Reclaim My Heart (7 page)
• • •
Lucas pulled open the
screen door and felt as if he’d entered a battle ground.
“Then I’ll call the Slh="m myself!” Zach flung the words at his mother in a bellow.
“You will do no such thing. I mean it, Zachary Whitlock. You are not to—”
“And what are you goin’ to do, Mom? Send me to my room? Take away my CD player? I think I can take it.”
Clamping a firm hand on Zach’s shoulder, Lucas said, “Lower your tone. You shouldn’t talk to your mother that way.”
Gratitude softened Tyne’s blue eyes.
“But you don’t know what she did.” The teen was so upset his voice cracked. “I have grandparents living in Oak Mills. I never knew about them.
She
never told me.” The pronoun was spit out viciously. “For all I know, they don’t know about me, either.” He narrowed his black gaze at his mother. “You’re the most selfish person on the damned planet.”
“Zach,” Lucas warned, “I said stop.”
But the boy didn’t seem to hear, continuing to glare at Tyne. “I’m going to see my grandparents. And I’m
not
going back home with you. I’m staying here.”
Tyne cocked her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t know—”
“I know enough.”
Lucas couldn’t believe Zach’s behavior.
“I know everybody here looks like me. I fit in here. That’s all I have to know. I’m stayin’ and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“You might want to stay,” Lucas told him, “but would they want to have you?”
His son cast him a shocked, side-long glance.
“The Indians of Wikweko want residents to bring value to the community, Zach. How much value will you bring?” Lucas wasn’t expecting an answer. “You disrespect your mother. You disrespect authority. You disrespect the property of others. You’re a trouble maker. What did the judge call you? Ah, yes. I remember now. A delinquent.”
Tyne stepped toward them. “There’s no need to be hurtful, Lucas.”
His bark of humorless laughter was sharp. “He doesn’t seem too worried about hurting your feelings.” He looked at Zach. “A Lenape doesn’t insult his heritage by acting like a little shit. By demanding to have his way. By shouting whatever inane thoughts might float through his pea-brained head. And above all a Lenape respects his elders. I’d say you’ve failed on all counts, Zach.”
The notion hit him that he may have gone too far. However, hearing Zach lash out at Tyne with such insolence had been too much.
The teen was nearly as tall as he was, and for a moment, he thought Zach might slug him with the fist he’d balled up knot-tight. But all Zach did was shrug his shoulder with enough force to free himself of Lucas’s hand.
“What do you know about me?” He sneered, his lips barely moving. “You don’t know me. You don’t know nothin’ about me.”
Lucas should have let it go, but he couldn’t. “The way you’re acting now, I don’t want to.”
The firm, hard line of the teen’s mouth told Lucas he’d hit a raw nerve.
Zach moved to the door, but before leaving he glanced at Tyne. “I’m going to Uncle Jasper’s.” Then he was gone.
The living room felt oddly quiet now that all the shouting had stopped.
“Well,” Lucas said with a forced chuckle, “you have to admit there’s been some improvement. The last time he left angry, he didn’t tell us where he was going. And did you notice? He didn’t slam the door.”
Tyne sat down on the edge of the nearby easy chair. “This isn’t funny, Lucas.”
“I know.” He sat down on the sofa, sliding his palms up and down his thighs. Their knees were mere inches apart and he could feel the heat of her. Damn if she wasn’t gorgeous when her eyes were lit with anger. “I was only t SI h="rying to make you smile. Lighten the tension a little.”
“Oh, god, it was awful, wasn’t it?” She smoothed her palms together absently. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe there for a few minutes. I think I should find a counselor. Someone to help him deal with his anger.”
Lucas nodded. “He does need to learn to control his tongue.”
Her hands fell limp in her lap. “I want you to know he’s never acted like this before. Never treated me like this, I mean.”
Something outside the picture window drew her gaze and he took the opportunity to study the delicate curve of her jaw.
“We were close, he and I,” she said softly. “It’s only natural that we would be, I guess. All we had was each other, really.” Her gaze met his. “I told you before that things seemed to change a couple of years ago, and I put it down to teenage hormones. But he’s never been disrespectful, Lucas. Not like this.”
“I believe you.” A faint citrus scent drifted on the air and he realized it was coming from her skin or her hair. “If this behavior, this belligerence, is something new, I’d say you caught it early. Maybe a counselor would be a good idea.”
Tyne nodded, but although she was looking at him, he got the distinct impression that she was miles away in thought. He noticed the navy flecks in her pensive blue eyes. She blinked a couple of times, and he knew immediately she was once again focused on the present.
“I don’t dare take him to see them,” she whispered.
Tyne didn’t have to identify
them
, he knew of whom she spoke.
“I don’t want to see them.” Her voice grew stronger. “And I sure don’t want them anywhere near Zach.”
When Lucas told Tyne that they should focus their efforts on Zach, he’d meant every word he’d said. The past had a way of tangling everything in knots. Questions about the events that had taken place when they’d been teens had driven him nuts, but he’d done his best to follow the plan, focusing on the problems at hand, the problems in the present. Until now.
“How did all this happen, Tyne?
What
happened?” he asked. “How did you end up on your own? Raising Zach alone?”
Her whole body seemed to wilt and she closed her eyes. “They were so disappointed. I had just started my first semester—”
She’d been accepted into Millersville University while Lucas had been forced to work for a couple of years and save up funds for college.
“—and I showed up one day and announced, ‘Hey, Mom and Dad, I’m pregnant.’” She pressed her fingertips to her mouth and shook her head. “They had such dreams for me, Lucas.”
As the only child of the Whitlocks, Tyne was destined to shine, even if her parents had to hold her down and apply the shellac themselves. When they’d been dating, Lucas would listen as Tyne lamented all the favors her father had called in from his cronies just for her. Tedious obligations as she saw them. To an Indian living hand to mouth they’d have been huge breaks, golden opportunities, and he couldn’t deny the slight pang of jealousy he’d felt. But he hadn’t let envy keep him from encouraging her to take advantage of anything her father could offer. As a teen contemplating their futures, he’d come to the conclusion that hers had seemed as bright as the sun next to his flimsy flashlight.
“And they were determined,” she continued, “that their dreams for me would come true.” She sighed. “They insisted on an abortion. I flat out refused. They badgered me with their reasons; I was too young, I had my whole life ahead of me, a baby would destroy my chances to get an education. They were distraught and disillusioned. And, hell, so was I. They wouldn’t leave me alone for two minutes, afraid that I’d contact you Sd cistraug—which they had forbidden me to do. They threatened me with everything they could think of.”
Tears glistened in her eyes and she glanced away; his heart wrenched.
“They were right, Lucas. I was too young. I couldn’t imagine having a baby. I was a
teenager
.”
He noticed that she’d laced her fingers tightly in her lap.
“Then they suggested adoption.” Her gaze remained fixed on the spot somewhere in the far corner of the room. “And I finally came to the conclusion that maybe they were probably right.”
Her anguish was almost palpable. “Tyne—”
She cut him off with a shake of her head. “Let me finish. I need to tell you.” She pressed the curled fingers of one hand to her chin. “I went to my aunt’s in Florida for the duration of my pregnancy. By summer, I’d changed my mind all over again. I’d fallen in love with my child even though I hadn’t set eyes on him yet. I couldn’t give him up.” Her hand lowered to her lap. “My parents were livid. They called me every day, arguing and pestering me. But I was adamant.
“I didn’t go back to school,” she said. “As a last resort, my mother begged me to come home. She said she would watch Zach while I attended classes.” Tyne’s mouth flattened momentarily. “But I wasn’t going to do that. I wanted to break free. Make my own way. And I did. Well, mostly, anyway. They did help me, at first. Sent me a little money, and paid for a couple of Zach’s doctor visits. But only for a while. I was determined to become independent.” She lifted her gaze to Lucas’s face. “I made the right choice, didn’t I? Not going home? I couldn’t subject Zach to that, you know? To
them
.” She moistened her lips and swallowed.
He wanted to tell her she’d done the right thing keeping Zach away from his grandparents, but instead he said, “I wish you would have called me.”
She moved then, shifted from the easy chair to the couch, sitting close to him and gathering one of his hands into both of hers.
“I know I should have, Lucas.” Her blue eyes pleaded. “I should have contacted you. I should have told you about the baby. You had a right to know. But I couldn’t.”
His blood froze. That wasn’t what he’d meant…wasn’t what he’d expected to hear. She didn’t know. How the hell could she not know?
“That last time we were together you’d been so excited to have saved enough money for your first year’s tuition. Then my father told me you’d been offered a full scholarship. I knew you must have been deliriously happy.” She bit her bottom lip, her brow furrowing. “He said a baby would ruin your future just as much as it would mine. Dad wasn’t right about much in this whole situation, but I believed with all my heart that he was right about that.” She closed her eyes a moment. “After I’d decided to keep Zach, I was too ashamed to call you. I couldn’t admit to you that I’d considered giving up our son.”
She leaned in and hugged him then, resting her head on his shoulder. “I hope you can forgive me, Lucas.”
He hadn’t prayed in a very long time, but at that moment he thanked The Great One that she wasn’t looking at him because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that guilt was etched in every crevice of his stony expression.
H
er arms drew him tighter to her, and he smoothed his hands up her back, her skin hot against his cold palms, his icicle-stiff fingers.
“What am I going to do?” Her breath was warm against his neck. “I’ve got to keep Zach away from my parents. How will I ever explain it to him, Lucas? He’ll never understand. How can I tell my son that his grandfather is a bigot?”
CHAPTER NINE
A
loud crack ruptured
the air as the bat made solid contact with the ball. The crowd on one side of the field cheered for the batter who raced toward first base while the people on the opposite side shouted at the short stop to throw the ball to the first baseman. Tyne loved the fact that the teams were co-ed. Everyone who wanted to play was invited. Boys and girls in a wide range of ages from tweens to teens, some even in their early twenties, had arrived late that Friday afternoon at the ball field.
Some of the players’ families had turned up with lawn chairs, blankets to spread on the grass, picnic meals and drinks or snacks to share. A wonderful camaraderie danced among the laughing, chatting spectators, proof that the Friday ballgame was a popular community event.
Zach was barely speaking to her and Lucas. He’d spent another whole day with Jasper, but he’d come home for something to eat before the game. The air was tense as the two of them sat at the table together, and Tyne had been relieved that her son hadn’t brought up the subject of her parents. When she asked him where he was going and found out he was off to the Community Center for ‘the big game,’ she’d expressed an interest in coming along to watch. He’d shrugged and told her it was a free country. So after he left, she’d slathered on some sunscreen, grabbed her sunglasses and an aluminum lawn chair from the shed in the back yard and walked to the sports field behind the community building.
“And where’s my nephew?”
Tyne smiled a hello at Jasper as he unfolded his chair and nestled it next to hers. “Lucas is meeting with a man who lives here. The guy called yesterday looking for some legal advice, so Lucas went to his house today after lunch.”
Jasper nodded his approval.
“I’m surprised he wasn’t back before I left the house.” Tyne adjusted her sunglasses. “I texted him, and when he didn’t respond, I left a note at the house. Just in case there’s something wrong with his cell. I’m hoping he’ll show up here. Eventually.”
“I’m sure he’ll be along. Who wants to miss the big game?” Jasper scanned the field. “I wasn’t able to close my shop until five-thirty, and then I had to return a few phone calls and grab some dinner. What did I miss?”
“Not much. Bottom of the first. Zach is out in left field.”
He gazed toward the outfield and lifted his hand to acknowledge Zach’s wave.
“I want to thank you for spending so much time with him,” Tyne said.
“No thanks necessary. He’s family.”
She brushed the toe of her sandal across the grass. “We’ve been having some…problems lately. Zach and I.”
Jasper watched the young man who stepped up to the plate. “I know.”
His reply surprised her. “He’s told you?”
He shook his head. “Not outright. He’s keeping secrets; an old man can see these things. I can also tell from what he has said that he’s upset about something. Angry. Bitter, really. And worried.” Jasper shrugged. “About something.”
The smoke from a charcoal grill wafted toward them, carrying with it the scent of grilling hot dogs.
When she didn’t speak, he continued, his eye riveted to the batter who now had a strike against him, “I want to tell you that I like Zach. I like him a lot. He reminds me of Lucas when he was young. He’s smart, and he’s inquisitive. Those are fine traits for a young man to have.”
A lump gathered in her throat and tears sprang to her eyes, and she was suddenly very grateful for the cover of her sunglasses. Her heart swelled hearing Jasper voice a positive opinion about Zach. She’d been sick with worry. She knew somewhere inside her son lurked the happy, considerate [ coch.individual she’d raised, but she was at a loss about how to bring that out in him again.
Jasper went quiet when the batter hit a fly ball into left field. His hoot was unrestrained and he clapped when Zach caught it and clinched the third out. A buzz of conversation stirred through the spectators as the teams switched places.
Giving Zach a thumb’s up, Tyne tried not to be bothered when her son refused to acknowledge her. She crossed one leg over the other and sighed.
“I have noticed,” Jasper said, “that Zach has—at the risk of using the current psychobabble of the day—some issues. He can be moody. He’s got a temper, and a penchant to blame others when things go wrong.”
Tyne fixed her gaze on the field, watching the opposing players take their positions. “You learned all that in the short time you’ve spent with him?”
Jasper chuckled. “You forget. I raised his father.”
Tyne smiled.
Then he leaned toward her. “I haven’t mentioned this to Zach; I wanted to ask you first. Would you allow me to take him camping? It would give us a chance to spend a few days together, one on one. I’ll teach him to pitch a tent and build a proper fire. We’ll do a little fishing, a little hunting, a little cooking on an open fire. And we’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
“Hunting? Oh, I don’t know, Jasper.” The idea of killing an animal made Tyne shiver. “We buy our chicken cutlets and ground beef at the local Acme. I don’t know if Zach could handle something like that.” And she wasn’t sure she wanted him to.
“It’s the middle of summer,” he reminded her with a gentle smile. “We might have special permission from the State to hunt on our own land year round, but game is scarce in the heat. The animals tend to move up into the mountains where it’s cooler.” His grin made his chocolate brown eyes twinkle. “I’ll remember to pack a loaf of bread and a large jar of peanut butter. The truth is, Tyne, we will be hunting, but not for game. We’re going to find Zach’s manhood.”
She just looked at him, uncertain what to say, and again her eyes welled. Her voice came out wobbly when she finally said, “I’d love for you to take him camping, Jasper. I trust you completely. I can only hope and pray that the hunt is successful. And I want you to know that I’ll be grateful for anything you’re able to do for him.” She frowned, then. “There are some things you should know—” she glanced over to the bench where her son and his teammates were seated, Zach’s broad back facing her. Then she looked at Jasper “—some things I should probably tell you.”
He lifted his calloused palm. “Zach will tell me whatever I need to know.”
An absolute assurance exuded from him, and she was pervaded with a strange and wondrous tranquility.
Jasper’s gaze lifted to somewhere behind her. “Lucas is here.” He lifted a hand in greeting.
Tyne turned too late to see if Lucas returned his uncle’s wave. He made no move to join them.
“Excuse me,” she murmured to Jasper. “I’m going to go say hello.”
Passing the batter’s box, she saw Zach was choosing a bat from among several that leaned up against the chain link backstop.
“Smack one out of the park,” she called. He didn’t lift his head. In fact, he made no reaction whatsoever. She wasn’t really surprised.
She smiled at Lucas when she reached him. “You got my text? I’m glad.” Since he’d walked in on her and Zach’s quarrel and she’d ended up telling him about the past, she’d experienced a sort of buoyancy, as though sharing her burden had somehow lightened it.
“Sorry it took me so long. Jim and I caught up a bit.”
“You want to come sit down?” she aske [?.
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather stand. I’ve been sitting all afternoon.”
“That’s fine.” She smoothed her hands over the sun-warmed skin of her forearms. “Were you able to help him? Your friend?”
“I was.” He nodded. “A communications company wants to install a tower on a corner of Jim’s property and he needed some help deciphering some of the legal jargon in the contract.” He smiled. “He wanted to pay me, and when I refused his money, he made me take a pack of New York strip steaks. ‘A fair barter,’ he called it.”
“Steaks for legal advice.” She licked her lips animatedly and touched her tummy. “Yum!”
They both went quiet when Zach stepped up to the plate. He gave the bat a couple of practice swings, then settled into a tense stance. The ball sailed across home plate, Zach swung late, and the ball slapped into the catcher’s mitt.
Lucas shouted, “It’s okay, Zach. Relax. Plant your front foot.”
“The next one’s yours, Zach,” Jasper called out.
The pitcher threw the ball, and again Zach swung just a fraction too late.
Tyne pressed her hand to her stomach, sucking in a breath with a hiss. “Strike two,” she whispered.
Cupping his hands around his mouth, Lucas yelled, “Plant your front foot, son!”
Zach’s attention wavered from the pitcher, his gaze swinging to Lucas. Tyne knew exactly what had taken her son aback. If Lucas realized what he’d done, he didn’t show it. He was frantically pointing at the pitcher, an appeal for Zach to keep his head in the game.
This time, Zach swung the bat with perfect timing, his front foot firmly nailed to the ground. A satisfying
smack
resounded. He dropped the bat and raced toward first base. The crowd cheered and Tyne jumped up and down until her son safely reached the base.
“Jeez,” she muttered to Lucas. “This anxiety is enough to give me ulcers.”
“Tell me about it.” Lucas grinned and shook his head. “The way he kept looking at me rather than the pitcher, I was afraid he was going to give them an easy out.”
“He was startled.” When Lucas still didn’t seem to understand, she explained, “You called him son.”
He frowned, then his brows arched. “I did, didn’t I? You don’t think I upset him, do you?”
“Don’t worry.” She reached out and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. “I think he’s been waiting for it, actually.”
The next batter hit a fly pop, and Lucas shouted for Zach to wait. The outfielder missed the catch, and Lucas and everyone else yelled for Zach to run. Tyne’s heart pounded and she let out a breath when both runners safely made it to their bases.
“Lucas, Jasper wants to take Zach camping. I told him it would be okay.” She looked at him, took in the curve of his ear, the corded muscles of his neck. “He said something about helping him become a man. Do you, um—” she slid off her sunglasses and squinted up at him “—do you think it’s okay that Zach goes?”
For an instant, she regretted the question. She slipped her sunglasses back onto her face and turned her gaze back to the ball field. Asking anyone’s opinion about anything when it came to Zach felt foreign to her. She made all the decisions herself, had done so for fifteen long years. What would she do or say if he disagreed with her?
Luckily, though, he grinned.
“I think it’s great. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself. There’s definitely no need for an anger management counselor when we have a Lenape elder around.” He chuckled. “Uncle Jasper and I went hunting for my manhood many times before we found it.” Memories had his mouth twisting wryly. “Trouble is, no one told me what [toluntinwe were hunting. The hardest part for Zach is going to be figuring that out. And he might not, the first time out.”
Tyne watched as the batter bunted and ran toward first. Zach advanced to third, but the batter was tagged out by the first baseman.
She wanted to ask if she should be worried, but she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she murmured, “He’s never been camping.”
Lucas turned to face her then, and ever so gently he reached up and slid her sunglasses down her nose just enough so that he could look directly into her eyes. “Zach’ll be perfectly safe.” He paused a heartbeat before adding, “But he won’t come home the same person.”
The mild alarm that shot through her must have registered on her face, if only for an instant, because he placed his hands on her shoulders. “It’s okay. It’ll be a good thing, Tyne. You’ll see.” He turned back to the game, leaning his forearms on the top of the fence. “Jasper will work him hard, and talk to him a lot. There will be a lot of stories. Fables or parables, I guess you’d call them. Cryptic tales that are often difficult to understand but always have a lesson attached. Stories meant to make him think. This won’t be like any other experience Zach has had, I’m sure.”
She pushed her sunglasses back into place and settled next to him, resting her forearms on the fence too. They watched as the next batter struck out and the teams switched positions on the ball field again. Her son kicked the dirt, miffed that he wasn’t given the opportunity to score.
“First off,” Lucas said softly, “Jasper will have Zach collect enough dry, dead wood to feed a fire for a month. Then my uncle will have him cut it into uniform size. Zach will swing an ax until his biceps quiver. Then when it’s time to cook dinner, Jasper will realize he’s forgotten the matches at home. So Zach will spend an hour trying to light kindling with flint and steel. Have you ever done that?” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “When Zach is so frustrated he’s about to scream, Jasper will conveniently remember he has a piece of charred cloth in the tinder box, and they’ll start a fire like magic. Making charred cloth is a lesson he’ll learn another day.” Lucas toed a clump of weeds at the foot of the fence.
“Zach will eat the trout he’s caught and cleaned and cooked on a fire he started himself, and he’ll fall asleep feeling proud as hell that he did it all on his own. Jasper has a real knack for making a boy feel as if he’s accomplished something great. And Zach will sleep like a baby because he’ll be more exhausted than he’s ever been in his life.” Lucas chuckled. “And he’ll never realize he’s been played like a tune by his great uncle.”
They were so close, the sleeve of Lucas’s shirt tickled Tyne’s bare shoulder. “Sounds like you’ve been played.” She grinned.
He nodded. “Like one of those soulful country songs.” The soft laughter they shared ended with a warm smile.
They watched the game for a few minutes, then Tyne smoothed her fingertips over the cool metal fencepost. “What have you decided? About your mother?”
He’d confided all that Jasper had told him about Ruth Yoder. She’d been astonished to learn that his mother hadn’t died as he’d remembered being told.
“I don’t know,” he said, heaving a sigh. “I’ve thought about little else. I feel like I don’t have a choice, really. I have to at least try to find her.” He turned his head to look at her. “Don’t I?”