Red or Dead (17 page)

I know you want to do well, said Bill Shankly. I know you want to play well, son. For Liverpool Football Club, for this crowd tonight. But I also know the pressure that brings. That desire to do well. That desire to play well. The pressure of that desire. The desire to please this crowd. The desire to please these people. And I know the weight that brings. The weight of that expectation. It is heavy. I know. That pressure. I know. That weight. But remember this. If I did not feel you could play well. If I did not feel you could carry that weight. Then I would not have bought you, son. And I would not have picked you. I bought you, son. And I picked you. Because I know you can carry that weight, son. Because I know you are the best …

In the first minute, the very first minute, Alf Arrowsmith scored his first goal, his very first goal for Liverpool Football Club. In the thirty-third minute, Peter Thompson scored his first goal, his very first goal for Liverpool Football Club. In the fifty-seventh minute, Ian Callaghan scored. In the sixty-seventh minute, Roger Hunt scored. In the seventy-ninth minute, Gordon Milne scored. And in the
eighty-seventh
minute, Hunt scored again. And Liverpool Football Club beat Wolverhampton Wanderers six–nil. Six–nil. At home, at Anfield.

Five days later, Liverpool Football Club travelled to Bramall Lane, Sheffield. And no one scored for Liverpool Football Club. And Liverpool Football Club lost three–nil to Sheffield United.

On Saturday 28 September, 1963, Everton Football Club came to Anfield, Liverpool. That afternoon, fifty-one thousand, nine hundred and seventy-three folk came, too. The game had been sold out for weeks, the gates had been locked for hours. Before the kick-off. Bill Shankly walked down the corridor. Bill Shankly opened the dressing-room door. Bill Shankly stepped inside the dressing room. The home dressing room. Bill Shankly closed the dressing-room door. Bill Shankly took off his hat. Bill Shankly hung his hat on the back of the door. And Bill Shankly looked around the dressing room. From player to player. From Lawrence to Byrne, Byrne to Ferns, Ferns to Milne, Milne to Yeats, Yeats to Stevenson, Stevenson to Callaghan, Callaghan to Hunt, Hunt to St John, St John to Melia and from Melia to Thompson. And Bill Shankly smiled. Bill Shankly took a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. Bill Shankly pinned the piece of paper to the wall of the dressing room. The home dressing-room wall –

I’ve just seen Harry, said Bill Shankly. Old Harry Catterick, lads. In the corridor. By, he’s a miserable man is Harry. He’s always miserable is Harry. But he’s not only miserable today. Today he’s tired, too. Exhausted. Knackered. And shattered. And he’s not the only one. They are all tired. All exhausted, all knackered. The whole team shattered. And do you know why, lads? Do you know why they are all so tired? So exhausted, knackered and shattered?

In the dressing room, on the benches. In their kits and in their boots. The players of Liverpool Football Club looked at Bill Shankly. And the players of Liverpool Football Club shook their heads.

Bill Shankly smiled again. And Bill Shankly tapped the piece of paper he had pinned to the wall of the dressing room –

Because of this, said Bill Shankly. This, lads …

In the dressing room, on the benches. In their kits and in their boots. The players of Liverpool Football Club stared up at the piece of paper pinned to the dressing-room wall. The piece of paper, a map of Europe. A map of Europe with one big thick red line drawn across it. One big thick red line drawn from Liverpool to Milan.

Bill Shankly put his finger on the piece of paper. On the map of Europe. Bill Shankly moved his finger along the red line from Liverpool to Milan. And then Bill Shankly moved his finger back along the red line from Milan back to Liverpool –

Do you know how far it is, asked Bill Shankly. How far it is from Liverpool to Milan, lads?

In the dressing room, on the benches. In their kits and in their boots. The players of Liverpool Football Club stared at the piece of paper pinned to the dressing-room wall. Again. The players of Liverpool Football Club shook their heads.

Well, I’ll tell you, said Bill Shankly. I’ll tell you, lads. It’s eight hundred miles. As the crow flies. From Liverpool to Milan. And it’s eight hundred miles back again. As the crow flies. That’s one thousand, six hundred miles, lads. So that’s how far Everton Football Club have travelled this past week. One thousand, six hundred miles! And I’ll tell you this, lads. I’ll tell you this. When you’ve been beaten. When you’ve been knocked out of the European Cup. That will feel more than one thousand, six hundred miles, lads. That will feel more like ten thousand miles, lads. One million miles! And you know what,
lads? You know what old Harry had them doing? The minute they got back from Milan. After they had been beaten. After they had been knocked out the European Cup. After they had travelled one thousand, six hundred miles. You know what old Harry had them all doing? The very next day? The day after they got back from Milan in Italy?

In the dressing room, on the benches. In their kits and in their boots. The players of Liverpool Football Club stared up at Bill Shankly. And the players of Liverpool Football Club shook their heads.

Well, I’ll tell you, said Bill Shankly again. I’ll tell you, lads. Because I know. Because I could see them. From my house, from my window. I could see what Harry had them doing. And you won’t believe it, boys. You just won’t believe it. The day after they got back. The day after they were beaten by Internazionale of Milan. The day after they were knocked out of the European Cup. The day after they had travelled one thousand, six hundred miles. Harry had them doing a commando course. A commando course, boys! Up at Bellefield. Running the legs off them. But I know why, lads. I know why Harry did it. Because he knows how fit
you
all are. How hard
you
all train. And so he was worried was Harry. And so he’s trying to keep up with our training. But he can’t, boys. They can’t. And Harry’s delusional if he thinks they can. The man is simply delusional. Even on a good day. And this was not a good day. This was the day after they got back from Milan. The day after they had been beaten by Internazionale of Milan. They day after they had been knocked out of the European Cup. The day after they had travelled one thousand, six hundred miles. A very bad day. But I could see them, boys. From my house, from my window. I could see them. And I tell you, boys. I tell you. They were exhausted. They were knackered. And they were shattered. They couldn’t keep up. They were dropping like flies. Left, right and centre. Dropping like flies they were, boys. The lot of them. So they are already finished, boys. They are already beaten. Before the whistle’s even been blown, before they’ve even kicked a ball. So all you have to do today, boys. All you have to do today is finish the job. Finish the job, boys. And put them out of their misery. For Chrissakes, lads. You’ll be doing them a favour. So for the love of God, boys. Please put them out of their misery, lads. Out of their bloody misery …

Two minutes before half-time, Ian Callaghan scored. Three
minutes after half-time, Callaghan scored again. Roy Vernon scored for Everton Football Club. But it didn’t count, it didn’t matter. Liverpool Football Club had beaten Everton Football Club two–one. At home, at Anfield. Bill Shankly burst into the dressing room. The home dressing room. And Bill Shankly danced from player to player. Bill Shankly patted their backs, Bill Shankly shook their hands. All of their backs, all of their hands. And then Bill Shankly stood in the centre of the dressing room. And Bill Shankly grinned –

Do you know what you have achieved today, boys? What you have done today? You have not only beaten Everton Football Club. You have beaten the Champions. You have beaten the Champions of England, boys. And so now you can have nothing to fear. Nothing to fear for the rest of the season, boys. Because you have beaten the Champions of England. The best team in this land. And so if you can beat them, boys. If you can beat the Champions of England. Then you can beat any team. Any team in the land, boys. And every team! You can beat every team in the land. I know you can. Because today you have shown me you can. And so today I know you can be the Champions. I know we can be the Champions of England, boys!

In the office, at the desk. On the last Monday in October, 1963. Bill opened up the newspaper again. And Bill looked down at the League table again. The League table as it stood on Monday 28 October, 1963. This month, Liverpool Football Club had played three matches at home, at Anfield. And Liverpool Football Club had beaten Aston Villa, Sheffield Wednesday and West Bromwich Albion. Liverpool Football Club had played one match away, away from Anfield. And Liverpool Football Club had beaten Ipswich Town. This season, Liverpool Football Club had played fourteen matches. That Monday, Liverpool Football Club had nineteen points. That Monday, Liverpool Football Club were third in the First Division. On goal average, with nineteen points. Arsenal, Everton, Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United all had nineteen points, too. Sheffield United had twenty-one points. Sheffield United were top of the First Division. Sheffield United were
the sixth team to be top of the First Division this season. In the office, at the desk. Bill opened one of the drawers. Bill took out the pair of scissors and the pot of glue. Bill cut out the League table from the newspaper. Bill stuck the League table for Monday 28 October, 1963, into his book. His book of names, his book of notes. And in the office, at the desk. Now Bill took out his diary. His diary of dates, his diary of fixtures. Bill turned the pages of his diary. The pages of dates to come, the pages of fixtures to come. The twenty-eight fixtures to come, the twenty-eight opportunities to come. The twenty-eight opportunities to win, the twenty-eight opportunities to be the Champions –

The Champions of England.

And in the office, at the desk. Now Bill turned back through the pages of his diary. The pages of dates, the pages of fixtures. To the next fixture, to the next Saturday. And Bill stared down at that next fixture, that next Saturday. That next Saturday, Leicester City Football Club would come to Anfield, Liverpool. In the office, at the desk. Bill closed his diary. His diary of dates, his diary of fixtures. And in the office, at the desk. Bill stared down at the pair of scissors. The blades.

…

Upstairs, in their house. In the night and in the silence. Ness and the girls were asleep. Downstairs, in their house. In the night and in the silence. At the kitchen table, in a chair. Bill stared down at the three spoons, the four forks and the four knives. Again. The three spoons, the four forks and the four knives moving. Again. The three spoons, the four forks and the four knives turning. Moving and turning. Again and again and again and again. Spinning and swirling. Again and again and again and again. In the night and in the silence. At the table, in the chair. Bill closed his eyes. The three spoons, the four forks and the four knives always spinning. Again and again and again and again. The three spoons, the four forks and the four knives always swirling. Again and again and again and again. In the night and in the silence. At the table, in the chair. Bill opened his eyes. Bill picked up the three spoons, the four forks and the four knives. And Bill threw the three spoons, the four forks and the four knives across the kitchen. The three spoons, the four forks and the four knives clattered on the kitchen floor. In the night and in the silence. At the table, in the chair. Bill stood up. Bill walked out of the kitchen. Bill walked into the other
room. In the night and in the silence. Bill picked up his diary from the arm of the chair. His diary of dates, his diary of fixtures. Bill turned through the pages of his diary. The pages of dates to come, the pages of fixtures to come. Looking for one date, looking for one fixture. Until Bill found the date, until Bill found that fixture. And in the night and in the silence. Now Bill stared down at the date. Saturday 28 March, 1964. Easter Saturday. Bill stared down at the fixture. Leicester City. Away, at Filbert Street. And in their house. In the night and in the silence. Bill closed his eyes. And Bill made a promise. Bill made a vow. His promise, his vow. Never again would Leicester City beat Liverpool Football Club. Never,

ever again.

…

In the pavilion at Melwood, the repainted and refurbished pavilion at Melwood. In front of the players of Liverpool Football Club, the entire squad of Liverpool Football Club. Bill held up the newspaper. Bill held up the back page of the newspaper. The League table on the back page of the newspaper. The last League table for November, 1963. And Bill said, We won at Bolton. We beat Fulham. We won at United. And we beat Burnley. And look where we are now, boys. Look where we are. We are top, lads. Top of the First Division. For the first time since 1947, boys. Liverpool Football Club are top of the First Division. So well done, lads. Well done! But I have to tell you something, boys. Something you’re not going to want to hear. It doesn’t count, lads. It doesn’t matter who is top of the First Division in November. Nobody cares, boys. The only thing that counts is who is top of the First Division in April. On the last day of the season, lads. That is all that matters. All anybody cares about, boys. And so we might be top now in November. But now we have to stay there, lads. Through December and into January. January into February, February into March. All the way to April, boys. We have to stay there. We have to stay on the top, lads. And so I have to tell you something else. Something else you’re not going to want to hear, boys. It’s going to be tough and it is going to be hard. Hard work, lads. But let me tell you one last thing. After all that hard work, boys. It’ll be worth it. Well worth it, lads. Because we will be Champions. The Champions of England, boys! If we work hard. If we all work hard together, lads …

Out on the training ground, out in the rain. The players ran round the training pitch at Melwood. And Bill ran round the training pitch at Melwood. Bill laughing, Bill joking. In the rain, the players heard the whistle. And in the rain, the players split into their groups. And the players lifted weights. The players skipped. The players jumped. The players did squats. The players did abdominal exercises. The players sprinted. And in the rain, Bill lifted weights. Bill skipped. Bill jumped. Bill did squats. Bill did abdominal exercises. Bill sprinted. Bill laughing, Bill joking. Then in the rain, the players heard the whistle again. And in the rain, the players passed the ball. The players dribbled with the ball. The players headed the ball. The players chipped the ball. The players controlled the ball. The players tackled. And in the rain, Bill passed the ball. Bill dribbled with the ball. Bill headed the ball. Bill chipped the ball. Bill controlled the ball. Bill tackled. Bill laughing, Bill joking. In the rain, the players heard the whistle again. In the rain, the players went between the training boards. The players moving, the ball moving. Playing the ball against one board. Then taking the ball, controlling the ball. Turning with the ball, dribbling with the ball. Up to the other board. In just ten touches. Playing the ball against the other board. Then pulling the ball down, turning again and dribbling again. Back down to the first board. In just ten touches. And in the rain, Bill went between the training boards. Bill moving, the ball moving. Bill playing the ball against one board. Then taking the ball, controlling the ball. Bill turning with the ball, dribbling with the ball. Up to the other board. In just ten touches. Bill playing the ball against the other board. Then pulling the ball down, turning again and dribbling again. Back down to the first board. In just ten touches. Bill laughing, Bill joking. And in the rain, the players heard the whistle yet again. And in the rain, the players went inside the sweat box. Ball after ball, into the box. Every second, another ball. For one minute, then for two minutes, then for three minutes. Ball after ball, into the box. And in the rain, Bill went into the sweat box. Ball after ball, into the box. Every second, another ball. For one minute, then for two minutes, then for three minutes. Bill laughing, Bill joking. In the rain, the players heard the whistle. In the rain, they played three-a-sides. Three-a-sides then five-a-sides. Five-a-sides then seven-a-sides. Seven-a-sides then eleven-a-sides. And in the rain, Bill played in the
three-a-sides. Three-a-sides then five-a-sides. Five-a-sides then seven-
a-sides
. Seven-a-sides then eleven-a-sides. Bill laughing, Bill joking. And then in the rain, the players ran one last time around the training pitch. And in the rain, Bill ran one last time around the training pitch. Bill laughing, Bill joking. And in the rain, the players got back on the bus. In the rain, Bob, Joe, Reuben and Albert got back on the bus. And in the rain, Bill got back on the bus. Bill laughing, Bill joking. In the rain, they all travelled back to Anfield. Everybody laughing, everybody joking. In the rain, they all got off the bus. Laughing and joking. In the rain, the players went into Anfield. In the rain, Bill went into Anfield. Bill laughing, Bill joking. In the dressing rooms, the players took off their boots, the players took off their tracksuits. In the dressing rooms, Bill took off his boots, Bill took off his sweater and his tracksuit bottoms. Bill laughing, Bill joking. The players went into the baths. And Bill went into the baths. Bill laughing, Bill joking. The players washed and changed. And Bill washed and changed. Bill laughing, Bill joking. The players said goodbye. And Bill said goodbye. Bill still laughing, Bill still joking. And the players went out to their cars. The players went back to their houses. Laughing and joking. But Bill did not go out to his car. Bill did not go back to his house. Bill not laughing now, Bill not joking now. Bill still looking, Bill still listening. Always looking, always listening. And learning, Bill was always learning. Learning and working –

Bill was always working.

…

In the kitchen, at their table. Bill tried to swallow his Sunday dinner, Bill tried to join in the family conversation. But Bill could not swallow his dinner, Bill could not join in the conversation. In the kitchen, at the table. The girls finished their dinner. And Ness finished her dinner. The girls stood up. And Ness stood up. The girls began to clear away the plates. Ness began to run the water in the sink. In the kitchen, at the table. Bill stood up. Bill walked over to the sink. Bill put his hand on Ness’s arm. And Bill said, Leave it, love. I’ll do it …

Ness dried her hands. The girls put down the plates. Ness smiled. The girls smiled, too. Ness went into the front room and her crossword. And the girls went up to their room and their records.

Bill walked back over to the table. Bill picked up the plates.
Bill walked back to the sink. Bill put the plates in the sink. Bill walked back over to the kitchen table. Bill picked up the salt and pepper pots. Bill put them in the cupboard. Bill walked back over to the table. Bill took the cloth off the table. Bill walked over to the back door. Bill opened the back door. Bill stepped outside. Bill stood on the step. Bill shook the cloth. Bill stepped back into the kitchen. Bill closed the door. Bill folded up the tablecloth. Bill put the cloth in the drawer. Bill walked back over to the sink. Bill turned on the taps. Bill squeezed washing-up liquid into the sink. Bill turned off the taps. Bill picked up the scrubbing brush. Bill washed up the plates. Bill washed up the pans. Bill washed up the knives and forks. Bill put them on the draining board. Bill pulled out the plug. Bill dried his hands. Bill picked up the tea towel. Bill dried up the pans. Bill dried up the plates. Bill dried up the knives and forks. Bill put the pans in one cupboard. Bill put the plates in another. Bill put the knives and forks in the drawer. Bill walked back over to the sink. Bill picked up the dishcloth. Bill wiped down the draining board. Bill turned on the taps again. Bill rinsed the dishcloth under the taps. Bill turned off the taps. Bill squeezed the water out of the dishcloth. Bill put the dishcloth down next to the bottle of washing-up liquid. Bill turned around. Bill looked round the kitchen. Bill turned back to the sink. Bill bent down. Bill opened the cupboard under the sink. Bill took out a bucket from under the sink. Bill bent back down. Bill opened a box under the sink. Bill took out a Brillo pad from the box. Bill closed the cupboard door. Bill picked up the bucket. Bill put the bucket in the sink. Bill turned on the taps again. Bill filled the bucket half full. Bill turned off the taps. Bill took the bucket and the Brillo pad over to the cooker. Bill put down the bucket in front of the cooker. Bill opened the oven door. Bill looked inside the oven. Bill could see the dirt. Bill could smell the fat. Bill knelt down on the kitchen floor. Bill unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt. Bill rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. Bill picked up the Brillo pad. Bill sank the Brillo pad into the bucket of water. Bill pulled the Brillo pad back up, out of the water. Bill squeezed the water from the Brillo pad. The wet, steel wool. Bill squeezed it tighter. Bill put his hand inside the oven. Into the dirt, amongst the fat. In the kitchen, on the floor. On his knees, Bill began to scrub. Liverpool Football Club had lost to Blackburn Rovers. On his knees, Bill began to scour. Liverpool Football Club had
lost to West Ham United. On his knees, Bill began to clean. Liverpool Football Club had lost to Everton. On his knees, to clean and clean again. Liverpool Football Club were no longer top of the First Division. Liverpool Football Club were now fourth in the First Division. On his knees, until there was no more dirt, there was no more fat. And Liverpool Football Club were top again, and still top again, and in the Cup again, in the Sixth Round of the FA Cup again.

…

Under the stands, in the office. Not at his desk, not in his chair. Bill was pacing and Bill was pacing. Back and forth, across the room. Three strides back and three strides forth. Swansea Town were in the Second Division. In the doldrums of the Second Division. Liverpool Football Club were in the First Division. Near the very summit of the First Division. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club were certain to knock Swansea Town out of the FA Cup. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club were certain to reach the semi-finals of the FA Cup. Again. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club could reach the final of the FA Cup. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club could win the FA Cup. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club could win the League, too. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club could win the League and the Cup. Folk were saying Liverpool Football Club could do the Double. The Double! Under the stands, in the office. Not at his desk, not in his chair. Still pacing and still pacing. Back and forth across the room. Bill had his fingers in his ears –