Redeeming Her SEAL (ASSIGNMENT: Caribbean Nights Book 9) (12 page)

And he had less than no interest in explaining what the hell he thought he was doing with the woman who had caused the entire team so much grief courtesy of her ex-boyfriend and that flipping report. Mostly he didn’t want to explain it because he didn’t know what he was doing.

She should say no. Dinner had all kinds of implications tied to it that going down on her against a desk did not. Sex he could handle. Anything more than that spelled trouble.

The smile on her face didn’t have that
I’ve already got plans with my sisters
feel to it. “Really? I railroad you into taking me parasailing and your response is to invite me to dinner? You must not be clear how gratitude works.”

The teasing lilt to her tone lit something inside, and he dug his bare toes into the wood planking of the dock to keep himself in place. Otherwise, he might reach for her, and then all bets were off. “You must not remember our first dinner date.”

That had not been what he’d meant to say. But it was already out there, and the atmosphere shimmered with faint threads of how it had once been between them. Was it so bad to wish they could recapture that hot, explosive vibe? Or the feeling as if the world had opened up beneath their feet and anything was possible as long as they were holding onto each other?

Wishing for that wasn’t the same as expecting it. His feet were still firmly on the ground, anchored in reality where the fledging tendrils of their relationship had been severed at the base.

“I remember our first dinner perfectly.” She wiggled her fingers. The same ones she’d used to unzip his pants and slide inside to make herself at home as she explored his erection. “We didn’t eat.”

After she’d given him the hottest hand job of his life, they’d raced each other to the elevator and—barely—made it over the threshold of his hotel room before clothes started hitting the floor.

Thick, hot awareness rolled across his skin. “I’m only asking you to dinner.”

“I know. And I’m only planning on eating. Anything else is a bonus.”

So apparently it was a yes, implications and sisters notwithstanding.

Charlie held on to the promise of a bonus as he and Evan sped back to the other side of the island and tied up at the Town dock. The resort staff who lived in Town mostly walked to work as the path through the middle of the island clocked in at about 1.2 miles, so the team often had the dock to themselves.

“I take it Dr. Reed has become a current event?” Evan asked mildly as they hit the sand between the dock and the walkway into Town.

“Maybe.” Evan didn’t press him. And all at once, Charlie wished he would ask, if only to force a conversation about it. Just because he didn’t spend a lot of time jawing about women didn’t mean that he had all the answers. “Probably not.”

“Seemed like she thinks it’s a current event.”

“Why? What did she say? Did she—” He cursed. One simple comment had turned Charlie into a teenage girl at a sleepover, blathering through an analysis of every word so-and-so had said during study hall. “Jace was hassling her sisters on the beach, and I stepped in. They wanted to go parasailing. End of story.”

“Custer doesn’t hassle chicks. He doesn’t have to.”

Sometimes Evan’s tendency to be short and to the point pissed him off.

“What, are you saying I was looking for an excuse to talk to Audra? I saw her come out of the hotel and walk to the beach. It’s not a crime to notice a redhead. And I was wondering what she was doing at the resort when she has an apartment in Freeport.” He held up a hand to stop the flow of questions. “Not that I’ve been there or anything. I hear things.”

Evan nodded like everything was cool and it was commonplace to know where a woman you weren’t seeing lived. And then Evan just kept walking without saying a word.

“Okay. Fine. Maybe I’m seeing how things go between us. It’s been two years. A lot of stuff’s happened. I’m not an idiot. I haven’t made up a bunch of excuses in my head for how it might go differently this time. I’m still…”
Messed up
. But whenever he touched her, he forgot about black boxes and horrific bloodbaths—and he craved that oblivion. “Look at her. She’s still…”
Everything
. “Gorgeous. There’s nothing wrong with having dinner. Right?”

Evan nodded. Again.

Charlie scowled. “I hate it when you do that.”

He lifted his hands. “Do what?”

“That thing where you let the silence stretch until I can’t stand it anymore and I babble until I hang myself.”

Evan laughed. “Dex complains about that too. Try not to have a guilty conscience next time we talk.”

A novel concept.

How did you ease your guilty conscience when it was eating at you, reminding you every second that
no promises
hadn’t stopped anyone from being hurt the first time around?

Charlie wasn’t any better at forgiving than he’d been at nineteen when Naomi had fallen at his feet, prostate with grief because he couldn’t ignore the fact that she’d screwed his father. She’d cried and begged him to forgive her mistake.

Mistake? That was when you accidentally transposed two numbers on a spreadsheet because you were managing your own books instead of paying an accountant an arm and a leg. A mistake was when you picked up smooth peanut butter instead of crunchy because one of the guys was yammering in your ear about the cute girl behind the register.

Getting naked with someone was a decision. Naomi and Audra had both made theirs. Just like he’d decided to save Audra from the crap he’d carried home from Iraq. Admitting that he wanted to start over didn’t change either of those decisions. But for some reason, everything felt different, and he was looking forward to dinner with a sense of anticipation he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Somehow Charlie managed to take a shower, get dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt, and make it back to the resort without running into anyone he’d shed blood with. A miracle none of the guys were hanging around, but he’d take it.

Audra waited for him outside the upscale restaurant that catered to resort guests. It overlooked the ocean and always provided spectacular views when the sun started to set. Of course he doubted his gaze would stray from his companion very much.

“Hi,” he murmured and kissed her cheek.

She leaned into it and smiled. “Hi. You still clean up well.”

“And I still prefer your clothes on my floor,” he countered instead of telling her how the sight of her in a dress ruffled all his nerve endings. The lines of tonight’s choice fit her angular body like a glove, and all he could think about was peeling the pale yellow fabric from her skin, then following that slow reveal with his mouth.

Maybe they wouldn’t get to the eating portion of the evening this time either.

Unlike the first time they’d dined here, however, they didn’t score a private table courtesy of the owner. Just as well. The less Anderson knew about Charlie and Audra reconnecting, the better.

“I’ve been thinking about what you mentioned to me yesterday,” Audra said once the waiter had handed them menus and discreetly melted away. “In my office.”

“Which part, when I listed all the things I was going to do to you?” Charlie put his menu down because he didn’t want to miss anything if the conversation was about to get dirty. “Or when I said your pleasure is my pleasure?”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Neither one. When you said you were thinking about adding an educational component to your excursions. I like it.”

His brows shot up involuntarily. First she admitted that she wanted to figure out where they were headed, then asked him go parasailing, and now this? “Enough to participate in the design of the program so I can get it past the injunction?”

“The whole point of my report was to protect the area so the dolphins would have an unspoiled area to live their lives. Raise their young.” She put her menu down too and folded her hands over it. “Snorkelers won’t bother them. Construction crews, resort guests and cruise ships would.”

That sounded like the stamp of professional approval to him. If only Rachel could convince the courts to think so as well, Aqueous Adventures would be back in business in no time.

But at what cost?

The waiter came by and took their orders, which Charlie threw out without glancing at the menu. He’d eaten at the resort often enough that he had the menu memorized. Audra didn’t complain, so she must have been okay with his choices. Or she’d wanted the waiter gone as much as he had.

“Are you saying you’ll help me?” he asked cautiously. Because she’d been singing a whole different tune when he’d brought it up before. “I thought you said you had a job.”

“I do. But my job is an extension of who I am. Dolphins are like my family.”

Her pod. He’d always liked the concept she’d presented of dolphins’ group mentality because SEALs were the same. They were a team. Charlie had never left a man behind, and he’d have laid down his life for one of his guys.

But there was more here than just a desire to look out for some dolphins. Why the sudden capitulation? The undercurrents of this conversation started pinging his hot buttons. “What’s in it for you? Is this the part where I volunteer to trade for sexual favors?”

She didn’t laugh. Perfect. He hadn’t meant it to be funny.

“I don’t pretend to understand what drives Jared—”

“Money,” Charlie said flatly. “No matter what it is, trace it back to money, and that’ll give you your answer. Why are we desecrating our date with a conversation about my least favorite person?”

Yeah, the orgasm plan obviously hadn’t worked to remove Anderson as an obstacle between them, because he was still pissed about it. Maybe more so at his former friend than Audra at this point. But he still wasn’t thrilled that the slime had touched her.

She blanched. “I’m sorry. But we can’t spent the rest of our lives never mentioning his name. Can’t we get to a place where he stays in the past where he belongs and we focus on the present?”

“I have absolutely no trouble never saying his name.” A streak of anger heated the back of Charlie’s neck as the undercurrents went a place he definitely didn’t like. “But that’s because I don’t let him into my head. Obviously I’m alone in that respect.”

So this was how it was going be—constantly on the alert for IEDs buried beneath the surface of the conversation. And when someone stepped on one, the carnage would be comprehensive.

Flushing, she threw up her hands. “He’s not in my head. That’s the exact opposite of what I was going to say. He’s ruthless and determined to win whatever game the two of you are playing, and I don’t want to help him to do that. That’s all. I don’t like being manipulated, and I like the idea of being used even less.”

Ah, now they were getting somewhere. “How is he manipulating you?”

“He’s not.” She scowled. “That’s why I had to end things. Because I didn’t want him to.”

“Sure that’s all there is to it?”

Her face caved in and immediately made him feel like crap. He sat back in his seat because this wasn’t an inquest. No one at this table had ISIS secrets to spill, and he didn’t like that he’d jumped straight into interrogation mode. Nor did he like the reason why—she had some kind of secret. He knew it like he knew whether an assault rifle held bullets with one glance. Her secrets just weren’t the kind that jeopardized national security. Neither should he care so much about the shadows in her eyes that said the secrets weren’t the kind that would hurt him but definitely hurt her.

He just didn’t know how to put his chaotic thoughts in order any other way.

“Yes,” she said simply. “I told you I wanted to start over. Honesty is part of it. Weren’t you the one who pointed out that we’re both bad about saying what’s going on inside? I’m trying to change that.”

She could have easily turned that back on him, with another well placed:
Why don’t you try the same?
But she didn’t. In apology, he picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth for a long kiss along the ridge of her knuckle. “Tell me what’s going on inside.”

Tell me why Jared Anderson of all people.
He wanted her secrets. More than that, he wanted her to want to tell him. Intimacy had the potential to provide that platform, and he wasn’t above using it to get answers for the questions that haunted him.

“I can’t think when you do that.” Her eyelashes drifted lower as he moved to the second knuckle. “My brain goes into a coma.”

“Can’t find a thing wrong with that,” he murmured, but just as he was about to suck a finger into his mouth, she pulled away.

“That’s why you can’t do it,” she informed him with a little frown. “Part of starting over means doing things differently. Maybe we should try talking all night instead of jumping immediately into bed.”

Drumming his now-empty fingers on the table, he raised a brow. “We can save the bed for tomorrow if you’d rather. I’m a fan of up against the wall myself, and I’m pretty sure you can get me to talk while I’m pinning you to it.”

“Charlie, please.”

The seriousness in her gaze was the only thing that kept him from blurting out something else provocative like,
Save that kind of talk for later, sweetheart.
Because she was asking him to, he dialed back the heat. “What are we doing then? Being just friends?”

The air quotes might have been a little sarcastic, but he truly didn’t get what she wanted from him. Without sex in the picture, what would they be doing? Lining up for more emotional evisceration? No thank you.

“I don’t know! No, not just friends. I couldn’t stop wanting your mouth on me if I tried.” She blew out a breath and met his gaze squarely, which he appreciated. “Also me being honest.”

“Yeah, I got that.” And it was sweet indeed to hear her say so. Enough that he was willing to hear her out. “So what, we’re taking it slow?”

She nodded with a smile that was a touch too relieved for his tastes. “Slow I could do. Sex complicates everything, and I need uncomplicated right now. Please say you understand.”

It was an echo of their last conversation before he’d left to go back to Coronado. Instead of promises, they’d agreed to take it slow. That hadn’t ended up so well the last time, and he was not a fan of slow in the first place, especially not when it got thrown in the blender with no sex.