Red Clover (21 page)

“Shaneta, this conversation we’re having right now, you and me—you could combine all the conversations I’ve had with my parents over the years and they wouldn’t amount to this one in terms of honesty.”

Shaneta’s expression turned serious. Lee got the feeling she was uncomfortable all of a sudden.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’.” She got up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve got work to do, Mista Lee.

“Shaneta, something’s wrong. Is it something I said?”

“No, sir.”

“Please sit back down. Please?”

Shaneta sat.

“Something is bothering you. I can tell. Do you want talk about it?”

“No.”

“You might feel better.”

She shook her head. “No, I won’t.” She got up again to leave, and this time Lee let her go. Ten minutes later, she returned.

“I have no business tellin’ you this.”

“Telling me what?”

“I know better than to butt into someone else’s business.”

“Shaneta, you can tell me anything.”

“I could get fired over tellin’ you this.”

“Shaneta, what is it?”

“I’m only tellin’ you this because...well, I’m thinkin’ if I were in your boots, I would want to know. But I need this job, and...”

“I will not repeat what you’re about to tell me. I promise.”

“Cross your heart and hope to die?”

“What?”

“Nothin’. It’s just an expression.” She sat down and smoothed out the crisp white apron she always wore. “After Mista and Mrs. Winekoop came in the house, right before the water balloons...well, I overheard them talkin’. I wasn’t eavesdroppin’ or anything. I never do that. But, you know, when you've got things to do...well... I shouldn’t be tellin’ you this.”

“Look, if it’s going to make you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t tell me.”

Shaneta stared at him for several seconds. “No, I would want to know. Lee, your father threatened to have you disowned.”

“Disowned?”

“There’s more. Oh, my. This should be comin’ from your parents, Mista Lee.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “May the lawd take mi life if I’m doin’ the wrong thing.”

The bile rose up into Lee’s throat.

“Lee, your father...he’s not who you think he is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s not your real father.” She clasped her hand over her mouth. “Now I’ve said it.”

“Not my real father?”

“No.”

“So who is he?”

“I shouldn’t be the one tellin’ you this.”

“Shaneta, if you say that one more time...”

“I know, but it’s so true.”

“Are you going to continue?”

“Lee, your real father...your real father was your Uncle Nelson.”

19 | Disowned

Had he understood her correctly? Even if he had been able to speak after hearing Shaneta utter those few earthshaking words, he wouldn’t have known what to say.

He tried to form a mental image of his uncle, but all he could remember was that he had been tall, not fat or thin, and maybe had a receding hairline.

“I’m sorry, Lee, to be the one to tell you this. It’s just that—”

“And my mother?”

Shaneta shook her head. “From what I heard, she was someone who he had...well, relations with, someone who left you on your father’s doorstep, so to speak.”

“What? Who would do that?”

“I shouldn’t say.”

“Shaneta, you’ve told me this much. What could be any worse?”

“Mista Winekoop refers to her as ‘his whore.’”

“Who’s whore?”

“Uncle Nelson’s.”

“Are you sure you know what you’re talking about? This is preposterous.”

“You can’t be a devoted servant to people and not know their business. Believe me, I know everything. Every thing.”

This must be a dream. I want to wake up. Now
.

“Okay, so how did I end up with…” All of a sudden, he didn’t know what to call his parents. “Them.”

“That was your mother’s doing. She wanted you to have a good home, a decent upbringing.”

“Uncle Nelson. I never knew him.”

“I know. I’m sure that was deliberate on everyone’s part.”

“Everyone’s? Do my brothers know?”

Shaneta acknowledged what he feared with a slight nod.

“What?”

“Lee, please don’t hate me for tellin’ you this.”

“
Everyone
knows?” He tried to remember what she had said last. Something about hating her. “Hate you? No, I don’t hate you.” He took a deep breath.

Shaneta appeared as though she might burst at any moment. He reached out for her hand.

“Look, if this is all true, it appears you are the first person in my life who has ever been honest with me. How could I possibly hate you?” He rose up and stood in front of her. “Come here.”

They hugged for a long moment, and when they separated, he said, “No, I don’t hate you. You, my dear Shaneta, may very well be my savior.”

“If they ever find out I told you, well...”

“Shaneta, if they ever find out, and they certainly won’t hear it from me, you don’t have to worry about a thing. I’ll have your back. And that goes both ways. You’re never to tell anyone you told me.”

She took a couple of steps back. “Well, as mi son would say, ‘Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.’”

“I’ll take that to mean you agree.”

After Shaneta left for the day, Lee poured himself a glass of Scotch, went outside to the back patio, and reclined in one of the chaise lounges. The first gulp of alcohol hit the back of his throat hard and roared through his chest like thunder before settling in his stomach.

His life now began to make sense: The secrecy of the terms of his inheritance and the fact that Uncle Nelson had left more to him than to his brothers. His brothers. They weren't really his brothers after all. His sisters-in-law and their children...did they all know?

Shaneta knew, so all the other staff must know as well.

Was I the only one who didn’t know?

And his mother—his real mother, the person his father referred to as “Uncle Nelson’s whore”—had she been a prostitute? Or was that merely his word for someone who’d had a child out of wedlock? Having sex with someone outside of marriage was the most contemptuous of sins in his father’s eyes.

No wonder he had no use for me. I was the product of someone’s immorality.

Learning from an outsider about what was arguably the most fundamental aspect of his identity was in some ways more unsettling than the news itself. And even more humiliating was that by this time, he really should have figured it out for himself.

What did “disowned” mean? Certainly out of their will, at the very least. And probably out of their house before long. And their lives. He made a mental note to call Earl on Monday to get an estimated finish date on his house. At least he had that to his name.

A cardinal began to sing a tune from high up in a nearby willow tree, a song that started out sad, but by the time the bird finished the melody, sounded quite cheerful. As Lee contemplated the potential loss of his family, he thought of how he envied the bird’s ability to nonchalantly change his tune and then just fly away.

Hours later, having spent a restless night in bed reliving Shaneta’s revelation, Lee stared at the alarm clock until the numbers came into focus—four A.M. What a day. One minute he had been tossing a water-filled balloon to his best friend, CJ, having more fun than he’d ever had in his life, and the next minute he was being told by the family cook, of all people, that his parents weren’t his real parents and were talking about disowning him. Even the many seasoned psychologists he’d seen in his short life would have been taken aback with this one.

What disturbed him most was the betrayal by everyone in his family—his so-called parents, his real father, and while he had never had much of a relationship with them, even his brothers. But then, maybe his brothers hadn’t felt any obligation to tell him. After all, he was nothing but some poor bastard their mother had apparently felt compelled to take in.

He pictured Henry throwing a fit when his wife wanted to bring a third child into their family. They already had two perfect sons, a ten-year-old and a twelve-year-old. An ideal household. Shangri-la.

He thought about Uncle Nelson, his real father. Who was he? How dare he disregard his own son? His mother talked about him as though he was a close, loving family member, yet he had never come to any family functions. She had talked about him as though she was in constant contact with him, yet Lee couldn’t remember them doing things together or even talking on the phone. He wondered if they had ever talked about him or if that had been considered taboo.

Uncle Nelson’s last name was Sedgwick, indicating he was his mother’s father’s brother. Lee’s grandparents had died before Lee was born, so he wasn’t able to make any connection that way.

And his real mother? Who was she? Who would give up her own baby? Where was she?

Lee stared out the window over the water, as though the answers to his questions existed somewhere beneath the gentle waves. Were they so ashamed that this atrocity had happened in their perfect little family that they’d continue to hide the truth...even after the man was dead?

He laughed aloud.
No wonder I always thought I was different, out-of-place, unwelcome in the family. It was true!

Lee wondered how he could possibly face these people now, unless it was to confront them with their secret. He pictured himself venting his newfound anger at them—it would serve them right—and then never speaking to them again. Maybe they wouldn’t even care.

His thoughts drifted back to his father, his real father, his deceased father. There was obviously a story about how Lee came to be. Would he ever get to hear it? And if so, who would be the one to tell it to him?

Regardless of his father’s absence in his life, he suddenly thought he should be mournful over the man’s death. He tried to conjure up some emotion, but felt nothing.

Lee watched the sun begin its daily ascent over the lake.

I might have other family members out there somewhere.

The burden of that uncertainty compelled him to put that thought aside for the time being.

He walked to the window and stared at the reflection of the sunrise on the water, the feelings of hurt, anger, and confusion colliding inside his head.

Still, there was an inexplicable feeling of relief deep in his chest, like a fistful of balloons had just been released into the sky.

20 | Just Who’s Normal?

Bennett called Lee several days after the barbecue to thank him for introducing him to Francine, who had come through with her promise to put him in touch with Senator Wheland. He was thrilled to have succeeded in scheduling a meeting with Wheland to discuss possible collaboration on a couple of projects involving immigration reform.

“Glad I could help. And I’m glad you had such a good time at the barbecue too.” It was different talking with him knowing he had no familial ties with him.

“I’m sure you meant well.”

“Meant well?”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. I meant well? Is that what you were thinking when you were chasing your daughter around the yard with a water balloon?”

Bennett didn’t respond.

A wave of emotion swept over him, one he hadn’t experienced before, one that spurred him to say what had been irking him ever since the barbecue. “What’s with you, anyway? You were like a different person when you forgot for the moment you were a Winekoop.”

“You’re being impertinent.”

“You sound like Mother.”

“It’s unfortunate more of her didn’t rub off on
you
.”

Lee could feel the warmth creeping up his neck. “You are so damn pretentious, just like the rest of them.”

“And you are out of line.”

“Maybe I am. But do tell me, exactly why did you all leave in such a huff that day?”

“That would seem evident.”

“Enlighten me.”

“We’re obviously not used to eating off paper plates and fraternizing with...”

“With whom? Someone like Francine, who put you in touch with someone you couldn’t get in to see on your own? Someone like that?”

Bennett offered no response.

“You’re too much, you know that? You know what your problem is? You think more about what others think of you than what you think of yourself.”

“That comment is indicative of your selfishness.”

“Are you kidding me? Why don’t you ditch those highfalutin words you spit out like a robot and say what you mean? What are you afraid of anyway?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?”

“You, my friend, have no respect for our family, but then...”

“But then, what?” Lee waited for him to say
But you’re not really part of this family anyway.

“Look, my intent for this phone call was to properly thank you for something. But I can see by your boorish behavior, you are incapable of graciously receiving it.

“Now you sound like Father.”

“Goodbye, Lee.”

He hadn’t intended to pick a fight with Bennett. Between his two brothers, he always felt Bennett was the more tolerant one. Knowing his real identity was making Lee feel boldly assertive, and he didn’t know if he should embrace that or try to repress it.

In any case, it felt good.

* * *

Lee buried himself as much as he could in the process of building his new house, keeping in close communication with the builder and general contractor. Between daily visits to the property and frequent visits to Deer Bottom Inn, he managed to keep his mind off his family—his real one and the one he had erroneously called family for the first twenty-seven years of his life. Since the barbecue, he’d heard nothing from any of his family members other than Bennett, and in the aftermath of that conversation, he wasn’t so sure they’d ever be speaking again.

Working with Dr. Rad on planning the greenhouses and labs now made him uneasy, which was especially ironic since he had been the one who had preached to Dr. Rad about how much would be lost if he didn’t continue his work. It was one thing to develop the land when he thought he had inherited it from an uncle he barely knew, an uncle who inexplicably had imposed some peculiar restrictions on him. But the matter took on new meaning now that he knew it had come from his father. Now the peculiar restrictions stirred up an intense desire in him to know what they were all about.