Recipe for Disaster (33 page)

“Oh, no!” Caroline leans over and takes Marie’s hand.

Marie shakes it off. “I hate her. I hate that she had the best daughter on the planet and never appreciated her and wasn’t ever there for her and never once did anything for her. You guys don’t know. She was the most self-absorbed narcissistic cold person . . .”

“She gave me Joe.”

“But . . .” she says.

I raise my hand. “She. Gave. Me. JOE. Whatever other bullshit happened, the most important thing in my life growing up was Joe. He made me who I am, he helped me find my calling, he was a gift, and everything else is just beyond my ability to get upset about.”

“You could get a little upset,” Caroline says.

“It takes nothing away from Joe, and how important he was to you, to acknowledge that your mother failed you in almost every way,” Hedy says.

“I think you should tell her to go fuck herself,” Marie says, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms like a petulant child. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her so furious. “You guys don’t get it, I was THERE. I MET HER. Wanna know how she screws in a lightbulb? Holds it up in the air and lets the universe just revolve around her.”

This makes the three of us bust out laughing. “Oh, Marie, I love you. Thank you for being so on my side.” It does mean the world to me that my oldest friend is so protective. “But I do think I have to see her. At the end of the day, if for no other reason, to prove that I am who I am in spite of her and what she did or didn’t do. I frankly think that telling her to fuck off would be the easy thing, and maybe it’s what she wants. I certainly get the sense that this is all Alan’s doing, wanting to meet me, taking this job in Chicago for two weeks. I’m sure if she could have figured out a way to avoid it, she would have. So I’ll see her, I’ll be polite, I’ll be a grown-up, and then she’ll leave.”

“I still think she probably just needs a kidney or something,” Marie says, refusing to be placated.

“I promise. I will give her a minimum amount of my time. My kidneys stay with me.”

“That’s all I’m saying,” Marie says, finishing her glass of wine. Caroline raises an elegant hand, and our waiter appears in a flash.

“We’ll need another bottle,” she says, and he heads for the glass-enclosed wine storage in the center of the restaurant.

“I’ll be right back,” I say, getting up and heading for the bathroom. Marie gets up to come with me, taking my hand and holding it tightly as we wend our way through the throngs of people.

“I love you,” she says.

“I love you back.”

“I still hate her.”

“I know. And that makes me all wiggly with adoration for you.”

We go to the bathroom, and Marie touches up her lipstick while I pee. Then we head back out, and walk by a couple who are essentially having stand-up sex in the hallway where the bathrooms are; all we can see is long blond hair on top of a tiny black dress, and a pair of male hands grabbing a tight tush. The left hand has a thin scar down the back, and the middle finger is somewhat shortened. I know that hand. I know the back of that hand like I know the back of my own hand.

“Grant?” I say.

Grant’s head emerges from the curtain of blond hair, and the hair turns to look and see who is talking to him. She can’t be more than twenty-five, with that bland prettiness that is mostly makeup and a body that is mostly boobs.

“ANNEKE!” Grant looks like he is going to throw up.

“Hi! I’m Crystal!” the blonde says.

“Of course you are,” Marie mutters.

“Well, this is a surprise to say the least,” I say. “Gregg working tonight?”

Grant blushes beet red. “I, um, I . . .” he sputters.

“Yeah. Exactly,” I say. My heart is a tight little fist in my chest. I want the floor to open and swallow me up. “Interesting to see you here,” I say, since Grant was always very snobby about places like this.

“Anneke?” A voice behind me makes me jump nearly out of my skin, and I turn to see Liam, who has just come up the staircase.

“Je-SUS!” I shriek, in an octave somewhere between dolphin and Mariah Carey.

“Grant,” Liam says, taking in the scene.

“Hi! I’m Crystal!”

“Yes, dear. Good for you. Anneke? A moment?”

Marie looks stunned, like she doesn’t know what to do. “I’ll meet you back at the table, Marie,” I say, while I half swallow my tongue. She looks relieved, and turns to head back to the dining room.

“Grant, good to see you. Crystal,” Liam says, and takes my arm, moving me forcefully down the hall toward the bar, finding us a corner that is shockingly empty. He waves over the bartender. “Two Knob Creek, neat.” The bartender pours two generous shots, and hands them over, and Liam and I both take them down in one gulp. “I thought I’d better get you out of there before you said something you’d regret.”

“You mean like asking Crystal if she has a penis? Or if she plans on introducing him to anyone who has a penis?”

Liam smiles. “Something like that. You can’t give him the satisfaction. You win. You dodged a bullet with him, and because of that you found Jag. I know it hurts your pride, and makes you angry, and that is totally understandable. But if you make a scene here, if you show him that it hurts you, he wins.”

“I want to go home.”

“You can’t go home.”

“I’m a grown-ass woman.” I think about what Hedy said earlier. “I can do whatever I want.”

“You are indeed. And a grown-ass woman doesn’t run away. A grown-ass woman knows that she is more powerful than any idiot like Grant. You are going to go back to your table and have a great meal and a fun time, and when you leave, if he’s still here, you are going to go right to his table and kiss him on the cheek and tell him it was good to see him. And THEN you can go home.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Stay here one second.” Liam leaves me and heads halfway down the bar to a small group of people, talks to them for a moment, and then comes back to me. “C’mon. Where’s your table?”

He places a hand on the small of my back and guides me through the restaurant to where the girls are sitting. “Hello, ladies, so good to see you, any chance a bloke could crash your party for a while?”

“Of course, you’re very welcome,” Caroline says. She raises a hand and within moments another chair has been added to our table, right next to me, and a place setting appears like magic.

“So you must be Caroline.” He winks at Caroline, who actually blushes prettily. “Hedy, Marie, nice to see you both again.”

“Indeed,” Hedy says, implying just the opposite, and raising an eyebrow at me.

“So, I’m sure Marie has filled you in on what just happened,” Liam says.

Hedy tilts her head across the room, where we see Grant and Crystal being taken to their table. He still looks like he swallowed a hot coal.

“Ah, yes, now, ladies, everyone laugh. Now.”

We all start to fake giggle, awkwardly at first, but when it sinks in, we actually laugh for real. “Showtime,” Hedy says, knowingly.

“Let’s make this fun,” Marie says, with a wicked glint in her eye.

“Fuck that assomelette,” Caroline says.

“Did you just say ASSomelette?” Hedy says. And the five of us burst into genuine laughter.

“What did you order?” Liam whispers in my ear.

“Bone-in rib eye,” I say.

“Perfect. We’ll share,” he says and winks at me.

For the next hour Liam is charming, funny, self-deprecating. The girls are all buzzing like bees in a hive. He compliments Caroline, trades barbs with Hedy, is sweet and sincere with Marie. And the whole time he stays right by my side, telling them stories from MacMurphy that make me sound like a rock star surrounded by idiots. And while I know he is pumping up my ego a bit and trying to keep everything light, there is something in the stories he chooses and the way he is talking that actually makes me believe him. Within ten minutes, I stop looking over at Grant’s table and just focus on having fun. Liam splits my steak with me, and then finishes Hedy’s lamb chops, Caroline’s veal, and Marie’s tuna, not to mention the mac ’n’ cheese, onion rings, brussels sprouts, and creamed spinach we’ve ordered for sides. I have no idea where he puts it. Then he orders their signature lemon cake for all of us to share.

By the time the meal is over, I feel a million times better. I’m full of good food, and good wine; we’ve laughed heartily.

“Ladies, I thank you all for letting me crash your girls’ night, and letting me steal all your food. It was a pleasure to finally get a chance to know you all, and I hope to see you again very soon. But I don’t want to overstay my welcome, and I know that you all want some time together, so I will take my leave. Besides, I’ve had the lemon cake and don’t think you’re going to want to share it with me.” He kisses all of our hands, and crosses the restaurant to Grant’s table, where he leans over and whispers something in Grant’s ear, making Grant blanch white, before clapping him on the back and walking away. I would give my left arm to know what he said.

“Well, Anneke, that was an unexpected pleasure,” Caroline says.

“We thought he was a douche?” Hedy says, shaking her head.

“Did you see his shoulders?” Marie says almost absentmindedly.

“MARIE!” Caroline says.

“HA!” Hedy says, as Marie turns beet red.

We are all laughing, when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see a text from Liam.
Thanks for letting me crash. Don’t forget to kiss him good-bye. See you tmrw. L.

“Well, despite his history, I have to admit, that is a pretty good guy in my book,” Hedy says.

“Yeah, he has his moments,” I say.

After we devour the lemon cake, our waiter comes over to inform us that Liam has taken care of our bill, and to thank us for our patronage, and we get up to leave. I’m absolutely overwhelmed with his generosity, both emotional and financial. It felt actually sort of wonderful to sit with him at my side, sharing a meal.

“Just a sec, guys, I’ll meet you at the elevator.” I walk purposefully over to Grant’s table.

“Grant, great to see you, hope you are having as much fun as we did. Crystal, nice to meet you.” I lean over and kiss his cheek, and then walk away without a backward glance. And for whatever flaws he has, Liam was right about one thing. It would have been a pity to run away. I head over to the elevator where my posse is waiting for me, grinning at my chutzpah, and we ride down, laughing at the complete ridiculousness of the night. We head out the door onto Oak Street, and it is a beautiful balmy night.

“C’mon. Let’s go somewhere for a nightcap,” I say. And the four of us link arms, and head off to keep the fun going.

W
alter drops me off just after two, having dropped Marie off first, and then left Caroline to sleep over at Hedy’s. I’ve got a good buzz on, but I’m not sloppy. We ended up at the Drawing Room, where we continued to have drinks and fun, and I was able to let it all go. It felt great, and I have to say that I’m feeling awfully warmly toward Liam. There is a note in the kitchen that Emily walked the dog around ten, and is sleeping over at a friend’s house. I’m just making a cup of tea when Jag tiptoes into the kitchen.

“You’re still up.”

“Just got home. Tea?”

“Sure. How was your night?”

“Lovely, actually, as it turns out. How about yours?”

“Lovely as well. But complicated.”

“Complicated in what way?”

Jag strokes his shiny beard and takes a deep breath. “I have to say something I never expected to be saying.”

My stomach drops. “What’s that?”

“Wife, I have fallen in love.”

Oh no. I never even considered this. “Jag, it’s just the circumstances making you confused.” I adore Jag, but he feels like a brother, or what I think a brother might feel like if I’d ever had one. I can’t even remotely consider him in a romantic way.

“No, darling, I don’t think so. It’s very unexpected, and I know it makes things much more difficult than we had anticipated, but perhaps it is just that the situation has made some things clear to me, and at least made me feel like it is worth taking risks to get what you want.”

“Jag, I don’t know what to say, I adore you, you know that, your happiness is very important to me, not just professionally, but obviously personally.”

He smiles tenderly. “I know. It’s why I know you will approve, even though it meant that I had to break our pact.”

Now I’m confused. “What pact?”

“To not tell anyone about our arrangement.”

Wait a cotton-picking minute. “Who exactly did you tell about our arrangement?!”

“Nageena, of course.”

“Why of course?”

“Because she is the one I’ve fallen in love with.”

I am such a fucking idiot.

“I know it is a shock, Anneke, it is a shock for us both as well, but we had, for lack of a better word, a moment at the lake house over Memorial Day weekend, and when I realized not only what I’ve been feeling but that she was clearly feeling it as well, you must understand that I had to tell her. I couldn’t have her thinking that I was some unfaithful horrible person.”

“Not at all. You’re a fucking prince. You just impose this horrible restriction on me and my life and my relationships, and the moment you get a little itch that needs scratching, you throw it out the window for your own convenience.”