Refracted (The Celadon Circle Book 2) (17 page)

There was complete silence as Gabriel finished the passage. He had a feeling that, like him, the twins were afraid to speak – and really, what could they say? From their ashen pallor and grim expressions, both boys understood what he’d read.

A war was coming and, if Jordan was indeed a
Paladin
, her fall would signify the beginning. Her death would be the end.

Chapter Nineteen

Jordan

They headed south on road 550 which would eventually become Big Bay road. Jordan hoped to make it to Wausau before they had to stop for the night but that would depend on the weather, which was not cooperating. After all their careful planning the day before, buying supplies, making sure the SUV was packed, and mapping out the first leg of their trip, they had already fallen behind schedule. She mentally kicked herself every time the wind swooped down off the mountain and blinded them with heavy snowfall that was not supposed to hit until much later in the evening.

And I still didn’t get to talk to Mazie.

Jordan, along with Aamon, Ivy, and Xander, had searched the house and surrounding wood. Her voice was still hoarse from calling her little sister’s name repeatedly with no results. After three hours of Ivy’s incessant complaints that Mazie was acting like a brat, would get over it, and they needed to haul ass, Jordan had conceded defeat. With a heavy heart and guilty conscience, she’d climbed into the car – after Aamon promised to have Mazie give her a call later on.

“She’s upset,” he said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “Ivy’s right; she’ll come around.”

Jordan wasn’t so sure.

Mazie hadn’t uttered one word to her since the episode in the kitchen. She’d spent an hour the night before begging outside her locked bedroom door. Her pleas had gone unanswered by the headstrong girl.

She hates me.

A gust of wind rocked the SUV and Jordan’s thoughts momentarily shifted to the weather. The storm had not abated, but wasn’t any worse, either. Thank God for small miracles. With any luck, they would be out of the worst of it soon.

A quick glance showed Ivy stretched out on the backseat with earbuds in place. Eyes closed, she drummed her fingers to the music. Beside Jordan, Xander drove with the confidence of someone who faced dangerous storms almost every day, and maybe he did.

Jordan still didn’t know much about him. They hadn’t had many chances to talk since their return from Orias’ house. Still, just being in the same room with him made her feel warm, comfortable.  She’d spent some time pondering why that was. Xander was like her favorite pair of pajamas back at the farmhouse. They were soft, worn, and fit just right. Even now, she could remember how they felt against her skin. After a long day, she’d take a hot bath, slip them on, and her mind and body would sigh with relief. They were familiar.

When she looked at him, Jordan found his blue eyes glancing back. He winked before turning his gaze back to the road. She wanted to talk to him, to understand him in hopes of making sense of the bizarre feelings he evoked, but didn’t know where to start.

Out of nowhere, tears welled in her eyes and she turned to the passenger-side window to hide them. Other than her brothers, Jordan’s experience with casual conversation where guys were concerned was almost nil. She could hardly count Tucker, her one and only kind-of-boyfriend when she was 15.

<><><>

His father owned the grocery store in town and he worked there after school and on weekends. Jordan used to drive Uncle Case’s land yacht of a car to do the shopping (thank God for small towns and a sheriff who looked the other way) and Tucker followed her up and down the aisles like a lost puppy. He was cute, with hair the color of summer wheat and hazel eyes. His smile was easy, and he kept to safe subjects like books and farming when they talked. After weeks of helping her grocery shop while his father yelled for him to get back to work, Tucker managed to finagle an afternoon of horseback riding.

He arrived at the farmhouse right on time. Jordan spent all morning searching through her meager wardrobe for something nice to wear, putting on makeup only to scrub it off, and missing her mother. She had no idea what she was doing, no girlfriends to confer with – hell, she didn’t even read teen magazines. Frustrated, she finally slipped on a pair of cut-off jeans, tank top, boots, and thrown her carefully styled hair into a ponytail.

The only positive was that her brothers weren’t there to embarrass her and Uncle Case was busy with the cows. While Tucker backed his beautiful Appaloosa out of the trailer and got her saddled, Jordan went for Archer. They met at the gate to the fields.

To her surprise, the day started out smoothly. Jordan showed Tucker her favorite places on the farm. They talked about movies, horses – those
safe
subjects again. Later, they took a break by the pond, unsaddling the horses to let them rest and graze while they shared a thermos of iced tea, cheese crackers, and apples. In the shade of a white ash tree, Jordan received her first kiss. It was tender, sweet, and took her breath away.

On the way back to the farmhouse she felt as light and carefree as a cloud, sure that Archer’s reins were the only thing keeping her from floating away. It wasn’t until she got to the barn that the pressure began behind her eyes. Jordan hadn’t had a vision in a few days and, with her upcoming first date, didn’t give it a second thought. She was overdue.

It came on fast and she had no time to prepare. She managed to get Archer unsaddled before the vision fell upon her like a tornado and swept her away. When Jordan came to after experiencing a particularly horrifying werewolf attack on a young man, Tucker was there, shaking her, calling her name. She couldn’t see him, but the tremor in his voice made her long for dark corners, somewhere safe from his curious eyes.

She told him she hit her head and passed out, but the fact that she had her eyes open the entire time, probably trembling from the vision and mewling like an injured cat, made the flimsy excuse hard to sell.

When Tucker discovered she was blind, he went into full panic mode. Ignoring Jordan’s protests, he ran for Uncle Case. When she finally got her sight back, the look on Tucker’s face told her there would be no more dates, no more kisses, no more following her around the grocery store. She’d seen it many times before – the shifting eyes that couldn’t meet her own, the flushed skin, the painted-on smile…

He slowly backed away, claiming the need to get home and promising to call. She never heard from him again.

<><><>

Even now, the thought of that day left her feeling empty. It had been one of the best and worst moments of her life.

Jordan leaned her head against the cool window, watching the scenery through a curtain of white. She had thought she had it bad when she was a Seeker for the Circle. Now, she was a
Paladin
– an even worse freak. The hope for some kind of normal life was a pipe dream but still, she couldn’t let it go. Just like those people who buy a weekly lottery ticket when their chances of winning are slim to none.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Xander’s voice was like a life raft. Jordan wanted so badly to reach for it and hang on.

She sighed, turning in her seat. Even in the tarnished light of the car’s interior, she could easily see his profile. Jordan wasn’t so distracted that she couldn’t appreciate how handsome Xander was. Though short, his dark hair had a bit of wave, hinting at soft curls if he’d let it grow longer. His nose sported a small bump on the bridge, but the quirk gave it character. A strong, clean-shaven jaw led to a pair of nicely proportioned lips – the top slightly fuller than the bottom. His chin had a slight trace of a cleft.

“How do I rank?” he asked with a smile. “Is there hope of a girlfriend in my future or should I start making inquiries at monasteries?” His eyes, framed by long lashes, twinkled mischievously.

Jordan longed to reciprocate his teasing but knew that all too familiar path would lead to a dead end. Instead, she asked, “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

His smile disappeared. “I can feel it.”

Jordan nodded. “You’re an empath.”

“No. I can’t feel anyone’s emotions but yours.”

“Why?”

Xander shrugged. “I was hoping you’d know. It’s like I have a connection to you.”

“What do you mean?” Jordan wondered if his feelings ran as deep as her own.

“I can’t explain it.”

“Try.”

The hum of tires on pavement made a soothing backdrop for confessions and secrets. After a quick look in the rearview mirror, he said, “A piece of me I didn’t even know was missing returned the day I met you. For the first time in my life I feel complete – like I finally have a purpose.”

Jordan stared, not sure what to say. Xander gripped the steering wheel, white knuckles standing out sharply beneath his skin.

“What purpose?” she asked barely above a whisper.

“Maybe keeping you safe?” He flexed his fingers. “I don’t understand it anymore than you do.”

Xander touched the back of her hand and she pulled her attention away from the road to look at him. “Why did you pick me for this hunt?” he asked.

Jordan’s first reaction was to repeat what she told his father – Orias would have insisted he go anyway. But Xander had been honest and deserved the same. She struggled to find words that didn’t make her come across like a lovesick girl with a crush. What she felt when she was near him went much deeper, and in a totally different direction, than that.

“Because you feel like home,” she blurted.

Mentally kicking herself, Jordan bit her lip. As blood crept into her cheeks, making them burn, she sent up a silent prayer that Ivy wasn’t listening. Though her sister knew how she felt, talking to Xander was hard enough without an audience. Besides, Ivy was comfortable around people their age. Jordan pictured her rolling her eyes in the back seat and wanted to hurl herself out the passenger door.

There’s no hope for me
, she thought.

Xander’s hand covered her own. “If I had a home, I bet you’d remind me of it, too.”

Resisting the urge to lace her fingers with his, Jordan pulled her hand away, reaching for her bottle of water as an excuse. She took a swig and said, “I thought you lived with Orias.”

He slowed to take a sharp curve. The storm was letting up and Jordan was glad. They might make Wausau after all.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I
live
with Orias and Ava. I’m more like a boarder who doesn’t pay rent.”

“He called you his adopted son.”

“Whatever. He sure as hell doesn’t treat me like one. For the most part, Orias ignores me.” Xander reached for her water and took a long drink. “Not that I care,” he continued, handing the bottle back. “Frankly, I can’t stand him – and I’d like nothing more than to wring Ava’s neck. Talk about needing a straitjacket and some happy meds…” He snorted. “She’s as uptight as a mosquito’s ass in a nosedive.”

From the back seat, Ivy burst out laughing. Soon, Jordan and Xander joined in.

After they settled down, Ivy asked, “What level Cambion are you, Xander?”

He closed his eyes. They glowed green when he opened them. Ivy nodded. He was one step above the lowest level.

That surprised Jordan. She felt certain he’d rank at least as high as Ivy. 

Xander closed his eyes again. When he opened them this time, they glowed red. Again, and they glowed yellow.

Ivy gasped. “Well, that’s something I haven’t seen before. What powers do you have?”

At that, Xander grew quiet. Jaws clenched, he watched the winding road.

Jordan wondered why. He probably knew everything there was to know about her from Orias, and Ivy wasn’t shy when it came to discussing her demon status or anything else.

Behind her, Ivy huffed. “Oh, come on, Xander. I can’t stand Orias, either. I won’t be inviting him over for a sleepover so we can braid each other’s hair and gossip anytime soon, so ‘fess up.”

He glared at Ivy so long in the rearview that Jordan reached for the “Oh, Shit Bar” above her head, sure they would run off the road. When he broke contact and looked back the way they were traveling, her heartbeat slowed to normal rhythm.

“If you can’t trust us, who can you trust?” Ivy pressed on in typical fashion. “We’re basically putting our lives in each other’s hands by doing this job together. My sister has faith in you
and me
. She wouldn’t have asked us to help otherwise. I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. I care about her too much.”

Jordan reached across the seat and she and Ivy bumped fists. If she was allowed to return home when the job was done, Jordan would make it a priority to keep in touch with her half-sister. She could no longer deny she had grown to love Ivy. The fact that she was part demon had never been the issue when it came to keeping her distance.

Like a piece of agate in a rock tumbler, Jordan’s reluctance to admit her true feelings rolled around inside her head. What emerged was as lucid as clear quartz.

She was afraid – not only of getting close but of what others might think. Until then, it had never occurred to her that there was no one to worry about or impress. She was no longer in the Circle – not that it mattered. Gabe had already walked away. Uncle Case and the boys would come to understand and love her regardless.

“I’m an Invictus.”

Xander’s reluctant answer to Ivy’s question meant nothing to Jordan. Her sister, however, looked pissed.