Rebel's Quest (18 page)

“Thank you. I can see you’ve done this before,” Andreia said, and wiggled her fingers cautiously.

“I’ve had a lot of chances.” Roshan’s voice was hollow, her eyes a dull, dark blue.

“I’d think so.” Andreia didn’t like how Roshan stared unseeingly over her shoulder, as if lost in awful memories. “Ro?”

“Yes. What?”

“What happened last night? Something went wrong, didn’t it?”

“We met our objectives. We destroyed the shuttles. Nobody was transported off the planet from that compound.” As she rattled off the defensive words, Roshan seemed to close a door in Andreia’s face.

“But?” Andreia persisted.

“What are you getting at? Isn’t it enough that we did what we were supposed to?” Roshan’s eyes launched daggers.

Breathless from the danger oozing off Roshan and from a long-forgotten excitement, Andreia refused to be intimidated. Instead, she touched Roshan’s arm, trying to convey her understanding and sympathy. “You did well. That’s not the issue. I can see that something went wrong. Did your team suffer casualties?”

Roshan swallowed repeatedly, the anger simmering in her eyes. “Yes. Like on so many other missions. That’s not unusual.”

“Who? Who died, Ro?”

“What do you care?” Roshan began treating Andreia’s other hand.

The fuser stung worse on this one, and Andreia clenched her teeth. She wasn’t sure what was wrong, but Roshan was less careful, seemingly intent on shutting her up by inflicting pain. Or perhaps she was too distraught to perform the procedure correctly.

“Ow!” Andreia finally winced and pulled her hand back when the pain became more than merely annoying. “Roshan!”

Roshan jerked and dropped the fuser on the bed. “Oh, Gods, I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m obviously going out of my mind. What was I thinking using the derma fuser with that setting? Let me see…”

Andreia looked down on her hand and saw an angry red welt swell next to the half closed gash. “You hurt me,” she whispered.

“Not on purpose.” Roshan’s eyes filled with unexpected tears. “Andreia, listen to me. I could never hurt you deliberately. I was angry, yes, and not paying attention. Please, let me see what I did.”

Slowly, Andreia extended her hand, jumping when Roshan cupped her palms around it. “I’ll fix this. The right way.” Roshan sounded strange. Defeated.

After she changed the settings on the derma fuser, the pain went away almost immediately as she began to move the instrument in a slow circle above the wound. Soon the gash was reduced to a fine line, and Roshan let go. “There.”

“Roshan. Tell me. Who did you lose tonight?” Andreia knew she had to ask again, to show herself, and Roshan, that she cared and wouldn’t be intimidated.

Roshan got up and put the fuser back into the med-kit bag, avoiding Andreia’s eyes as she spoke. “Nobody I knew very well. His call sign was Timis. He was our youngest team member, little more than a child, really. Barely twenty years old, and so eager. Nice kid, too. He took a direct hit to his neck.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I, but what good will that do? We had to more or less dump his body at a hospital and hope they can identify him and inform his family. He’d been…to his brother’s…goddamned…wedding…” Roshan’s voice didn’t carry all the way through her last sentence. She broke down into sobs and pulled back. “That’s supposed to be a happy day, isn’t it?” Roshan spoke through the tears with resentment and anger in her voice. “And now his brother will always remember that his happiest day is also the anniversary of when his brother disappeared…when they lost him forever…”

Andreia wasn’t going to let Roshan blame herself. She walked over to her, her heart pounding in her chest and her mouth dry, and tentatively touched Roshan’s shoulder. “Ro, don’t. It wasn’t your fault. You can’t protect everybody all the time. It’s dangerous every time we stand up to the Onotharians. I bet this boy knew that, having grown up knowing nothing of freedom.”

Roshan didn’t push her away, but glared at her with a hard expression. “Nice. But it’s not true. I’m the team leader now. I should’ve anticipated—”

“I don’t buy that. You’re not perfect, and neither am I. I got you the information and tactical data last night, but I risked everything. I wasn’t as fortunate as I normally am. This may be my last day of freedom. For all I know, they’ve figured it out by now and are waiting for me at home or at work, ready to arrest me. And,” Andreia shuddered, “I’m not sure I could resist their measures of persuasion.”

“I won’t let that happen.” Roshan’s face changed from stone-carved to worried determination. “I’ll hide you forever before I allow anyone to harm you!”

Andreia felt something inside her melt. Roshan stood so tall and proud, despite her disheveled appearance and wild white-blond hair. There was something of a tormented deity in her stance, of a goddess who’d stopped seeing or believing in her worshippers and now moved on without them.
That’s it. She seems so lost, so…abandoned.
With her hands still on Roshan’s arms, she shook her gently. “I believe you.” Not thinking of any consequences, Andreia pulled Roshan closer, intending to give her a reassuring hug.

Roshan’s hands went up, and Andreia would never know if the gesture was meant to stop her, because they pulled her into a fierce embrace instead. Andreia gasped, feeling small fires where their bodies met. As if transported back through time, she imagined the young, vibrant Roshan held her, tangled her fingers in her hair, and pulled her in for a kiss.

The older Roshan, with her full lips, curvy and obviously experienced, barely resembled the dynamic young woman who’d loved life with abandon. This Roshan, war-weary from the years she’d led a double life and fought for her homeworld’s freedom, kissed her as if she were the last woman on Gantharat.

Probing, not allowing Andreia any time to catch her breath, Roshan towered over her, bending her back over her arm. Andreia never would have guessed such passion existed behind Roshan’s normal mask of disdain. The tiny fires on Andreia’s skin threatened to ignite all of her own desires, which scared her more than Roshan’s surprising advances. Still, as she returned the kiss, Andreia hoped for Roshan to be a little tender. Tears rose in her eyes, and she mourned for what they nearly had twenty-five years ago, but lost, and could never have again. She sobbed into the kiss, murmuring against Roshan’s lips. “Please, dearest Ro, don’t do this. I can’t stand it. It’s…”
Too much.

Roshan kept kissing her for a few scorching moments and cupped Andreia’s cheek with one hand while she stroked her back with the other. Slowly Roshan released her lips and looked at her with eyes so dark blue they seemed black. Sunlight shone through the large window where thin curtains hid them from the world, engulfing Roshan from behind and painting her an aura of gold. Andreia blinked against the brightness. “Ro?” she whispered.
Oh, Roshan.

“I’m sorry.” Roshan’s voice was hardly recognizable. “I have no idea what got into me. I never…act like this. Ever.” Abruptly, she let go of Andreia and stepped back, wincing as she bumped into a cabinet behind her.

“I realize that.” Andreia ran a hand through her hair and became tangled in her half-undone hairdo. She yanked her hand to free it. “Ow.” Her scalp burned at her attempt to straighten out her hair.

“What are you doing?” Roshan reached out with an exasperated sigh. “Here. Let me.”

“No! I don’t want you to.” Andreia feared what her own treacherous body might do if Roshan kept touching her. Her skin burned, and her nipples ached with need. The few trysts she’d allowed herself through the years had been unfulfilling, quick, and some even physically uncomfortable. None had ever taken her breath away…like Roshan’s kiss had.

And now, when she ought to back away from the glorious woman before her, Roshan’s hands were already in her hair, untangling the pins and combing out the wild curls with her fingers. “Your hair always had a mind of its own. And you still keep it long. Amazing.” Roshan half smiled. “I like how it looks. It suits you.”

“Eh. Thanks.” Andreia wondered how Roshan could switch this easily. Hadn’t the kiss affected her at all? “Now what?”

“We took care of your hands. Now we need to shower. Both of us. And sleep. It’s barely daybreak and we must wait until there’s a morning rush at headquarters to smuggle you back in and then officially sign you out. As far as I can tell, that’s the only way for you to keep going. It’s well worth the risk to do this, to keep Boyoda in play.”

Was there genuine kindness in Roshan’s voice? Andreia wasn’t certain. She was so tired that her knees were giving in. “Just point me in the direction of the shower. I’ll worry about the rest later.”

“Okay. Here. Let’s go.” Roshan walked in front of Andreia into the spacious bathroom. Marble, gold, and glass dominated it, and Andreia stood in the middle of the room, swaying. She wanted to tell Roshan that she could manage, that Roshan could leave.
I need to gather my thoughts and figure out how to handle everything, including her.
Instead, to her dismay, her knees finally collapsed after her ordeal in the ventilation shaft. With a startled intake of breath, she sank ungracefully toward the floor.

Roshan lunged forward and managed to catch her. “Damn it! Are you all right?”

“Stupid knees,” Andreia muttered and clung to Roshan. “All that crawling. It’s nothing. Really.”

Roshan doubted it. “Come here.” She didn’t ask permission, but simply unbuttoned the white coveralls and pulled them off Andreia’s shoulders. Underneath, Andreia wore the same clothes she’d had on at the chairman’s function. “We better get you out of these and into the shower before you fall again.”

“I won’t fall,” Andreia muttered and took a step back. “For the Gods of Gantharat, I’m not a child!”

Surprised by the heated tone behind Andreia’s annoyed words, Roshan let go. “I never meant to suggest you were.”

“Well, you always were good at taking over.” Muttering, Andreia pushed her coveralls down and stepped out of them, then unbuttoned the caftan and tugged fruitlessly at it. “If you want to help, then untangle my hair from whatever it’s stuck to.”

Suddenly not tired at all, Roshan obediently moved in behind Andreia and loosened the long, black strands caught in the ornamental stones at the neckline of the caftan. “There.” She remained where she was as the thin garment slid down Andreia’s body. Static electricity made her red shirt cling to Andreia like a second skin. Without looking back at Roshan, Andreia unbuttoned it and let it fall to the floor as well.

She tried to unfasten her black pants, but Roshan could see her fingers trembling and the button remained closed. “Let me.” She reached around Andreia’s waist from behind and unbuttoned the pants. Andreia’s skin was like satin against Roshan’s hands when she lowered them along slender legs, all the way to Andreia’s small, pretty feet.

Kneeling, Roshan couldn’t stop herself from exploring the way Andreia felt against her hands. The angry passion vanished, and in its place a tender, almost reverent feeling emerged.

“Ro?” Andreia turned within Roshan’s arms and looked down at her with huge, golden eyes.

“Shh.” Roshan gazed up, astonished at how anyone could be so beautiful. Dark, long curls framed Andreia’s triangular face, which, despite her age, held a youthful, wondering expression. Roshan stood, slowly, and smoothed down the unruly tresses that insisted on falling over Andreia’s eyes. It was suddenly so important to make up for the harsh caresses a few minutes earlier. They didn’t have room for any confused anger, masked as passion.

Roshan had no idea why she cared how Andreia felt. They were in this last battle for the planet they loved together, but that was probably it. Once Gantharat was liberated, whether it took one year or ten, would they move along with their lives, their separate lives?

Roshan placed two fingers under Andreia’s chin. Right now, they needed to trust each other, if only to stay alive and carry on the struggle.
We’re pawns in our own fight. We have designated duties, and we don’t have a choice but to stick to them, if we want to keep our honor and win
. Roshan’s pragmatic inner voice couldn’t calm the urgency of her feelings.

She looked down at Andreia under half-closed eyelids. “We should’ve been friends. We
were
friends. True friends.” The words were over Roshan’s lips before she realized what she was going to say.
H’rea deasav’h!
Too frank
.

“The occupation destroyed many families, and even more relationships,” Andreia said calmly. “The Onotharian families that had lived here for generations, who considered themselves Gantharians, if not by race, then by allegiance, are now part of a hated people. Not to mention the mixed families. Both camps consider them traitors.”

“Guess we’d fit into that category if we hadn’t…” Roshan hesitated, unable to speak because of the lump in her throat.

“If we hadn’t hated each other first.” Andreia leaned her cheek into Roshan’s hand for a moment. Then she straightened her back and folded her arms in front of her. She was dressed only in her underwear, thin-linen panties and camisole. “I despised you for so many years. I know better now, but the negative feelings…they’re almost engraved in my heart. Probably because what I considered your betrayal and collaboration hurt me so much.”