Reckless (62 page)

I pressed my lips tight together. God, I hated saying it. I hated thinking it. I hated everything about this moment. “He’s in surgery. They aren’t sure . . .”

“Jesus. Kiera . . . I’m . . . I’m so sorry.”

Even though we were in the middle of New York City, it was quiet outside the hospital. Peaceful. I could hear everything going on around me—cars driving past, a couple talking as they
walked down the sidewalk, a siren in the distance, and Denny sniffling in my ear. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Kiera.” By the pain in his voice, I could tell that, regardless of
what had happened between them, Denny was genuinely concerned for his longtime friend.

I leaned against a column supporting the overhang to the ER entrance. Matt stopped pacing and stared at me. The terror in his eyes matched the horror in my heart. “He has to be,” I
whispered. I couldn’t picture my life without him.

I hung up with Denny after telling him that I’d call him the minute I had any news on Kellan. When I tucked the phone back in my purse, Matt approached me. “I’m so glad
you’re okay, Kiera. That was the scariest shit I’ve ever seen.”

Walking over to him, I nodded. He had his cell phone in his hand, and he was squeezing it so tight, his fingers were bloodless. Placing my hand over his, I attempted to relax his death grip on
the device. “Who were you calling?”

He stared at the doors over my shoulder. “My parents, Rachel . . .” When his gaze returned to mine, his pale eyes were glossy. “I’m scared to go in there,” he
whispered.

“I am, too,” I told him. Successfully dislodging his cell phone, I grabbed his hand. It tightened around mine like a vice, like I was the only thing keeping him upright.
“We’ll go in together, okay?”

Looking like a lost little boy who had finally found someone to guide him home, Matt nodded at me. Together, we walked into the hospital to await Kellan’s fate.

Deacon and the rest of the boys from Holeshot were waiting back inside the ER, as was Taskmaster Tory and some of the crew members. They all looked just as worried as we were. While everyone
settled into a comfortable place to wait, I called everyone I could think of—Jenny, Cheyenne, Kate, my parents, Kellan’s dad. Most of them had already heard the news by this point, but
talking to them gave me something to do besides worrying about Kellan.

When I had exhausted the contact list in my phone, Anna pulled me into a bathroom to clean me up; I was still a blood-covered mess. She washed my face and my hands and tore off one of her
layered long-sleeved T-shirts. It was a maternity shirt and way too big for me, but it effectively hid the blood splattered across my top. Still ripe with emotion, Anna lightly kissed the bandage
on my head. “I never want to see your head wrapped in gauze again,” she told me.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I nodded in agreement. “Me either.”

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Starting to lose it, she brought her hands to her face.

Knowing she needed to cry, I held her tight and let her. I stopped myself from crying along with her, though. There was no need. Kellan was fine.

When we got back to the waiting room, I noticed people staring out the window, pointing and whispering. I didn’t really care what they were finding so interesting, I just wanted news on
Kellan. But Deacon was with them and he motioned me over. “You gotta see this, Kiera.”

Feeling stiff, sore, tired, and drained, I shuffled over to the wall of windows where people were gathering. Not knowing what to expect, I peeked outside. It was almost lunchtime, and there was
a group of people across the street, leaning against a low wall by a parking lot. They looked like they were having a picnic. Fascinating. I was about to ask what the big deal was when I noticed
the shirts under their jackets. They were all wearing D-Bags shirts, and the opaque cups they were holding as they stood in a line on the sidewalk weren’t holding beverages, they had small
candlesticks inserted through them that gave the cups a cheery glow on this dreary day. My heart swelled at the sight of even more people loving Kellan. He wouldn’t believe this.

I knew the answer, but I had to ask the question anyway. “Are they here for Kellan?”

Deacon smiled as he stared at the growing crowd. “Yes.”

Warmth filled me as I watched this silent vigil for Kellan. I could almost feel the healing, positive energy flowing from them. Kellan needed to see this. He needed to see how much he was cared
about, how much he was loved.

“Mrs. Kyle?”

I turned around to see a woman with a stethoscope around her neck standing behind me. She was looking at every person in the waiting room, her face neutral. I didn’t know what that face
meant. This wasn’t the doctor who had been with Kellan in the ER. I didn’t know who she was or what she wanted. I’d already filled out the paperwork for both Kellan and myself
with the nurse, so she had to be here to tell me about Kellan, about whether he was alive . . . or not. Why couldn’t she smile, give me some ray of hope? My chest felt tight. Breathing was
impossible. Stepping toward her, I nodded and raised my hand; it was all I could do.

Approaching me, she calmly said, “Your husband is out of surgery. Everything went well, and he’s recovering in a room upstairs if you’d like to go see him.”

My knees gave way, but Deacon caught me. “He’s fine? You’re sure he’s fine?” I choked out.

The doctor finally smiled. “His spleen ruptured in the accident, which can be very dangerous, but my colleague and I were able to repair the tear and save the organ. He also bruised his
hip, fractured a few ribs, and he’ll be sore for a long time, but he was very lucky. I’ve seen much worse. He’ll need to stay here for a few days so we can watch for
complications, and then he’ll need lots of rest . . .”

She kept speaking but I didn’t hear a word of it.
He was alive.

The assemblage waiting to see Kellan headed upstairs. Once we got to the nurse’s station, a tall woman with her hair pulled back into a tight bun stopped our group. “Who are you here
for?” she asked, eyeing our motley crew.

I looked behind me at the various band members and roadies. I could only imagine who the nurse thought we all were. Turning back to her, I spoke in a shaky, excited voice. “I’m here
to see my husband, Kellan Kyle.”

A small smile crept into her mouth, and I could tell she recognized his name. “Oh, yes, well he’s still recovering so only one of you—”

I stepped forward, not letting her finish. “I need to see my husband, please.”

She indicated with her head for me to follow her. While we walked down the crisp white halls, the nurse looked me over. “We’ve had a few celebrities over the years, but none quite as
big as Kellan Kyle. Half of the girls on the floor are in an absolute tizzy that he’s here. So, you’re really his wife?”

My eyes were frantically scouring the names on all the doors we were passing.
Where was he?
“Yes,” I told her, only half-listening.

“Oh,” she said, sounding surprised. “All that hoopla with Sienna Sexton must have been really hard on the two of you.”

I looked up at her. She seemed youthful, but the crinkles around her eyes and mouth suggested that she was older than she appeared. The smile she was giving me was full of sympathy. “You
have no idea.” I gave her a wry smile.

She held her hand out to me. “My name is Carly. If you need anything, you just let me know.”

I gave her hand a quick shake. “Thank you, I really appreciate that.” I had a feeling I would definitely need her help while we were here.

I knew the minute we were at Kellan’s room. I knew it because a swarm of young nurses were hovering at the open door, glancing inside. The smile on Carly’s face vanished as she
scowled at the girls. “If you all have nothing to do, I’m sure I could find something for you.”

Tittering, the girls scampered off. Carly sighed as she indicated his door. “Like I said, we haven’t had anyone quite like Kellan here.”

A nervous laugh escaped me as I stepped into Kellan’s private room. Leaving us alone, Carly closed the door as she left. The lights were low, the shades drawn. It was solemn and quiet.
Kellan’s eyes were closed and his head was angled away from me. The top of the bed was elevated some, so he was propped up, and the covers were tucked under his arms. His hands rested at his
sides in an almost unnatural way. An IV pierced through the back of his left hand, pumped him full of medication and painkillers. His ring was missing; they must have removed it before the
surgery.

Kellan was tall and well-built, but he looked tiny as he lay in the bed. The sight made my eyes sting.

The expression on his face was so peaceful as he slept that I almost wanted to stay where I was so that I didn’t unintentionally disturb him. I couldn’t stay that far away, though.
Quiet as a mouse, I walked to his side. He had small cuts on his face, but other than that he looked perfect. He was wearing a hospital gown, the embarrassing kind that ties in the back, and a bag
of his belongings was sitting on the nightstand next to the bed.

Careful to not hurt him, I sat on the edge of his mattress. I was a little scared to touch him, but I needed to, so I gingerly wrapped my fingers over his arm. He was warm. “Kellan,”
I whispered, “are you awake?” His head moved, but he didn’t answer me. I ran my fingers down his arm, cupping his hand. “I’m right here, waiting for you.” Tears
clouding my vision, I ran a knuckle down his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

Minutes ticked by as I waited for whatever drugs they’d used to knock him out with to wear off enough that he’d wake up. It felt like it took forever, and a little bit of guilt crept
into me that the others couldn’t see him yet. But I needed to be there when he woke up. I just . . . needed it.

I could tell when he was starting to come around. His eyes moved beneath his lids. Then he inhaled a deep breath and cringed on the exhale. I hoped he didn’t wake up in too much pain. When
he finally opened his eyes, I thought my face might split apart I was smiling so hard. “Kellan, baby?”

He didn’t look my way, just slowly blinked and stared at nothing. He had to be confused. I wondered if he even remembered the accident. Tenderly, I stroked his cheek again.
“Kellan?”

He finally turned my way, his expression blank. As his midnight eyes searched my face, I began to get the horrid feeling in my gut that he wouldn’t remember me. The doctor hadn’t
mentioned a head injury, but what if he’d struck the concrete too? What if he had amnesia? God, would he still love me if we had to start over?

Kellan worked his mouth, then swallowed a few times. Forehead wrinkling, he said, “Kiera? What happened?”

Relief and amusement flooded through me. Of course he still remembered me. “I got pushed into the street. You raced out to help me, and a truck hit you. You’re in the
hospital.”

Kellan’s eyes fixed on the bandage at the edge of my hairline. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Shaking my head that he was still more worried about me, I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. “You’re alive. I’m perfect.”

Closing his eyes, Kellan looked pained as he breathed shallowly through his mouth. “I don’t feel good.”

I smoothed back his hair. “I know. They had to operate on you because your spleen ruptured. They were able to save it, but you’re going to be sore for a while.”

Kellan cracked an eye open, and a ghost of a smile crept into his lips. “Oh, good, I’d hate to be spleenless.” He closed his eyes again. “What the hell does a spleen do
anyway?”

A small laugh escaped me. His sense of humor was definitely still intact. “From what I remember in school, it’s like the oil filter of your immune system . . . and it was once
thought to be the source of anger. I’m not sure about that one though.”

Kellan started to chuckle, then froze. “Oh, don’t make me laugh.”

I kissed his cheek. “I won’t. We’ll never laugh again, I promise.”

Opening his eyes, he chuckled again, then cringed. “I said don’t make me laugh.”

Resting my head against his, I whispered, “I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Kellan tried to pull me into a hug, but he was so weak and so sore. I didn’t want him hurting himself, so I stilled his hands and crawled into the bed with him. Carefully draping my arm
over his upper chest, I gently squeezed the top of his shoulders. He sighed in relief. “I love you too.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks as what nearly happened today crashed into me. I kissed his head as I held him tight. “You saved my life,” I whispered, my voice warbling.

His words thick with sleep, he told me, “I was returning the favor.”

He started to doze off again, and I thought to leave so others could see him. His hand on my back tightened when he felt me move away. “It’s okay, I was just going to let the others
come see you. They’re all so worried.”

“Stay . . . just . . . for a minute,” he mumbled.

I kissed his shoulder. “As long as you want, Kellan. As long as you want.”

He dozed off again after a few minutes. Knowing others needed to see him, I carefully climbed out of his bed. He stirred but didn’t open his eyes. When I got back to the waiting room, a
surprise was waiting for me. Justin was there, talking to Evan. The nurses who had been hovering by Kellan’s room were openly gaping at the new rock star who had dropped into their midst. I
figured this day would live on in infamy for them. For me too, I supposed.

Touched that Justin was there, I immediately threw my arms around him. “Justin, thank you for coming. This will mean so much to Kellan.”

Justin patted my back in a friendly squeeze. “Our tour was close by. When I heard the news, I had to. Is he okay?”

I nodded as I stepped back. “Yeah. Groggy, but okay.” I looked around the band members. “You guys can see him now.”

Matt, Evan, and Griffin all looked at each other. The nurse had said one person could go in at a time; they were trying to decide who should go in first. Shrugging, Matt stuck his hands out with
his fist on his palm. “Rock Paper Scissors?”

Griffin rolled his eyes. “We’re fucking rock stars. When did we start caring about rules?”