Redemption (Book 4, The Redemption Series) (5 page)

“Trust me,” I tell Malcolm. “Let me go down and get the information we need. If she knows where Lucas and Millie are, I’ll get the truth out of her.”

“How exactly?” Malcolm questions, looking troubled. “If you let your anger rule your actions while you’re in Hell, I may not get you back, Anna. I can’t live with losing you too.”

I lean in and hug Malcolm, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I promise you won’t lose me. I’ll be careful. If I feel like I’m losing control of myself, I’ll come straight back here. It’s not like she can follow me.”

Malcolm hugs me tightly to him.

“Ask the bracelet what I’m feeling right now,” he whispers to me. “I want your heart filled with my love before you go down there.”

I do as he asks and immediately feel his love infuse my heart to almost bursting.

I pull back and kiss him on the lips, silently promising that I will return to him as the same woman who is about to leave.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I say just as I pull away and phase back to Hell.

Chapter 5

When I phase into Hell, I’m swallowed up by its darkness. I’m completely disoriented by the blackness surrounding me, like an unyielding shroud of death and hopelessness. The balmy air slithers across my skin as if it’s looking for small cracks in order to gain access to my soul. My mind screams out for me to leave before I lose myself and end up not being able to find my way back home. Yet, my heart urges me to stay to find out what Helena knows about the whereabouts of my loved ones.

Suddenly, I hear the loud, ominous clang that is usually associated with the start of one of Lucifer’s memories. The darkness is quickly chased away by a blinding white light. I shield my eyes against the brightness with my right forearm. Once my eyes adjust to the glare, I find myself standing within a grandiose, coliseum composed of a multitude of large white marble columns. The space is full of angels who look the way human artists have envisioned them for centuries, with white wings jutting out from their backs. Everything within the space is pure white except for the golden throne God is sitting on and the silver, glowing crowns on the heads of the seven angels standing on either side of him. Lucifer’s image is already set within the scene. He’s wearing the same glowing, silver crown, yet it seems like its glow is a little brighter than the rest. I’m not sure if it’s a trick of the light or a real difference. His stance indicates that he’s in midstride as he paces in front of God’s throne.

“Have you lost something, Anna?” I hear the throaty, mocking voice of Helena say next to me.

I quickly look to my left and see her smirking face. She’s wearing the same red sequined dress as before and has her long blonde hair styled in soft waves parted at the side. Her ruby red lips stretch into a half smile as she continues to leer at me.

“Where are Lucas and Millie?” I demand, using every ounce of self-control I have to quell my anger. Giving into it here would do nothing but cause me to become lost in hatred. From the look on Helena’s face, I have no doubt she knows exactly where they are. The truth of that fact is written clearly in her twinkling eyes and wicked smile.

Helena lowers her eyelids almost coquettishly at me as her smile widens to show pearly white teeth.

“I’ll tell you what, Anna,” she says, looking up into my eyes again. “If you stay and watch Lucifer’s memory with me, I’ll tell you who has your loved ones.”

“Are you saying
you
don’t have them?” I ask incredulously, not believing her for one second.

“Oh, I freely admit that I helped the people who
do
have them. I have no reason to lie about that. I simply want your company while I watch Lucifer’s worst memory play out again. It’s always more interesting to see something you yourself have seen a million times before through someone else’s eyes.”

“His worst memory?” I ask in confusion. “I thought his worst memory was the death of my mother.”

“Oh, that one comes in a very close second. There’s barely a hair’s breadth separating the pain of that memory from this one.”

I look back at the scene Helena has already set into place.

“What is this memory?” I ask her but already have a good idea what it will show me.

Helena sighs and shivers slightly as if she’s taking an immense amount of pleasure in just looking upon the scene she has set up in front of us.

“The one that’s haunted poor Lucifer the longest. The memory that tortures his soul the most. He loses everything he ever loved in this moment because his pride simply wouldn’t allow him to admit he was wrong. If you can imagine what pure sorrow feels like, that still wouldn’t be enough to describe how this memory consumes him.”

“This is when he was cast out of Heaven,” I say, not really needing her to confirm my assumption.

“Yes,” she says anyway, drawing the pronunciation of the word out as if she takes great pleasure in the fact. “It’s been a while since I made him relive this one. Your mother’s death is so fresh it’s been a gold mine of sorrow for the last few years. When Lucifer came here to ask me about Lucas and Millie, I naturally assumed you would be coming to make your own inquiries. So, I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to show you your father’s greatest failure through his own eyes.”

I look around at the sea of faces surrounding us but can’t find Lucifer among them.

“Where is he?” I ask, suspicious of his absence.

“He’s right there,” Helena says, looking at the frozen form of Lucifer within the scene itself. “This is the only one of his memories I make him participate in. I think it hurts him more to reenact what he says and does. These are his last moments in Heaven. What he considers the worst day of his life is actually the best day of mine. After the events that take place here, he decides to create me. So, in a way, it’s like celebrating my birthday over and over again every time I watch it. Why, if you think about it Anna, we’re practically sisters.”

“You’re completely demented,” I say in disgust, not even wanting to imagine a concrete connection between Helena and me.

“I am what I was made to be,” Helena says without shame. “My whole purpose in being is to make humans regret the bad choices they made while they were still alive. Though, I have to make a small confession. I think the souls I treasure the most are the ones of your precious Watchers.”

Her statement brings me up short.

“Watchers?” I ask, positive I misheard what she said. “Why would you have any of them?”

Helena’s eyes widen in surprise. “Didn’t anyone tell you that I have a few here in my collection?”

“No,” I admit, not understanding why any Watcher souls would be in Hell.

Helena begins to laugh, a sound similar to the scratching of a thousand razor blades against a smooth, hard surface.    

She looks at me, smiling mischievously as she lifts her left hand and snaps her fingers.

A large stone slab appears in front of us. A man is chained to the segment of rock face with his arms and legs spread so wide I’m surprised they’re even still attached to his body. Sections of his skin and muscle have been ripped away from the bone underneath. My eyes are drawn to the intricate tribal tattoo on the man’s left shoulder. There’s what looks like bite marks hidden within the design that are oozing a yellow-green puss.

Helena walks up to the man and places a delicate index finger underneath his chin to lift his face up.

“Wakey, wakey, Slade. We have a visitor I think you would be very interested in meeting,” Helena croons before leaning in and licking one of Slade’s cheeks.

As her tongue slides across his skin, I hear a sizzling sound and smell the scent of burnt flesh. Slade’s eyes open wide. I see him grimace against the pain, but he doesn’t cry out. I’m not completely sure if it’s just stubbornness that keeps him silent or if he’s simply too exhausted to make a response. His features look haggard, like he hasn’t slept in ages.

Slade looks at Helena with a hatred beyond anything I’ve ever seen anyone display to another person.

“Get the hell away from me you sick, demented bitch,” he says weakly but with conviction.

Helena admonishes Slade by making a clicking sound with her tongue.

“Now is that anyway to speak to me, Slade? After all the fun times we’ve spent with one another over the years, this is how you treat me in front of our guest?”

Helena directs her gaze towards me, keeping her hold on Slade’s face with her index finger underneath his chin. She points his head in my direction so he can see me.

“Look, Slade, it’s the descendant you were supposed to help protect. I wonder if Caylin would find any happiness in knowing you actually
do
get to meet her after all. Too bad you were so weak during your life and unable to live up to your responsibilities as one of Caylin's chosen.”

Slade stares at me for a second, but then lowers his gaze as if looking at me gives him more pain than the physical torture he has endured under Helena's not so gentle care.

“I don't understand,” I admit. “Why is he here?”

Helena releases her hold on Slade and turns to face me.

“Not all of the Watchers were strong enough to fight off their bloodlust. If they died before they could ask for God's forgiveness, their souls were sent here. Slade is a special case though. He was bitten by a hellhound back in the day. He wasn't able to endure the pain and decided to trade in his soul to end it. Poor thing,” she says, turning her head to look at Slade. “If only he had been a little bit stronger, he wouldn't have to live with the same pain for all these years down here.” Helena looks back at me. “Frankly, I'm surprised Malcolm hasn't succumbed to it yet. He's a prize I've been wanting in my collection for quite some time now. All that guilt over killing a few humans,” she laughs. “He'll be a feast for me I'm sure.”

“You will never have his soul,” I tell her vehemently.

“Not really your choice to make, now is it?” she taunts. “But, no matter, things always work out the way they should in the end.”

Helena snaps her fingers again. Slade and the rock face he was chained to disappear, leaving us with only the setting of Lucifer's fall from grace.

Helena walks back over to my side.

“Would you like to know what your father is feeling in this particular scene from his sordid past?” she asks me.

“And how would I do that?”

Helena holds her hand out to me. “I can channel everything he's about to go through into you. If you're brave enough,” she taunts, “I can help you experience everything he does in this moment.”

I look at Helena's hand like a normal person would a viper, cautiously and with great distrust.

I can't deny that I want to better understand Lucifer and feel what he goes through during this event in his life. If I know, perhaps I can help him overcome his grief over being cast out of Heaven by his father. Maybe, I can even help him reach out to God and start a dialogue with Him again. I can't imagine having a fight with my papa, a man who raised and loved me for so many years. Then, to be separated from him for an eternity because of something I did wrong would be torture. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all seek the approval of our parents in the things we do in our lives. Having their support and love drives us to become the best we can be to make them proud of us. I can't imagine the pain Lucifer felt when his own father had to push him away. And I know for a fact it wasn't a one-sided pain.

I take hold of Helena's hand without looking and find it as cold as ice.

She smiles at me approvingly before returning her attention back to the scene in front of us.

“Now,” she says, sounding satisfied, “we're ready to begin.”

The scene is set into motion.

Almost at once, I can feel Lucifer's fury. It practically consumes him as he paces back and forth in front of God. He's ready to make his ultimatum but doubts his father will relent to his demand. He knows that once he speaks his next words there's no going back. But keeping in how he truly feels is no better of a solution for him. He needs to resolve their conflict with each other one way or another.

“It’s time you made a choice,” Lucifer says to God in an overwrought, agitated voice. “Either you prove we mean more to you by destroying the humans, or we will rain fire on their world and destroy them ourselves!”

Lucifer turns to the angels standing within the coliseum and raises his arms high into the air, urging them all to show their support for his demand. Half of the angels cheer him on, fully believing in him, while the other half remains stoically silent. The tension in the air between the two factions of angels seems to manifest itself into an invisible, physical barrier that will forever separate them.

From my connection with Helena, I feel Lucifer's sense of self-righteousness in his demand to God. He sees no reason why his father would side with the humans instead of his first son. He's steadfast in his conviction that the war that almost tore Heaven apart wasn't waged in vain. Surely, his father understands why it had to be fought and what He has to do now to keep the peace among his angels.

“You are asking the impossible, Lucifer,” God says, a great sadness in His voice. “They are the first of their kind, as are you. Asking me to destroy them would be like asking me to destroy you.”

Lucifer’s expression is completely naked as he shows the fury his father’s words have elicited. Angrily, he rushes up to God’s throne with his wings flared out on his back as though he's preparing for an attack. I see his hands grip the throne’s arms tightly, bending them inward slightly with his strength as he pushes his face in to barely an inch away from God.

“Why do you love them more than me?” Lucifer demands of his father. “Haven’t I done everything you have ever asked of me? Why do you refuse the only thing I’ve ever asked of you?”

God raises one of His hands and gently touches the side of Lucifer’s face. Lucifer closes his eyes and his wings lower at the tender show of affection. All he ever wanted was for his father to prove that He loved him more than the human race. Why, after everything he's done for his father, would God turn his back on him? Lucifer felt that he deserved to be loved by his father unreservedly. He was the first sentient creature created by God. Why didn't He love him the most?

“My love for you has no limits,” God says, looking at Lucifer with the sorrow of a disappointed father. “But I will not do what you ask of me.” God lowers His hand back to His lap. “If you are determined to continue on this path, I have no other choice but to banish you and your followers from my sight.”