Redemption (Iris Series) (17 page)

“I can eat them in here,” he said right behind her.

She nearly dropped the milk, she was so startled.

“Fuck!  You scared the shit out of me.”  She put the milk and cookies down on the counter, and put her hand over her heart to catch her breath.  “I didn’t even hear you.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled.  “I just figured since I wasn’t going to be staying long, I’d stand here and eat them.”

She felt a little deflated at that news.  “So, you only want me for my cookie?” she smirked.

He angled himself so that he was backing her into the counter. 

“Among other things,” he murmured.

Once she was leaning against
the counter and he was towering over her, he grabbed an Oreo, unscrewed it, and took a very long lick at the center. His eyes were gleaming.  When he was done, he threw the chocolate outer pieces into his mouth and chewed.

Mesmerized during the whole exhibition, she finally came out of it when she heard the crunch.

“You’re going to pin me to this counter and make me watch you eat Oreos?”  She sounded snarky.  He was turning her on and he knew it. 

And knowing he had B.O.B. in an undisclosed location, and probably wouldn’t give her a repeat performance of the morning phone call, she was feeling a little out of sorts.

He nodded slowly, then took the second cookie and proceeded to do the same with it, this time making swirls in the cream with his tongue while he watched her intently.

She huffed out a breath, her wet sex a throbbing mess.  She wanted that tongue on
her
.  Her hands were itching to grab his face and devour him and the cookie.  Whole.

He finished the second one, then licked his lips and took a sip of the milk.  “Thank you.”

“Well,” she said, a little pissed, “anything else I can do for you?”

His eyes looked at her tenderly, then he lifted a finger to stroke her cheek.

“Do you wanna know something?” he asked quietly.  “I wanted to come see you.  The cookies were just an excuse.”

“Why
did you want to come see me?” she asked, totally pouting.

“I missed you,” he frowned, as if not thrilled with that realizatio
n.  “And I can’t stay. It’s nighttime, you’re looking especially fuckable, and if I’m going to make it through the rules of no sleepovers I definitely shouldn’t stay long.  That phone call this morning nearly did me in, Yan,” he said.  “It’s probably not wise to do that often.”

She wanted him, and was cursing that she still had 12 days to go.

“Well,” she began trying to lighten the mood, “if you hadn’t taken B.O.B., it wouldn’t have been a problem.”  She narrowed her gaze up at him.  “When on earth did you even take it?” she asked, exasperated.

He smiled his lazy smile.  “Last night when you were in the bathroom.”

“Bastard,” she muttered.

He chuckled and touched his finger to her bottom lip.  “I didn’t mean to make things more difficult for you tonight.  I just,” he sighed, “I just needed to see you.  For a couple of minutes.  But now I think I should go.”

“Fine,” she said disgruntled.  She pushed him away from her and walked out of the kitchen to the front door.  “You’re going to make me crazy, you know that?”   

He followed her and slammed his hand on the door before she could open it.  He was close behind her when she turned around and leaned against the door.

“Do you want to change the rules a bit?” he asked quietly. 

She couldn’t tell by his facial expression if he wanted to or not.

She growled.  “I’m just frustrated, okay?  This is hard for me.”

“Tell me about it,” he muttered.

She blew out a breath and put her head back on the door.  “Look, I’m just gonna be honest, alright?  I’m turned on, I really want you, and at the same time I want to do this 40 days thing.  But I’m feeling,” she hesitated then sighed, “vulnerable.”  She looked down.  “I don’t want to fuck this up, Jon.”

“Come here.”  He reached his arms around her, pulled her in, and hugged her tight.  It wasn’t sexual at all.  It was comforting.  It felt...nice.  Safe.  Like something she’d never felt before.

As her own arms encircled his waist, she relaxed and pressed her forehead into his neck while he brought his hand up to he back of her head.  He stroked her hair there, soothing her.

“Listen,” his voice muffled a bit, “we’re both adults.  We both want to go at each other like animals,” he said gruffly, “and we both want you to succeed while you figure out some things about yourself.  These are the facts.  We
also know that we won’t be having sex until Day 41.” 

She wanted to jump for joy.  He wanted to have sex with her on Day 41
. She suspected, and he certainly had implied it, but hearing him say it was another thing. She stopped herself for a second. She needed to know what he was thinking, so she pulled her head back to look at him.

“You know,” she hesitated, “it’s not written anywhere that
you
have to wait to have sex. I don’t want you to feel—”

“Stop.” He put his finger on her lips. “What I
feel is that I want to wait to have sex. With
you.
”

“Jon,” she whispered overcome with emotion. She really
really
wanted this man.

He smiled sweetly, rubbing her lip with his finger.
“So, we need to get serious about our rules.  And we need to both make them attainable.”

“For instance?” she prompted, resting her face in the crook of his neck.

“Well,” he played with her hair, “this is nice.  I think we can both handle holding each other like this.”

“This
is
nice,” she sighed contentedly.

“
And
I’d like to think that we can control ourselves if we wanted to kiss each other.  How do you feel about that?”

She leaned away from him slightly and looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t kidding.  She noted the seriousness in his eyes, and said, “Yes, I definitely want to kiss,” she whispered, then pleaded him with her look.

“That’s good,” he whispered back.  “Because I was gonna put my foot down about that one.”

With his arms still around her, he slowly walked her back a step to press her lightly to the front door then he leaned down and melded his mouth to hers.

His lips were just as she remembered them.  Soft but firm. 

He took her bottom lip between his own lips and sucked it into his mouth while one hand was buried in her hair
and tugging at it so he could angle the kiss to his liking.  His other arm still encircled her waist.

He began to slowly consume her mouth and she was thankful for the support of his arm and the door, otherwise she’d likely
slide the floor.  He tasted and smelled so good. 

He tasted like Oreos.  They were quickly becoming her new favorite food.

She reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, just as he deepened the kiss and began to dip his tongue into her mouth more aggressively, pulling her head back even more, then kissing and sucking down her neck.  They both moaned at the same time.

She ran her fingers up through his hair and anchored her hands in it while he continued kissing down her neck, sucking at the skin of her collarbone.  Her eyes were rolling back into her head
and her nipples were tingling like mad, screaming for him to touch them.

He began licking and nibbling at the other side of her neck, making his way back to her lips, plundering them again, biting and licking.  He pressed her back into the door and ground his hard cock into her, growling.  Abruptly, he stopped kissing her, rested his forehead on hers, his hands now gripping her head and hair as if it were a lifeline.

They were both gulping for air, their sounds of exertion mingling as they tried to calm their raging hormones and heart rates.

Jonathan was taking cleansing breaths
as he continued his slow methodical grind into her sex.  She would happily come just like this if he didn’t stop. 

“Jon,” she gasped and moaned, pushing her sex into his.  She was biting her lower lip trying to maintain control, but she didn’t know how much longer she could hold back her orgasm.

He didn’t stop grinding and moved his mouth to her ear, nipping her there.  “Can you feel how much I want you, Yan?” his voice gruff.  “You.  I want you
.
”

She whimpered.  “Yesss.  I want you, too.  Only you,” she moaned.

He nipped at her ear again.  “I want to watch you come,” he whispered, his breath tickling her hair.  He continued his grind.

“Oh, God,” she gasped.  “
We need to stop,” practically sobbing, she was so ready.

“I feel like I’m bad for you, like I’m waving alcohol in front of an alcoholic,” he moaned.
  “I’ve been thinking about you ever since we got off the phone this morning, how I wished I was here to watch you, watch you shatter,” he murmured.

“God,” she breathed.  “Please, Jon.  Don’t think less of me for wanting this,” she let out a frustrated moan, and gyrated her hips into his, dry humping him like they were horny teenagers. 

Why the hell was she taking a 40 day break from sex?  Oh yeah.  This self-reflection stuff was for shit.

He stopped their movements momentarily and gripped her hair so she would look at him
.
 
Her eyes felt heavy with lust and she looked into his precious face as he looked down at her so seriously.

“I would never think less of you for wanting this.  Promise me
you
won’t think less of you for wanting this,” he whispered vehemently.  “I’m so fucking proud of you for your decisions, for what you’re doing.  I respect you more than you know, and I don’t want our mutual desire for each other to make you feel
bad about yourself, do you hear me?”  He shook her face slightly.  “Don’t ever think that me wanting you, or you wanting me is a bad thing.  Our discovery just came at a difficult time, that’s all.”

She blinked back a sudden rush of tears. 
I love you
, she wanted to say.

“I don’t want you to think that I only want you for a quick fuck, Jon. There’s so much more to what I feel for you than that.” She touched his face. “I really do
like you. I want to spend time with you. There’s been no other man in my life who has treated me with such respect or care than you. I’ve always wanted a good man and from the moment I saw you, I wanted you. Ryann had told me about you for almost two years and I always thought how great it would’ve been for her to get together with this wonderful man she described. And I was secretly a little jealous because I know she would’ve deserved him.”

He interrupted her.

“Shh.
You
deserve a good man. You need to believe that. I’m not a perfect man, Yan. Please don’t put me on a pedestal, but you deserve happiness too.  And just for the record, I’m thrilled you want me for more than a quick fuck.” Then he added dryly, “And I’m also thrilled you
do
want me for a quick fuck.”

They both chuckled.

“Can we have this for now?” she said in a small voice, showing her uncertainty.  She pushed her hips into him again.  “Just this.  Holding each other, kissing.  I’ll still be reflecting for the next 12 days, but can we have this, too?  Not sex, just,” she paused, but didn’t finish her thought.  “You make me feel better than I’ve ever felt with another man, Jon,” she whispered.  “On every level.  I want to feel connected to you in some way, and the way you touch me, the way you make me feel…”  She blew out a breath and self-deprecating laugh.  “It might help with my self-reflection.”

He chuckled.  “I fuckin’
—” He started to say something, but then finished with, “think you’re the cutest thing in the world, you little sex goddess,” he stuttered, then swallowed.  

“That’s a good thing, right?  I don’t want you to think
,” she swallowed, too, “that I’m a slut.”

He shook her face again with his hands.  “You need to get that thinking out of your head, okay?  Your past is done,
and your future is open and ahead of you.  All new for you to dictate how you want it to be.  And I certainly wasn’t a monk, Yan.  If you’re okay with what we’re doing right now, I’m okay with it, too.”  He leaned down and kissed her softly.  “
Are
you?”

“Oh, yeah…”  She hesitated.  “I just don’t want you to think less of me.”

“Why would I think less of you for wanting me?  You twist me into knots, that’s how much I want you.”  He ground his hips into her again
.
 
“So fucking beautiful.  I can’t wait for Day 41, to be inside you when you come, baby.  It’s gonna be incredible.” 

He was still hard as a rock and she felt a moment of guilt.
  He leaned against her on the door and waited for their breathing to calm, his nose nestled into her hair by her neck.  His jaw was clenched tight and she reached up her hand to soothe it.  He relaxed, but swallowed several times before he spoke.