Reeve (The Phoenix Boys #3) (20 page)

“Yes, please. Can I have a Jack and Coke please?” She gives me a quick nod and walks away. I sit and people watch while waiting for Reeve. I am not sure how much time passes but Reeve still isn’t here yet and I am on my second drink. I take my phone out of my bag and check the time. Shit, Reeve is thirty minutes late, where the hell is he? I send him a quick text but get nothing back. I am so going to kick his arse for him, I bet he got lost in the music with the boys and forgot about our date.

Waiting for a little while longer, I am pissed, so I throw some money down on the table and walk outside into the warm muggy LA air. I check my phone again but nothing. He had better have a good reason for standing me up. I scroll through my contacts and press his name to call him, all the while my stomach starts feeling like lead.

The phone rings and rings but then someone answers and it isn’t Reeve. My stomach hits an all-time low, my body turns ice cold. Oh My God.

“Hello.” She answers with laughter in her voice. My skin prickles.

“Baby, come back over here, I want round two or is it three?” Comes his voice. The man I love is with another woman. I feel my nose burn with building tears and my throat tightens. Fucking bastard. How could he? Music is playing in the background so I assume they are still at the studio.

“You are insatiable, baby.” She giggles. I hang up the phone and just stare at it through blurry eyes. My body feels like lead, I simply can’t move a muscle.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?” Comes a soft voice from beside me. I turn to the voice and see a young couple looking at me with concern.

“Umm… I...ummm. He. Oh God how could… he?” I hiccup through my sobs. The girl wraps her arms around me and soothes my sobs but nothing with soothe this pain away.

“Marcus, call a cab for her,” The woman says.

“I don’t think she is any state to be put in a cab, babe. We can take her home, Scar.”

“What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Leah,” I whisper.

“Ok, hi, Leah my name is Scarlett and this is my husband, Marcus. We will give you a ride home, where do you live, honey?” I give them Lucy’s address but don’t say anything else. I don’t even remember getting into their car, I think Marcus might have carried me but just don’t know, nothing is registering with my body. I walk into the apartment and walk straight to the bedroom, grabbing my suitcases from the closet and flinging them on the bed. I don’t even fold my clothes, I just chuck them in and pile with my shoes and everything else that I want to take back home to Cardiff with me. I pick up a photo from on top of the dresser; it’s a photo we had taken with all of us in when were at the beach. My chest tightens and I fall to my knees, gripping the frame to my chest. Fuck this pain is all consuming, how the fucking hell am I going to survive this? How the living fuck am I going to survive Reeve fucking Phoenix? Anger boils in me and I send the frame flying across the room, smashing it against the wall. I just don’t fucking care anymore. I need out of here and away from everything that is him. He has fucking ruined me.

I knew I was never fucking good enough for him.

I drag my luggage out of my room and a see a photo of Rafe, Juicy and the girls and my heart sinks even more. How will I cope not seeing Juicy or Rowan and Lyric every day? Oh God, Demi. I really fucking hate him; how could he do this? I take the notebook from the coffee table and write a note.

Juicy and Rafe

First I just want to say thank you for everything that you have done for me, you being in my life means more to me than you know. I will miss you all every single day until I see you again. I just don’t know when that will be. You both helped me see the person that I truly am, you helped me love again even though now that is broken, shattered even (ask Reeve) I have to go home, I will email when I arrive safe.

I will always love you all and miss you every day. I will stay in touch. Please tell everyone goodbye from me and give Demi a cwtch from me also.

Give Rowan and Lyric a big kiss and cwtch from me.

I truly love you both.

Leah. <3

My heart rips in two and there is only one man to blame. I place Juicy’s letter to the side and decide to write Reeve one of his own, I need to let him know what he has done to me, to my heart. Taking a deep breath, I start writing.

Reeve

I truly thought that you were the one for me, you showed me that even though we may not feel good enough to love or be loved, that we truly are. You have helped me see that I was enough and that I can be loved and in a split second you tore that from me. You have left me shattered and shamed. You have shown me that I will never be enough for anyone. Fuck you very much for that by the way. I am going home, back to Wales and really suggest that you don’t contact me again. It will be too hard to hear from you, even though I hate you right now.

What I will ask is that when you truly find your right Inside Noise that you will love her with all of your heart because, Reeve, you are enough and I am sorry that I wasn’t enough for you.

With all this hurt flowing through me, I hope that one day I will feel enough for a man to love, I just wish that man was you.

Goodbye Reeve.

Sobs wrack my body and I fall back against the kitchen counter. I don’t know long I stand there staring at nothing in particular. I take deep breaths, willing my breathing to calm down enough to leave. I take one more look around the room and walk towards the door with my luggage in tow. I call a taxi and wait for it to arrive. Luckily, it doesn’t take long and I am on my way to the airport. I call the airline and pray that they can get me on a flight as soon as possible; I need the distance from this place, and back home to reality. The next flight is a connecting flight so I don’t have to wait long, which makes the relief flood my body.

This time in LA with always be the most treasured moments of my life, meeting everyone, seeing the twins being born. And finding love, even though the love shattered me. I sit in the airport and people watch, their lives looking perfect to everyone on the outside but knowing how they are feeling on the inside, just like me. I look like the typical tourist but on the inside I am completely shattered and feeling cold and naked with emotion. I take my earbuds out of my bag and place them in my ears and settle into my seat and listen to music. The Script’s ‘No Good in Goodbye’ plays and the lyrics sit heavy on my heart.

‘Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?

Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?

Where's the "us" in "trust gone"?

Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?

Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"

'Cause I don't own you only

I can take this mistake

But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

No, I can't take the ache from heartbreak’

During the two connecting flights I do nothing but sleep. My body is aching from all the emotions and I just crash. The bus ride from Heathrow down to Cardiff is long but comfortable. The whole bus ride was mixed with so many emotions. Anger at Reeve for hurting me the way he did, he just simply threw me away. The pain and longing of not seeing all the amazing new friends that I made there. Skeet, oh my boyo Skeet, by Christ I am going to miss him. The girls and their witty ways and sassy mouths. I love them all and one day I hope that I will get to see them again. One day.

I listen to Natalie Imbrulia’s ‘Torn’ on the bus and the words hit my soul; it’s the perfect song that explains how Reeve left me feeling. But for now, I am just happy to be back home in Wales. Ok, the weather is shit, but I am used to it even after spending weeks in the beautiful LA sun. I climb off the bus and see Ryan standing there waiting for me, in his uniform. God, he looks so handsome in his police uniform. That was one little tidbit I forgot to tell Reeve.

“Ryan,” I say, my voice cracking with emotion. He wraps his arms around me.

“Shhh, Leah it will be fine. You are strong and you will get over this, over him. You are an Adams and we don’t let any fucker keep us down, now do we?” I shake my head no and bury my face back in my brother’s chest and he smells like home.

Home. I am not really sure where that is at this moment in time.

Chapter 21

Reeve

Fucking old man driver, I am pretty fucking sure that once a person hits a certain age they should be made to give up their license. My poor baby, she has a freaking dent in her side. I cannot believe the guy hit my car. Not only that, but I left my damned phone at the studio so I couldn’t call Lipsy and let her know I would be late. I can’t even call my brothers to call Lipsy for me. Fuck, this night couldn’t get any worse. The police come and take all of our details and lucky enough for me, my car is still drivable. I speed to the restaurant in no time, walking straight past the hostess, ignoring her attempts to stop me. I look around the room but don’t see my girl anywhere. Where the hell is she? I check the time on my watch and see that I am over an hour late for our date. Oh fuck, she is going to rip my balls off and feed them to me, I just know.

Fucking shit.

I walk back to the hostess. “My name is Reeve Phoenix and I had a table booked here tonight but I am late, do you know if my girlfriend left?”

“Yeah, she was here but she left a little while ago. I saw a couple help her to their car,” she says and walks away. Helped her into their car? What the hell?

“What do you mean, they helped her into their car? Was she ok?” I follow after her.

“She was upset after making a phone call, she left with them.” Well, fucking shit.

“Hey, can I use the phone here please, I really need to make a call?”  She nods; it must be the desperation on my face that she sees and she shows me to the phone.

“Yo, bro. How’s the date?” Rafe answers.

“Rafe, please tell me that Lipsy is with you and the girls.”

“No, I thought you would be on your date by now. What the fuck has happened, Reeve?”

“I left my phone at the studio and then I got into a little car accident so I couldn’t let Leah know that I was going to be late. She left the restaurant in tears, Rafe. Some couple took her in their car. I am heading to your place now, meet me there.” Time doesn’t go fast enough as I drive to my brother’s place, praying that I find a very pissed off Lipsy, ready to ream me. Fuck, please God, let her be ok. I pull up outside the apartment building, turning off the engine and jumping out of the car.  I run as fast I can up to the apartment, I don’t even lock my car. I get to the door and unlock it quickly. Swinging the door open, I am met with total silence. Total emptiness fills the apartment; even with all the furniture in here it feels empty and that’swhen I know that something is wron
g.
I run to the room she has been staying in.

“Lipsy.” I say as I open the door and my heart stops. The blood running through my body runs cold. I scan the room, thinking that in the flurry of trying to get here that my mind is playing tricks on me. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and try to shake the scene before me.

The empty room.

The closet door is open and I can see that her clothes are not in there, some hangers are on the floor, she packed in a rush. The drawers are still open, but also empty. I walk into the room and see that her suitcases are gone, she has literally packed up and fucking left me. What the fuck happened? I turn to see Rafe and Juicy standing at the door. Juicy is crying and Rafe looks like he could murder me. Dread fills me.

“What the fuck happened? Where the hell would she go? Did something happen back home and she left?” I throw every question that comes to mind at them both. I see Juicy is holding a piece of paper in her hand. My heart beats faster than it should be, something must be wrong back home. She must be so fucking scared and she could not get a hold of me because I left my phone at the studio.