Rekindled Dreams (Moon Child) (7 page)

At the motel, he surfed the channels, rose and exercised. His thoughts bounced from one scenario to another. Some seemed possible, others not. He drifted to sleep with the television playing.

The morning sun woke him. After showering and dressing he ate in the coffee shop and checked out. After the service he would take Dana and the baby home, meet Matt and return to the city.

People gathered on the steps of the Episcopal church. The hearse arrived. Simon watched six men carry the coffin inside. He entered the church, clasped his aunt’s hand and hugged her. No one had asked him to be a pall bearer so he didn’t have to refuse. When the service ended he lingered on the steps and watched the procession of cars leave the parking lot. When the last one vanished around the corner, he went to his rental and drove to the hospital.

Dana sat in the rocker. Jenny was fastened into her infant seat. Simon lifted the carrier and the suitcase. A nurse arrived with a wheelchair for Dana. At the car, the nurse made sure the infant seat was secure. Simon helped Dana onto the passenger seat.

When they reached the house, he carried the baby inside. Dana held his arm. He returned to the car for her suitcase. He halted in the doorway of the large room with a desk near the window, a couch facing the television on the far wall. Dana held the baby.

Beautiful, he thought and wished they were his. Was there a way to make the fantasy a reality?

Dana placed Jenny in a beautiful wooden cradle. She walked to the couch.

Simon searched for a reason to stay. He had hours before his meeting with Matt. “Are you hungry?”

“Famished and I’m not sure what I have in the house. I planned a grocery trip but Jenny arrived.”

Simon grinned. “Tell you what. I have hours  before my meeting with Matt. Make a list and I’ll shop. I’ll grab lunch for us at Burger Bounty. What would you like?”

“One of their new pepper jack ones and huge fries with cheese sauce.”

“Sounds interesting. Have they changed their menu? I was hoping for one of the famous double cheese.”

“They still have the old selection. Just changed the number of cheeses you can choose.”

“Go make your list.”

The moment she left the room he walked to the cradle and examined the stand to make sure it was stable. Wouldn’t want any mishaps. He stroked the baby’s hand. “I wish you were mine. I’m working on a plan to make it so.” The infant curled her hand around his finger and his heart.

Dana returned with a list and handed him some bills. “This should cover what I’ve listed. If not, let me know and I’ll repay you.”

He shoved the bills in his wallet. “Will do but lunch is my treat.” And anything not on her list. He listened to her directions and left.

At the grocery store he parked and found a cart. Used to shopping at a deli or a small store, he entered and stared like a man entering Ali Baba’s cave.

Where to begin? He pulled out the list. Fortunately the aisles had signs indicating in a general way what he wanted. He wandered the aisles and checked off the items. Occasionally he added things not on the list, ice cream, a bear dressed in a pink tutu, flowers and a six pack of what had been Dana’s favorite candy bar. When he left the grocery store he’d spent her money and some of his own.

At Burger Bounty he placed the order, waited and paid for an insulated bag. He drove to Dana’s and managed to carry their lunch and two bags inside. He returned for the others.

Dana laughed. “Now I know why my mom never let my dad go shopping alone.” She unloaded the bags. "Flowers, thank you.” The sight of the candy earned him a punch. “The bear made her smile. “You can put it in Jenny’s cradle after we eat.”

Simon opened the insulated bag and removed their lunch. Dana poured fresh iced tea for them.

One bite of the burger brought a growl of pleasure from Simon. “I’d forgotten how great these were.”

“Me, too,” Dana said. “Been two years since I had one.”

“Why so long?”

“They’re peasant food, don’t you know. Randy wouldn’t eat anything so common. We always dined at the best restaurants or ate at home.”

Simon heard shades of irony in her voice and felt hopeful. If she’d loved Randy, the love had ended before the marriage. “Sounds like the snob I remember.”

Dana laughed. “No comment.” She scooped one of the large fries covered with cheese into her mouth. “When are you leaving town?”

“I’ll head back after I meet Matt.”

“Hope it turns out the way you want.”

He rose and cleared the table. “This is some huge house.”

She met his gaze. “Only the biggest and best for a Grantlan.” She turned away. “I have my maiden name back.”

“Why?”

“Part of the divorce agreement.” A monitor crackled.  The baby’s cries filled the air. Dana rose and left the kitchen.

Simon opened the dishwasher. His cousin had been a real prick. Just how badly had Randy’s demands hurt Dana? Simon wondered if he would be around to learn.

He left the kitchen. When he reached the family room he halted. Emotions swarmed like wasps after something sweet. Dana held the baby to one of her breasts. He looked away. His cock throbbed. You are sick. He shook his head to dislodge lust-filled thoughts.

* * *

Dana saw Simon pause in the doorway. Abruptly he turned away. Her face heated. She’d forgotten the shawl she’d intended to use when she fed Jenny. Dana held the baby to her shoulder and patted the infant’s back. She hadn’t meant to embarrass Simon or herself. The shared meal had brought a yearning for them to be more than old friends. Had failing to use discretion been some unconscious act? She had no right to tease him. She wanted what she couldn’t have, especially when he planned to leave Fern Lake today.

With shaky hands Dana buttoned her blouse. She carried Jenny to the cradle. Would Simon leave now? She stroked the baby’s cheek. She should boot the computer, read her emails and listen to any phone messages. Instead, she wanted more time with Simon.

She crossed the room. “Thanks for all your help. I’m glad you were here.”

So am I.”  Simon lowered his gaze. “I should have come years ago.”

“You must have had your reasons. We can’t change what happened.” He smiled. The one she remembered from years ago. Trickles of heat flowed beneath her skin.

As thought streamers of fire rolled through her body, she stepped closer. His arms circled her waist. His mouth touched hers. Dana dove into the flames. He stroked her back. Her hands rested on his shoulders. She wanted him. Though an impossible dream and much too soon, part of her didn’t care. She felt his hardness against her abdomen. There was one thing she could do.

Step by step they inched toward the couch. As they sat their lips parted.

“I can help you,” Dana said.

Simon stared. “We can’t.”

She ran her hands over his chest and felt his muscles quiver beneath her palms. She unbuttoned his shirt. “There things I can do. I’ve done them with you years ago.”

Simon grasped her wrists. “Dana, this isn’t the way and it’s not the time.” He pulled her close and devoured her mouth.

The drugging sensations of his kiss made her forget the thought that arose. He didn’t want her. She ran her hands over Simon’s chest. She’d never been this eager with Randy. Her dead husband had been a taker. He’d never had the desire to do more than ram and demand she give him what he wanted,

“Dana, you’re driving me crazy.”

“Good or bad.”

“Both.” He clasped her hands and stared into her eyes. His blues darkened. “I want what you want to give me.”

“I hear a but in your voice.”

He groaned. “This isn’t the right time.” He pressed his forehead against hers, released her hands and drew her closer.

She felt insecure. She wanted to tell him her dreams of yesterday had taken fire again. She couldn’t. The fragile moment could shatter in an instant. ”Then where do we go from here?”

“I need to learn where I want to go next. My life is a mess. No job. No home.”

“What about Matt’s offer?”

“I haven’t heard what he wants.” He released her. “I’m not sure I can work with someone as my boss.”

She slid away. “Will you at least call me and let me know how you are?”

“I promise not to leave you in the dark again.” He cupped her face and kissed her lightly. Then he rose and went to the cradle.

Dana waited beside the couch until her returned to her side. “I need to make this appointment with Matt.”

“Good luck.” She wanted to ask him to stay and couldn’t.

Simon pulled her into his arms and kissed her. A moment before the kiss became explosive he released her and opened the door.

Dana stood in the open doorway for a moment before pushing it shut. Tears threatened. She bit her lip. She wouldn’t cry until she felt sure he wouldn’t return. As long as there was hope she would keep her tears inside.

Drawing a deep breath she returned to the family room and booted the computer. She had a new business to operate and a daughter to raise. Simon would call. He had promised.

Chapter
6

Simon sat behind the wheel of the rental car and sucked deep breaths of air. He willed his body to relax. What he really wanted to do was return and take what Dana had offered. He couldn’t. Wouldn’t be fair to her or to promise something he couldn’t give. She had been willing to return to the teenage years of heavy petting and more. He wanted her but not in that way. When and if they went beyond kisses that set him burning there had to be the chance for both of them to be consumed by fire.

He grasped the wheel. The answer to his refusal to accept her offer startled him. He wanted to offer her a life where they could form a family. For the past year he’d been undercover. Slinking through dark alleys in his role as a homeless vet had made him cautious. He’d avoided the few women he’d dated before becoming a covert operative. Stepping out of his assumed persona had meant danger. Though he thrived on taking chances, staying alive had been his goal.

He started the car. Walking away from the police force had been a life-saving move. Danger had lost the stimulating effect. Had he grown up? Seeing Dana again had made him think of dreams he’d cast aside. Being with her had raised the old emotions of wanting her; of losing her of learning she’d married Randy.

When he’d heard the news of the wedding he’d considered a trip to Fern Lake to stop the ceremony. How? He’d been gone for years and never reached out. Believing Dana had forgotten him had frozen the impulse. Instead he’d gone undercover.

Why had she married Randy? He had to know.

Simon backed the car from the driveway. He hadn’t asked that question. From the little she’d said the two years of marriage hadn’t been wonderful. How could he blame her for seeking love? Until he’d joined the force and called Aunt May no one knew where he could be found. Dana had been free to live her life. What had he been trying to prove?

Guilt flooded his thoughts. Today Dana had given him hope. Until his path was settled and he had answers to his questions he had to remain silent about his feelings.

He drove through town and parked near the huge warehouse where Matt’s new venture was housed. When Simon knocked his friend answered and led him to a room where open boxes faced a wall of monitor screens.

Matt grinned. “A work in progress. The techs arrive tomorrow to finish the installation.” He indicated a chair. “Give me more about what you’ve been doing.”

“Only if you share.”

Their talk spanned the similarities and the differences of their past ten years.

“So what’s with this security company?”

Matt leaned forward. “Became friends with the computer guy in college and met his older brother a year later. They were headed to the Southwest. Not where I wanted to be. When I wanted out of the state police, I called them.”

“Did they still want you to move?”

Matt laughed. “Just for training. Went through a brutal physical process and honed my computer skills. Took three months. Came home and opened an affiliated branch. Been looking for a partner.”

Simon chuckled. “We could be a team like we where in high school.”

Matt leaned back. “Exactly. You can come on board as a hired hand or the partner I want.”