Reckless Heart (20 page)

“Don’t leave until you get another job,” he said.

Molly glanced over at Brianna and Jake. Their eyes were focused on the salad preparations, but Molly knew they'd heard every word. Her own curiosity would have been in overdrive.

Shakily, she smiled. “I have a thing about being bossed around. Josh seems to bring out the worst in me,” she said.

Brianna met her eyes and nodded sympathetically. “I know exactly what you're talking about. The only thing I can say is he usually means it for the best.”

Molly nodded. “Maybe. But whose best, mine or his?”

She folded the envelope and stuffed it in her back pocket. Another letter from her father, and another confrontation with Josh. Maybe she should call Mrs. Montgomery in the morning and see if she had found anything promising. She didn’t know how much longer she could stay on the Rafter C.

Molly headed for the office after doing the dishes. She hadn’t seen Josh or the Morgans since dinner ended. She hoped they were watching television or had gone for a walk. But as she approached the office door, she heard them. Sighing with the lost opportunity to work on her book, she almost turned away when she heard her name.

“Molly’s not your sister. It was bad enough when you tried to boss me around all the time. She’s an employee.”

“Get off my back, Brianna.” Josh’s voice was hard.

“Or maybe she’s more than an employee,” Brianna suggested.

“No.”

“You watch her all the time. I don’t remember you watching Rachel.”

“I don’t watch her all the time. Sometimes I look at her but, you can see it, she’s pretty, easy on the eyes. The men look at her, too.”

“There’s more to it than that. I know you two were kissing at the picnic. Her lips were rosy when we got back.”

“Jake, take your wife out and distract her,” Josh said.

Molly heard Jake’s low chuckle. “Come on, Brianna. You’ve said enough.”

“No, not yet. Josh, you’re going to drive her away with this kind of attitude.”

“She’s leaving soon anyway.” There was no emotion in his tone.

“Why? She’s great for the place. She cooks good food, keeps the house clean. And as you say, she’s easy on the eye. Why get rid of her?”

“She’s nothing like Mom, for one thing.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Brianna’s voice was clearly perplexed.

“If you’re trying to play matchmaker, you should know I don’t think she’d fit in. She’s much more like Jeannie than Mom.”

“She’s nothing like Jeannie. And if you think so, you better take a course in interpersonal skills.”

“Spoken like a true college professor.”

“Ease up on her, Josh. You’re her employer, not her keeper.”

Molly knew she should leave. It was wrong to eavesdrop. Yet she couldn’t move, fascinated by the trend of the conversation. She crept closer until she could see into the room. The hall was dark, maybe no one would notice her standing there.

Jake leaned back in his chair, half turned from her as he watched his wife. Brianna sat on the edge of the desk, leaning over toward her brother. Suddenly Josh stood up and walked to the window, his back to the others.

“I know I’m not her keeper. I just think she should let her father know where she is.”

“You were practically browbeating her about it.”

“I know.”

“You can’t control her actions, ” Brianna said gently.

“I want to.”

“You always want to be in control.”

He hesitated a long time, then turned back to his sister. “If I can be in control, maybe bad things won’t happen.”

Molly stared at him. The silence in the office stretched out for several long moments as Brianna and Jake also stared at Josh.

“You mean, like your mother and father dying in an automobile accident?” Jake asked at last, understanding coming to him before the others.

Josh nodded, his eyes on his sister. “That’s why I told Jake to stay away from you a couple of years ago. I didn’t want you hurt. I wanted to control things so you would always be around and never get hurt.”

“Oh, Josh.” Brianna hopped off the desk and went to her brother, hugging him. “You aren’t God. You can’t determine if accidents will happen or not. You can’t determine who gets hurt and who doesn’t. You can’t change fate.”

Molly slipped away, walking softly so no one would hear her. She tiptoed up the stairs and entered her room, closing the door silently behind her.

She should not have eavesdropped. Sinking on her bed, she closed her eyes, still seeing Josh by the window, explaining why he tried so much to be in total control. He was still reacting to the loss of his parents when he’d been a boy. His desire for control had arisen from the belief if he controlled things, nothing bad would happen.

Her heart melted. And her arms longed to encircle him as Brianna’s had done.

Molly tried to recall all she knew of Josh’s background. Josh’s bossiness resulted from the tragic loss of his parents when he’d been a child. He hoped to avert anything like it again by controlling everything around him. Probably because nothing as devastating had happened since that accident, he thought the technique worked.

Except for Jeannie. Was he even more determined to control things after her?

For a long time she wondered if Josh would always be that way, or if now that he recognized his actions for what they were, he'd ease up a bit.

Molly thought about her father and of the way his life had changed when his wife left. Had he been trying to avert another loss by controlling everything he could, just like Josh? Had that been the reason he wanted to control every aspect of her life? To keep her safe and near him. To keep him from experiencing another loss as he had when his wife had left?

For the first time in months, Molly wanted to talk to her father. She wanted to know if what she suspected was true.

If so, they needed to discover if they could have a normal relationship. If he could accept that by the very fact she was his daughter she would always love him, maybe he could relinquish some of his need for control. Loving him didn’t mean she had to live her life to his whims. Could he change?

It wasn’t late. She could call tonight.

Getting up, she brushed her hair, and raised her chin. Opening her door, she descended the stairs, making a bit more noise than usual to alert those in the office to her presence. But when she reached the door, only Josh sat behind the desk. The Morgans were gone.

He looked up when she walked in, his eyes dark and shadowed. He didn’t speak.

“I thought I'd call my father,” she said, standing near the door.

He nodded and stood. “The phone’s there. I’ll leave so you’ll have some privacy.”

He crossed to the door before she stopped him.

“Josh?”

Turning, he looked at her.

She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to tell him what she’d learned, what she guessed about her father, but that would reveal her eavesdropping and she dare not do that. Finally she shrugged and smiled tentatively.

“I’ll find you when I’m done so you can get back to work.”

He nodded and walked out.

With nervous fingers she dialed the familiar number. When her father answered, Molly took a deep breath. “Hi, Dad, this is Molly.”

Molly slowly replaced the receiver. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, she was startled to discover how much time she and her father had spent on the phone. It had been well worth it. They made tentative steps to close the breach and rediscover the love that existed between them. He'd probably always offer his opinion on what she should do, but at least he had admitted being afraid for her, and wanting to protect her from life’s harsh realities. She hoped she convinced him she had to learn some of the realities on her own. They had made a start.

And she owed it to Josh.

She smiled and stood up. She needed to find him and let him know his office was free. And thank him. He’d think his bossy orders had turned the tide, and she would have to let him think that. She dare not reveal what she’d overheard.

Josh propped his feet on the wooden railing and tilted his chair back. The night became alive with rustling leaves, distant cattle calls and the stomp of the horses in the corral. His sister and her husband had gone for a walk. Molly was calling her father. And he sat alone.

For a moment the loneliness he tried to keep at bay swept through him. He thought back to Jeannie and the life he thought they'd share. Looking back, he saw clearly that she had never promised him to stay on the ranch and help it grow. She'd always been anxious to go into town, to have people visit, to travel. She liked excitement, thrills and fun times. And she'd never done a thing around the house.

Of course, he had Rachel in those days.

Would he have discovered more quickly Jeannie’s lack of staying power if she'd had to do the housework like Molly? If he had insisted they stay home and develop similar interests?

It didn’t matter. She was gone. And he learned a valuable lesson. When he tried the matrimony stakes again, if he ever tried again, he’d look for a country woman, one who liked ranching and cooking and didn’t have different goals.

Like writing books.

He shook his head. He couldn’t deny the attraction between him and Molly. He couldn’t deny he liked being with her, liked her smile, her wide-eyed wonder at every aspect of ranching. But she couldn’t keep her mind on her job for an entire day.

Everything he had that had once been white now looked a peculiar color of green. He knew she’d mixed something up in the wash.

Jase had found Shannon. Brianna had found Jake. That left him without a partner in the only family he had.

“Josh?” Molly peeked out the screen door.

“Finished your call?” How had that gone? “Mend any fences?”

“Yes to both questions.” She came out onto the porch and walked slowly to the column holding up the porch roof. Leaning against it, she stared out across the range.

“I’m sure your father was glad to hear from you,” Josh said, watching her in the faint starlight.

“He was worried about me. Now he’s not. Where did Brianna and Jake go?”

“For a walk.” They had gone off, holding hands, already lost in their own world of love.

Josh shifted restlessly. Watching Molly increased the yearning for his own mate.

Not her, but someone stable and down to earth. Someone like his mother had been.

“You can use your office now. I’m through in there for tonight.”

“Not writing?”

“No.” She glanced over to where he sat as if she wanted to say something. But she remained silent, only turning and walking back into the house without another word.

Josh heard the screen door close and knew she’d gone. He was still alone.

The next morning Molly rose at her regular time and had breakfast well in hand when Brianna joined her.

“I was coming to help,” Brianna said after greeting Molly.

“No need. I’ve got this part down pat. Help yourself to coffee,” Molly said cheerfully.

Things looked a bit better in the daylight. She couldn’t get rid of the ache in her heart about Josh, but she had to look on the bright side. Her relationship with her father promised to be better. Her manuscript was already on its way. She needed to really work on the rest of it while she waited to hear when her last day on the Rafter C would be.

“Josh was lucky to find you. He’s not been real lucky with the housekeepers he’s had since Rachel left,” Brianna said as she slid into an empty seat and sipped the hot coffee.

“Actually, I already have my marching orders. As soon as he finds a replacement, or I get a new job, I’m gone. I’m only hoping I last longer than the four-weeks person. Then I’ll hold the record,” Molly said lightly, belying the ache in her heart.

Brianna slammed down her cup and stared at Molly. “Are you saying Josh doesn’t want you here?”

Molly shook her head, then nodded. “I am saying that, and no, he doesn’t want me here.”

It hurt to say the words, and Molly longed to change the subject.

“He’s certifiably nuts. Why?”

Because I was foolish enough to fall in love with him,
Molly thought. She smiled gamely and shrugged.

“I’m not the world’s best housekeeper. I forget to start the meals, I burn them sometimes. I did his laundry once and forgot to dry it and the next day he didn’t have anything to wear.”

Molly wouldn’t mention the time her green shirt had bled on all his white things. Maybe he had never noticed the light green tinge.

“I haven’t heard a single complaint since I’ve been here,” Brianna said slowly.

“Probably not. For all my faults, I still beat the men having to fend for themselves. Anyway, Josh asked the employment agency for a replacement. As soon as they find one, I’ll leave.”

“I’d go now,” Brianna said darkly. “If he doesn’t like what you are doing, let him do it himself.”