Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1) (5 page)

To be fair, when she found out about those last two things, she might change her mind about joining her, so Isabella decided it would probably be best to keep those to herself. Enough was already being accepted by the woman, she didn’t need to pile on more and scare her off. On
that
hopeful note, she made sure to be careful as she woke her, not desiring a reactive punch to the face if she startled her awake. “Rukiiiiiii…”

Haruka’s eye opened. No fluttering, no tired blinking, no weary look, just open; ready. Kind of impressive to be that alert upon waking. Her green eye found Isabella’s grey ones and the blue-haired woman smiled, pulling the room’s curtains shut to block out the sunlight. “How are you feeling? Has the pain lessened?”

Haruka nodded, sitting up in the bed and showing no signs of soreness. “Gone.”

“Really? You have impressive healing abilities.”

“Chakra.”

“Oh, right. Monk. I forgot.” She moved to the last window, closing its curtains. “That seems even more useful than magic.”

Haruka shrugged. She watched Isabella’s movements with confusion, her brow furrowing a bit. “Curtains?”

Isabella smiled. She didn’t really know why she found Haruka’s manner of speech so
charming; maybe it was that the woman seemed so confident and strong-willed all the time and those one-word answers hinted at just a bit of shyness and maybe even a little innocence, even if that was a false impression. It was the same reason she found herself enjoying the woman’s blush.

Speaking of which… “The way you speak is so cute,” she said, looking back in time to see Haruka look away, cheek tinted red. She smiled and laughed softly. That was too easy, and she was going to take advantage. What? Fun was fun. She grew a bit more serious as she turned to answer though. “I’m closing the curtains so we can remove your bandages. Having been without light for two days, your eye is sure to be sensitive to it.”

Haruka’s expression darkened but she nodded her understanding. It was hard for Isabella to express how much she felt for the woman’s situation; she hoped it showed in her face, tone and actions. She took a seat on the edge of the bed, giving her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry; it won’t be as bad as you think.” Haruka gave her a dubious look and Isabella responded by laying her hand on her un-bandaged cheek, holding her gaze. “I promise, you won’t even be thinking about it an hour from now.”

Haruka sighed, seeming to run over the words in her head before nodding, choosing to believe her. Isabella smiled again before reaching up, carefully beginning to undo the bandages. Haru didn’t flinch and Bella didn’t expect her to as she peeled them away. After they were removed Haruka blinked several times, slowly letting her eye adjust to the room’s dim lighting. Isabella had been right; it likely would have been painful had she stared into direct sunlight.

Isabella picked up a hand mirror from the bedside table and handed it to her, knowing it would only be worse the longer she put it off. The monk looked in the mirror and at first her jaw tightened, realization setting in that she really was scarred now. In truth, she was lucky; while the scarring extended from forehead to jawline, her eye was virtually untouched and the scarring on her left cheek didn’t even reach her nose or lips. If she just combed her hair over her left eye to the jawline it wouldn’t even be noticed. But the skin that
was
scarred looked bad; ashen, almost grey, and yet a deep red in spots at the same time.

It was a mix of both burn and tear scars; she must’ve been hit by some shrapnel in the explosion. A little muscle tissue was visible in some spots, and over most of the area the skin was slightly twisted and almost thinner. It definitely looked a lot worse than it felt, though now that she saw it, it began hurting again. The worst part was that, looking at it, she couldn’t seem to focus on anything else; any time she tried to look at her eyes, or her mouth, or her other cheek, her gaze would snap back to the damage. Somehow that one patch of scarring marred the entirety of her appearance; ruined it.

She finally forced herself to lower the mirror and looked at Isabella, unsure what to say. Bella had watched her face go through several emotions and at that moment she would have given all of her other abilities to be capable of healing it. Wishing for such things was pointless, though, and not the answer Haruka needed. In the end, all Isabella could do was let the other woman know it didn’t matter to her.

She leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Haruka’s scarred cheek, her fingers brushing the brown hair away from the area. She looked at it for a second before catching Haruka’s green eyes and the surprise in them. She smiled at her, willing the sincerity she felt to show through, keeping her hand comfortingly against her cheek. “You look tough,” she stated softly, “and
delicate at the same time.” She looked between both eyes, making sure she was listening, understanding. “Your strength takes a scar and makes it a badge. And your beauty?” She chuckled softly, as if the notion was silly, “Your beauty isn’t marred at all.”

Haruka swallowed, holding Isabella’s gaze. She didn’t share things, personal things and feelings, with people, but Isabella certainly shared them with her, and it made it very hard to focus on depression or sorrow. Such open honesty and care was foreign to her, but just how much easier it made dealing with this… it was unbelievable, really. “Thank you,” she managed, hoping the two simple words really conveyed her gratitude.

Isabella smiled in relief, removing her hand, which Haruka – oddly – found herself missing as soon as it was gone. “You still want to use the mask?”

Haruka nodded, motioning to the scars. “Personal.”

“I understand. Well when you go out it will cover that no problem, and you’ll look mysterious and sexy. Well, sexy in a different way than you already are,” Isabella added with a grin, watching a new blush creep up on her companion. “
There
it is… Anyway,” she said as she picked up the half-mask, “If you’re going to travel with me, I have a rule.”

Haruka blinked, tilting her head. “Rule?”

“Yes,” Isabella replied, withholding the mask. “You can wear this in public, in crowds, whatever. But no wearing it when it’s just us. Deal?”

“Deal,” she softly agreed.

“Good! Now try it out. If you don’t like it we’ll come up with something else.”

Haruka slipped the mask onto her face. The cool porcelain felt good against the burned skin, a nice bonus. The mask was minimal and curved so that it didn’t touch her nose or lips, but covered everything left of them, from forehead to jawline. The hole for her eye was made so that it didn’t obscure her vision in any direction. Idly she wondered how Isabella had managed to make it fit so perfectly, so comfortably, to her face. She remembered her saying she had ‘done something like this before’, though; she would have to ask what that was at some point.

She examined herself in the mirror and was surprised to see that Isabella was, again, right; with the artful white mask over the left side of her face, covered in its intricate and beautiful designs, she really did look somewhat mysterious, sort of like a guest at a masquerade party. “Perfect,” she admitted, eliciting happy clapping from the blue-haired woman.

“Great! I’m so glad you like it! People will be all, ‘ooh, look at that woman! She’s so mysterious and seductive! I bet she has so many exciting secrets and
lives the most unusual life!”

Haruka chuckled, giving Isabella an amused look. “Reaching.”

“I’m not reaching! That’s totally what they’ll think! And if you do that glare you do with that on, you’ll look even fiercer and more impressive.”

“Fierce?” Haruka shook her head. “Hiding.”

“Yes, but you look like you are
hiding things
, not
in
hiding. And secrets are alluring. You look like someone with a lot of secrets and-“

“Mystery?” Haruka finished with a raised eyebrow.

Isabella huffed; the action made her seem much younger, childish even, which just amused Haruka. “Okay, maybe I’ve overused that word a bit, but it’s true.”

“Thesaurus.”

“I can’t believe you used a rare three syllables just to insult my vocabulary.”

“Deserved.”

“Now you’re just being cruel.”

“Honest.”

“Just for that, I’m not going with you to the festival today.”

“Liar.”

“And how do you know I’m lying?”

Haruka gave her a smug, self-satisfied smi
le. “You like me.”

“I… Well…” Isabella frowned, defeated. “That is so not fair. How do you win using only seven words?”

“Skill.”

“Yeah, well, I’m going with ‘cheating’.”

“Skillfully.”

“I guess I can’t deny that.” Isabella leapt up from the bed. Her mood could easily be described as ‘elated’ as she held out hand out with a large smile. “Enough losing to your cheating ways. Let’s get going!”

Haruka accepted the help getting up but, thankfully, found she had no problem standing under her own power. Another bit of good news she found as she got dressed was that her dark green longcoat had only sustained a small tear from a piece of shrapnel in the explosion, one that was easily fixed. If it wasn’t resistant to fire it probably would have been a lost cause.

After they left the room Isabella watched Haruka squint against the outside sunlight, her left eye clamped shut. “
Riiiiight, I think I forgot about the whole ‘haven’t seen light in two days’ thing. I’m sorry!”

“Fine”
Haruka assured her, as she moved some of her hair over her left eye to cut down the glare until it adjusted.

“If you say so.” Isabella clasped her hands behind her back, walking calmly down the street. “So, Haruka Saito, we’re going to be travelling together?”

“Yes.”

“Can I learn some basic information, then? I only really know your name. Like, how about your race? I’m pretty sure you’re elven.”

“Elf,” Haruka nodded, looking to Isabella. “Yours?”

“Well, while blue hair
is
a possible elven feature, I think you’ve noticed my grey eyes ruin that,” she replied, receiving a nod from Haruka, who knew elven eyes were almost always bright and vivid in color, like her green ones. “I’m a second-generation fallen.” She smiled at Haruka. “Both parents.”

Haruka tilted her head, her curiosity rising. “Type…?” she said, as if unsure if it was okay to ask. But then, Isabella had been nothing but honest with her so far, and if she didn’t want to answer she’d simply say so.

“Father was a demon, mother was an angel.”

“Rare?”

“Not as much as you’d think, actually. So I hear, anyway. I’ve never actually been to the fallen capitol, Haldar, or really seen other fallen at all; my parents met before they became so.”

That part actually
was
rare. Due to some racism in certain parts of the world, fallen almost always lived in The Floating City. “From?”

“Where am I from?” Isabella looked at her as if deciding if she could be trusted. “Areya,” she said softly.

Haruka blinked in surprise. Areya was far, far to the west; she’d never even known anyone who had been there. There was no point; even where they were now, outside Imperial lands, felt like far enough away from the ‘center of the world’ as people seemed to think of it. Areya was just some distant land beyond the distant lands, beyond the rocky plains of Mithlain, the forest beyond that, and even the mountains beyond that. “Far,” Haruka said, summing up what she thought about it in one word.

Isabella smiled sadly. “Yes, it is.”

“Left?”

“For good? Yes.”

“Return?”

“No…” Isabella sighed. “I don’t plan on ever going back. There’s…” She looked at Haruka. “It’s the past. And I can’t go back to that past. I can’t… go back to that place.” She looked away. “I know I’m a coward…”

Haruka caught her hand, causing her to look back at her. “Not,” she denied, shaking her head. “Difference,” she continued, moving her free hand to one spot to illustrate, “Running,” she moved her hand to a different spot, “Moving on.”

Isabella smiled at her. “I do like your explanation better. I’ve been running until now, though.” She tilted her head, studying Haruka. “Maybe you’ll help me switch to moving on,” she said in a soft voice as if to herself.

Haruka nodded. “Focus on future.”

Isabella nodded as well,
walking again. “You’re right, the future is what’s important. One can’t forget the past, though.”

“Remember,” Haruka cautioned as she followed her, “not focus.”

“Yes… I suppose I have a tendency to focus on the past sometimes. I can get dreadfully depressed
and
depressing. I apologize in advance for that, but you’re sweet enough not to mind, aren’t you?” She smiled at Haruka’s blush. “And you thought you were all hard. So tell me, Ruki, what age are you that has given you all this wisdom?”

“Common?” Haruka asked. Receiving a nod in response she held up two fingers, then nine.

“Twenty-nine? Me, too!” Isabella grinned. “Do you believe in fate, Haru?”

Haruka coughed, unsure what to say. She decided on a shrug and a smirk, saying, “Maybe.”