Rebuilding Stone (The Stone Brother Series Book 2) (2 page)

Tomorrow is my date with Maddox. I don't usually work on
Thursdays, but tonight I came in. Erica agreed to work for me tomorrow so I
could spend the day preparing for my date. Maddox and I are oddly matched.
Maddox comes from the perfect family. Noah is a doctor, Evan is a lawyer and
Maddox is a cop. I'm sure their parents are so proud of them. They’re all
successful and have that cocky personality. Why did I agree to this? It'll be
the same way as it's always been. I learned the hard way after losing my
virginity to the mayor’s son that I was just a conquest to be won. After
repeating that same mistake with a couple of other guys, I decided to just wait
until I was in a committed relationship.

My family is a train wreck. My mom was beautiful in her day.
She won several pageants and was even a runner-up for Miss Illinois. She also
loves men. She and my father weren’t in a relationship when I was conceived, so
he was in and out of my life. He married a woman who hated anything that had to
do with my mom, including me. Every time I see her, she is ten shades of
jealous. They have a daughter, my sister, Ari. We talk from time to time, but
it’s weird. She knows a loving father. All I know is that I wasn’t loved enough
to fight for. I love my mother, but the older my mom got, the harder she tried
to find a man to take care of us. That meant she had less time for me. I wish
she had realized that if she didn't sleep with them on the first date, she
might actually get a second date. I refuse to make the same mistakes she did. I
have too much respect for myself to put out on a first, second, or even third
date. Trust and respect are two-way streets. When a man can earn my trust and
respect, then there's a chance for something real.

Maddox makes me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long
time. My heart flutters when I see him smile. It makes me so giddy. I honestly
feel like I was worth the wait for him. He kept coming back and that makes me
feel special. I hope he can be the kind of man that I want in my life. I mean,
he’s always coming around and says it’s for me. Guess we’ll have to see. Maddox
gets one chance to prove himself. I don’t have the time or the energy to be
jerked around. Realizing I have spent a good fifteen minutes daydreaming, I
decide to get back to work or at least pretend to be working. Thankfully, we
aren't busy. I decide to go stock the bar and maybe hit the bathroom in case we
get a late crowd. I’ll get Matt to cover the bar.

I'm at Hansons an hour before I'm supposed to meet my
brothers. I'd just gotten off work a short time ago; luckily, they have showers
at the station. I didn't want to drive all the way home in the outskirts of Chicago
only to come back out again. Cop salaries aren’t the greatest and living
downtown is out of the question. I’ve done pretty well for myself. I guess it’s
easy to put money in the bank when you don’t have a family to support. I could
always move to the burbs and have a better house, but the last thing I want is
to be around perfectly happy families.

I head to the bar to order a drink. It's Thursday and
Kerrigan isn't working, so I ask Matt for a beer. It's not the same as watching
Kerrigan behind the bar.

I see a pretty blonde approaching me, "Hey! I've see
you in here before."

"That doesn't surprise me. This is my home away from
home."

"Oh, this is only my third time. I'm pretty sure you've
been here every time, though," she says sitting on the chair next to me. I
know that look in her eyes - it’s lust. Great. She seems easy. Her perfume is
choking me and her ruby red lips tell me to make a move. Just thinking about
getting a little something makes my dick hard. I hope she gives a good blowjob.

"What brought you here today?" I ask.

"I just got off work. Looking to unwind a little. How
about you?" She puts her hand on my chest and slowly works her way down to
the top of my jeans. She bats her eyelashes while her eyes fixate on my dick.

"Same here. I can help with that."

"I was hoping you'd say that. Do you live close?"
she asks.

"Oh, honey. I'm not taking you home. There’s a bathroom
right there. No one else is in the bar. It's only 3 o'clock."

She gets up and I grab her hand, leading her into the bathroom.
The moment we get inside, I start kissing her. It's less than average. Let’s
hope she can be above average when she is down on her knees. I start to rub my
hand between her thighs and she lets out a moan. She's wearing a skirt that
gives me easy access. I slip my fingers inside her panties and move them in a
circular motion. She whimpers and I slide a finger inside her. In and out. I
know she is getting close, so I lean down and suck her nipple through her silk
shirt. "YES! I'M CUMMING!" Her body starts jerking. When she
recovers, she gets down on her knees and undoes my button and zipper, pulling
my dick out.

"Uhh...I'm not going to get this all the way in my
mouth."

"Yes, you will. I'll help you." She looks
intimidated, but she puts her lips around the tip of my hard cock. She starts
sucking, taking more of me in and out of her mouth. I grab the back of her head
and start thrusting my dick further back into her throat. She's starting to
gag, but keeps on going.

I close my eyes and in my mind, I see Kerrigan on her knees
in front of me. It's weird how a sucky blowjob can turn into the most amazing
one if you imagine someone else doing it. Once I'm fantasizing Kerrigan's mouth
on me, it takes me no time to find my release. The woman in front of me swallows
my load and when she does, I’m done with her. I help her off her knees and
throw out a thanks. Hopefully, this girl will be gone before I meet up with my
brothers. I open the door, still zipping my pants. When I look up, I see a very
hurt Kerrigan. DAMMIT! She rushes down the hallway.

Oh my God. I can't believe he did that. Yes, I can. This
type of thing always happens to me. I should be used to this. I wanted to
believe that he was different. I feel him grab my arm and I rip it away.

"Kerrigan, what are you doing here?" That question
is almost laughable.

"You're not who I thought you were, Maddox. You're just
like everyone else. Goodbye, Maddox." I look him straight in the eye and
smile. He will not bring me down.

I’m glad this happened before our date. Nothing like finding
out these things after you are invested in a relationship. As much as it stings
now, I know I’ll be okay. I always am. I walk away and he follows me.

"Kerrigan. I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be
here."

“Jesus, really?!” Now that’s funny. I start laughing and
keep walking.

"Talk to me. SHIT! Kerrigan, I’m sorry.” I say nothing
and head back to the bar. I will not make him feel better or worse about this
situation. That's something only he can do. He sits at the end of the bar. The
blonde girl comes to sit next to him. I can tell this makes Maddox
uncomfortable. Good! He deserves it. Fucking JERK!

Fuck. I feel like a total ass. For a year, I've been trying
to sleep with her. I had a chance and now I’ve blown it. It was more than
sleeping with her; I actually like her. She makes me feel things. Things that I
can’t explain. I just don't know what I want. Kerrigan completely ignores me so
I sit down at the bar. I watch as the blonde comes over. Christ.

"Hey, I guess I should tell you my name is Hollie. You
probably think I'm a slut," she jokes. What does she think is going to
happen here? Does she think I'm going to slobber all over her and take her
home? Fat chance of that ever happening, Hollie.

"You're right. I do. Have a nice evening," I say
as I put money on the bar and walk the fuck out the door. I’ve blown it.

It’s been six months since the Maddox incident. Oddly
enough, I’ve met another cop named Aaron. He is exactly what I’ve been looking
for. He’s handsome, has a cute smile, short blonde hair and is muscular. When
he approached me at the bar, I was ready to tune him out just like I do all of
the other men. Except, when he opened his mouth, his first words weren’t
"you’re beautiful" or another pick up line. His first words to me
were, “You look like you’re having a rough day. Want to talk?”

I really was having a rough day. Maddox had come into the
bar before his brothers and did what he always did after that incident. He sat
at the end of the bar and simply said, “I’m sorry.”

Maddox isn’t sorry. He is still enjoying women. Multiple
women. He has no shame. I wanted to forgive him and give him another chance,
but I can’t. I don’t want to be in a relationship for five years and find out
he is cheating, especially not when he showed me who he was in the very
beginning.

“Hey, are you all right?” Aaron's voice sounded so caring.

“You know what? I am all right. Thank you for asking.”

“No problem. Kerrigan, I was wondering if you’d like to go
to Navy Pier. Walk around?”

“I’m not ready for something like that right now. Thank
you.”

“Okay. I’ll come back tomorrow.” I smile when he says that.

And he did. He came back for two months. Finally, I said
yes.

I’ve seen Aaron coming around for the last couple of months.
Never in my life have I been this jealous. Erica, the other bartender, told me
that Kerrigan and Aaron are officially dating. I fucked up so I shouldn’t
complain, but now I have to sit and watch Aaron take the girl I want out on
dates. Yes, after I hurt Kerrigan, I realized what I was feeling for her was
more than something sexual. I was actually looking forward to talking with her
at dinner. However, I will respect her. She deserves someone she knows will be
faithful. It sucks that Aaron and I work together. Not only do I have to see it
at the bar, but Aaron is a bragger at work too.

Tonight, as I’m here at the bar watching Kerrigan work, I
realize I need to move on. I need to give Kerrigan a chance to find her
happiness. I sit down in the booth waiting for my brothers. When Evan comes in,
he spots a pretty, brown haired girl at the bar and he holds his finger up for
me to wait. I nod. I also noticed the girl, but she just isn’t Kerrigan. Noah
finally arrives and asks, “Hey, where’s Evan?”

“At the bar, trying to pick up some new pussy.”

I have to smile at Noah’s reaction. He hates that we pick up
women here. He goes on and on about the rumors he has to hear at work. We
continually tell him to find another place for us to meet. Evan comes back
telling us the girl shot him down. I tease that I’m up next. Maybe I can move
on.

“Hey beautiful, you shot down my brother. That earns you
another Corona."

"No thanks, I'm good," she answers. Very pretty, I
think while looking at this girl. Since Kerrigan is dating, I decide to give
this girl one more try.

"You can’t say no to one of Chicago's finest," I
tease. I notice Kerrigan walk away.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm good. I had a shit day
and just want to wallow."

"Shit day?" I ask.

"Yeah. Literally, a shit day."

"Well, let me buy you a drink and then I will leave you
to wallow," I need to wallow now too.

"Thanks. My name is Molly." Molly looks away
quickly like she regrets even giving her name. Clearly, no one is getting into
her panties.

"Relax. It's a free beer. By the way, I'm Maddox,” I
walk away leaving her to her shit day and wishing Kerrigan would talk to me.

After returning to my seat, I sit and watch Kerrigan and a
smile crosses her face. She is talking to Molly about something. Seeing her
smile both destroys and ignites me. After I ruined my chance with Kerrigan,
I’ve spent endless nights inside of women. Lately though, I just can’t. I hear
men start whistling and I notice Kerrigan and Molly are dancing on the bar.
Watching her be so carefree reminds me that I am an easy person to forget. My
mom left because of me. She forgot me. Something in me just isn’t loveable.

I had so much fun dancing with Molly. She seems genuine and
she turned down the Stone brothers, so that makes her a super-cool chick in my
book. I can’t wait until Aaron gets home so I can tell him about my day. Seeing
Maddox trying to pick up Molly shouldn’t have stung, but it did.

“Kerrigan? You here?” I hear Aaron call out.

“Yes, in the bedroom.”

“There you are beautiful,” Aaron says while coming in for a
hug. The smell of whiskey hangs on his breath.

“How was your day?”

“It was good. Really good. I met a new girl, Molly. She
seems pretty nice. I invited her to dinner with me, Lani and Jessica later this
week.”

“Am I invited?”

“Well, it was going to be a girls' dinner.”

“I see...” Aaron says and walks out of the room. He seems
upset so I follow him into the living room.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Tell me about this Molly girl.”

I start explaining everything. I realize I made a mistake
when I said she turned down the Stone brothers.

“Kerrigan, have you slept with Maddox?”

“Uh. No. Why?”

“I just don’t like the thought of working with someone who
has had his dick inside my girlfriend.”

“Well don’t worry about that. It never got that far between
us.”

“There was an us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Aaron’s tone
alarms me.

“Because it was nothing. Nothing worth mentioning anyway.”
Aaron stands up and backs me into the corner. He places his hands on the wall
like he is trapping me.

“Don’t fuck with me, Kerrigan. Don’t fuck with me. Just so
you know, I will be joining you for dinner.”

“I’m not messing with you, Aaron. Maddox and I are nothing.
We never were. I agreed to a date, but before we went out I caught him coming
out of the bathroom with a blonde.”

“Stay away from him,” Aaron warns.

“Aaron, I haven’t spoken to him in months. Months. What’s
gotten into you?”

“I’m sorry baby. I love you too much to lose you. I feel
like you are too good for me.”

“Hey, no, I’m not. I'm lucky to have found you. I love you
too, Aaron.”

He lays me down on the bed and starts making love to me. I
try to get the image of Maddox out of my head because honestly, I don’t know
why he is running through my mind. Aaron loves me and I love him. Well, I am
trying to love him. He cares enough to worry about me and to want to protect
me. No one has ever made me feel this important. Clearing Maddox from my mind,
I’m here in this moment with Aaron. Since he is drunk, it ends quickly. He made
no time to take care of my needs. When we are done, I feel used. I’ll give him
this because I know he just needed this reassurance from me.

Three weeks pass and it’s been nice. Aaron and I spend a lot
of time watching movies and ordering in. There hasn’t been any drama and Aaron
seems to have moved on from the jealousy he felt towards Maddox.

“What are you thinking about, Kerrigan?” Aaron asks.

“Oh nothing. Thinking about work. Tonight, I’m going out
with the girls.”

“You are? You didn’t tell me about these plans.”

“Oh, yeah. Molly, Jessica, Lani and I are meeting at
Hanson's.”

“You don’t plan on dancing on a bar again do you?” he says
as he stands up.

“Aaron, it was a good time. We went over this. It was for
fun.”

“Fun? You think I like men looking at what’s mine?”

“What’s yours?” I like being wanted, but I hate feeling
suffocated.

“Yes, Kerrigan. What’s mine” Aaron grabs my arm.

“Let go.”

“No, Kerrigan. I want you to say you’ll behave.”

What is he talking about? I don’t like this side of Aaron.
We already had this fight. He’d been drinking though, so I let it go.

“Aaron, I love you. I moved in with you. I’m only going out
to enjoy my friends' company.”

“What, you don’t enjoy me?” He starts running his finger
down my face.

“Stop. You’re acting like a possessive jerk.”

He grabs my arm and forcefully throws me on the bed. I start
trying to push him off. Fear is building inside of me. At first, I thought
Aaron was suffocating because he was insecure. Now, I wonder if there is
something more.

“I’ll show you possessive. I’ll show you what you enjoy.”

“Aaron, STOP!”

“No, Kerrigan, I want you to admit you’re mine. And to tell
me you’ll behave tonight.”

“I’m just going out with friends.”

“Say it Kerrigan. Say you’re mine.”

“Aaron, I’ve given you no reason to not trust me. I don’t
like this behavior. It scares me.”

“God, Kerrigan. I’m sorry. I hate feeling like you’re
slipping through my fingers. You’re too good for me.”

“Aaron, please, you have to stop acting this way. I’m here
with you. Every night.”

“You’re right Kerr, I’m sorry.”

We spend the next few hours talking about insecurities and
how he has been changing. He promises that he’ll change. The fear of losing me
makes him crazy. I’m so confused. On one hand, Aaron is what I want. On the
other, he is everything I hate in men. A bully.

---

I’ve talked to Lani, my best friend. She is the best thing
that’s ever happened to me. She saved me one night while at a party in high
school. Guys who had been drinking got out of hand. Lani is a tiny girl, right
at five feet tall. If I were guessing her weight, I would say one hundred and
ten pounds. Don’t get me wrong; Lani has an incredible strength inside her. Her
voice that night kept those boys from following through with their rape plans.

I’m finding it hard to talk to her about Aaron. She thinks
it’s as simple as leaving him. That’s not what I want to hear. Aaron isn’t like
those high school boys. Those boys were pure evil. Aaron needs AA, not jail.
I’ve decided I can't talk about this with anyone because they just don’t
understand.