Red Red Rose (24 page)

“What
was that?”

“I
said, Ben stopped by to see me this morning. He’s convinced Shaw is guilty, but
they had to let him go because they don’t have enough for an arrest yet.”

His
face scrunched up. “First of all, Ben Nielson isn’t exactly the brightest cop
in the shop, but dude thinks he’s John McClane. I heard from Mitch who did a
ride along with Nielson that the idiot wanted to arrest James when he came to
town, even though it wasn’t possible for him to have been involved in the
crimes, because you know, he was off being Rambo. But I guess Ben just kept
going on about how James could have used his super soldier ninja skills to pull
it off.”

“That’s
insane,” I spit out incredulously.

“That’s
what I’m trying to say. A guilty verdict from ol’ Benji doesn’t exactly hold
much weight.”

I
stepped back and stared out the window, thinking over our conversation this
morning. I sighed wearily and turned back to Reggie. “I don’t know, he was so
sure, and everything Monroe and Parker said on Sunday made me think they were
too, but Ben also went on about how useless the FBI has been since they took
over the case. He doesn’t think they’ve done anything to help.”

Reggie
cocked his brow and dropped his chin. “Like I said, idiot thinks he’s John
McClane. Look, I’ve watched enough TV to know that if Monroe and Parker turned
Shaw loose, it’s for one of two reasons; they’re hoping he’ll lead them right
to his serial killer lair where they can take his ass down and have all the
evidence they need, or they had the wrong guy. Really it could just as easily
be the last one. The FBI isn’t immune to being wrong.”

I
frowned at him. “I don’t find either of those options very reassuring right
now, Reg.”

“Hey,
the case could be over soon, or lover boy might be innocent. I don’t see how
either one of those would be a bad thing.”

“Because,
either the guy I’ve fallen for is a sick serial killer who had me fooled, or
the cops are trying to crucify the wrong guy while the real killer gets away
with it.”

“Oh,”
his face fell slightly. “Yeah, I could see how those are both not good things,
but at least it could all be over soon.”

“Yeah,
but I want this story to have a happy ending, and I just don’t see one.” I
shook my head in defeat, at a loss to see how this could play out as anything
but a tragedy.

He
set his hand on my shoulder, and held my gaze. “The happy ending comes when
this guy isn’t allowed to hurt anymore girls. When he doesn’t win. When you
keep seeing the good in the world and believing in it, despite all the bad.”

I
dropped my chin. “I just don’t know if I can do that.”

He
tilted my chin back up. “Yes you can. So, chin up, buttercup, and we’ll do this
one day at a time, okay?”

I
pulled in a deep breath and let it out, jerking my head in a nod. Together, we
worked swiftly through opening tasks and had everything ready by the time the
first poor, caffeine deprived soul pulled up out front, and that’s how the rest
of the day went. Customers came in and out, and we did what we do best, which
was bring them back from the living dead. I did my best to ignore the chatter
about the case, and I brushed off those who thought they could subtly pry me
for information regarding the suspect everyone was so curious about. I half
suspected some of them might even be reporters.

On
my first break of the day, a quick search of my purse revealed that I didn’t
have my cell phone. I’d likely left it sitting in the bathroom at home. A check
of my car confirmed that I’d forgotten it. I was hoping James would return my
call. Reggie was amazing, but I knew James would be able to do more to put my
mind at ease.

I
should have picked him.

Two
months ago I would have in a heartbeat. I would have done anything, including
wait a year, for the chance to see if we could make something out of five years
of flirtation and sexual tension. But everything before Shaw was eclipsed by
his appearance in my life. The first words he ever said to me when he saw my
tears, spoke right to my heart.

I
didn’t even realize it had been sleeping until he woke it up, and when it woke
up, it made sure I knew it. It started doing crazy, erratic things it’d never
done before. Maybe it was Nathan’s betrayal and Emily’s disappearance that left
me vulnerable and my heart susceptible, but nothing I did now would erase the
mark he’d left on me. I just wanted to cry that something so beautiful could be
a lie, that every memory would be tainted by that lie.

And
now, how would I even be able to look James in the face, knowing he’d tried to
warn me, and instead of listening, I chose Shaw over him. I chose the guy who
probably hurt his sister, my best friend. I let him into my life, into my
house. I made it easy for him.

Reggie’s
concerned face filled my vision and I realized I’d gotten lost inside my own
head and had been checked out long enough that he noticed. “Maybe you should
take another break,” he suggested.

“I
just had a break,” I pointed out.

“What’s
the point of being the boss if you can’t take a break whenever you feel like
it? Seriously though, we can handle it out here if you just want to take a time
out in the back.”

I
took him up on it and went to hide out in the office, walking in on Mitch’s
fist raised, mid air, just before he slammed it into his small locker. I jumped
back, startled, and I must have made some noise because Mitch jerked his gaze
to me and his face blanched.

“Oh,
shit, Nora. I’m sorry.”

“What’s
going on?” Mitch’s position here was already tenuous after the past couple
weeks, and his failure to show up on time for shifts or at all. He was well
aware that he was running out of strikes. The only reason I hadn’t already let
him go was that he’d explained the reason he missed his last shift was because
he’d just been informed he was being passed over for a position with the
Bellingham PD and didn’t take the let down so well. I felt for the guy, so I
was giving him another chance to keep his job here, but I could only overlook
so much.

“I’m
sorry, I just lost it for a second.” I couldn’t tell if the red hue on his face
was from anger or embarrassment. “I got a call from the detective in Everett,
and they turned me down too.” His eyes dropped to the floor.

“Oh.
I’m sorry. That sucks.” I didn’t know what else to say, but thankfully he
didn’t wait for me to say anything more.

He
lifted his head up and tried to shrug it off. “Yeah, but oh well. Nothing I can
do, but keep applying with other departments. I guess I better get back to the
job I have, though.” He squeezed by me and slipped from the office. I partially
closed the door and walked over to my desk.

It
was there that Reggie found me a while later crying into the final pages of
A
Farewell to Arms.
He stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do, while I
ugly cried and then slammed the book closed and threw it across the room.

“Oh
shit, are you having a full mental breakdown?”

“No,”
I clipped out harshly and wiped at the tears with the sleeve of my shirt.
“Maybe,” I admitted a second later. “If I am it’s because Hemingway just ripped
my heart out and stomped on it.”

“Bastard,”
Reggie muttered and I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped my lips. He
smiled.

“Ugh,”
I wiped at my eyes some more. “I’m such a nut case.” I sniffed and tried to
breathe normally without blubbering. “Do you guys need me out there?”

“The
delivery guy is here with the flowers for tomorrow.”

“Oh,”
I stood up quickly and grabbed a tissue from the box on my desk, doing a better
job of wiping under my eyes to make sure no make-up was smeared, and then I
followed Reggie back out to the front, where the delivery guy was waiting. We
were going all out tomorrow for the big day, promoting a date night for
couples. We’d ordered several desserts from Sweet Indulgence to serve, and we
were going to be playing romantic comedies on the TVs all day, and putting out
board games and adult coloring books. I’d also ordered several dozen pink and
white roses to divide up as centerpieces for all of the tables, which would be
covered in these awesome, red sparkly tablecloths I picked up on sale after
Christmas.

The
delivery guy was standing off to the side of the counter with two flower
buckets filled with roses. I frowned and then shifted my frown to the delivery
guy who was holding out the delivery receipt to me.

“Those
aren’t the flowers I ordered,” I told him.

He
looked down at the slip in his hand then back at me. “Says six dozen red roses,
and that’s what I’ve got here.”

“I
ordered six dozen pink and white roses, not red,” I explained.

“Look,
if you don’t want the flowers, I can take them back, but I’m just the delivery
guy, so if there’s a problem with the order, you’ll have to call the shop.
Might be able to get a replacement order over here in the morning.”

I
sighed, I didn’t want the red roses, but I doubted I’d be able to get the pink
and white ones this late. “It’s fine, I’ll take these ones.”

But
they better not have charged me more for the red ones. I signed the delivery
confirmation and took the flowers into the storage room where they would stay
cool overnight. Then I returned to the office to call the flower shop and find
out what happened with my order, and see if I could make them think I was upset
enough to get a discount.

After
hanging up with Lois at the flower shop, I went to track down Reggie and Mitch
and cornered them both. “Did either of you call the shop and change the flower
order?” Lois had informed me that they’d received a call last week altering the
order from the pink and white flowers to the red ones.

“No,
why?” Reggie answered first, and then Mitch also denied having done it.

“The
lady at the flower shop said someone from here called and changed the order.”
She also said they’d sent me a second email invoice when the order was changed.
I’d ignored it, thinking it was just a copy, which meant I was out of luck with
the discount, and the red roses had cost more. Not much, but enough that I was
pissed off at whoever did this.

“Weird.
Could it have been one of the girls?” Reggie asked.

“No,
she said it was a guy.”

They
both insisted they hadn’t done it, but it left me wondering who made the call
and why they would have. I hadn’t thought to ask Lois if she was certain the
call came from our shop, or if the caller only said he was from Urban Grind. I
didn’t even understand why someone would do this, or who would even know about
the flower order. Either way, I was not amused if it was somebody’s idea of a
prank.

I
was still stewing over the flowers when I got home and found more of them
mocking me on my front porch. My first thought was Nathan. That prick had to be
behind the flowers at the shop as well. I should have known, but then he didn’t
occur to me because he shouldn’t have even known about the flowers I ordered
for the shop.

The
flowers and my anger at Nathan were the distraction that kept me from realizing
the alarm didn’t beep when I opened the door. I’d already shut and locked it
behind me before I realized something wasn’t right. And then I turned and saw
Shaw sitting on my couch and the bouquet slipped from my fingers and fell to
the floor.

Time
seemed to stop for just a moment and I was frozen in place. For the first time
in my life I understood the whole deer-caught-in-headlights thing. I’d always
wondered, why don’t they just run?

I
should have run, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not until I watched him stand and
then it was too late. His movement snapped me out of my daze and I turned, my
hand flying to the deadbolt, but I barely slid it back and grabbed the doorknob
before his hand reached over me from behind and slammed against the door,
stopping me from opening it. I whimpered pathetically and spun around with the
hope of running to the back door, but he caged me in and had me pinned against
the door before I could take my next terrified breath.

“Calm
down, Nora,” he spoke softly, but his words were anything but soothing.

“Easy
for you to say. You’re not the one trapped in your house with a psychopath,” I
spit, and then hoped to catch him off guard by swinging my fist at his face. He
was ready for me and caught my wrist. He used it as leverage to spin me around
and hold me to him, my back pressed to his front.

“I’m
not going to hurt you.” Warm breath tickled my ear and I couldn’t stop the
shudder that ran through me.

“Right,
you just broke into my house so we could play Monopoly and paint each other’s
nails.”

His
low laughter rumbled from his chest and vibrated through my body. It was such a
shame he was an evil psychopath, otherwise I would find this position quite
enjoyable. As it was, I was having a hard time remembering that he was the bad
guy.

“I’ll
pass on the painting each other’s nails tonight, but I swear I’m not going to
hurt you. I just need to talk to you.”

“Perfect,
then why don’t you let me go, and I can call Detective Parker down here and we
can all have a lovely chat over a cup of tea.”

Another
laugh. “You don’t even like tea.”

I
clenched my jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t act like you know me.”

He
tightened the arm that was wrapped around me, and slid his other hand up to my
throat where he cupped my jaw and forced my head to the side so that I was
looking up at him over my shoulder as much as I could. “I do know you Nora, and
if you would just open your damn eyes and look at me, you’d see that you know
me too.”

“I
am looking at you, and all I see is the creep who took my best friend and all
those other girls.” It was hard to speak with his hand still holding my jaw,
but he heard me, loud and clear and I watched a mask of frustration slip over
his features as his eyes darkened.

“Dammit,
Nora,” he growled. “That’s not what you see. That’s what you think you’re
supposed to believe, but look at me and tell me the truth. Do you really
believe I could do that?”

I
wouldn’t answer, so once again I found myself being spun around, until my back
met the hard door and Shaw loomed over me. This time when he placed his finger
against the underside of my chin and lifted, I closed my eyes before he could
force my gaze to meet his. I was afraid of what I might see. Strike that, I was
terrified that what I might see would confuse me more.

“Look
at me.” It was more a quiet plea than a command, which is why I was unable to
resist. There was nothing threatening or menacing in his tone, and despite the
way he’d manhandled me, he’d been surprisingly gentle about it. He hadn’t hurt
me once, and when I finally allowed myself to look into his eyes, they said he
wouldn’t. In fact, they said a lot of things. Who knew pools of chocolate and
gold could be so talkative, but with just a look, he was telling me all the
things my ears refused to hear.

I
sagged against the door and tipped my head back, letting it smack against the
wood. Whatever fight I’d had, left me. I closed my eyes once more and willed
them not to start leaking, but it felt like all my little bits were breaking
and falling apart as my head and heart battled. Then Shaw’s weight left me and
there was nothing pinning me to the door.

He’d
taken a step back, and then I watched him take another. There was nothing
stopping me from running out the door but myself.

“Do
you trust me?” I knew if I chose to run, he’d let me go. Don’t ask me how I
knew, but I just did. That’s why I didn’t.

“Yes.”
God help me, but it was the truth, and if I was a fool then so be it; this man
deserved a damn academy award.

There
was a brief moment when I saw relief wash over his face, but then he hid his
emotions behind an unreadable mask and turned to walk into my living room. Once
again I was left with the choice of running. I didn’t. I chose him and after a
minute of mentally debating my choice, I followed him. He sat on my sofa and
didn’t say a word while my eyes took in the clutter spread out on the coffee
table before him. I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn’t drag mine from the
images I was seeing, and then one in particular caught my gaze. My eyes snapped
warily to Shaw’s.

“Why
do you have that picture?” I pointed at the photograph.

“Like
I said, we need to talk.”

“Then
start talking, because I’m about two minutes from making a run for it and
calling the cops and having you arrested for breaking into my house. Speaking
of, how the hell did you get past my alarm?”

“Easy.
I’m the one who installed it.”

“What?”

“I’m
the one who set up your security system, Nora.”

“But
James called a security company.”

“No,
he told you he did, but he called me. He just couldn’t tell you that.”

“Why?”

“Come
sit down and I’ll explain everything, and if it will make you feel any better,
both Parker and Monroe know I’m here.”

I
hesitated a moment before walking over and dropping onto the opposite end of
the couch. Once again my eyes scanned over all the photos and documents spread
out on the coffee table. My attention shifted to Shaw once he started speaking.

“Six
weeks ago I got a call from an army buddy saying his old sergeant needed some
help, the kind that I could offer. His daughter had gone missing and the police
weren’t taking the disappearance seriously.”

“John,”
I connected the dots. “But why would he ask for your help?”

“After
I was fully recovered from injuries I sustained on my last op, the one that
ended my career as a ranger, I signed on as a security consultant with a
private contractor. We handle the shit that the cops can’t or won’t. Or the
shit that our clients don’t want to take to the police. It’s all very much off
book and requires a certain amount of anonymity. I know Monroe told you there
were no records when they looked into me.”

“I
believe
ghost
was the word he used.”

He
nodded. “That’s exactly what I have to be sometimes. And I was hired by the
Raynes to find Emily, or at the very least find out what happened to her.”

I
didn’t say anything for a full minute as I processed what he was telling me.
“Is your real name even Spencer?” I don’t know why of all the questions I could
and should have asked that was the first one to come out of my mouth.

“Yes.
Spencer Shaw is my real name. I don’t always use my real name, but in this case
I had no reason to lie. If anyone wanted to look into me, they wouldn’t find a
thing.”

I
couldn’t help the short, derisive laugh that escaped. “Well at least there’s
that. Everything else about you was a lie, but hey at least you gave me your
real name before you made me fall for you.”

He
blinked and then his hard features softened. “You fell for me?”

I
stood up. “Screw you, Shaw! Of course I did. Because you were perfect. You were
sweet and charming, and witty and funny and you read the same books I do, and
you kicked my ass at laser tag and paintball and poker and you let me sing in
your truck and didn’t even make fun of me for how terrible I am,” I cried out
all in one breath. “You carried me to bed and tucked in me in and then kissed
me on the forehead.” I was shouting by this point and I threw up my arms.
“Forehead kisses! How the hell is a girl not supposed swoon over that? You even
made my dad like you and hugged my mom! So you tell me how I could have done
anything but fall for you and your stupid act when you showed me exactly what I
wanted to see.”

He
closed the distance between us and reached his hands up to take my face between
his palms. “I showed you me, Nora. I swear to you, none of it was an act. It
was never part of my plan. All I was supposed to do was watch you and the
people close to Emily. It was you who made it impossible to stay in the
background. You made me want to know you, and then you just made me want you.”

“Stop.”
I shoved his hands away and retreated, turning my back to him. “I can’t do this
right now. I don’t know what I’m supposed to believe.”

“I
never wanted to hurt you, Nora, and I wish I had the time to make you see that
you aren’t the only one who fell, because I did. I’m still falling fucking
hard, but right now this isn’t about us. Right now this is about keeping you
safe.”

I
turned. “You think the real killer is coming after me?”

“I
think you’re the one he’s wanted all along.” He reached for the picture on the
table, the one that he shouldn’t have had, and handed it to me. I took it and,
even though I’d seen her face a million times, I stared at the young girl
looking back at me. Her auburn hair was wild like her personality. It looked
like it hadn’t been brushed in days, because it hadn’t. A spattering of
freckles covered her nose and cheeks. Barely twelve years old and already
looking at the world through jaded eyes and a dark scowl.

“Where
did you get this?”

“From
your juvie file.”

“It
was supposed to be sealed.” My eyes flicked to the floor and then the far wall,
anywhere but at him while shame flooded my cheeks.

“It
was, but I’m good with a computer, so I unsealed it.”

“Why?”
I let myself look at him.

“I
think we should sit back down.”

I
didn’t protest and we both walked back over to the couch. He drew in a deep
breath before letting it out and beginning. “For a month now I’ve been chasing
non-existent leads. Trying to turn up skeletons that aren’t there and find
connections between Emily and the other victims. For the most part, I haven’t
found a damn thing, but it’s because I was looking in the wrong closet, Nora.
All along I thought it was about Emily. It wasn’t until this afternoon when I
dug this up that I realized everyone has been looking in the wrong place.”

“What
do you mean? Why would you look into me? Why do you think I have anything to do
with this? Because I used to have red hair? No one even knows that besides my
parents. I started dying it black when I was thirteen. Not even Emily has ever
asked what my natural hair color is. I don’t keep pictures from back then and
she knows I don’t like to talk about my past. Emily went through a red hair phase
in college. It’s more likely that whoever it is, knew her then.”

“I
already considered that, but it’s not just the hair, Nora. It’s everything.
When I was dragged in for questioning, I started putting the pieces together.”

“Why
were you dragged in if you’ve been investigating the case? You guys are on the
same team.”

“But
I couldn’t tell them that.”

“Why
not? It would have cleared your name much sooner.”

“I
couldn’t tell anyone, until I was sure of who could be trusted.”

“You
couldn’t trust me?” There was no masking the hurt in my voice.

“I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you. In the beginning I wasn’t sure of your part in any of
this, but it became obvious almost right away that you weren’t in on whatever
had happened to Emily. John had insisted as much, but I still had to make sure
for myself, and then I couldn’t have you giving away what I was really up to.
To anyone.”

“So
instead you used me as part of your cover?”

“I
never used you. Like I said, you weren’t part of the plan. Everything that
happened with us was real.”

“So
you want me to believe that getting close to me wasn’t how you planned to catch
this guy?”

“I
could have just as easily stayed in the shadows and gotten the information I
needed that way. I just couldn’t. You were hurting so much those first few days
I watched you. I could see that soul deep sadness on your face, but I could
also see you had so much strength. I wanted to get to know you, not for the
case. I’m sorry I had to keep my job a secret, but there were just too many
people close to you. Like Officer Dipshit who’s obsessed with Emily and
couldn’t see that she was kicking him to the curb, and that wannabe cop that
works for you who seems a little unstable and has been turned down by every
department he’s applied at.

“I
think unstable might be a little harsh, and just because he can’t make it as a
cop, doesn’t make him a criminal. Honestly, my guess is his testing probably
isn’t up to par and that’s the problem.”