and capture our friends.

I almost wish I’d shot her when I had the chance.

Tremors run underneath my seat as the jet cover lowers overhead. Though it’s made of glass and I can still see the trees and the other ships when it’s all the way down, I feel like I’m inside another cage I can’t escape. I feel like I might suffocate.

Sam’s voice comes through my ear-comm: “Pilots, you’re cleared for takeoff.”

The X-wing he boarded sits at the other end of the clearing. Beechy is on his ship.

Beechy’s supposed to reach the rebel security hub with the old comm codes, and weave some story to make Sandy and the others think we stole these ships and broke out of the lower sectors, and we’re coming home. But even if the codes don’t work or the rebels don’t believe us, we can still break through the security barriers and get inside. Sam made sure we have multiple backup plans.