Redemption: (Dark Desires Book 3) (14 page)

“Valerie? Talk to me Val,” begged
Vladimir.

Valerie was out of tears to cry
and now stared at the ceiling. Vlad's head rested in the crook of her neck, and
his arms were tightly wrapped around her as if to prevent her from going
anywhere. She couldn't even if she wanted to. The doctor had explicitly told
her to stay off her injured foot for a few days. What did he want her to say?
I'm sorry you had to kill people to make things right? No, that was a bit too
contrived. How about, do you do this often? Nope, that didn’t sound right
either.

Why did he feel the need to go
to such lengths? She knew he had a dark past based on the small details he had
shared with her. How deep did his scars run and did she wanted to know? No. No,
she didn't want to find out. She just wanted him to stop. He needed
professional help. No person in their right mind killed people regardless of
their motives.

Vladimir lifted his head to
look at his wife. Had he lost her? He would do whatever it took to get her
back. She just needed to look at him or say something. Anything. He would
rather hear her shout at him; call him a murderer, a monster, anything. He just
needed to hear her voice. He placed his hand on her cheek. "Please…
Anything," he begged again. She looked at him for a second and closed her
eyes. "Don't shut me out. Please. Please!" he begged as tears of
sorrow flowed unchecked for the second time in his adult life. He rested his
forehead against hers. "I have no one. Do you understand that? If you
leave, I'll have no one. You're the only person that loves me. The only person
that’s ever loved me.”

A soft hand brushed his tears
away as they fell. He hated being this weak in front her. It was pathetic. He
was meant to be a source of strength for her, for everyone who depended on him,
but at this moment, his fortitude cracked. Vlad opened his eyes to see if she
thought any less of him. If the love he'd always found when she looked at him had
died today.

Valerie stared into his blue
eyes and looked, really looked, at the man she had chosen to bind herself to.
For the first time, she saw the pain and anguish. She saw that little boy that
had to grow up too early in life, and the man who had never learnt right from
wrong; a man who only knew how to survive.

If it was possible, she loved
him more now than she had a few hours ago. Not because he had killed for her,
not because he was begging to keep their marriage alive, but because this was
the most sincere side of Vladimir. He'd laid himself bare, and she accepted him
with all his faults. She may have also lost her mind somewhere along the way
because she still wanted to be with him.

She should be running for the
hills. She should pack up and leave - she had her children to consider. How
could she leave when he was so vulnerable and needed her; when she needed him?
She loved him so much that it hurt to look at him and think about never seeing
him again. Staying and hoping that he could turn over a new leaf was wishful
thinking on her part. They had issues that they needed to resolve if they were
going to make their marriage work.

“Vlad I– ”

“Anything. Name it and I'll do
it. If it means that you’ll stay, I will agree to it.”

“Counselling," she said.
That was the only solution. “For you and our marriage. You need to see a
professional about the murders, and we need to learn how to function as a
healthy couple. What Keyaan did has affected us both. It’s damaged a part of
our relationship that we can't fix alone. If you agree, then I'll stay. I have
to know that my choice to stay with you won't affect the children."

Vladimir thought about what she
was saying. She wanted him to bare his soul to a complete stranger who would
never understand what he had been through and the things he'd done. If he
weren't committed to an asylum, then he would probably be arrested. Why had she
made the suggestion knowing that he'd murdered people in cold blood? It had all
been premeditated.

“I can’t. I’d go to prison.”

“You have resources at your
disposal. Can’t you find one who will keep
everything
you have to say
confidential?”

He could, but the real question
was whether he was willing to let someone fuck with his mind. Other than Raven
and Andrei, no one else knew about the intimate details and struggles of his
earlier life. And the only reason that they were privy to that knowledge was
that they'd grown up together and borne witness to it. He didn’t even have
enough faith in his wife’s love to tell her the whole, gory truth. How was he
supposed to trust a complete he paid to listen to him? Vlad could see this
ending disastrously.

Watching the internal struggle
play out in his eyes as he thought about going to therapy, Valerie broke into
his thoughts. "You forced me to see a psychologist after I was raped. It
took me a while before I told her about what had happened. When I felt
comfortable enough to talk about it, I started to heal."

She had thrown him a rope. He
didn’t know whether it was to help him up or to hang himself. “If I agree, you
won't file for divorce?"

“Yes,” said Valerie without
hesitation. “But you have to try when you’re there. You have to want to get
better; it won't work if you're not willing to try."

He looked at her, doubting
whether this would work. Her eyes radiated sincerity in their request. Fine. If
this is what it took to get them back to where they had been when they first
moved into the beach house, then he would do it. “Okay, I’ll go.”

"If I even suspect that
you're blowing smoke up my ass about your sessions then all bets are off. I
will leave, and I will take out a restraining order against you if you try and
stop me. Understood?" Yes, the threat was severe, but she had gotten to
know Vlad a whole lot better since leaving Saudi. No one could make him do anything
he didn't want to. Therapy was a long shot. However, she couldn't think of
anything else that could help them at this point.

"I will try. I
promise," Vlad agreed. If he wanted to stay with her, then he had to try.
Even though there was no restraining order in the world that could keep him
away from her, he wanted Valerie to stay by choice. Vladimir would grab the final
opportunity she was offering him with both hands.

*****

Vlad had thought that by simply
agreeing to Valerie's request that he had his wife back. Sadly, that was not
the case. Her ring finger remained bare, and the jewel sat on her bedside table
where he had left it after the doctor had walked in. He would have delayed the
whole thing until they returned to Cape Town were she not playing
hardball. 

Since she would be on bedrest
for a few days, he looked up a few psychologists in Moscow and ran a thorough
background check on each candidate. He had jeopardised his relationship with
Mike who was responsible for this line of work. Even if they still had a
working relationship, he doubted he would have asked his associate to look into
a personal matter of this level. The man already thought he was demented. This
would be the final nail in his coffin.

Vladimir was looking for
someone that was both qualified and trustworthy, as trustworthy as money could
buy. Fortunately for him, they were in Russia and people of that calibre were
available in abundance.

The following day he found
himself sitting across from Dr Sergei Chevchenko. He was annoyed his search
last night had led him to a psychiatrist for starters because he didn’t need
any meds, and he was annoyed right now that the man was already scribbling on
his notepad when he had yet to say a word.

“What are you writing?”

“Just making a few notes for
myself.” Dr Chevchenko placed the notepad on the table next to his seat and
leant forward. "What can I help you with?"

“Housekeeping first. Everything
said in this room, stays in this room
da
?”
yes
?

“That is correct.”

"And if my files were to
'accidently' slip into the wrong hands?"

“It won’t. Think of me as your
priest. I can’t even echo your crimes outside of these four walls.”

Vlad leant back in the chair
and gave him a hard stare. He had no qualms about snapping his neck if his
profession weren't worth the air that carried his voice. He would test him to
see if he was worth the hefty price tag. "I'm here at my wife's insistence."

“So you don’t think you need
help?”

“I need help alright. I need
you to explain to me why my wife decided to keep the children fathered by her
rapist.”

“Has your wife sought
counselling of her own regarding this matter?”

“Yes. Which makes me question
what the hell it is that you people do if those are the poor choices you allow
your patients to make.”

"You have your wires
crossed Vladimir. We don't 'allow' our patients to do anything. We don't hold
any power over you to either allow or deny your requests. Unless you want to be
placed under my psychiatric care?” Vladimir shot him a withering look and Chevchenko
swiftly moved on. “What we do is guide you towards the answers you seek or help
you come to terms with the decisions you've already made."

Vladimir smirked at the man in
front of him. Just as he'd suspected, this was all bullshit, a waste of his
time and his money. He stood up and buttoned his suit jacket. "Thank you
for giving me fuck-all and wasting my time. I've learnt a hell of a lot."

As he opened the door to leave
Dr Chevchenko spoke, “I can see why your wife insisted you come. You harbour a
lot of resentment for things that are beyond your control.”

Vlad tightened his hand around
the door knob. He gripped it so tightly his knuckles turned white. He should
shoot the man on principle alone. He didn't know him. Who the hell was
Chevchenko to judge him based on a five-minute word exchange? He had no idea
who he was dealing with.

Dr Chevchenko wasn't surprised
at all by Vladimir's reluctance to open up to him. He worked with clients of
Vladimir's calibre; men who performed depraved, despicable acts and came to him
to wash it all away. Very little surprised him at this stage in his career.
“Nothing that is said here is set in stone. Think of our first session as a
conversation. Feel free to tell me how you feel."

Vlad was already halfway out of
the door. He should have walked out and put an end to this game of charades. He
could play along and tell him what he wanted to hear. Surely, people who had to
complete mandatory evaluations did the same. However, he'd made Valerie a
promise. He would keep it to save their relationship. Chevchenko's skills would
have to do the rest. Right now he was ready to get this hour over with and go
home.

“
Fine.” He went back to his
seat. “Let’s talk. I’m here because my wife asked me for a divorce.”

“Why does she want a divorce?”

“Ah! Let’s see.” He crossed his
leg over his knee. “I went on a killing spree to exterminate the men that had
kidnapped her and inadvertently played accomplice to her rape, which in turn led
to me not being there with her to enjoy our honeymoon.”

"Why do you personally
feel the need to exterminate these people, as you put it?"

"Because I'm the one who
left her unprotected knowing that once you're in my line of business you never
really get out. If I hadn't been so selfish in my desires and left her alone,
she would be living a normal life. She is not the kind of woman men like me can
keep."

"Tell me about your wife. If
she's not the kind of woman men like you keep, then what about her puts you out
of reach?"

Vlad could already see where
this was going. She was kind and untainted by the world. She believed in the goodness
of people even though it may not existent in most. He, on the other hand, had
seen first-hand the filth of man. The world only existed in two shades; The
people like him and the people like her. They were mutually exclusive. He
thought all of these things and chose not to say a word.

“What about your marriage?”

What about his marriage? They
had only signed their marriage contract two weeks ago, and she had already had
enough. On the surface of it all, he could liken it to Valerie signing a deal
with the devil – the contract was unbreakable. The core, however, came down to
the fact that he needed her more than she needed him. Valerie kept him sane. He
had always risked his life whether he knew it or not. There was nothing worth
living for until Vlad met her. She grounded him and gave him a place to call
home when he gave up on the notion of such a place, or feeling, a long time
ago. No, he would not talk about his marriage either.

"I'll give you a simple
question that I'm sure you're capable of answering. What is your goal in coming
here?"

“I want her to stay with me.”

“And the children. If she's
made the choice to keep them, then they're part of the package you're fighting
so valiantly for by being here. She's developed a bond with them which is
perfectly natural between mother and child. Would it not worry you if she
hadn't?