Red Clover (27 page)

Then DeRam tried to pin the crop on Lee in an effort to land Lee in jail. If he had succeeded with that, Lee would be out of the picture, and he could pursue CJ without his interference, and who knows, maybe plant another crop of marijuana. And then the plot had thickened when DeRam still felt threatened by Lee’s involvement with CJ, so he had dragged her son into it by telling him he was his father, thinking that would strengthen his relationship with CJ and force Lee out of the picture. And the joint Lee found in DeRam’s back pocket further supporting his suspicions.

It all made sense...almost. There was still the issue of the tire tracks he’d found shortly after discovering the harvested plants. If DeRam had acted alone, there would be no reason for him to return to the field after it had been cut down. So either he had an accomplice and was checking on his work, or maybe the arrogant sheriff had come back to admire his own work.

Lee had never considered himself a vengeful person, but the more he stewed over DeRam’s conduct, the more tempting the thought of revenge became.

* * *

“I don’t think they know you know,” Bennett said as they were downing some beers in Lee’s living room. “And for that reason, I don’t think they feel any differently about you than they did before. My guess is that they expect you for Thanksgiving.”

Lee hadn’t spoken to any of his family members for almost two months, except for Bennett, who now came to visit him regularly, prompting the two brothers to become close.

“I don’t think I want to be there.” Lee was getting comfortable with the fact that he wasn’t biologically related to any of them.

“And maybe I don’t blame you, but I think it’s pretty much expected.”

“You know I invited everyone to come see my new house, and Mother declined.”

“I know.”

“So I think I’ll decline for Thanksgiving as well. What’s good for—”

“Think about it—you could go and suffer through the visit, or you could not go, in which case you’d piss off Dad and hurt Mother.”

“Well, when you put it that way...”

“Take the high road, Lee. That’s my advice for what it’s worth.”

Lee weighed his words for a moment. He didn’t remember ever having been capable of taking the high road before.

“I guess I should. Will Daphne and the children be there?”

“The children will. Per court order, I get them every other major holiday. Daphne is going to fly out here with them and stay at a friend’s while they spend Thanksgiving with me.”

“That’s got to be rough.”

“Tell me about it. I can only imagine what nonsense about me she’s been instilling in their brains.”

“You know what...I will be there, but just for you...and your kids.”

“Thanks, little brother.”

Lee appreciated the familial implication, ambiguous as it was.

* * *

Lee decided he would spend Thanksgiving night at his parents’ house, and if the conditions were right, he would confront them the following day about his real ancestry. It was time. He called his mother and told her of his intention to stay overnight.

“Well, dear, that may not be the best idea. You see...well, there may be others here. Yes, I think Bennett and the children may be staying overnight, and then there’s—”

“That’s fine then,” he said, not wanting to hear the rest of the excuses. “I’ll just be there for Thanksgiving then.”

“Um...we thought maybe you had other plans...like with your new friends up there.”

What?

“What are you saying? That you’d rather I didn’t come at all?”

“Lee, dear, your father hasn’t quite gotten over…I think it’s just a matter of time though, and when—”

“Mother, I
know
.” He couldn’t stop himself from blurting it out.

“What, dear?”

“I know. I know all about Uncle Nelson. I know he’s my real father.”

She gasped.

Lee waited several seconds for her to say something, and when she didn’t, he asked, “Are you there?”

She still didn’t respond.

“Mother, say something.”

“Who told you?”

He didn’t feel good about lying. “No one had to tell me. I figured it out on my own.”

“How long have you known?”

“It doesn’t matter. I should have been told this a long time ago.”

“I know, dear. I know. But you realize why we couldn’t tell you, don’t you?”

“Not really.”

“His name would have been ruined, his reputation. And our name as well. Henry had businesses to protect. And I had my charities and—”

“Hold on a minute. So it didn’t matter what all this did to me, just so it didn’t affect any of you? And what are you talking about anyway? Why would you and Father have anything to lose? And why did you take me in in the first place if you were so worried about yourselves?” He realized he had gone too far, but he couldn’t help reacting to her incredibly insensitive comment.

“You’re my child. I couldn’t have given you up.”

He couldn’t breathe. What was she saying? That she had relations with her own uncle? He knew he couldn’t have heard right.

“Lee?”

“I didn’t know that part of it.”

“What part of it?”

“That you’re my real mother.”

“Well, whom did you think was your real mother?”

“Just someone Uncle Nelson had an affair with.”

Silence.

“Mother?”

“Lee, Uncle Nelson is not really my uncle.”

“What? Who is he, then?”

Her sigh included a sob. “His real name is Nelson Sambourg, not Sedgewick.”

A chill went down his back. “I have to sit down, Mother. This is way more confusing than I originally thought. So you’re telling me you had an affair with this man, got pregnant, had me... Wait a minute. How did you explain the pregnancy?”

“I stayed in the New York apartment that summer. Henry didn’t know I was pregnant. No one did.”

“What? Mother, this is making no sense.”

“It’s a rather complicated story.”

“Well, how about giving me the short version. Start with how he found out.”

“I assume you mean Henry. He came to New York on a surprise visit.”

“And found you there...pregnant.”

“Something like that.”

“I don’t get it. What was your plan?”

“I had made arrangements to put you up for adoption. No one would have known.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, allowing that stunning blow to sink in.

“So why didn’t you?”

She didn’t respond right away. “When I saw your face for the first time, I knew...I couldn’t do it.”

“And Father?”

“He was furious with me, of course. But in the end, he had to go along with it. He had his reputation at stake.”

“And you told him who the father was?”

“Yes, but not at first. That took strength I didn’t have when—”

“Good grief, Mother. How could you—”

“Lee, I think I need to lie down. Will you ever forgive me?”

“I don’t know. I need time to digest all this.”

All of a sudden, the notion of not being welcomed home for Thanksgiving seemed rather trivial.

What am I supposed to do with this? Am I now the only one who knows the whole truth besides my parents? Besides Mother and her husband?

He didn’t know how to refer to them even in his private thoughts. And while it was difficult for Lee to accept his mother violating what he had always thought was a strict moral code, how dare his father refer to his mother as a whore.

I will never again refer to that man as my father.

* * *

It took Lee several days before he found the courage to continue the conversation with his mother. He took a generous swig of Pepto-Bismol before picking up the phone.

“Mother, we need to talk further. I think I deserve to know everything.”

“I know, dear, and I agree. Henry will be out of town on Thursday and Friday of this week. He’s leaving at six on Thursday morning. Can you come here?”

“I’ll be there well after he leaves on Thursday. Please let me know if his plans change. I do
not
want to run into him.”

“I’ll see you then. And Lee, I haven’t told anyone of our previous conversation.”

“I haven’t either.”

“Good. Let’s keep it that way for now.”

I know you’ll have no trouble keeping it secret—you’re a champion in that arena.

* * *

The sixty-mile drive to Evanston seemed to take much longer than usual, but it gave Lee ample time to formulate all the disconcerting questions that had been occupying his thoughts day and night for the past five days.

His mother greeted him at the front door and hugged him, leaving him feeling as though he was seeing her, feeling her touch, and smelling her perfume for the first time.

He led the way to the dining room where he hoped having a table between them would make the discussion they were about to have more valid...or something.

She called for tea.

“Where do you want me to start?”

“At the beginning, Mother. Please start at the beginning.”

She clasped her hands and rested them on the table in front of her. She looked at him with soulful eyes for a long moment before she spoke.

“The beginning seems so long ago,” she said through a sigh.

Her demeanor was surprisingly placid. He wondered if she was on medication of some kind.

“I met Nelson Sambourg at a City of Hope fundraiser in 1951. Nelson, my Nelson, was just a toddler.”

“That’s one of my questions, Mother. Why was Nelson named after him?”

“The fact your brother’s name is Nelson is purely coincidental. He wasn’t named for anyone in particular.”

“But you told me, and I remember this distinctly, he was named after Uncle Nelson.”

“I know.” She stared past him. “I don’t know.” Her voice trailed off. “I suppose saying he was named after my uncle helped to reinforce the lies we were telling people about you.”

“Go on.”

“I hadn’t bonded very well with Nelson after he was born, and I was very depressed. I think they have a name for it today, but back then, I didn’t know what I was going through. I was extremely unhappy. And Henry...well, he wasn’t very supportive. You know how he is.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Anyway, Nelson was so nice to me, such a good listener, so attentive—all the things Henry wasn’t—and...”

“One thing led to another, and you had an affair with him.”

“I did.” She paused for a moment. “I did, and it was wrong. And I knew it was wrong. But I was lonely. I was so lonely, and Henry...well, I didn’t feel emotionally connected to him at all, and I needed...as a woman, I needed that. It sounds like an excuse, I know. Please believe me when I say I know what I did was wrong, but...”

“I know. Go on, Mother.”

“Then Bennett was born, and—”

“Bennett?”

“Yes. And when—”

“Mother, who is Bennett’s father?”

“Henry.”

“Mother?”

“And when Bennett was born, I thought...”

“Mother, you’ve come this far. Tell me the truth. Is Uncle Nelson Bennett’s father as well?”

She looked down for several seconds and then looked up through watery eyes. “I believe in my heart of hearts that he’s Henry’s child, but if I’m being completely truthful about it, I can’t be sure.”

The thought of Bennett being his full brother took hold of Lee. He waffled for a moment between pressing the issue and letting it go. While it appeared she didn’t want to know for sure, it seemed too vital to discard.

“What about DNA testing?”

“That’s not accurate. I’ve looked into it.”

“They’re making strides in that area, Mother. And there are always blood tests...”

“May we go on?”

“Of course.”

“Your two brothers look alike, so...”

He had to agree. Unlike Lee, they both resembled their mother. Neither had inherited any of Henry’s features. “I know. Please continue. So Bennett was born...”

“And after that...well, Nelson and I decided to stop seeing each other. We remained out of touch for a year or so. Until...I ran into him at another charity event, and then...we both felt in our hearts we wanted to pick up where we had left off.”

“So you and Henry weren't getting along this whole time?” Referring to him as “Henry” felt awkward, but “Father” was out of the question at this point.

“It’s difficult to explain our relationship...even now. Perhaps some would call it a marriage of convenience. He needed a wife on his arm at all his noted events and someone to come home to, and I needed to uphold my family tradition in the charity world. We’re good at supporting each other that way. But as far as a healthy, happy marriage...no, we’ve never had that.”

“But you stayed together.”

“Yes. For all those reasons, and, of course, for you children.” She stared past him for a few seconds. “Anyway, it was January 1960, and Senator Kennedy had just announced his candidacy for president. He was coming to Chicago, and Nelson had a meeting with him. Nelson was very involved in the Congress for Cultural Freedom back then, and that’s what they talked about.”

“Really? The anti-communism group?”

“Yes.”

“There was a scandal about them at one time being funded by the CIA I think.”

“Allegations were made. Kennedy wanted to support and influence their cause without anyone knowing about it. Nelson was his intermediary.”

“How did the two of them meet?”

“Nelson offered his family’s printing business for many of their publications. Apparently Kennedy found him through that connection.”

“Sounds intriguing. I wish I had been able to talk to him about it.”

“I know, dear. He was so enamored by Jack Kennedy, but he couldn’t talk about him, as he had to keep their relationship confidential, even with me. Anyway, that day, I stayed in Nelson’s hotel room while the two of them met in a private room somewhere else in the hotel. When he returned to the room, he was so excited, and I was, too. Well, you were conceived that night.”

Lee’s heart pounded high in his chest. She made it sound so...so right. So legitimate somehow.

“We were so caught up in the moment, we weren’t careful.”

She stopped talking. As she rose up from her chair, he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. “I need to lie down,” she whispered.