Reign: A Royal Military Romance (54 page)

“I don’t care if you walk around Fjords wearing a bikini and nothing else,” Nathan said.

Then he frowned.

“Well, maybe I care,” he said. “But you understand what I’m trying to say.”

Leah leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, still holding his hand.

“No bikinis. I promise not to get more risqué than booty shorts,” Leah teased.

Nathan frowned harder, and Leah just laughed as they zoomed on toward the casino.

E
ven though it
was the middle of the night, nearly two in the morning, when they got to the casino, the place was still hopping. Leah had fallen asleep in the passenger seat and woke up when they pulled into the parking lot, blinking sleepily at the display of lights on the outside of the building.

“I guess they’re still open,” she said.

“Gambling never sleeps,” Nathan said.

He leaned over and kissed her, letting his mouth explore hers just for a moment.

“Shall we?” he asked.

Leah was still half-asleep, so they were quiet as they walked toward the glowing entrance of the casino, her eyes getting wider and wider as they approached.

Inside was a cacophony of light and sound, the constant flashing and dinging and buzzing of a hundred slot machines, everything in the building vying for their attention.

As he searched for the front desk so he could get a room, he realized that Leah seemed almost overwhelmed. She’d probably never been anywhere like this, he realized.

“You okay?” he asked, tugging lightly on her hand, trying to bring her back to earth.

She shook her head a little, those red curls bouncing, and then looked up at him.

“Sorry,” she said. “This place is crazy.”

“Yeah, it’s a bit much,” he said. “I promise we can just stay in our room until later tonight, though.”

Then he winked.

Leah’s face was unreadable, and suddenly, something occurred to Nathan.

She was a virgin.

He’d known, of course. She’d told him she’d never been allowed alone with a man before who wasn’t a family member, so obviously she was a virgin.

Nathan had never really thought about it, though. But of course she was nervous about going from zero to sixty in the span of a couple of hours. Before last night she’d never even kissed someone, let alone taken her clothes off, let
alone
actually touched someone else who was also naked.

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, smiling comfortingly at her.

At the front desk, he requested a room with two double beds, and he thought he could feel Leah relax at the thought. Together, they went up the elevators and walked down the hall.

The casino-hotel wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t nice. The carpeting everywhere was insanely ugly, and the walls were starting to get dingy from all the smoke. The flowers on the table by the elevator were fake, and the keycard for the room took a couple of tries before it opened.

For a moment, Nathan thought about the last time he’d been in a motel room, not even a week ago, with those two women from the cruise ship, taking each other’s tops off, licking at sucking at their nipples.

The memory still held nothing for him. Nothing erotic whatsoever.

“This is nice,” Leah breathed behind him, and he opened the door to let her through.

Very carefully, she put her single bag — a backpack — down on the luggage rack, then walked slowly through the room, looking everything up and down, spinning in a circle before stopping and looking at Nathan again.

He clenched and unclenched his hands, over and over again, fighting himself. More than anything, he wanted to walk toward her, run his hands over her magnificent curves, and then tear her clothes off, take her on the bed right there, right then.

It was something deeper than pure, raw lust he felt for her — though it was that too. He wanted to be
part
of her, meld with her, become one.

“You should get some sleep,” he said. “You had a long day.”

“So did you,” she said.

She walked toward him, placing her hands on his chest, in a way that made his blood turn hot and his pulse race. He put his hands on her shoulders, carefully, sure to keep his raging, horny bear in check.

“I’m gonna take a shower first,” he said.

A very cold one
, he thought, just looking at her.

“Do you, um,” Leah said. She got flustered and looked down at the ground, grabbing at her hair with one hand. “Do you need any help or anything?”

It was the most adorable come-on Nathan had ever heard, and he couldn’t help but break into a wide grin and laugh.

“What?” she said, quickly turning bright red.

“Was that a pick-up line?” he teased.

He didn’t think it was possible, but Leah turned even brighter red, and then moved away from Nathan, slumping to sit on one of the beds.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” she said, sounding like she was about to cry. “This is the first time I’ve ever even been alone with a man,” she said. “I’d never even kissed someone before you, and I really just have no idea what I’m doing.” She sighed, looking to one side. “I’m thirty-two, and I’ve never even gotten to second base.”

Nathan sat down next to her, the mattress sagging under their combined weight.

“I don’t care,” he said, kissing her on the top of the head and pulling her close to his side. “You’re still the sexiest, most arousing woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, even if you wear a muumuu all day, every day.”

“Thanks,” she said.

Nathan hung onto her for a moment.

You should tell her
, he thought.
She has a right to know.

“I’m not exactly a virgin,” he said, slowly, his hand still rubbing her shoulder.

Leah sniffled.

“Of course you’re not,” she said, sounding very practical. “I know that my life hasn’t been typical, but still, it’s the only one I’ve had.”

“I’m really not a virgin,” he said.

At that, Leah went silent.

“What does that mean?”

“I’ve been with a lot of women,” Nathan said.

“How many is a lot?”

He had no idea. He’d been going down to Seward, the port town, every couple of weeks for how long, years?

“Fifty?” he said, not even sure of the number himself. “Seventy-five?”

Leah recoiled, pulling herself away from him and scooting across the bed by about a foot. She turned to face him.

“You’ve had sex with seventy-five women?” her tone was somewhere between astonishment and disgust, and Nathan felt his stomach plummet downward.

“Something like that,” he said. “I didn’t really keep count, honestly.”

She just stared at him.

“It started when I was in my early twenties,” he said, the words spilling out of him. “I tried to date a couple of the girls in Fjords, and it never really worked out, for one reason or another, and so I started just... picking up women in bars and taking them home for the night, you know? Everyone else in town was meeting their soulmates, finding real happiness and having relationships, and I just never thought it would happen to me, so I thought it didn’t matter who I had sex with.”

Leah swallowed and began tracing the ugly pattern on the bedspread with her finger.

“I didn’t think I would meet you,” Nathan said, his voice bordering on desperate. “Leah, if I’d have known, if I’d have had some inkling, I swear I would have waited. I’d have waited fifteen, twenty years for you to show up in my life, but I didn’t know.”

He put his hand on the bedspread and moved it toward hers until their fingers were just touching, and she looked up at him.

“I would have waited forever if I’d known I was going to feel this way,” he whispered. “I thought that was the closest I was going to get to happiness, but I was wrong.”

Leah looked at him for a second, then stood from the bed, hugging herself with her arms. She walked to the window and looked out over the parking lot, the fluorescent lights shining down over all the cars.

Then she turned around and nodded, still hugging herself.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s a lot to process, but it’s okay,” she told him, chewing on her lip.

He knew that face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, still on the bed.

Leah sighed and hugged herself tighter, not looking him in the eyes.

“What if I’m not enough for you?” she finally blurted out. “Seventy five, or even fifty, is a lot, and I’m more than clueless. I’m super-clueless, and worse, I’m really nervous,” she said. “And you must be used to these confident women who have tons of sex and do the one night stands and know all the sex
tricks
, and I barely know the basics of the birds and the bees...”

She trailed off and shrugged helplessly.

“And I’m still just worried it’s going to hurt,” she said.

“C’mere,” said Nathan, holding out his hand.

She walked back toward him, sitting next to him on the bed.

“If I wanted to be somewhere else, with anyone else, I’d be there,” he said, simply. “But I’m here with you and it’s two-thirty in the morning at an Indian casino, and we’re getting married tonight.”

Leah slumped against him, and he put his other arm around her, holding her close, his lips right by the top of her head.

“Let’s wait,” he whispered, her hair half-muffling the sound.

“A whole sixteen hours?” she asked. She sounded like she was trying to joke.

“As long as you want,” he said. “I swear I won’t do a thing until you tell me to.”

No matter how much I want to
, he thought, and swallowed hard.
I think there might be even more cold showers in my future
.

“Okay,” she said, and looked up at him.

“I want you to kiss me,” she said, and Nathan was only too happy to comply.

* * *

A
n hour later
, he couldn’t sleep. Leah was curled up beneath a mountain of blankets, just the top of her head visible, that orange hair springing free across the pillow. The curtains across the window didn’t quite meet in the middle, and there was a slash of bright fluorescent light across the TV.

You have to tell her about Kaitlyn
, he thought.
You have to tell her the worst thing you’ve ever done and then let her decide.

W
hen Leah woke
up at ten the next morning, she was spread-eagle across the double bed, face down in a veritable mountain of pillows.

She felt like Cleopatra or something: an entire double bed to herself! All the pillows she wanted, and probably more if she asked!

Leah knew that regular people stayed in motels sometimes, and had their own double beds, and that the little things she found so outlandishly luxurious were normal to them. Still, they were nice, weren’t they?

She sat up in her bed and stretched. Somehow, she’d had the forethought to pack a nightgown the night before. Even though it was incredibly frumpy — a long-sleeved, floor-length, frill-neck flannel granny nightmare — it was better than the awkwardness of sleeping in the buff with a man in the same room.

Your fiancé
, she told herself.
He’s your fiancé
.

Just the thought sent a little electric thrill humming through her body.

Her
fiancé
was fast asleep in the other bed, on his back, one arm thrown out toward her.

From the looks of it, he did sleep in the buff, even though the blankets were covering most of him.

For long moments, she just stared at him, studying his body while he slept. He had powerful arms and shoulders, the thick, ropy muscle defined even as he slept. Leah’s heart beat faster, and she had that feeling in the pit of her stomach again, the one that made her crawl out of her bed, tiptoe to his, and bend over him, just watching him sleep.

I just want to lick his neck and bite his shoulder as he...

She blinked, biting her lip. As he what?

As he held himself above her, sliding himself inside her for the first time?

Leah turned bright red and quickly turned away from Nathan, like he’d be able to read her thoughts or something.

Like he hasn’t thought about that already
, she thought.
Mom always said that men only want one thing
.

There was still something deep inside her, a desire, a hunger that she couldn’t exactly put her finger on, but it had a lot to do with the naked man in the bed next to hers.

The naked man rolled over in his sleep, onto his side, so he was facing her.

Leah took a deep breath and got into the bed with him, staying on top of the covers with him beneath.

Nathan opened his eyes.

“Morning, beautiful,” he said as Leah laid her head on his outstretched arm. “You sleep ok?”

“I slept great,” she said. “It’s so quiet.”

She reached one hand out to his face, daintily tracing her finger around his chin.

“Do I get a good morning kiss?” he asked. He reached his other arm around her back and pulled her close, the thick blanket still between them.

“I have morning breath,” she warned, but Nathan just shrugged and kissed her, the warm softness of his lips making her feel melty and strange, all over again.

She wondered again whether he was naked under the blankets.

It wasn’t a bad thought.

When the kiss ended, Leah put one of her hands on Nathan’s bicep, sliding it up his arm and to his shoulder, squeezing as she went.

“You’re naked, aren’t you?” she asked.

Nathan laughed, looking a little embarrassed.

“I didn’t think to bring pajamas,” he said, looking a little guilty. “I live alone, so I... spend a lot of time naked.”

Also not a bad thought.

“I’m wearing boxers,” he said. “So, not technically naked.”

Her hand moved onto his back, and then suddenly felt a change in his skin texture, a smooth lump that went on for a couple of inches.

“Is that a scar?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Nathan said.

“Motorcycle accident?” she asked.

“No,” he said, slowly. “It’s a brand.”

Leah frowned in confusion, her fingers still tracing the smooth spot on his back.

“Like for livestock?”

Nathan tried to laugh, but there wasn’t much humor behind it. “I guess so,” he said. “It was a long time ago, right before my brother left. A bunch of us got them. Brock’s got one, to show our loyalty to the clan. Shifter pride and all that.”

“That must have hurt,” she said.

“It did,” Nathan said, simply. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, but...”

He shrugged again, his words trailing off.

“Let me see,” Leah said.

She got on her knees and Nathan rolled over onto his belly.

The brand curved across the top of his back, the white-pink flesh obviously faded from how it had once been, but it was still obvious.

“Brock wanted you to do this?” she asked, tracing it lightly with one finger. “My god.”

“It goes all the way down,” he said.

Lightly, Leah grabbed the blanket and pulled it down, revealing more of Nathan’s muscled, defined back — and more of the pink scar tissue, curving around the bottom as well.

In the middle, she could just make out the shape of a bear in profile, a dot above it that she guessed was supposed to be a star. Probably the North Star.

“It used to say ‘true bear’ across the bottom,” he said as Leah fingers ran over him. “It turns out that twenty-year-olds are stupid and brands don’t heal very neatly, though.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“No,” Nathan said. “I mostly forget about it by now. It’s a symbol of how I used to feel about the pack, willing to burn myself that bad for it.”

He paused for a moment, lost in thought.

“My brother nearly killed me when he saw it,” he said. “I’d never seen him that angry.”

“What happened to your brother?” Leah asked. “How did he die?”

Nathan laughed, and Leah jumped a little, pulling her finger away from his back. Nathan rolled back over, putting his arms behind his head, his whole torso exposed, his chiseled pecs and abs gleaming in the morning sun.

“Miles is fine,” he said. “He’s alpha of the pack in Montana.”

“Everyone talks about him like he’s dead,” Leah said, confused.

“He left,” Nathan said. “He really fucked some stuff up. I was angry with him for a long time, but we’ve been talking again lately. Brock doesn’t know.”

“What happened?”

“His mate happened,” Nathan said. “His high school sweetheart came back to town. The pack was really awful to her, and the former alpha tried to kidnap her, so Miles fought him for alpha, won, and then they drove off the next morning.”

Leah’s eyes went wide.

“He left the pack without an alpha?” she said, sounding incredulous.

That was nearly unforgivable — packs
always
had alphas. It was just the way things needed to be. A shifter pack was volatile and needed someone to be firmly in charge. Just leaving a pack like that was almost unthinkable.

“Well, first he challenged the alpha to a fight, which no one had done for fifty years, won, and
then
he split,” Nathan said. “He set the precedent that you won alpha by violence again. The former alpha was too hurt to be alpha again. There was a lot of fighting, and some bad shit went down, but then Brock won out and he’s been alpha since.”

“Wow,” breathed Leah.

“He did some crazy shit for his mate,” Nathan said, tugging on Leah’s arm, making her lie back down next to him. “You know, I think I get it now.”

Leah giggled and snuggled into his side, careful not to disturb the blanket covering his lower half.

Then, her stomach growled.

“Oops,” Leah said.

“Breakfast?” Nathan asked. “There’s a diner that’s supposed to be good.”

“Sounds perfect,” Leah answered.

* * *

O
nce they got there
, Leah realized that she’d barely eaten in twenty-four hours — she’d been so busy making food for everyone else at the barbecue that she hadn’t eaten anything herself.

When they were finished wolfing down bacon and sausage and pancakes, they held hands on the table.

“You guys on your honeymoon?” the waitress asked as she left the check.

Leah laughed.

“Not yet,” she said.

This is what it feels like to be part of a couple in public
, she realized.
You can hold hands and everyone knows you’re together.

She sneaked a look at Nathan as he paid the check.

He’s mine
, she reminded herself.
Mine, not anybody else’s
.

She wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

They walked back into the casino holding hands, Leah practically humming with happiness.

Then she saw him.

His back was to her, but she knew exactly who it was, facing away from the door, glowering at the casino room in a button-down long-sleeved shirt and slacks.

For a second, Leah’s heart froze in her chest.

But
then
, she was furious. How could he follow her here, after she’d left him? It was perfectly clear that she wasn’t interested in him. Or at least she’d thought it had been.

She left Nathan behind and walked up to Ian, her fury making her brave. Besides, he couldn’t do anything here in a room absolutely full of humans.

“What are you doing here?” she shouted, and he turned around.

Then he smiled a very unpleasant smile.

“There you are,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“Of course I’m all right,” she said. “How did you find us?”

His eyebrows went up in mock surprise.

“You’re my bride-to-be,” he said. “I would go to any lengths to find you when you’ve been stolen from me.”

Leah snorted and crossed her arms.

“You know perfectly well I haven’t been stolen,” she said. Nathan came up behind her and put one protective hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine,” she told him, taking a step toward Ian.

“I’m here because I want to be here,” she told Ian.

“You need to come home with me,” Ian said. He took a step forward and now he was towering over her, threateningly. “Your father is furious. I’m sure you’ve guessed that, though. But we could forgive some of what you’ve done if you just come back with me, right now, even though you’ve been—” he looked at Nathan, disgust on his face, “—spoiled.”

Leah slapped him. She didn’t mean to, but it just burst out of her.

“Don’t you dare,” she said. She felt dangerous and wild, her own bear tearing at her skin to be let out.

Stay down
, she told herself.
There’s humans everywhere
.

“Nathan is twice the man you’ll ever be.”

“Carson,” Ian said. “Come over here.”

Suddenly someone else stepped forward, and Leah looked at him.

Then she gasped. It was her cousin, only his face was broken and bruised almost beyond recognition. Both his eyes were swollen nearly shut, his lip was puffy and cracked, and his nose was bent.

“Who did this to you, Carson?” Ian asked.

Carson didn’t speak, just pointed at Nathan.

By now, a small crowd of humans was gathering around the four of them.

“It’s not true,” Nathan said.

“You didn’t take him out into the woods yesterday morning to teach him a lesson on Brock’s order?” Ian said. His voice sounded slimy, somehow, and just listening to him made Leah’s skin crawl.

Nathan’s gaze flicked to Leah, uncertainly.

“I did,” he said. “But I didn’t beat him up. I’m done with that. I told Brock. We drove out there, but I couldn’t do it, so I drove him back toward town. I made him walk half a mile with a hangover is all.”

“So he beat himself up,” Ian said.

“I don’t know who beat him up,” Nathan said, holding his palms in the air. “I swear it wasn’t me.”

Leah turned and gave him a long, searching look.

He’s done a lot of bad things
, she thought.
What’s one more?

His eyes turned pleading, and something inside her snapped. He hadn’t done this.

“Get out,” she said to Ian. “I’m not coming with you, because Nathan and I are getting married. You probably beat Carson up yourself.”

“Don’t make me take you,” said Ian, his voice getting dangerously quiet. “If you don’t think I’ll shift right here and take you with me back to Fjords, you’re very wrong.”

Leah stepped forward until they were almost touching.

“I dare you to shift,” she said. “Shift in a room full of Alaskans. See what they do when there’s suddenly a grizzly bear in here. I can see three forty-fives just from where I’m standing, and that’s only the guns that would get through a grizzly’s skull. I’d bet good money that there’s a rifle behind the front desk, too.”

Ian paused, his face moving almost imperceptibly.

Then he glanced around nervously, as if trying to find the guns.

Finally, he snapped his head around.

“Carson, come on,” he said.

Then he stormed off the casino floor, headed to the big glass doors that led to the outside, but when he reached the final bank of slot machines, he turned around.

“Nathan,” he shouted, much louder this time. “You told her about Kaitlyn, right?”

“Keep walking,” Leah shouted, but as soon as he turned his back to her, she glanced nervously at Nathan.

Who was Kaitlyn?

Last night he’d told her that he’d been with dozens of women, but he’d also sworn up and down that those women didn’t mean anything to him. He hadn’t mentioned a Kaitlyn, though, and now Leah felt a stab of jealousy, right below her breastbone.