Reclaimed Love: Banished Saga, Book Two (34 page)

He turned his head toward me, welcoming me with a faint smile. He was propped on a pile of pillows, his upper body covered in a long- sleeved blue cotton shirt. He lay under a white sheet that was pulled up to midchest. “No, Miss Sullivan. I’m not going anywhere.”

I bit back a smile but couldn’t prevent the humor in my eyes. “I always thought you’d be a bit of a rascal from what Gabriel wrote about you in his letters.” I entered the room, moving around the confining space. “May I open a window? There’s a lovely breeze today.” At his nod, I pushed on one of the windows by the washstand, but it refused to budge.

“That’s why it’s not open,” Ronan said. “The nurse isn’t much bigger than you, and she couldn’t get it open either.”

“Well, let’s try again,” I said. I put my shoulder into pressing on the window frame, and the window flew open. It opened with such a start that I found myself half dangling out the opened window. I screeched in dismay and then with laughter, as I pulled myself back into the room.

After collapsing into the only free chair in the room at the foot of the bed near the corner of the room, I tried to quell my giggling. “That was more of an adventure than I had bargained for.”

“I can see how you leveled that ladder on poor Gabe when you first met,” Ronan said.

I flushed at his words.

“You are not grace personified, Miss Sullivan.”

“No, and I never will be. But the window’s open, and the breeze is welcome,” I said with a triumphant tilt to my head.

“No wonder Gabriel insisted on waiting for you,” Ronan said with a half smile. “No matter how hard I tried to lead him down the road to … well, a road well traveled, he refused.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I gave him one of my best schoolteacher looks. “I’m sure you were a hellion in Butte.”

“The only way to be in such a city.” He looked toward his legs and grimaced. “Until … until the accident that is.”

“You are still an attractive man, Mr. O’Bara. You don’t have to consign yourself to living your life confined to a bed.”

“What would you have me do, Miss Sullivan? I can’t move about. I can’t make my living as a miner. I can’t help my friend’s widow. I can’t do anything for myself.”

“I’d do what Gabriel said to me once. Stop focusing on what you can’t do and focus on what you can.” I watched as he huffed out an irritated breath. “Forgive me, Mr. O’Bara. I didn’t come here to argue with you.”

“I know you didn’t, Miss Sullivan. I’m thankful for the company.”

“Do you read?” I asked and then flushed at the question.

“I do, yes.”

“If you tell me what you like, I can bring you books from the depository.”

“That’s very kind of you. Thank you.”

I rose and wandered his small room. I moved from the chair in the corner to his bureau in three steps and then back again. “Why did Gabriel rent a room for you on the second floor?”

“It’s the most affordable room he could find.”

“Would you object to moving?” At the shake of his head, I paced a few more times and then sat again. “If you were on the first floor, you’d have more of an opportunity to go outside.”

“In what? I can’t walk, Miss Sullivan. I am confined to this bed.”

“Hmm … we’ll think of something.”

“You’re like him, you know,” Ronan said. At my inquisitive stare, he said, “You seem like someone who’s trying to fix things and make things right. Just like Gabe.”

I smiled my agreement.

“Some things can’t be made right, Miss Sullivan. Sometimes things can be so awful that there’s no way to right the damage that’s been done.”

I paled at his words. “Surely you don’t mean that,” I whispered.

He tilted his head to one side as he studied me. “Who hurt you?”

I shook my head with too much force. “No one. It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing when you are keeping at arm’s length the man you traveled thousands of miles to see.”

My eyes flashed as I met his gaze. “Is that what you do together? Gossip?”

“I have little else to offer Gabe but my advice. And you seem to be running him ragged with worry.”

My expression softened as I registered his words. “I’m sure all will be settled soon.”

“Is that one of those things you believe that, if you tell yourself the lie often enough, it will come true?”

“I traveled all this way to be with Gabriel. I will be with him.”

“Then you need to trust him, Miss Sullivan. With whatever haunts you.”

I rose to stand in front of the opened window. “You know what fear is Mr. O’Bara. You know what it is to live, every day, with a different future than the one you’d planned.”

“Yes.”

“So do I. And coming to terms with my new reality has been difficult.”

“Are you saying you don’t want Gabe?”

“Never.” I spun to face him. “Never. I’ve always wanted to be with Gabriel. I just hadn’t imagined it would be here. In Montana. As I am now.”

He pushed himself up with his fists to sit higher in the bed. “Well, he’s never been happier to have you here. In Montana. As you are now. Never doubt that man’s love for you, Miss Sullivan.”

I nodded as I again turned toward the window, tracing the checkered curtain with my fingertips. “He’s following me, you know.”

“Who?”

“The man in Boston who wanted to marry me. Cameron Wright. He followed me to Butte. I don’t know when he’ll arrive in Missoula.”

“What will happen when he does arrive?”

“He’ll claim I’m his. That I broke a betrothal with him.”

“Did you?”

“No. I never betrothed myself to him again. Not since he failed to show on our wedding day three years ago. But there are those who will believe his tale. And I worry…” I took a deep breath. “I worry Gabriel will believe he would do better to marry someone such as the widow, Mrs. Egan.”

“Why would you believe that?”

“She can cook. Knows how to run a proper house. She can most likely starch his shirts just right without making his collar itch. All the things I wouldn’t know the first thing about.” I sighed as I stared at my clenched hands. “I’m rather useless with the domestic arts.”

I turned to study him again. “I can see why Gabriel comes to talk with you. I had no intention of speaking with you about anything remotely personal, and, yet, here I am. Discussing all this with you. You have a soothing presence.”

“Ah, yes, the soothing crippled confessor,” Ronan said with bitterness.

“Don’t speak of yourself thus,” I chided. “There’ll be something for you to do yet. You have friends, Mr. O’Bara, and we’ll think of something.” I walked toward him and clasped his hand. “And never discount the power of truly listening to another’s fears.”

I gripped his hand once more before releasing it. “Now, I must be off to the depository. Mr. Pickens will be looking for me. I’ll come by with some books for you,” I said.

“Thank you, Miss Sullivan. Remember, Gabe’s one of my best friends, and he’s stood by me through everything. Tell him about that man following you. I would hate for him to hear about it from someone other than you.”

I paled as I nodded. “Thank you, Mr. O’Bara.”

“It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

***

“RISSA!” I TURNED TO SEE Gabriel approaching. “Where are you coming from?” He looked up and down Pine Street, noting I was blocks away from the center of town and the apartment I shared with Colin. In a few long strides he stood in front of me, towering over me. My long indigo skirts brushed against his black pants as he faced me. The gentle breeze ruffled his black hair, making strands of it stand on end.

“I went to visit Ronan. I thought he might like some company before I headed into work.”

“That was very kind of you. Thank you for visiting with him.” He reached out to stroke my hair, but I leaned away from his touch. He dropped his hand, his fingers near mine. He flexed them, the tips of his fingers brushing against the tips of mine. I stilled at the contact before I moved my fingers toward his and clasped his hand.

“He’s a nice man,” I murmured in a husky voice.

“Yes, although he’s suffering, living the way he is.”

“Thanks to you,” I said.

Gabriel reared back as though I had struck him.

“What could you be thinking, having a crippled man living on the second floor? He should live on the ground floor so he would have the opportunity to move about more.”

“I know, Rissa,” Gabriel said. He released my hand and moved a pace away from me. He rubbed his hands through his hair, tousling it further. “It’s the only way I could think of to make the money he has last the longest.”

“He’s a capable man. He can work if he’s not spending his days bemoaning his life, lying in a bed.”

Gabriel nodded his agreement. “I know, Rissa. I’m trying to think of something that should help him. If you have any ideas, other than belittling the help I’ve already given my injured friend, I’d welcome them.”

I blushed at his gentle, yet forceful, chastisement.

“As for you, let me walk you to the depository.” He offered me his arm, and I slipped my arm through his. “What else did you talk about with Ronan?”

I stopped our slow progression down the boardwalk, thankful there were few mingling during the midmorning lull. “Gabriel, I have to tell you something. I don’t want it to influence you in any way.”

“Are you sure this is the place to speak of it?” he murmured as he looked around the boardwalk.

I took a deep breath as I gripped his arm tightly and garnered all my strength. “Gabriel, Cameron followed me to Butte.”

“He what? Why?”

“He wants to marry me. I don’t know when he’ll realize I’m in Missoula.”

Gabriel had bowed his head over mine, and I felt cocooned as though in his embrace. My body remembered his presence—his musky, masculine smell so different from Cameron’s—and I relaxed as I leaned toward him. We jerked away from each other at a loud, imperious voice.

“Mr. McLeod!” Loud footsteps and a portly woman stood in front of us. She gripped a large basket in one hand, the other she propped on her protruding hips. The crimson blue of her satin walking dress highlighted her size rather than diminished it.

“Mrs. Vaughan,” Gabriel said. “Always a pleasure to see you.”

“I would have thought you would be at the library by now, Miss Sullivan.”

“I was on my way there.”

“When I met you yesterday, I thought you had more sense than to cavort with men of the town.”

“I hope to someday merit such gossip,” Gabriel said with a wry smile. “I’ve yet to be considered a cavorting sort of gentleman. However, I know Miss Sullivan from Boston and wanted to speak with her of common acquaintances as I escorted her to the depository.”

“Miss Sullivan, my sister and I expect great things of you. You have the future of our library in your young hands.”

I nodded as I fought a smile. “Of course, Mrs. Vaughan. It’s why I’m so thankful to have Mr. Pickens’s guidance.” I bit my lip as she sputtered at the mention of Mr. Pickens.

“If you will excuse us, Mrs. Vaughan, we don’t want your charge to be any later than she already is,” Gabriel said. He nodded toward her and I walked beside him, arm in arm.

“Clarissa, now is not the time to speak of it. Yet we must speak of Cameron.”

“There’s nothing more to discuss, Gabriel. I only wanted you to know that he maintains an interest in me. He may arrive at any time in Missoula.”

“You must know such news is unwelcome,” Gabriel murmured.

“I know no such thing, Gabriel.” I turned to him as I reached the depository. “Thank you for the walk. I hope you have a good day.”

“Rissa! You can’t mean that.” He gripped my arms, forcing me to face him.

I paled as I thought through my words. “Gabriel—”

“Hello there, missy. ’Bout time you showed up for work.”

I glanced up to see Mr. Pickens watching me from the open window at the front of the depository. Gabriel released me, and I stepped away from him.

“I must go to work. I can’t lose my job. I’ll see you soon.” As I opened the door to the stairs leading to the depository, I glanced over my shoulder to find Gabriel watching me with a deep intensity.

CHAPTER 36

“CLARISSA, CAN’T YOU TELL ME what is wrong? It seems like so much has changed, and yet what is important hasn’t.” Gabriel stood, studying me from across the small living room in the apartment Colin and I had found on Pine Street. It had two bedrooms, dilapidated yet comfortable furniture and was perfect for our needs. Gabriel had come to see me because I had not seen him since we had spoken on the boardwalk a few days ago.

I moved away from him. The comfort I had felt with him the night of Amelia’s dinner and the morning afterward had disappeared as readily as an early dawn mist exposed to bright sun. “What do you mean?” At his quizzical stare I asked, “What hasn’t changed?”

“I still love you.”

“How do you know that? You haven’t seen me in nearly a year.”

“If you are at all like the woman I left in August last year, you are the woman I love.”

“What if I am not? What if…”He moved toward me, and I braced myself.

“Clarissa, you are. You traveled all the way here to me, fulfilling my dreams that we would be together, here in this marvelous place,” Gabriel said, a touch of wonder in his voice, his eyes lit with a deep happiness. He traced the edge of my hairline, his gentle touch a balm. “Though you somehow don’t see it, you’re the brave, intelligent, beautiful woman I have always wanted.”

“If you truly believed that, the entire time you were separated from me, why did you wait so long to ask me to join you? Why, Gabriel?”

He paled as he watched tears course down my cheeks. “I was afraid you’d say no. That a life outside of Boston, away from your family, would be unimaginable to you.”

“Did I ever give you a reason to doubt me?”

“No, never.” He closed his eyes and whispered, “It was my own cowardice. I could only envision a life with you. If you wrote, refusing to join me, I don’t know what would’ve become of me.”

“Gabriel,” I gasped out, my throat closing up as I fought tears.

“Is this why you are so angry with me? Because I didn’t ask you out here sooner?” His smile faded as I pulled away from him. He tipped up my face to his, forcing me to meet his now troubled eyes. “Why won’t you be honest with me, darling?”